It's Complicated -Exploring Life's Difficuties......

It’s 

Complicated

It’s 

Complicated 

by Marilyn I. James 

MIJ PUBLISHING 

Washington, DC

It’s Complicated 

Copyright © 2019 by Marilyn I. James 

Unless otherwise stated, Scripture quotations are taken from the King James and 

New King James Versions of the Bible Copyright 1997, Word Publishing. 

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or 

transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or 

other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the 

publisher. Exceptions are given for cases of brief quotations embodied in critical 

reviews and certain other noncommercial uses as permitted by copyright law. 

ISBN: 978-0-9890128-5-0 

Printed in the United States of America. 

To order copies, please email the publisher at the address below: 

MIJ Publishing 

Washington DC 

youthliftoff@gmail.com

Acknowledgements 

Praise God from whom all blessings flow. 

Some of my life’s decisions were inspired by complicated 

experiences. Timely advice, words of wisdom, and genuine 

assistance, were of immense value in handling those 

complications successfully. 

Sincere thanks and gratitude to my husband Anthony, and 

also to my sons: Mark, Maurice, and Matthew for your 

continuous love and support. 

Thank you Rev. Dr. Artie L. Polk for your editorial skills 

that has made this book a reality. Thanks also to family and 

friends, who encouraged me to write this book. May it be an 

inspiration and guide to those seeking understanding and help 

to deal with their situations. 

--Marilyn James

Table of Contents 

Introduction 

Chapter 1: Life Situations 13 

Chapter 2: A Common Consensus on Complications 21 

Chapter 3: Scientific Theories 27 

Chapter 4: Creationism and Theological Perspective 35 

Chapter 5: Bible Situations 43 

Chapter 6: Purpose of Bible Stories 49 

Chapter 7: Dealing with Negative and Positive Emotions 55 

Chapter 8: The Cocoon Effect 63 

Chapter 9: Processing Life’s Difficulties 71 

Chapter 10: Divine Serendipity 77 

Chapter 11: Ways to Overcome Life’s Difficulties 85 

Bibliography 97 

About the Author 99

INTRODUCTION 

Inspiration for this book came after participating in a series 

of civil engagements. These consisted of discussions, and brainstorming 

sessions. Participants included strategists, thought 

leaders, educators, health and welfare personnel, and stakeholders. 

All interactions were aimed at ascertaining equitable solutions to 

ongoing dilemmas that plague humanity in areas of poverty, health, 

homelessness, social injustice, etc. Discussions focused on best 

practices that showed positive results and were recommended to 

be implemented in other places. Throughout the soul searching 

exchanges and engagements, words like difficult, unfathomable, 

and complicated resonated. I mused about the many times I too 

wished, “if only I knew of a simple fix or way out of a situation” or 

asked, “Isn’t there an easier solution to a problem? Recognizing the 

burden of handling life’s perplexities as an ongoing task, I ventured 

to do further investigation. 

The Webster dictionary defines (com·pli·cat·ed) as: 

“consisting of many interconnecting parts or elements.” Its 

synonyms include: complex, intricate, involved, convoluted, tangled, 

impenetrable, knotty, tricky, thorny, labyrinthine, tortuous, 

Gordian; confusing, bewildering, perplexing. Discerning from the 

definition that there is no single, straightforward, or standard fix, 

I desired to garner a stronger perspective on life’s complications 

and find ways, if possible; to eradicate, fix, and/or overcome them, 

and share the information with others.

It’s Complicated: Exploring Life Difficulties and Finding Divine Serendipity 

Chapter 1 

*** 

Life Situations 

“Your downfall is a preparation for your up-rise. 

If you don’t know this secret, you will remain on the floor, 

blaming your legs instead of your head!” 

― Israelmore Ayivor 

Author 

Have you ever met anyone who did not have a 

problem? Complications are common problems, or 

crises that happen to ordinary people living normal 

lives. Sometimes, even when people attempt to do 

right, things seem to go wrong. Universally, people 

face challenges that test the human resolve: 

poverty, illness, abuse, terrorism, and death, are 

just a few. My life has been impacted by its fair 

share of complications. The three most profound 

were: almost losing my sight, losing my mother, and 

suffering a medical trauma. 

(1) As an adolescent, I almost lost vision in my eyes 

because of the action of a drunkard. He threw an empty 

bottle and shattered the side glass of a public 

transportation bus in which I was a passenger. Splinters 

from the shattered glass went into both eyes, with 

13

Marilyn I. James 

larger pieces entering my left eye. It was a horrendous 

experience. How does a child understand to not rub the 

eyes when they felt like gravel had gotten in? It took 

years of ophthalmic treatment and care to remove all 

the splinters and save my sight. 

(2) I was 15 years old when my mother died after a 

prolonged medical battle. Mom and I shared a very close 

relationship. She was a wise woman and great storyteller. 

She was imparting useful information and 

knowledge to me before her demise. As a teenager, I 

truly needed mom, but since I saw her take that last 

breath, I knew she was gone. Within 2 weeks of mom’s 

death my trauma was compounded when I had to accept 

that I would be leaving my siblings, family, and friends 

behind, and move to a new country to live with relatives. 

(3) The year 2008 was progressing well for me. I 

had just attained my 20th year of employment at a 

Military Council providing services and support to US 

Military Chaplaincy personnel, and their families. Then 

things changed. My body was not responding as it 

normally did. I felt weak and could barely walk. I had 

difficulty speaking and eating. Visits to various doctors 

and treatments were not working. One fateful morning 

in April, when I awoke my body was not feeling right. I 

14


asked my husband to accompany me to the emergency 

room. Within 5 minutes of arriving at Georgetown 

Medical Center, I stopped breathing. Hours later, I 

found out that I had suffered a neuromuscular 

autoimmune crisis. I spent 2 months in hospital followed 

by physical rehabilitation. My life was changed. 

Reflecting on those 3 

poignant experiences, I 

realize that God is always 

in control. He surrounded 

me with people to love, comfort, nurture, care, 

protect, and pray for me; and He brought me through 

all difficulties. This confirms what 1 Peter 2:9 says, 

“But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, 

a holy nation, His own special people, that you may 

proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of 

darkness into His marvelous light.” Today, I am more 

cognizant of human mortality and embrace my gift of 

another chance to fulfill the work of my destiny. I 

endeavor to be an inspiration to others by continuing 

various educational, and philanthropic projects, 

nationally and internationally. I also find pleasure in 

authoring books, and writing poetry, songs, and plays 

to share and enlighten others. 

15 

Everyone has a story, and has 

gone through something that 

has changed them.


A Look at Complications 

Some complications are consequences of 

systemic structures, society, environment, 

actions, or circumstances. Below are 10 What ifs 

… scenarios. 

Prominence does not 

exempt a person from life’s 

problems. 

(a) What if, because of your 

stance against organized crime, 

communism, and corrupt union 

officials, you are targeted and 

assassinated like President John F. Kennedy. 

(b) What if, you live in a powerful democratic nation; 

where although unconstitutional, you are systematically 

judged by race, color, creed, and national origin; and you 

are often discriminated against or racially profiled. 

(c) What if, because of your position as a human 

rights activist supporting female education, you are 

targeted and shot by the Taliban as was the case of 

Malala Yousafzai of Pakistan. 

(d) What if, you were indoctrinated to believe you 

are privileged and entitled; so rules for the common man 

do not apply to you. 

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(e) What if, because you chose to do something 

positive with your life, or hold views that differ from 

those considered ‘normal’, you are ostracized, isolated, 

and bullied. 

(f) What if, your position of authority makes you 

feel it is okay to be a predatory sex offender of 

innocent victims. 

(g) What if, you are pre-disposed to inherit an 

illness because of a genetic trait. 

(h) What if, people told you to watch the company 

you were keeping but you disregarded them; only to get 

in trouble by being in the wrong place, with the wrong 

crowd, at the wrong time. 

(i) What if, you ignored warnings about a suitor; only 

to find out that person is a manipulator and abuser. 

(j) What if, clique affiliation and personal 

degradation encourage immorality; now sex, drugs, 

robbery, and murder, are considered normal. 

17


Most challenges are 

unplanned or unforeseen, 

and can affect people 

To expect the unexpected 

shows a thoroughly modern 

intellect. --- Oscar Wilde 

from all facets of life. Impact can be 

psychological, emotional, cultural, social, familial, 

political, or spiritual. Children face hardships when 

families disintegrate because of tragedies, 

separation, or divorce. Change may cause stress as 

minors try to adjust to an orphan life, single 

parenting, strained relationship, changed 

environment, school interruption, or parting from 

friends. Adults face dilemmas like: illness or death 

of a loved one, work or family feuds, dysfunctional 

or estranged relationships, spousal abuse, or 

financial distress. Many prominent people have 

encountered life difficulties before attaining 

success: 

• Franklin D. Roosevelt (FDR) lost use of his legs from 

polio. That did not stop him from being an American 

statesman and political leader who served as the 

32nd President of the United States from 1933 until 

his death in 1945. 

