RENDEZVOUSSEE YOU THEREBY WENDI RANKI don’t hunt. I don’t fish. I don’t even go outside.I’m at Rendezvous 2019.Back home, our friends think “Rendezvous” is a romantic rendezvouswith my husband.They don’t understand I’m meeting up with my husband atRendezvous because he thinks it’s romantic.I’m not sure I even understand.I arrive slathered in SPF 50 and still feel my lips burn, curlingand sizzling like breakfast bacon in the Boise sun. In a scene evocativeof any romance novel, I reunite with my beloved amongstcamouflage, compound bows, fixed knives and duck calls.My wayward husband hands me a beer and ushers me intothe MeatEater podcast, which is basically the hunter’s version ofChampagne and roses.Out of 1400 people at the podcast, I’m almost definitely thelone non-outdoorsman. I’m like Where’s Waldo Goes To Rendezvous.After MeatEater, every BHA member in Boise heads to a bar.An indoor bar. I feel like maybe the outdoorsmen of BHA aretrying to make me feel welcome by hosting all events of this particularevening inside.Drinking at the bar, I get into a conversation with Land Tawney.We bond because we both had parents that went to collegewhen we were children. We also bond over our mutual disbeliefthat someone like me is at Rendezvous.When I say “we bond” I mean that I have an amazing experiencetalking to BHA’s CEO, and Land has a bizarre experience beingtrapped in a conversation with the lone life member of BHAwho doesn’t go outside.After a few hours in the bar, I try to fulfill the expectations backhome and make this Rendezvous truly amorous. After all, a mandoesn’t take his wife to a MeatEater podcast if he’s not hoping fora little action later, am I right?I am not right. I stand in our hotel room alone and contemplatethe stupidity of leaving my pajamas at home. If my huntercan leave me for a cold, middle of the night escapade throughthe woods in search of some white tail, he’ll leave me for a warm,boozy room to discuss whitetail.On Saturday morning, my hunter is up and out before I’m everconscious because hunters are always up and out before anyone isconscious. It’s basically a federal law. Part of Pittman-Robertson,I think.Later, my husband texts me to come touch a snake. He knowsI’m herpetophobic so I figure he means his snake.It’s not what he means.It’s a real snake.It’s the only snake I’ll touch for 36 hours.After the rattler, I try unsuccessfully to tear my hunter awayfrom Rendezvous. Instead, I shop for pajamas because – let’s behonest – the only guy in Boise who has seen me naked at thispoint is my hotel’s masseuse.Later, my hunter and I try to reconnect in the plaza. He’s wearinga baseball cap. Plaid button-down. Khakis. They’re the BHAdress code. Now he’s Waldo, in a sea of Waldos, just as impossibleto spot.How did I get here? Married to a hunter? Hanging out at Rendezvous?I’m never going to be an outdoorsman. Dark forestsare terrifying places. Has any BHA member besides me seen TheBlair Witch Project? Friday the 13th? Deliverance? I even read anarticle once about people murdered by a drifter on the AppalachianTrail, near our hunting cabin. You guys should maybe readthat article too.Still, my herpetophobia and agoraphobia prove no match forBHA. Rendezvous is like coffee with a shot of Baileys – you feelwarm, relaxed, gooey. Optimistic about the world and the peoplein it.That feeling carries me home. I try to hang on to it. I try readingA Sand County Almanac. A few Jim Harrison novels.Nope. I’m still pretty sure the Blair Witch is waiting for me inthe murky woods. And James Harrison is Khan’s pseudonym inthe Star Trek universe. Did Khan pen Legends of the Fall?!That probably just got me banned from Rendezvous 2020.I can live the BHA mission without actually going outsidethough, right? Can I conserve from my sofa? Own public landwhile under my roof? There’s one way to know for sure.Let me come to Rendezvous 2020.I promise to give Sand County another chance. I promise tocool it with the Star Trek references.I even promise to leave Land Tawney alone.So, see you there?BHA life member Wendi Rank is an indoors enthusiast from Pennsylvania.She spends her free time patiently waiting for her husbandto return from hunting. Her writing has been published in Nursingand the Journal of Neuroscience Nursing.22 | BACKCOUNTRY JOURNAL SPRING 2020
Elk Valley Big HornOutfittersBig Game Hunting, Fishing & Horseback AdventuresSam MedcalfGuide and Outfittersam@elkvalleybighorn.cawww.elkvalleybighorn.caSPRING 2020 BACKCOUNTRY JOURNAL | 23