CrawfordTimes 16 online (1)

Parents perception: The first Byron’s parents had
heard of the situation was when their child was
suspended from the athletics and rugby team
(of which he was the Captain!). The decision
seemed over-the-top and impulsive, after all they
had never heard of any problems prior to the
suspension.“Teachers should be trained to deal
with teenage boys, that’s their job!” The parents were
adamant that that teacher didn’t like Byron and
they would not allow his future to be compromised
by an “idiot”. They went straight to the Principal. This
was war!
Parents’ problems:
• No adequate communication from the school.
• Mismanagement of the situation and our
expectations.
• Mistrust of the educators and the school system.
Teacher’s perception: We had been sending letters
home to Byron’s parents about his behaviour for
weeks and he had received three detentions that
term for other behavioural issues. As high school
educators, we are equipped to deal with teenage
personalities and we didn’t want to run unnecissarily
to the parents. It was quite sad, really, as Byron
had so much potential but he was throwing it all
away because of his ego. Only when it became
unmanageable did we suspend Byron and take
other formal disciplinary steps against him. He
is, after all, almost an adult and needs to take
responsibility for his actions! Instead of responding
to our letters, the parents then went straight to the
Principal. Byron has been reinstated and he now
feels he is “untouchable” and the bad behaviour
has not only continued but worsened.
Teachers’ problems:
• Uninvolved parents (not aware of all details)
• Mismanagement of expectations
• Bad communication
• No conflict plan put in place
Byron’s perception: I don’t mean to blow my own
horn, but I am the best athlete on that team and
they treat me like a child. What did they think would
happen when they suspended me off the teams?
Without me the school will not win. That teacher
obviously doesn’t like me, which is fine because I
don’t like him either! I’ll just do the bare minimum if
they don’t value me. It will hurt them more than me.
Byron’s problems:
• Demotivated
• Unaccountable for behaviour
• No lessons learned
Overall problem:
Everyone has left this situation divided and
unfortunately it is human nature for the feelings to
fester, which will add to the overall negativity of the
individuals and the deterioration of the positive
community spirit of the school.
Goal:
Ultimately, family-school partnerships are about
maximising student opportunities for success. That’s
the goal!
When both parents and teachers learn to improve
their partnership efforts and students remain at the
heart of all relationships, family-school partnerships
can be preserved, even in the presence of conflict.
Two common barriers in most parent-teacher
conflicts are emotional parents and a lack of
teacher training.
Both parents and teachers may want what is best
for a student, but their expectations and perceptions
of a particular child and situation can vary. With this
in mind, it is important to understand the traditional
barriers that exist between parents and teachers.
COMMON BARRIERS FOR
PARENTS AND TEACHERS
For parents:
• Expecting more from educators
• Distrust of educators
• Educator’s lack of communication
• Educator’s unresponsiveness to family needs and
wishes
For educators:
• Parents playing a passive role in their child’s
educational process
• Fear of conflict with parents
• Concerns about families’ abilities to assist with
school-related issues
• Negative communication with families regarding
a child’s academic progress or behaviour
• Difficulty seeing parents as partners in the
educational process
The way forward
The willingness and ability to appropriately handle
conflict are key to the establishment of effective
family-school partnerships.
Relationships between parents and educators are
often cival, even friendly, while no tension exists;
however, when a conflict arises, it becomes much
Every child a masterpiece | 37