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• Vincent van Gogh is believed to have suffered from 

bipolar disorder. He became a Post-Impressionist 

painter who is among the most famous and 

influential figures in the history of Western art. 

• Helen Keller was deaf and blind at 18 months old. 

She became the first deaf-blind person to earn a 

bachelor of arts degree. She was also an author, 

political activist, and lecturer. 

• Winston Churchill was dyslexic, and suffered 

emotional instability. He became a politician, army 

officer, and writer. He was Prime Minister of the 

United Kingdom from 1940 to 1945 and again from 

1951 to 1955. 

• Oprah Winfrey was abused as a child and ran away 

from home at age 13. Oprah became a famous Talk 

Show Host, Media Mogul, actress, producer, and 

philanthropist. She is ranked the greatest black 

philanthropist in American history. She was the 

richest African American of the 20th century and 

North America's first black multi-billionaire. 

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• Albert Einstein could not get a job in physics for 

two years after graduation. He later developed the 

theory of relativity, one of the two pillars of 

modern physics. His work is also known for its 

influence on the philosophy of science. 

• Frederick Douglass was born into slavery, violence, 

and separation from his parents. He taught himself 

to read. Later he became a social reformer, 

abolitionist, orator, writer, and statesman. 

• Victor Frankl was imprisoned at Nazis 

concentration camps. His wife and family were 

killed. He wrote Man's Search for Meaning, an 

influential and best-selling book, that sold over 10 

million copies at the time of his death in 1997. 

These situations provoke several important 

questions like: Is there a purpose behind 

complications? and the follow-up questions of Who, 

What, When, Where, Why, and How did 

complications start? 

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Chapter 2 

*** 

A Common Consensus 

On Complications 

“Grudges are for those who insist that they are owed something; 

forgiveness, however, is for those who are substantial enough to move on.” 

― Chris Jami 

Author/Creator 

Agreement 

According to a 2017 Pew Research 

demographic analysis, Christians make up thirtyone 

percent (31%) of Earth’s 7.3 billion people. 

Among Christians, there is a common conviction 

that humans’ problems were instigated by Lucifer. 

Christians believe a rift in the heavens between 

God and Lucifer was the beginning of 

complications. Lucifer, once known as the bright 

and morning star projected his intent to be like 

God. Isaiah 14:13-14 reads, “For thou hast said in 

thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt 

my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also 

upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides 

21


of the north: I will ascend above the heights of 

the clouds; I will be like the most High.” 

As a result of his plot against God, Lucifer was 

banished from living in heaven. Isaiah 14:12 says, 

“How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son 

of the morning! how art thou cut down to the 

ground, which didst weaken the nations!” After he 

was banished from heaven, Lucifer became 

corrupt, his name was changed from Lucifer 

(“morning star”) to Satan (“adversary”) and his 

power became completely perverted (Isaiah 

14:12,16,17). 

Lucifer’s resentment towards God after his 

downfall saw him plotting 

Lucifer was jealous of humans 

to garner glory for and their relationship with God. 

himself by seeking to He plotted against them by 

deceiving the woman. 

capture the souls of 

God’s creation by deceit. 

John 10:10 says, “The thief cometh not, but for to 

steal, and to kill, and to destroy…” Satan’s intent 

is to (1) defy God by getting lots of people away 

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from God, (2) hurt God by drawing people to 

himself and away from God, and (3) project that 

he Satan is still powerful. His first victims were 

God’s own creation. 

Adam and Eve 

Adam and Eve were created by God in His own 

image and likeness (Gen 1:26), and placed in the 

Garden of Eden where God had communion with 

them daily. They had a perfect relationship with 

God. 

Lucifer did not like humans’ closeness to God 

and plotted to break the bond. He deceived the 

woman to eat of the fruit from the tree of the 

knowledge of good and evil, and Adam did the 

same. God had commanded them to not eat from 

that tree as stated in Gen 2:16. “ And the LORD 

God commanded the man, saying, of every tree of 

the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the 

tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt 

not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest 

thereof thou shalt surely die.” 

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Broken Bond 

The breaking of the bond caused complications 

between God and humans because God truly loved 

the humans he created, and enjoyed the 

relationship he shared with them. Now God had no 

choice but to banish them from the garden of Eden 

and sanction harsh punishment for their 

transgressions as noted in Gen 3:14-19. 

And the LORD God said unto the serpent, 

“Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed 

above all cattle, and above every beast of the 

field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt 

thou eat all the days of thy life: And I will put 

enmity between thee and the woman, and between 

thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and 

thou shalt bruise his heel. 

” Unto the woman he said, “I will greatly 

multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow 

thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire 

shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over 

thee.” 

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And unto Adam he said, “Because thou hast 

hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast 

eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, 

saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the 

ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it 

all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles 

Therefore, the LORD God sent him 

forth from the garden of Eden, to 

till the ground from whence he 

was taken. 

shall it bring forth to 

thee; and thou shalt eat 

the herb of the field; In 

the sweat of thy face 

shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the 

ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou 

art, and unto dust shalt thou return.” 

Thoughts on Dust 

Biblical scholars believe the “dust” which is 

made up of small particles of earth and mentioned 

as the material from which man was formed is 

symbolic. First, they believe it defines human 

frailty and vulnerability to be easily persuaded; 

and uses Psalms 103:14 as confirmation. "For he 

knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are 

25


dust." Second, they believe it highlights human 

mortality as stated in Genesis 3:19, "Dust thou art, 

and unto dust shalt thou return." It is also 

figuratively used for the grave in Psalms 22:15 and 

Daniel 12:2. 

One farmer takes the symbolism further. He 

says, dust or soil is alive. It is crawling with 

microbes and bugs, which nourish the soil; and help 

cycle nutrients in exchange for plant sugars. It's 

a symbiotic relationship that is the root of life, but 

we don't yet understand it, hence so many 

complications. 

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Chapter 3 

*** 

Scientific Theories 

“The universe doesn’t give you what you ask for with your thoughts 

- it gives you what you demand with your actions.” 

― Steve Maraboli 

American Researcher 

The Scientific community believes 

complications started with the creation of the 

universe. Dr. David Fishman in a Scholarly article, 

The Origin of the Universe, defines some 

theoretical thoughts: 

The Big Bang Theory 

Proponents of the Big Bang which began in the 

early 1900s uphold that, between 13 to 15 billion 

years ago, all the matter and energy in the known 

cosmos was crammed into a tiny, compact point; 

that matter and energy back then were the same 

thing; and it was impossible to distinguish one from 

the other. Adherents of the Big Bang believe that 

this small but incredibly dense point of primitive 

27


matter/energy exploded. Within seconds the 

fireball ejected matter and energy at velocities 

approaching the speed of light. At some later 

time—maybe seconds later, maybe years later— 

energy and matter began to split apart and become 

separate entities. 

All of the different elements in the universe 

today developed from what spewed out of this 

original explosion. Big Bang theorists claim that all 

of the galaxies, stars, and planets still retain the 

Galaxies, stars, 

and planets are 

still exploding. 

explosive motion of the 

moment of creation 

and are moving away 

from each other at great speed. This supposition 

came from an unusual finding about our neighboring 

galaxies. 

In 1929, astronomer Edwin Hubble, working at 

the Mount Wilson Observatory in California, 

announced that all of the galaxies he had observed 

were receding from us, and from each other, at 

speeds of up to several thousand miles per second. 

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To clock the speeds of these galaxies, Hubble 

utilized the Doppler effect and examined the light 

from the galaxies, with a spectroscope; which is a 

device that analyzes the different frequencies 

present in light. He discovered that the light from 

galaxies far off in space was shifted down toward 

the red end of the spectrum. Where in the sky 

each galaxy lay didn't matter—all were redshifted. 

Hubble explained this shift by concluding that the 

galaxies were in motion, whizzing away from Earth. 

The greater the redshift, Hubble assumed, the 

greater the galaxy's speed. 

Big Bang theorists believe that since the Big 

Bang explosion, the universe has been expanding. 

Space itself is expanding. No matter whether you 

are looking from Earth or from an alien planet, 

billions of miles away, all other galaxies are moving 

away from you as space expands. Galaxies farther 

from you move faster away from you, because 

there's more space expanding between you and 

those galaxies. 

29


That's how Big Bang theorists explain why 

light from the more distant galaxies is shifted 

farther to the red 

end of the spectrum. 

In fact, most 

astronomers now use 

NASA's Hubble Space 

Telescope, was launched 

aboard the space shuttle 

Discovery on 4/24/90. 

this rule, known as Hubble's law, to measure the 

distance of an object from Earth—the bigger the 

redshift, the more distant the object. 

