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Page 8A THE BEACON April 2020 By Merrill Hutchinson When was the last time one of your kids made you so mad you wanted to scream? Don’t tell me I’m the only one that gets fired up like this. I worked as a school counselor for over twenty years; I’ve seen some of you in action. Steam coming out of your ears, face turning beet red, veins bulging out of your neck. That’s some ugly stuff! I have more than my share of personal stories that demonstrate my immature way of handling anger with my kids. I remember one summer when I told my kids over and over again to pick up their toys out of the yard. Finally, one day while cutting grass, I saw a glove and baseball laying out in the yard... again! They were soaking wet after being left out overnight. As I looked at the glove, I got an idea. I felt this devilish smile appear on my face that might remind you of the Grinch as he was taking the very last toy from the kids in Whoville. As the smile appeared, the ball and glove disappeared under the mulching blade of my mower. Before you judge, think about how you have handled anger and frustration Slow to Anger with your kids. Let’s face it- raising kids can be tough! None of us are perfect, and we don’t always make decisions that make us proud. We all have seen and experienced raging anger that has led to hurt, mistakes, and even scars- physically, mentally, and emotionally. Maybe we were the giver; perhaps we were the receiver, but either way, anger is something that often leaves us with regrets. Handling our anger in a better way gives our kids a positive model from which to learn. We must keep a couple of things in mind. • We must remember that we are human, but so are our kids. We make mistakes. We allow our emotions to get the best of us, and sometimes, we just make bad choices. Our kids are no different. They, too, make mistakes, bad choices, and run amok with emotions. The difference is that you are an adult. Despite what you might see on the news, adults should be held to a higher standard for how they handle their anger. We have too many adults throwing tantrums like children, and our kids are watching it happen. As adults, we have a greater responsibility to model a healthy response to anger. When we get upset with our kids, losing sight of the power and influence we have over them is easy. Whether we realize it or not, children are watching everything we do. Children emulate what they see and often hold on to our words and actions like we were their heroes. • We need to become aware of our triggers. The longer we parent our kids, recognizing our triggers becomes easier. The things our kids do that seem to draw a strong negative emotion from us. Once you identify your triggers, the time has come to deal with them. You must put certain practices into place that allow us to avoid, alleviate, or accept the triggering behavior. I often think of this as a fire drill. Fire drills are held in our schools because we want our kids to recognize what the unpleasant sound is and then develop a set plan to respond. Fire drills allow us to empty a school building full of young children in a matter of seconds... calmly! Teaching yourself to react appropriately to your kid’s negative behaviors can also keep you and your family safe from the pitfalls of emotional triggers. • Inform your kids about your triggers - If your kids do something that pushes your buttons, discuss what these triggers are with them before you get to the point of raging with anger about their unacceptable behavior. For example, “Kids, I hate to see your Melany Longo, DCHBA Executive Officer; Lisa Cox, DCHBA President; Amy Phillips, YES Home Director; and Lashanda Messer, DCHBA Vice President. (Photo courtesy of Melany Longo) Dearborn County Home Builders Support Community The Dearborn County Home Builders Association (DCHBA recently hosted their annual Home and Garden Show where they had a gift basket raffle. They decided to “give back” to the community by donating the proceeds of their basket raffle to the YES Home. The donation will be used to help fund building improvements being made to the exterior of the YES Home. The mission of the DCHBA is to promote affordable housing, builder networking, and construction education. bikes out in the yard when I come home from work. They need to be in the garage before I get home.” Conversations like this help your kids know your expectations. Trying to catch our kids messing up speaks to our immaturity and the need to demonstrate power over our kids. • When kids do hit your trigger, understand your emotions, and put yourself into a time out. Take a break! This step does not mean to let the incident go. It means giving yourself time to tackle the incident with a logical mind, not a raging temper. Your reaction is YOUR responsibility. You are the adult. Don’t blame a child for your out-of-control behavior. • If you mess up, own it. One of the most powerful things a parent can do with their children is to apologize. However, an apology without repentance is of no value. If you apologize and the next day you lose your temper again, for the same reason, they will soon learn your words mean