Wokingham and Bracknell Lifestyle Apr - May 2020

Visiting a
care home;
ADVERTISING FEATURE
the a-z
of top
tips
Dementia expert Professor June Andrews
gives us her insightful tips into visiting a
loved one in residential or nursing care...
When someone with dementia moves into
a care home, it is often a great relief for
the family. Many things are immediately
better. You can get an undisturbed night’s
sleep and it’s possible to go out and about
without worrying how your loved one is, and
whether they are safe. But it is not always
so simple. You might worry about whether
the new resident is being looked after
properly, or whether they are fretting and
missing you.
Visiting now becomes an important issue.
How often should you go and for how long,
and what on earth do you do when you are
there? Because people ask me this, I made
an A-Z of visiting ideas an important part
of my new book on care home. Especially
as you know the person you are visiting, I
expect you will be able to think of variations
on this theme.
AAvoid contradicting someone with
dementia, even for clarification.
Bring the newspaper or photos to look at.
Calmly sit and wait. Just being there is
good in itself.
Don’t be louder than needed.
Even if you are in a hurry, don’t appear to
rush.
Find conversation-starters apart from ‘Do
you remember when … ?’ Direct questions
are like a memory test, and uncomfortable.
Give a hug (with permission) or find
appropriate contact like a hand massage.
Have food to share, or go for a
cuppa.
Introduce yourself again every time, even if
you are sure they know you.
Just wait after speaking. To give extra time
for a response, count to ten.
Keep an eye out for tiredness, and offer
sips of water.
Limit the numbers visiting at any one time.
Make an attempt to get outside, if only on a
roof terrace or balcony.
Never forget that the person can read your
body language.
Offer to bring your dog or other pet,
especially if it is calm and affectionate.
Pick their best time of day.
Quick visits are acceptable - what matters
is the quality.
Read out loud.
Sing together.
Try to be in a quiet room.
Understand, if they are rude, that this is not
personal.
Visiting cards or notes let others know that
you called and are good for reminding the
resident that they are loved and respected.
When it is time to go, find a distraction to
cover your departure.
XXX is for kissing - only do it if you used to
do it before.
Young visitors are always popular, and
babies are amazing.
ZZZ is for when they sleep through your
visit; you were there - that matters - so leave
a card. Use the time to relax yourself or talk
to someone else who is lonely.
Z
If just visiting the care home starts to be
hard work for the family, neighbours and
friends can help. It might be hard to make
sure someone is there every day, and you
can work together to fill the gaps. Have fun!
Professor June’s book, Care Homes: The
One Stop Guide: When, Why and How to
Choose a Care Home will be released in
June.
It is Dementia Action Week from 11-17 May
2020. Find out more at www.alzheimers.org.
uk. You can also call the National Dementia
Helpline for support on 0300 222 11 22.
44 | www.wokinghamlifestyle.co.uk