In 1965, two scientists discovered a 

phenomenon that solidified the Big Bang theory. 

Arno Penzias and Robert Wilson of Bell Telephone 

Laboratories detected faint microwave radiation 

that came from all points of the sky. They and 

other physicists theorized that they were seeing 

the afterglow from the Big Bang's explosion. 

Since the Big Bang affected the entire 

universe at the same moment in time, the 

afterglow should permeate the entire universe and 

could be detected no matter what direction you 

looked. This afterglow is called the cosmic 

30


background radiation. Its wavelength and 

uniformity fit nicely with other astronomers' 

mathematical calculations about the Big Bang. 

The Steady State Theory 

In the 1940s a competing hypothesis arose, 

called the Steady State theory. British 

astrophysicist Fred Hoyle and others argued that 

the universe was not only uniform in space—an idea 

called the cosmological principle—but also 

unchanging in time, a concept called the perfect 

cosmological principle. 

This theory didn't depend on a specific event 

like the Big Bang. Under the Steady State theory, 

stars and galaxies may change, but on the whole 

the universe has always looked the way it does now, 

and it always will. The Steady State theory fails, 

however, in one important way. If matter is 

continuously created everywhere, then the 

average age of stars in any section of the universe 

should be the same. But astronomers have found 

31


that not to be true. The discovery of quasars has 

put the Steady State theory on unsteady ground. 

The Plasma Universe and Little Bangs Theory 

The Plasma Universe and Little Bangs theory 

does not agree with the Big Bang or the Steady 

State theory. One model designed by Nobel 

laureate Hannes Alfven, a Swedish plasma 

physicist notes that 99 percent of the observable 

universe, including the stars, is made of plasma. 

This theory states that the Big Bang never 

happened, and that the universe is crisscrossed by 

gigantic electric currents and huge magnetic 

fields. Under this view 

The atmosphere 

is charged with 

electric currents. 

the universe has 

existed forever, 

chiefly under the influence of an electromagnetic 

force. Such a universe has no distinct beginning 

and no predictable end. In the Plasma Universe, 

galaxies come together slowly over a much greater 

time span than in the Big Bang theory, perhaps 

taking as long as 100 billion years. 

32


A new group of astronomers is developing a 

steady-state theory that actually conforms to 

astronomical observations. Like its predecessor, 

this steady-state theory proposes a universe with 

no beginning and no end 

with matter continuously 

being created via a 

succession of "Little 

Bangs." 

Galaxies 

in Motion. 

In this new theory, galaxies would form at a 

rate determined by the pace at which the universe 

expands. These theorists can even account for the 

cosmic background radiation: they maintain that 

the microwaves are actually coming from a cloud of 

tiny iron particles—and are not the residual 

effects of some primordial explosion. 

33


In 1998, astronomers ascertained that the 

universe may be accelerating while expanding, as if 

being pulled by an "antigravity" force. Other 

astronomers have since corroborated this finding 

using a variety of methods, and have all but 

confirmed the existence of this mysterious "dark 

energy." 

34


Chapter 4 

*** 

Creationism 

and Theological Perspective 

“Theological formation is the gradual and often painful discovery of God's 

incomprehensibility. You can be competent in many things, 

but you cannot be competent in God.” 

― Henri Nouwen 

Dutch Priest, and Theologian 

Creationism 

In the doctrine of creation, it is believed, God 

is the intelligent designer who created the 

universe and the natural things in it. This belief is 

derived from Genesis 1:1-2:3 which states, God 

created the heavens and the earth, light, water, 

vegetation, animals, then man in the image of 

himself. During the Middle Ages, Thomas Aquinas 

a systematic and influential author of science and 

religion believed the biblical God was not only the 

intelligent designer, but also the first Cause of all 

effects. Aquinas portrayed God as the continuing 

ruler of nature, and the one who gives humanity 

rule over nature. 

35


Galileo Galilei, also known as the father of 

modern science changed Aquinas medieval 

perspective when he combined mathematical 

equations with experimentation to study the 

A geometric and 

military Compass 

of Galileo. 

36 

motion of objects. By 

using science to study 

how things move, and 

seeing scripture as relevant only to man’s salvation, 

Galileo established the separation between science 

and religion that exists today. God’s role was 

gradually downgraded from first Cause with nature 

to a chain of efficient causes. Galileo’s view agreed 

with creationism because he saw God as the 

Designer. 

Pierre Laplace expressed the view of 

epistemological reductionism in which all 

phenomena will be ultimately explained by physical 

laws. Laplace believed nature was a self-sufficient 

and impersonal mechanism. He quoted Newton's 

assertion that, "the wondrous disposition of the 

Sun, the planets and the comets, can only be the


work of an all-powerful and intelligent Being." 

Although this response supported creationism, 

many Movements in the 18th century favored 

scientific opinion and religious skepticism. For 

example, philosophers David Hume and Immanuel 

Kant rejected the idea of God as creator and 

reaffirmed Galileo’s division of science and 

religion. Hume believed that the presence of God 

could not be proved or disproved, while Kant simply 

saw God as a postulate of the moral order. 

Theological Perspective 

Present day theologians like Dr. D.A. Carson, a 

Research Scholar and Professor at Trinity 

Evangelical Divinity School, shares his views. Using 

a question from Francis Schaeffer’s book, Genesis 

in Space and Time he asks, “What is the least that 

we must be certain about, clear about, for the rest 

of the Bible to be coherent and true?” Dr. Carson 

gives several points which he feels must be 

emphasized and that are least negotiable. 

37


(1) God comes first. Before anything else was, 

before there was a universe in the beginning: God was. 

Scriptures show that God in eternity past was not 

dependent upon us. It is not that God needed the 

universe so he wouldn’t be lonely. God in various ways 

show that in the past the Father loved the Son and the 

Son loved the Father. So there was a perfection of love 

in the past. The Bible as a whole insists that God is love, 

because in the one God, miraculously, strangely, God is 

also other. In the oneness of God there is a complexity 

such that God loves the Son, and the Son loves God, even 

in eternity past, and he doesn’t need the universe. 

(2) God speaks. He is a talking God. The first thing 

he does is speak and by his powerful words call the 

universe into existence. Now that becomes paradigmatic 

of God disclosing himself in word. Right through the 

whole Bible God is a talking God, and he dares to speak 

in words that human beings can understand. 

(3) God made everything. That is against pantheism, 

in which everything in the universe is God, but God is not 

everything in the universe. That is, there is a little bit 

of God left over besides everything that is made that is 

in the universe. But there is a distinction between God, 

38


who exists before everything in the universe, and the 

created order. It is against any sort of ontological 

dualism, that is, a kind of dualism in which there is a good 

force and a bad force, or one force with a good side and 

the bad side. 

(4) There is one God who is good, and he made 

everything good. And so the origin of evil is not 

intrinsically a good principle and a bad principle that are 

in competition. Even when the serpent is introduced, he 

is introduced as the subtlest of the creatures that God 

made. And thus, there never is any hint of dualism or 

anything of that sort. There is one sovereign God over 

the whole. That raises the question. How does God stand 

behind good and evil? On the long haul the Bible lays a 

lot of emphasis on God standing behind good and evil 

asymmetrically. That is, he stands behind good and evil 

in different ways. He stands behind good in such a way 

that the good is always creditable to him and the evil is 

always creditable to secondary causalities, like the 

serpent, even though it can’t sweep away God’s 

sovereignty. 

39


(5) The necessity for the doctrine of grace is 

established by the storyline in the doctrine of creation. 

God made everything good. And that means, in the fifth 

place, that human beings are accountable to God. The 

grounding of our accountability to God is the doctrine of 

creation. It becomes the source of believer’s praise 

(Psalm 33; Revelation 4). Praise God because we are 

made by him and for him — and are accountable to him. 

It is right, good, and sensible. 

(6) There are hints of God’s complexity in the 

expression, “Let us make man in our image,” (Genesis 

1:26). Some people have tried to understand that to be 

a royal “we,” but there is no real hint of that in the 

context. There is an adumbration that God is not simply 

oneish. He is one God. And yet there is in God complexity 

such as there is also other. These are teased out in an 

incipient way in the Old Testament and very clear in the 

New Testament when you find a passage like John 5. “In 

the beginning, was the Word, and the Word was with 

God,” (God’s own fellow), “and the Word was God,” (God’s 

own self) (John 1:1). 

40


(7) Human beings are introduced as made in the 

image of God. That becomes a major theme that runs 

right through the entire Scripture. God makes human 

beings in his own image and likeness so that in some ways 

they are very much like the rest of creation — made by 

God out of the dust. And in other ways they are unique 

and it would be well worth our while to tease out some 

of the things that are bound up with this notion of the 

image of God. On the one hand, as God’s creation, we are 

supposed to reflect God. We are his image. On the other 

hand, we too belong to the dust. We are made from the 

dust. We are part of the created order and not to be 

confused with God. So this sort of created order is 

extraordinarily important. 