nothing. • Don’t mix up admitting your wrongdoing by excusing their wrongdoing. If your child was indeed doing something wrong that needs to be corrected, then healthy and appropriate consequences are required. They, too, need to learn to apologize and accept Call your local licensed Humana sales agent. Call your local licensed Humana sales agent. responsibility for their actions. • Keep in mind the following - God gives us justice and grace, but he balances these two with love. Think about how often you have probably made God want to scream because of the things that you have done. Aren’t you thankful for God’s grace and mercy? Your kids desperately need that same balance of justice and grace. As your children grow up, they may still look up to you as their hero, but they will eventually realize you are only human. One of the greatest gifts we can pass on to our children is to demonstrate how we have grown and matured. Teaching your kids through discipline and praise are essential, but limiting the number of negative scars caused by our anger is something we will never regret. If you find yourself experiencing intense or frequent bouts of emotionally charged anger, consider speaking with your spouse or a friend about getting help. Reach out to a pastor, priest, or counselor. Do not allow you or your family to become a victim of anger. Your kids will thank you, and your family will be better for it. Merrill Hutchinson is the President of Rock Solid Families, a faith-based coaching organization in St. Leon, IN. Talk with your local licensed Humana Sales agent today. 513-857-9513 (TTY: 711) Talk with your local licensed Humana Sales agent today. Monday – Friday, 8 a.m. – 5 p.m. 513-857-9513 (TTY: 711) Monday – Friday, 8 a.m. – 5 p.m. Dan Art Dan Art Y0040_ GHHHXDFEN18 Accepted Come dine with Third and Main in our family owned Restaraunt and Tavern, open since 1891! Serving mouth watering, dry-aged steaks, fresh seafood, & dazzling cocktails. Y0040_ GHHHXDFEN18 Accepted weekly specials TUESDAY Half Price Bottle of Wine \ WEDNESDAY Seafood Night: $1 Oysters, $2 Prawns, $30 1lb Alaskan King Crab 223 3rd Street, Aurora, IN 47001 812-655-9727 thirdandmain.com THURSDAY Buy Any Steak, Get a Salad or Soup & Dessert on Us! Twenty-five Years of Bringing our Community and Businesses Together.
April 2020 THE BEACON Page 9A FROM H ere By Ollie Roehm OK, I admit it. I was one of those people. They had to drag me kicking and screaming into the twenty-first-century world of cell phones. For years I had a nasty, cheap little flip phone that didn’t do much besides be a telephone. Most of the time, I left it sitting on the dresser. I believed, and still do, that people spend way too much time on their devices. I was a rebellious hold-out. But all of that changed a couple of years ago. My son found a deal that was about the same cost as the set-up I had with the flip-phone people. So I went to the dark side. I got an iPhone. I’m still not one of those folks who is constantly on their phone and don’t intend to be. But I must admit, I have become dependent upon many of the cool tools on my phone. It’s amazing to me the number of contraptions, gadgets, and other stuff we don’t need anymore because of our phones. There is a calculator in a drawer somewhere. It’s probably hanging out with the alarm clock, compass, and the old stopwatch. We don’t use any of them because we have phones. While working on a song the other day, I decided to make a recording so my feeble old brain wouldn’t forget it. In my pre-iPhone days, one of three tape recorders lying around would have been commandeered. Now I don’t need any of them because the recorder on my phone is great. If I want to get fancy, add instruments, and do other things, I can use Garage Band, a sound-mixing app that is pretty good. I still use the same guitar tuner I’ve had for years, but I really don’t need it. My phone has a nice one. Our MP3 players and iPods are in a drawer or box somewhere and will probably never be played again. An iPhone holds a lot of music and is a breeze to use. There is a portable radio out in the garage that works great, but I hardly ever listen to it. The phone gets just about any station, sounds fine, and has no reception problems. We have a police scanner somewhere. But there is an app on my phone that works much better. Having been a small-town newspaper editor, I have a bunch of cameras. I don’t need or use any of them because the camera on the phone is the better option. There is a very nice Garmin GPS unit in the closet. It gets free lifetime updates, and we used to rely on it a lot. We very seldom use it now because the Waze app on the phone gets us there and back easier and more reliably. When I want to have a look at the calendar, I usually don’t use the floppy paper one hanging in the kitchen. The one on my phone is easy and quick to use. It’s the BCEF Sponsors Study Abroad Zoe Peters Kayla Stone same way with the phonebook. A number is much easier to find on your phone. I’m sure my phone can handle a whole bunch of other chores, but I’m not there yet. There is probably no way I’ll ever get rid of my wristwatch even though the phone has a clock. The watch is just more convenient. Two