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Notes: 

42


Chapter 5 

*** 

Bible Situations 

“One of the basic rules of the universe is that nothing is perfect. 

Perfection simply doesn't exist.... Without imperfection, 

neither you nor I would exist” 

― Stephen Hawking 

Physicist 

The bible contains accounts of diverse 

complicated situations that leave many people 

astounded with responses like, “Say what?” Here 

are a few: 

(1) Sibling Rivalry – Cain and Abel were 

brothers. Abel brought the best portions of the 

firstborn of his flock to the Lord. Cain brought an 

offering of the fruit of the ground to the Lord. 

The complication was that both men brought 

offerings but the Lord respected Abel and his 

offering, but He did not respect Cain and his 

offering. Cain grew angry and jealous of his 

43


brother Abel. He thought it was a good solution to 

get rid of his competition, so he killed Abel. 

(2) Adultery - King David loved Bathsheba. The 

complication was that Bathsheba was another 

man’s wife. David 

committed 

adultery 

with Bathsheba and 

got her pregnant. To hide his sin, King David had 

Uriah, Bathsheba’s husband placed in front of 

battle so he would be killed. That did not please 

God, so the son born out of that relationship died. 

Years later, King David’s third son Absalom became 

angry and rejected his father’s rule. Absalom 

thought he was the better man because of King 

David immorality. But, despite David’s faults, God 

chose to continue the line of the Messiah through 

David rather than through Absalom. 

And David sent and enquired after the 

woman. And one said, Is not this 

Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the 

wife of Uriah the Hittite? 2 Sam 11:3 

44


(3) Stolen Birthright – Jacob tricked his 

brother Esau into selling his birthright for a bowl 

of soup. Then orchestrated by his mother, Jacob 

used disguise to get his father Isaac’s blessings. 

Jacob said, “Sell me your birthright 

now.” Esau said, “I am about to die; of 

what use is a birthright to me? 

The complication was 

that Esau was the 

rightful heir to the 

blessing but lost that place when he traded it with 

his brother and did not tell his father about the 

deal. When Esau found out what Jacob had done 

he plotted to kill him after mourning his father’s 

death. Jacob had to go hide out with his uncle 

Laban in Haran. It took 22 years before the 

brothers would meet again. 

(4) Murder – It became complicated when 

Moses the Jew, who was raised by an Egyptian 

King, had to kill an Egyptian slave master to save a 

fellow Jew from abuse. He was forced to flee to 

Midian from where God later called Moses to 

return to Egypt and take a stand against Pharaoh 

to free the people of Israel out of slavery. 

45


(5) Waywardness – The younger of two 

brothers asked his father for his share of the 

estate, then he left home. The older son meanwhile 

stayed with the 

father and did all the 

work. The younger son 

wasted all his money, 

fell into hard times, took a job feeding pigs; yet 

was still hungry. He then realized his father’s 

hired servants were better off than he was, with 

food to spare, so he decided to return home and 

apologize for his actions. 

I thought 

I knew what 

was best, and 

lost my way. 

Upon returning home the father received the 

younger son with open arms, gave him clothes, and 

held a feast for him. Things got complicated when 

the older son heard what was happening. The 

father had to explain to the older son that since 

he was always with him, everything the father 

possessed was his; but it was important to 

celebrate and be glad, because the younger 

46


brother who was considered dead, is alive again. He 

was lost but was now found. 

(6) Gifted Pregnancy – Mary, the Jewish, 

peasant girl from Nazareth, got news that she was 

pregnant with child. Major complications arose 

“Hail, thou that art highly favored, 

the Lord is with thee: blessed art 

thou among women.” 

because Joseph her 

fiancé was not the 

father. 

Joseph had to put all faith in the words of an 

angel of the Lord that appeared to him in a dream 

and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to 

take Mary as your wife; for that which has been 

conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. And she will 

bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for 

it is He who will save His people from their sins.” 

Matt. 1:20, 21. Through Mary’s and Joseph’s 

obedience, Jesus came into the world to save 

humans from sin. 

47


Notes: 

48


Chapter 6 

*** 

Purpose of Bible Stories 

“God is preparing His heroes. And when the opportunity comes, 

He can fit them into their places in a moment. 

And the world will wonder where they came from.” 

― A.B. Simpson 

Theologian 

The question is often asked, “Why are 

unpleasant and complicated stories included in 

Scripture, and why are the people involved, 

sometimes people who hurt others, including their 

own family members granted the privilege of being 

included in the Messianic line?” 

One hypothesis is, they are recorded to show 

us that God’s purpose is accomplished despite 

man’s unrighteousness. Also, despite obvious 

shortcomings these people had faith in God. They 

were willing and able to exercise belief in an 

outcome whether they could see, feel or touch it 

and their faith was credited to them as 

49


righteousness (Genesis 15:6). A list of such people 

who are commended for their faith is given in 

Hebrews 11. 

By faith Abel offered to God a more excellent 

sacrifice than Cain, through which he obtained 

witness that he was righteous, God testifying of his 

gifts; and through it he being dead still speaks. 

By faith Enoch was taken away so that he did 

not see death, “and was not found, because God had 

taken him”; for before he was taken he had this 

testimony, that he pleased God. But without faith it 

is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God 

must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder 

of those who diligently seek Him. 

By faith Noah, being divinely warned of things 

not yet seen, moved with godly fear, prepared an ark 

for the saving of his household, by which he 

condemned the world and became heir of the 

righteousness which is according to faith. 

By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to 

go out to the place which he would receive as an 

inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he 

was going. By faith he dwelt in the land of promise 

50


as in a foreign country, dwelling in tents with Isaac 

and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same 

promise for he waited for the city which has 

foundations, whose builder and maker is God. 

By faith Sarah herself also received strength 

to conceive seed, and she bore a child when she was 

past the age, because she judged Him faithful who 

had promised. Therefore, from one man, and him as 

good as dead, were born as many as the stars of the 

sky in multitude—innumerable as the sand which is 

by the seashore. 

By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered 

up Isaac, and he who had received the promises 

offered up his only begotten son, of whom it was 

said, “In Isaac your seed shall be called,” concluding 

that God was able to raise him up, even from the 

dead, from which he also received him in a figurative 

sense. 

By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau 

concerning things to come. 

By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed 

each of the sons of Joseph, and worshiped, leaning 

on the top of his staff. 

51


By faith Joseph, when he was dying, made 

mention of the departure of the children of Israel, 

and gave instructions concerning his bones. 

By faith Moses, when he was born, was hidden 

three months by his parents, because they saw he 

was a beautiful child; and they were not afraid of 

the king’s command. 

By faith Moses, when he became of age, 

refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, 

choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people 

of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin, 

esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches 

than the treasures in Egypt; for he looked to the 

reward. 

By faith he forsook Egypt, not fearing the 

wrath of the king; for he endured as seeing Him who 

is invisible. By faith he kept the Passover and the 

sprinkling of blood, lest he who destroyed the 

firstborn should touch them. 

By faith they passed through the Red Sea as 

by dry land, whereas the Egyptians, attempting to 

do so, were drowned. 

52


By faith the walls of Jericho fell down after 

they were encircled for seven days. By faith the 

harlot Rahab did not perish with those who did not 

believe, when she had received the spies with peace. 

By faith Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, also 

David, Samuel, and the prophets subdued kingdoms, 

worked righteousness, obtained promises, stopped 

the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, 

escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness 

were made strong, became valiant in battle, turned 

to fight the armies of the aliens. Women received 

their dead raised to life again. 

(By faith) Others were tortured, not accepting 

deliverance, that they might obtain a better 

resurrection. Still others had trial of mockings and 

scourgings, yes, and of chains and imprisonment. 

They were stoned, they were sawn in two, were 

tempted, were slain with the sword. They wandered 

about in sheepskins and goatskins, being destitute, 

afflicted, and tormented--of whom the world was 

not worthy. They wandered in deserts and 

mountains, in dens and caves of the earth. 

53


And all these, having obtained a good testimony 

through faith, did not receive the promise, God 

having provided something better for us, that they 

should not be made perfect apart from us. 

Dealing with complications can result in both 

negative and positive “Nothing worthwhile is ever 

without complications.” 

outcomes. Some negative 

― Nora Roberts 

outcomes of life’s 

problems are incarceration, illiteracy, illness, 

addiction, depression, unemployment, 

homelessness, death. Positive outcomes include: 

freedom, education, health, sobriety, sanity, 

employment, housing, life. 

Handling life’s difficulties can leave people 

desperate, and asking: How and why did they get 

into their situation? Where should they seek help? 

And, how should they deal with the psychological 

and emotional roller coasters? 

54


Chapter 7 

*** 

Dealing with 

Negative and Positive Emotions 

“With the right mindset, you can turn a painful downfall 

into a setup for a great success story.” 

― Edmond Mbiaka 

Self-Help Writer 

Psychotherapists believe people experience 

both positive and negative emotions. They also feel 

that negative emotions are key to people‛s wellbeing, 

so a crucial goal of therapy is for clients to 

learn to acknowledge and express a full range of 

emotions. Psychologist Jonathan M. Adler of the 

Franklin W. Olin College of Engineering says, 

“Acknowledging the complexity of life may be an 

especially fruitful path to our psychological wellbeing.” 

He says, “Anger and sadness are important 

parts of life, and new research shows that 

experiencing and accepting such emotions are vital 

55


to our mental health. Attempting to suppress 

thoughts can backfire and even diminish our sense 

of contentment.” Adler points out that negative 

emotions aid in human survival. Bad feelings can be 

vital clues that a health issue, relationship, or 

other important matter need attention. The 

Don’t hold back. Let your true feelings 

show especially if you are angry or 

sad. 

survival value of 

negative thoughts and 

emotions may help 

explain why suppressing them is so fruitless. 

Suppressing thoughts and feelings can even be 

harmful. Psychological health is having the ability 

to think, express, and behave appropriately in 

relation to our emotions. 

Studies have found that many alcoholics and 

addicts abuse substances to alleviate the 

discomfort of various emotions. For instance, if a 

person is shy or has low self-esteem he/she might 

drink a lot more in a social setting in order to feel 

comfortable. In a 2012 study, psychotherapist 

Eric L. Garland of Florida State University and his 

associates, measured a stress response based on 

56


heart rate in 58 adults in treatment for alcohol 

dependence while exposing them to alcohol-related 

cues. Subjects also completed a measure of their 

tendency to suppress thoughts. The researchers 

found that those who restrained their thinking 

more often had stronger stress responses to the 

cues than did those who suppressed their thoughts 

less frequently. 

Positive emotions are promoted in concepts 

associated with positive human functioning. The 

Hedonic and Eudaimonic theories are two concepts 

explored. Hedonic theorists support the idea that 

human behavior is motivated by the pursuit of 

pleasure and the avoidance of pain or displeasure. 

Philosopher Aristippus founder of the Cyrenaic 

School of Philosophy, taught that the goal of life 

was to seek pleasure by circumstances to oneself 

and by maintaining proper control over both 

adversity and prosperity. His early philosophical 

hedonism has been followed by others including, 

Thomas Hobbes who argued that happiness lies in 

the successful pursuit of our human appetites, and 

57


Marquis de Sade who believed that pursuit of 

sensation and pleasure is the ultimate goal of life. 

Practical philosophers such as Jeremy 

Bentham argued that it is through individuals’ 

attempting to 

“Adopting the right attitude can 

convert a negative stress into a 

maximize pleasure and 

positive one.” -- Hans Selye self-interest that the 

good society is built. 

Hedonism, as a view of well-being, has been 

expressed in many forms and has varied from a 

relatively narrow focus on bodily pleasures to a 

broad focus on appetites and self-interests. 

Unlike the Hedonic view, the Eudaimonic 

theory emphasizes a sense of meaning, personal 

growth, and understanding of the self. Aristotle, 

originator of the concept of eudaimonia deemed 

happiness to be a vulgar idea, stressing that not all 

desires are worth pursuing, for even though some 

of them may yield pleasure, they would not produce 

wellness. Aristotle thought that true happiness is 

found by leading a virtuous life and doing what is 

58


worth doing. He argued that realizing human 

potential is the ultimate human goal. This idea was 

further developed by prominent thinkers, such as 

Stoics, who stressed the value of self-control and 

fortitude as a means of overcoming destructive 

emotions, and John Locke, who argued that 

happiness is pursued through prudence. 

Cornell University psychologist Anthony Ong 

et al, in a 2006 study assessed that optimistic 

people tend to be physically healthier than others 

and they may also live longer. These findings based 

on correlational studies, examined statistical 

associations between 

positive thinking and 

life outcomes. 

Choose to be optimistic. 

It feels better. 

Thinking positively might make us healthier, 

but being healthier may instead lead us to think 

positively. Gabriele Oettingen, author of 

Rethinking Positive Thinking: Inside the New 

Science of Motivation (October 2014), encourages 

people to fantasize about their goals, including the 

59


fame or fortune they might collect upon achieving 

them, and then consider all the problems they 

could encounter. She says, “The solution isn’t to do 

away with dreaming and positive thinking, rather, 

it’s making the most of our fantasies by brushing 

them up against the very thing most of us are 

taught to ignore or diminish: the obstacles that 

stand in our way.” 

Positive thinking encourages us to take needed 

risks and expand our horizons. Many athletes 

swear by positive thinking: They say, if you 

visualize yourself dunking the winning basket, then 

you are more likely to actually do it come game 

time. Plenty of studies bear that out with 

anecdotal evidence, in business and interpersonal 

relationships as well as in sports. 

… An optimist sees an opportunity 

in every difficulty. 

-- Winston Churchill 

60


Positive thinking may not be for everyone, 

especially those for whom worrying and 

complaining come naturally as coping mechanisms. 

It may also be counterproductive if it leads us to 

carelessly ignore life’s dangers. (Can Positive 

Thinking Be Negative?” by Scott O. Lilienfeld and 

Hal Arkowitz; Scientific American Mind, 

May/June 2011). 

61


Notes: 

62


Chapter 8 

*** 

The Cocoon Effect 

“There is no greater agony 

than bearing an untold story inside of you!” 

― Maya Angelou 

Poet 

It is believed that during difficulties, humans 

tend to retreat into a cocoon-like state. A Cocoon 

is defined as something that envelops or 

surrounds, especially in a protective or comforting 

way. Some insects go through a cocoon cycle which 

is a complete metamorphosis or transformation 

that happens within a chrysalis. 

The transformation cycle varies by species, 

and can be completed within two weeks or 

extended to several months. Insect larvae spin silk 

coverings for the chrysalis. These silk casings 

called cocoons can be soft, hard, solid, or web-like; 

and of different colors, or sometimes see-through. 

Cocoons provide camouflage and additional 

protection for the chrysalis. During its cycle the 

63


caterpillar experiences a metamorphosis from 

caterpillar into a butterfly. This occurs during the 

pupa stage when the caterpillar's old body dies and 

a new body forms inside the chrysalis. 

The cocoon stage is not a resting place, 

because for transformation to occur while in the 

chrysalis the old caterpillar’s body is broken down 

and turned into 

Transformation from the inside out. 

something new. Inside 

a chrysalis, the 

caterpillar's body 

digests itself from 

the inside out. The 

same juices it used to digest food as a larva is used 

to break down its own body. The fluid breaks down 

the old caterpillar body into cells called imaginal or 

un-differentiated cells, which means they can 

become any type of cell. Many of these imaginal 

cells are used to form the new body. 

Insects that spin cocoons must eventually 

escape from them to complete their 

transformation. Some escape by cutting their way 

64


out from the inside. Others may secrete fluids 

that soften the cocoon and make it easier to 

escape. To the butterfly, the exit is something of 

wonder, beauty, and freedom. 

Sociologist, Dr. Martha Beck in Growing 

Wings: The Power of Change (January 2003) 

explains that all of us will experience 

transformation several times during our lives, 

exchanging one identity for another. Changes from 

baby to child, to adolescent, to adult are usually 

obvious, well-recognized stages in the life cycle. 

But after we are all grown up, our identity isn't 

fixed. We may change marital status, become a 

parent, switch careers, get sick, or win the lottery. 

Any transition serious enough to alter our 

definition of self will require not just small 

Change is inevitable. 

Expect and embrace them. 

adjustments in our way 

of living and thinking 

but a full-on 

metamorphosis. The change may not be physical 

but psychological and this can sometimes prove 

65


emotionally stressful. Dr. Beck further states that 

there are four phases of human transformation 

which usually occur in order, after any major 

change catalyst. 

Phase 1: Dissolving 

This first phase of change is the scariest, especially 

because we are not taught to expect it. It's the time 

when we lose our identity and are left temporarily 

formless (person soup). Most people fight like crazy to 

keep their identities from dissolving. "This is just a 

blip," we tell ourselves when circumstances rock our 

world. "I'm the same person, and my life will go back to 

being the way it was." Sometimes this is true. But in 

other cases, when real transformation has begun, we run 

into a welter of "dissolving" experiences. We may feel 

that everything is falling apart, that we're losing 

everyone and everything. Dissolving feels like death, 

because it is—it's the demise of the person you have 

been. 