recipients have been selected for the Andy Koors Legacy Fund sponsorship program, which assists Batesville High School (BHS) students who want to study abroad during high school. Zoe Peters and Kayla Stone were chosen to each receive $2500 toward program fees for the Indiana University (IU) Honors Program in Foreign Language. This program sends students to foreign countries for the summer to further their study of foreign language and to be immersed in another culture. The Andy Koors Legacy Fund promotes initiatives that reflect the values displayed by Mr. Koors during his life, such as his dedication to foreign language and generosity to students. The phone has a “wallet,” but I’m just fine with the leather one in my back pocket. There is a lot of stuff I should throw away because of my phone – things that I’ll probably never use again. But I just can’t seem to do it. I guess part of me is still stuck in the twentieth century. And I’m OK with that. By Stefanie Hoffmeier Spring will be here before you know it. When the weather warms up, many people take the opportunity to declutter, reduce, and get some spring cleaning done in their homes. But before you get that “throw it away” mentality, think about reuse and recycling for those items that you haven’t used in a while. As you’re clearing out junk and filling garbage bags in the coming weeks, these tips will help you clean up and properly dispose of waste. Electronics The Indiana Electronic Waste (E-Waste) Law prohibits electronics from being thrown in the trash. The purpose of the law is to reduce the amount of electronic waste being sent to Indiana landfills and to ensure that hazardous substances found in electronic waste are being managed in an appropriate and environmentally responsible manner. When cleaning out your old electronics, you can take them to the Dearborn County Recycling Center (DCRC) Drive-Thru to be recycled. Electronics that should be recycled include computers, tablets, monitors, televisions, printers, digital photo frames, cameras, camcorders, DVD and VHS players, set-top boxes, and cell phones. The rechargeable batteries in electronics, tools, and toys also need to be recycled. Placing lithiumion batteries in your trash containers causes a dangerous situation. If these batteries Spring Cleaning Without Filling Up the Trash Can break, they may spark fires, putting your family and trash hauler unnecessarily at risk. Consider donating electronics that still work to charities and thrift stores. Garage Like many people, your garage is probably filled with old paints and lawn chemicals that you no longer need. These products contain ingredients that are toxic, flammable, reactive, or corrosive. They should never be poured down the drains, poured into the yard, or placed in the trash. You can bring household hazardous wastes such as automotive fluids, degreasers, paint thinners, pesticides, fertilizers, pool chemicals, propane tanks, and solvents to the DCRC Drive-Thru. Latex, or water-based, paint is accepted if it is at least 1/3 full, never been frozen, and in the original container with the label still on. All latex paints taken at the DCRC are donated to Mathew 25 Ministries, where they are re-blended and reused for reconstruction projects. The DCRC Drive-Thru accepts automotive chemicals such as oil, antifreeze, and transmission fluid, as well as tires for a fee. If you have a stack of empty cardboard boxes from packaging and online purchases, break them down for recycling and place the styrofoam packing materials in your trash. Inside the House Accumulated magazines and newspapers can be recycled in your curbside bin or at one of the DCRC 24/7 drop off locations. Hardback books can either be donated, resold to reuse bookstores, or brought to the DCRC Drive- Thru to be recycled. If you have accumulated boxes of files with sensitive information, take them to the DCRC Drive-Thru to be shredded. When shredding at home, use transparent or translucent bags to collect the shredded paper, then place the clear bags in the DCRC 24/7 dropoff locations. New and gently used school supplies, craft supplies, sewing supplies, fabric, and office supplies can be donated to the DCRC Creation Station for reuse in schools and with non-profit organizations. Small and large appliances, including refrigerators, can be brought to the DCRC Drive- Thru for recycling. A $10 fee is charged for all freon appliances. Consider donating gently used furniture, excess kitchen utensils, and dinnerware to thrift stores or charities. While plastic toys cannot be recycled, they can be given to thrift stores, daycares and nurseries, and some local charities. Make sure to call the organization to which you are donating items before dropping them off. Sometimes these items are entirely unusable and must, unfortunately, be put in the trash. Once you’ve taken stock of what you want to get rid of, separate the items between what can be donated, what can be recycled, and what must go in the trash. Proudly Supporting Our Lincoln Day Dinner 2020 Checking | Savings | Loans | CDs & IRAs | Trusts SHOP LOCAL and tell our advertisers you saw them in The BEACON!
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