Phase 2: Imagining 

For those of us who have just a few tiny control 

issues, Phase 2 is as welcome as rain after drought. This 

is when the part of you that knows your destiny, the 

66


imago in your psyche, will begin giving you instructions 

about how to reorganize the remnants of your old 

identity into something altogether different. The 

word imago is the root of the word image. You'll know 

you are beginning Phase 2 when your mind's eye starts 

seeing images of the life you are about to create. These 

can't be forced—like dissolving, they happen to you—and 

they are never what you expected. You are becoming a 

new person, and you'll develop traits and interests your 

old self didn't have. You may feel compelled to change 

your hairstyle or wardrobe, or redecorate your living 

space. The old order simply seems wrong, and you'll 

begin reordering your outer situation to reflect your 

inner rebirth. 

Phase 3: Re-forming 

As your dreams become schemes, you'll begin 

itching to make them come true. This signals Phase 3, 

the implementation stage of the change process. Phase 

3 is when you stop fantasizing about selling your art and 

start submitting work to galleries, or go beyond ogling a 

friend's brother to having her set you up on a date. 

You'll feel motivated to do real, physical things to build 

a new life. And then...., you'll fail. Repeatedly. 

67


Dr. Beck states that people sometimes go 

through Phase 3 many times. It is important to 

remember you do not always succeed on the first 

try. Re-forming one’s life, like anything new, 

complex, and important, inevitably brings up 

problems you didn't expect. That's why, in 

contrast to the starry eyes that are so useful in 

Phase 2, Phase 3 demands the ingenuity of Thomas 

Edison and the tenacity of a pit bull. 

Phase 4: Flying 

Phase 3 is like crawling out of your cocoon and 

waiting for your crumpled, soggy wings to dry and 

expand. Phase 4 is the payoff, the time when your new 

identity is fully formed 

and you are able to fly. 

Sometimes we go through the 

worst to get to the best. 

The bible in Galatians 2:20 seems to endorse 

this human transformation cycle. It says, “I am 

crucified with Christ: nevertheless, I live; yet not 

I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now 

live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of 

68


God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” God 

being the potter, takes human (the clay); and 

works on it from the inside out during the cocoon 

stage. He takes you just as you are and refines you 

into what he wants you to be. When God is finished 

working on humans we become new as quoted in 2 

Corinthians 5:17: “Therefore if any man be in 

Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed 

away; behold, all things are become new.” 

This resulting transformative (butterfly) 

stage is where humans 

show forth the beauty 

gained by the 

transformation. Psalms 

With complete 

transformation, a 

new journey begins. 

139:13-15 states, “You formed my inmost being; 

You knit me in my mother's womb. …my bones were 

not hidden from You, when I was being made in 

secret, fashioned as in the depths of the earth.” 

And John 1:3 states, “All things came to be 

through Him, and without Him nothing came to be.” 

69


We are nothing without God! He forms us and 

makes us. If all humans are made by God’s hand, 

then not one of us, regardless of timing, 

circumstance, or situation, is a “mistake.” So how 

do we process the difficulties we encounter. 

70


Chapter 9 

*** 

Processing 

Life’s Difficulties 

Life isn't logical or sensible or orderly. 

Life is a mess most of the time. 

And theology must be lived in the midst of that mess. 

― Charles Caleb Colton 

English Cleric and Writer 

Realistically, no one has full control over every 

difficult situation. What we do have is control over 

our reaction. We get to choose how to respond to 

the struggle. This is a powerful and important 

differentiator because it gives each one of us a 

sense of ownership and autonomy, and fits well 

with what Albert Einstein said, “In the middle of 

difficulty lies opportunity.” 

With a Webster’s definition of complication 

being intricate with many inter-connecting parts 

or elements; it suggests that while strategies of 

positive thinking, setting goals, developing 

71


resilience, and taking advantage of opportunities, 

may assist; there is no one-size fits all remedy for 

handling complicated situations. What might work 

for one person may not work for another. 

Ultimately, our ability to overcome is to learn 

how to psychologically maneuver through the 

intricacies of our situations. The ability to 

We can only know how strong we are overcome challenges 

when we strive and thrive beyond the 

needs to be worked 

challenges we face.”― Kemi Sogunle 

out, and is the tool 

that will give us confidence to face any adverse 

situation life throws our way. 

Sociologist, Dr. Martha Beck says the best way 

to minimize trauma is to understand the process. 

She provides strategies for dealing with life 

changes based on the four phases of human 

transformation mentioned in Chapter 8. 

72


Phase 1: 

Strategies for dealing with Dissolving 

During this phase learn to Live One Day (or 10 

minutes) at a Time. Instead of dwelling on hopes and 

fears about an unknowable future, focus your attention 

on whatever is happening right now. 

"Cocoon" by Caring for Yourself in Physical, 

Immediate Ways. Wrap yourself in a blanket, make 

yourself a cup of hot tea, attend an exercise class, do 

whatever feels comforting. 

Talk to Others Who Have Gone Through a 

Metamorphosis. If you don't have a wise relative or 

friend, a therapist can be a source of reassurance. 

Let Yourself Grieve. Even if you are leaving an 

unpleasant situation (a bad marriage, a job you didn't 

like), you'll probably go through the normal human 

response to any loss: the emotional roller coaster 

called the grieving process. You'll cycle through denial, 

anger, sadness, and acceptance many times. 

Just experiencing these feelings will help them 

pass more quickly. 

73


If you think this sounds frustratingly passive, you 

are right. Dissolving isn't something you do; it's 

something that happens to you. The closest you'll come 

to controlling it is relaxing and trusting the process. 

Phase 2: 

Strategies for dealing with Imagining 

Cut Out Magazine Pictures You Find Appealing or 

Interesting. Glue them onto a piece of butcher paper. 

The resulting collage will be an illustration of the life 

you're trying to create. 

Let Yourself Day Dream. Your job is to try out 

imaginary scenarios until you have a clear picture of 

your goals and desires. You'll save a lot of time, effort, 

and grief by giving yourself time to do this in your head 

before you attempt it in the real world. 

Phase 2 is all about images: making them up, making 

them clear, making them possible. Moving through this 

stage, you'll start to feel an impulse to go from 

dreaming (imagining possibilities) to scheming (planning 

to bring your vision to fruition). Write down both 

dreams and schemes, then gather information about 

how you might create them. 

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Phase 3: 

Strategies for dealing with Re-forming 

Expect Things to Go Wrong. Many people have an 

early failure and consider this a sign that "it just 

wasn't meant to be." This is a useful philosophy if you 

want to spend your life as person soup. To become all 

that you can be, you must keep working toward your 

dreams even when your initial efforts are unsuccessful. 

Be Willing to Start Over. Every time your plans 

fail, you'll briefly return to Phase 1, feeling lost and 

confused. This is an opportunity to release some of the 

illusions that created hitches in your plan. 

Revisit Phase 2. Adjusting your dreams and 

schemes to include the truths you've learned from your 

experimentation. 

Persist. Keep debugging and re-implementing your 

new-and-improved plans until they work. If you've 

followed all the steps above, they eventually will. 

75


Phase 4: 

Strategies for dealing with Flying 

Enjoy! You've just negotiated a scary and dramatic 

transformation, and you deserve to savor your new 

identity. Spend time every day focusing on gratitude 

for your success. 

Make Small Improvements. Find little ways to 

make your new life a bit less stressful, a bit more 

pleasurable. 

Know That Another Change is Just Around the 

Bend. There's no way to predict how long you'll stay in 

Phase 4; maybe days, maybe decades. Don't attribute 

your happiness to your new identity; security lies in 

knowing how to deal with metamorphosis, whenever it 

occurs. 

Dr. Beck provides wonderful explanations for us to 

gauge a better understanding of what is occurring and 

how to handle difficult situations. But maybe other 

things are occurring that supersede common 

understanding. 

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Chapter 10 

*** 

Divine Serendipity 

Everything in life and the universe is interconnected, 

But some components are yet to be revealed. 


Educator and Author 

For centuries philosophers have queried, how 

do we know our experiences are real? You may be 

pondering; why does this question arise at all? It 

seems self-evident that the physical world is real 

and does exist; but there are numerous 

contradictions that have baffled minds over time. 

So, is doubt attributing to humans’ difficulty in 

resolving complicated issues? Soren Kierkegaard 

Danish philosopher and theologian, believes, “Life 

is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be 

experienced.” 

77


But maybe Ecclesiastes 3:11 defines the 

contention best. It says, “He has made everything 

beautiful in its time. Also, He has put eternity in their 

hearts, except no one can find out the work that God 

does from beginning to end.” 

The bible is filled with accounts of miraculous 

events like, The Israelites crossing the Red Sea, 

Joshua stopping the Sun for battle, Balaam and his 

talking donkey, 3 Hebrew boys surviving a fiery 

furnace, Daniel is safe in the lion’s den, Blind 

Batimaeus regaining sight, a woman with an issue 

of blood healed, a demon-possessed man is set 

free, Jesus feeds 5,000 people with 5 loaves and 

2 fishes, Jesus walks on water, Jesus 

Resurrection. Miracles are still occurring today. 

Sometimes during our most difficult struggles 

and perhaps when we are not in full synergy with 

the supreme being, God allows serendipitous 

miracles to occur to remind us who is in charge. 

How many times have you heard or read of people 

experiencing phenomenal outcomes that baffle the 

78


human mind? Some refer to such occurrences as 

luck. I choose to refer to these outcomes as 

Supernatural or divine intervention. For example: 

• Someone awakes from a lengthy coma with 

increased cognitive skills and abilities, and new 

talents. 

• Someone is miraculously healed from a disease 

that scientifically was impossible, and leaves 

the medical profession dumfounded. 

• Someone is pulled from a stalled vehicle on a 

railroad track by a stranger yet to be found, 

just before a train plows into the vehicle. 

• Someone walks away as the sole survivor of a 

plane crash where everyone else perishes. 

• Someone survives for several weeks, buried by 

tons of debris from an earthquake, before 

rescue arrives. 

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• Someone gets a visit from a childhood friend 

not seen in years. The friend brings a care 

packet and some much needed cash in the nick 

of time; when the cupboard was bare and there 

was no money for childcare. 

Affirming these types of serendipitous 

phenomena were words spoken by Former US 

Ambassador, Rev. Andrew J. Young Jr during a 

Friendship Sunday Service presentation titled, 

“How We Got Over.” His sermon highlighted the 

hand of God at work during the 1950s-1960s Civil 

Rights Movement that brought about change from 

racism and economic exploitation for the African 

American population. 

Rev. Young reminisced about the many toils and 

tears of the ancestors; those that were 

deliberately beaten, burned, jailed, and murdered; 

but said that through the numerous storms of life, 

God had everything under control so they needed 

not worry; which holds true today no matter the 

struggle. He quoted Isaiah 41:31 “But they that 

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wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; 

they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall 

run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not 

faint.” 

Rev. Young, expressed that during his Civil 

Rights Movement journey, he learned the 

importance of understanding the Power of the 

Spirit. He explained that the wisdom of the Gospel 

is key to the Spirit. When we understand the value 

of spiritual power, and open our hearts and avail 

ourselves to the Spirit, miracles will happen. Rev. 

Young believes Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr had such 

an understanding which was relevant for his 

important, non-violent role, during the Civil Rights 

Movement. 

Dr. King a Baptist minister and social activist 

led the Civil Rights Movement in the United States 

from the mid-1950s until his death by 

assassination in 1968. His leadership and ability to 

orchestrate peaceful marches, dialog with 

Presidents and legislators, and rally black people to 

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come out and vote were fundamental to that 

movement’s success in ending the legal segregation 

and discrimination of African Americans in the 

South and other parts of the United States. Dr. 

King rose to national prominence as head of the 

Southern Christian Leadership Conference, which 

promoted non-violent tactics, such as the massive 

March on Washington in 1963, to achieve civil 

rights. He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 

1964. 

Belief of moving by the Spirit was further 

reinforced during Rev. Young’s years of 

congressional and diplomatic services. In Congress, 

he was a member of the influential Rules 

Committee and the Banking and Urban 

Development Committee. He helped enact 

legislation that established the U.S. Institute for 

Peace, recognized the Chattahoochee River 

National Recreation Area and negotiated federal 

funds for Metropolitan Atlanta Rapid Transit 

Authority (MARTA), and the Atlanta Highways. As 

a member of the Congressional Black Caucus, he 

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was involved in several debates regarding foreign 

relations, including the decision to discontinue 

supporting the Portuguese attempts to hold on to 

their South African colonies. 

Being the first African American appointed 

U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations by 

President Jimmy Carter in 1977, Rev. Young 

navigated focus on protection of human rights and 

economic advancement in underdeveloped 

countries as objectives of U.S foreign policy. In 

1979, Rev Ambassador Young played a leading role 

in advancing a settlement in Rhodesia with Robert 

Mugabe and Joshua Nkomo, who had been two of 

the military leaders in the Rhodesian Bush War, 

which ended in 1979. 

The settlement paved the way for Mugabe to 

take power as Prime Minister of the newly formed 

Republic of Zimbabwe. Ambassador Young vacated 

his position as Ambassador in 1979 and in 1981, 

President Jimmy Carter awarded Rev. Andrew 

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Young Jr the Presidential Medal of Freedom, 

America's highest civilian award. 

During his sermon, Rev Young reiterated the 

need to count our blessings. He said, because God 

is a promise keeper, many storms of life, and 

complicated situations are already resolved; we 

just need to see that and be thankful. He said, for 

example, we have more money, opportunities, and 

creative abilities today than ever before. God has 

given us the victory and although we do not know 

what the future holds, we sure know who holds the 

future. 

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Chapter 11 

*** 

Ways to Overcome 

Life’s Difficulties 

When we do the best that we can, 

We never know what miracle is wrought, 

In our life, or in the life of another. 

― Helen Keller 

Author, Political Activist, Lecturer 

Everyone will experience difficulties at some 

point in life. 1 Peter 4:12-13 confirms this by 

stating, “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the 

fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange 

thing happened unto you: but rejoice, inasmuch as ye are 

partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory 

shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding 

joy”. The Apostle Paul regarded his “tests” as 

opportunities to grow spiritually. He says in 2 

Corinthians 12:9, “… Most gladly therefore will I 

rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ 

may rest upon me.” 

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Maneuvering through life’s difficulties, is when 

we most need help. Words from Bill Withers song, 

Lean on Me, says: 

Sometimes in our lives 

We all have pain, we all have sorrow 

But if we are wise 

We know that there's always tomorrow 

Lean on me, when you're not strong, 

And I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on 

For it won't be long, 'Til I'm gonna need 

Somebody to lean on 

It is welcoming to have a village of support 

from family, friends, and community when facing 

problems, but based on personal experiences and 

research, I am convinced the best help comes from 

a divine and higher authority – the God who 

created and designed our destiny. “ For we are His 

workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good 

works, which God prepared beforehand that we 

should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10. 

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During life’s struggles we must remember that 

God is the answer. God in his mercy crushed 

Satan’s stronghold over humans because of their 

sin against God by sending Jesus. “For sin is the 

sting that results in death, and the law gives sin its 

power. But thank God! He gives us victory over sin 

and death through our Lord Jesus Christ.” Jesus 

conquered death to redeem humans and give them 

a chance to inherit God’s promises.” 1 Corinthians 

15:55-57. 

The many problems and difficulties people will 

endure, as defined by Institute in Basic Life 

Principles, will come in various forms and include: 

• Fiery trials: intense encounters or struggles; 

bursts of anger, grief, or lust 

• Infirmities: physical limitations and illnesses 

• Reproaches: ridicule and rejection on account of 

faith or holiness 

• Persecutions: harassment and oppression due to 

religious convictions 

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• Necessities: wear and care of daily 

responsibilities 

• Distresses: disappointments and deep hurts 

• Tribulations: unusual pressures and challenges 

• Temptations: opportunities to yield to our sinful 

nature 

Norman Vincent Peale Minister and Author of 

the book, The Power of Positive Thinking offers 

the following spiritual tips and Bible verses to help 

us overcome obstacles: 

1. Welcome Criticism 

Behold, happy is the man whom God correcteth: 

therefore despise not thou the chastening of the 

Almighty: For He maketh sore, and bindeth up: He 

woundeth, and His hands make whole. (Job 5:17, 

18.) God is trying to make grownups of us. The 

father who truly loves his son will not refrain from 

criticism or punishment when that is necessary to 

make a child stronger and wiser. So when 

difficulties come, even painful ones, humbly receive 

them as a sign of God’s deep favor. And remember 

if we are wounded, He binds up and heals. 

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2. Take A Stand For Christ 

Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of Me 

and of My words in this adulterous and sinful 

generation; of him also shall the Son of man be 

ashamed, when He cometh in the glory of His 

Father with the holy angels. (Mark 8:38.) 

This Bible challenge is sharply directed to those 

who, while committed to Christ at least partially, 

try to keep it quiet so as not to disturb anybody or 

avoid seeming at all different from the nondedicated. 

But Christ insists upon courageous, allout 

loyalty, even enthusiastic witness, both by 

speech and action, particularly the latter. We must 

have the character to stand up for Him in this 

pagan culture. Then He will witness for us at the 

final accounting. 

3. Resist Evil 

Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw 

nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you… (James 

4:7, 8.) Cleanse yourself of evil, humbly admit your 

faults, ask God for strength and He will lift you up. 

Get close to God and God will be very near to you. 

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4. Do Good Works 

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due 

season we shall reap, if we faint not. (Galatians 

6:9.) It is not always easy to be loving in the face 

of ingratitude, to be generous when confronted by 

greed and to do good works when surrounded by 

selfishness. But stay with your worthwhile 

activities and great blessings shall be yours. 

5. Pray With confidence 

And this is the confidence that we have in Him, 

that, if we ask any thing according to His will, He 

heareth us. (I John 5:14.) You can have complete 

confidence in the Lord and in His promises. God 

does always answer sincere prayer. He answers in 

three ways: (1) Yes, (2) No, (3) Wait awhile. And 

every answer, whatever it may be, is for our good. 

6. Commit Your Life To Christ 

If My people, which are called by My name, 

shall bumble themselves, and pray, and seek My 

face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I 

hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and 

will heal their land. (II Chronicles 7:14.) The fear 

of world tragedy is deep in men’s hearts. 

Catastrophe lurks in the dark shadows of 

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impending nuclear war. Is mankind to burrow 

underground like animals seeking protection? 

There is a better way. It is to accept God’s great 

promise that if we turn humbly to Him, He will hear 

our repentance and save us from disaster. He is 

our hope. As individuals we must commit our lives 

to God and thus claim our part in the promise of 

mankind’s salvation. 

7. Accept God’s Promise 

Neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor 

principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor 

things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any 

other creature, shall be able to separate us from 

the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

(Romans 8:38, 39.) Tuck this tremendous promise 

close up against your heart and never forget it. 

Keep close to Christ and God’s help will follow you 

all the days of your life. 

Utilizing the above 7 tips and persevering in 

times of difficulties should bring out the best in 

us as we trust God and accept the grace He gives. 

“We glory in tribulations also: knowing that 

tribulation worketh patience; and patience, 

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experience; and experience, hope: and hope 

maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is 

shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which 

is given unto us.” Romans 5:3–5. For as eloquently 

proclaimed by the prolific Minister from 

Apalachicola Florida, Rev. Dr. Artie L. Polk, “It 

Ain’t Over, ‘Til God Says It’s Over.” 

When we put faith and trust in Jesus who 

intercedes on our behalf before God, we too will 

experience the mighty works of God in our lives 

and could then say with confidence, “The LORD is 

my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in 

him, and I am helped: therefore, my heart greatly 

rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.” 

Psalm 28:7. 

Don’t Give Up! 

“It Ain’t Over 

Til God Says 

it’s Over.” 

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Below is a prayer that declares faith and could 

be beneficial if you are having a rough time dealing 

with life‛s problems, or maybe facing a formidable 

situation that needs divine intervention. 

Light and Salvation 

Lord, you are my light and my salvation; whom shall 

I fear? Lord, you are the strength of my life; of 

whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked, even mine 

enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my 

flesh, they stumbled and fell. Though an host should 

encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though 

war should rise against me, in this will I be 

confident. One thing have I desired of you Lord, 

that will I seek after; that I may dwell in your house 

oh Lord, all the days of my life, to behold your 

beauty oh Lord, and to enquire in your temple. For in 

the time of trouble you shall hide me in your pavilion: 

in the secret of your tabernacle shall you hide me; 

you shall set me up upon a rock. 

(Based on Psalm 27:1-7). 

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Some additional scriptures you may find 

helpful to bring about positive outcomes are listed 

below. 

Lonesome Psalm 23 

Hopeless Psalm 34:18 

Fearful Psalm 56:11 

Depressed Psalm 42:5 

Angry Eph 4:26-27 

Hurt Matt 6:14-15 

Discouraged 2 Cor 1:3-7 

Weak 2 Cor 12:9 

Betrayed Psalm 55 

Struggling Matt 6:25-34 

Lost Luke 15:11-32 

Tempted 1 Cor 10:13 

Anxious Phil 4:6 

Sick James 5:14 

Sinned 1 John 1:9 

Sorrowful 1 Thess 4:13-18 

Spiritual Warfare Eph 6:10-18 

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Notes: 

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Notes: 

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Bibliography 

Adler, Jonathan M. PhD, (May 2013) Negative Emotions Are Key to Well-Being. Scientific American Mind. 

Beck, Martha, PhD (January 2003), Growing Wings: The Power of Change. 

https://marthabeck.com/2003/01/growing-wings-the-power-of-change/ 

Carson, D.A. PhD, (March 2016) A Theology of Creation in 12 Points. Interview with D.A. Carson, 

Research Professor, Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. 

https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/a-theology-of-creation-in-12-points 

Civil Rights Movement (1950s-1960s) Wikipedia online encyclopedia. Wikipedia Foundation. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Civil_rights_movement 

Fishman, David E. PhD (2017) The Origin of the Universe, Scholastic. 

https://www.scholastic.com/teachers/articles/teaching-content/origin-universe/ 

Garland, Eric.L., Franken, I.H., & Howard, M.O. (2012). Cue-elicited heart rate variability and 

attentional bias predict alcohol relapse following treatment. Psychopharmacology, 222:17-26. 

King, Martin Luther. PhD. Wikipedia online encyclopedia. Wikipedia Foundation 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Luther_King_Jr. 

Lilienfeld, Scott O. and Arkowitz Hal (May/June 2011), Facts and Fiction in Mental Health: Can 

Positive Thinking Be Negative?” Scientific American Mind. 

Ong, Anthony & S Bergeman, C & L Bisconti, Toni & A Wallace, Kimberly. (2006). 

Psychological resilience, positive emotions, and successful adaptation to stress in later life. 

Journal of personality and social psychology. 

Oettingen, Gabriele. (October 2014). Rethinking Positive Thinking: Inside the New Science of 

Motivation. Penguin Group US, 2015. 

Peale, Norman Vincent. The Power of Positive Thinking. New York: Prentice‐Hall, Inc. 1952. 

Pew Research, Demographic Analysis (April 2017) FACTANK News in the Numbers: 

Christians remain world’s largest religious group, but they are declining in Europe. 

Conrad Hackett and David McClendon. 

Polk, Artie L., Rev. PhD. “It Ain’t Over, Til God Says It’s Over” sermon preached at Mt. Gilead 

Baptist Church 2018. 

Schaeffer, Francis A. (1972). Genesis in space and time; the flow of biblical history. Downers 

Grove, Ill: Inter-Varsity Press. 

Scripture quotations are taken from the King James and New King James Versions of the Bible 

Copyright 1997, Word Publishing. 

Young, Andrew J., Rev. Ambassador, “How We Got Over” sermon preached at Peoples 

Congregational United Church of Christ, Friendship Sunday Service 2018. 

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About the Author 

Marilyn I. James is an educator, 

missionary, and philanthropist, who 

believes there is a divine being at 

work in our lives. This authority is 

within us if we yield to its call. By 

yielding we are able to overcome the 

many obstacles, tests, and 

challenges we will encounter in our 

life’s journey. 

Marilyn serves as Executive Director of Children & Charity 

International where her focus is STEM Education and Mentorship for 

children and youth, and community outreach and strengthening of 

families in the United States and internationally. She served as NASA 

SEMAA Family Café Coordinator at the Science and Engineering Center, 

University of the District of Columbia where she coordinated STEM 

activities for program participants and parents, and provided program 

planning and development services. An advocate for academic 

enrichment, she liaisons with government and funding agencies for precollege 

programs, and community partnerships. 

Marilyn is most proud of the 20 years of her life she dedicated to 

providing services and support to US Military Chaplains and their 

families. For leisure, Marilyn utilizes her skills as a poet, playwright, and 

song writer to motivate others. She has also authored a Parent’s Guide 

called, “The Early Years: Helping Our Children Succeed - Tips and Resources 

to Improving Language and Reading Skills”; a Children’s Book series called, 

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“MINGO LEARNS…”; and “It’s Complicated – Exploring the Depth of Life’s 

Difficulties and Finding Divine Serendipity”. Over the years Marilyn has 

received commendation for her work from: NASA SEMAA; Ministry of 

Education, Ghana; UNICEF; The Kenyan Government; and the United 

States Army, Challenge Coin for excellence, courageous spirit, and 

compassionate service. 

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101

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Life's Complications. Starting with a historical 

perspective she brings to the table popular beliefs of where 

problems began including - Scientific Theories, Creationism and 

Theological Perspectives, and the Common Consensus. The author 

examines various scenarios of everyday problems, their impact on 

human lives, and offers possible solutions. 

Very informative and eye opening. 

ife 

situations do have a psychological impact on our emotions that can be negative 

or positive. Marilyn James did a magnificent job exploring these facets. 

re struggling to provide those answers and 

are themselves trying to make sense of life’s problems. There seems to be 

more questions than answers. I appreciate Ms. James taking the time to 

explore this topic. 

MIJ Publishing

It's Complicated -Exploring Life's Difficuties......

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