allure 12 April 2020

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with Adesuwa 07011289316 | adesuwaewoigbokhan@hotmail.com Coping And Bonding Sexually @ Easter Lockdown All of sudden, your love life seems to be in a lockdowndeprived of its usual routine-privacy. Couples now endure difficult situation in other to sustain their emotional and physical relationships. The COVID-19 pandemic has affected how we live, how we work, how we congregate and how we experience touch and intimacy to the extent that the World at large, has had to renegotiate the common norms of social intimacy with distancing measures that are daily increasing. Suddenly, husband and wife are facing a new reality of confinement at home against their will. They are also faced with getting the children occupied, be able to cope with stress while at the same time, trying to provide comfort and reassurance for each other. Create time to be alone with yourself, play games with your partner, try new sex positions, and don’t forget about your hygiene. Hug, reassure and give each other massages. Below are great tips but might not work for everyone. It may be difficult for some couples to implement these tips if they have young children at home to care for, children with special needs or elderly parents to worry about. With the threat of illness, loss of income and worries about the future, can put people in survival mode, making it difficult to relax at times, let alone meditate. No two couples are the same, some are in healthy, loving marriages and communicate well, while others are in frequent conflict and fight, bicker regularly under normal circumstances. Implementing behavioral tips in couples who are experiencing distress, high anxiety, and conflict most of the time, can trigger an already ongoing power struggle. Now you see that the solution to maintaining a healthy loving relationship does not really lie in what you do, but rather how you do it. This means stepping up with being compassionate and caring, rather than arguing over whose turn it is to wash the dishes. It means being self-aware and communicating your feelings to your partner, rather than internalizing them until you explode. Maintaining intimacy during this lockdown is not about how often you get to have sex, or what new positions to try. It is about how each couple can adapt to the crisis by coming together rather than moving apart. It is about taking turns providing reassurance and comfort, as well as sharing responsibility, taking care of children and performing household chores. It also may mean reframing the meaning of intimacy and sex. Couples have different value to what sex mean to them; sometimes it could be about physical pleasure while other times, it’s about bonding and intimacy. Love making can be about playfulness and recreation and it can even feel spiritually uplifting, or a combination of all of the above. For the singles that are dating someone new, just continue to get to know them through Skype/ Face Time calls with them. Conventional dates are not allowed though there is no reason why you cannot learn about each other, and build a bond that may even accelerate the relationship. If you are trying to meet someone or planning to date once this pandemic is all over, then make a list of what you want to do and where you want to go. If you happened to be in a monogamous relationship and if you are living together and practicing self-isolation, then there are not many better things to do than getting down to some hanky-panky, since sex and pleasure are much needed right now. Whereas in a long-distance relationship, phone sex is a great way to pass time. All you need to do is exercise more caution in whatever you do and how you do it. Don’t go out and about on that date or use your dating app to hook-up with someone for a night. Corona virus does not mean we cannot experience pleasure or have fun, just be mindful of others. Loving in the time of covid-19 is a make or break moment for couples. There is stress to contend with, self-isolation, travel bans and in some places, there are even lockdowns. If you are practicing social distancing or 14-day quarantine, the idea of being near your spouse may be a little daunting. Here are some ways you can cope: One of the reasons couples are having such a hard time with the corona virus lockdowns is because of boredom. Combat this by finding new ways to have a date night inside, or on your back porch. Have some wine and ask each other questions about life. Play games together, have a candlelit dinner, cook a meal or share a bubble bath. Most importantly, make time for romance. Sex is a great way to keep your emotional intimacy strong during all of this Lockdown chaos. The cuddle hormone has been shown to promote bonding between partners, and lowers stress and anxiety and if there was ever a time that married couples need to de-stress, it’s now. Just because you’re in quarantine with your partner doesn’t mean you have to spend all of your time together. Try staying apart. Go into a different room in the house, and practice self-care, read a book, watch YouTube, write a story, play an instrument – do hobbies that you love that makes you feel good. These things make you happier, which makes you a better person for your partner. Being able to spend time alone doing your own thing is a key ingredient to a healthy relationship. Don’t think that just because you’re on lockdown that you can’t call a friend or spend time away from your spouse. When you do, you’ll feel even more appreciative of your partner when you do come back together. If you and your spouse don’t live together, or you are in a long-distance relationship, lockdown may seem especially long for you. Here are some essential tips on how to survive the Corona virus without your partner by your side. If your partner lives far away or in another country, it can be heart-wrenching to think that you won’t get to see them for a while. But remember to do your part and listen to the government’s advice not to travel – even if your partner is only a few hours away. This is for the health and safety of not just yourself but, your loved ones as well. Chat with your spouse daily by phone, video chat and keep the lines of communication open. Stressed couples should not allow stress and fear take over their lives. Another way Covid-19 can affect relationships is by letting the fear and panic, take over your happiness. If you feel that you’re starting to obsess over the pandemic, try doing the following. *Communicating your feelings with your partner is essential for keeping the love alive, and not losing your mind during this scary time. Spending less time on social media, if possible, shut it down as it can contribute to depression. Living and loving at this time of the pandemic can be scary and stressful at times. Note that this is not permanent, it will soon become history but your love doesn’t have to be. Talk SPOT By - Rita Okoye What some of your favourite celebrities said and we listened. “Marriage, friendships, work relationships, even ideas should be delicately placed in public places. We must be careful to protect what we value. We must be intentional about the motive and purpose of sharing. Don’t be hasty to press share/post. Not everyone is celebrating with you”. Lami Phillips wants us all to protect our vital information. “Be consistent and never give up in life. Even Tissue paper, Hand Sanitizer and Face Mask, no believe say them go blow like this. Life na turn by turn”. Dbanj’s words on marbles. “I have very little sympathy for single mothers that beg on the basis that they are single. I am a strong advocate against premarital sex. But even if you must engage in it (you should not), use protection or ensue that the man can meet his responsibilities. The only single mothers that I sympathise with are widows. Reno Omokri on single motherhood and premarital sex. “Dear Lagos State Government, The People Have Been Crying For Light Since This Lock Down Started. But It Seems That’s Not A Worthy Outcry. The People Are Suffering - Does That Mean Anything To The Government”? Ms Effah’s open letter to Babajide Sanwo-Olu. 6 / April 12, 2020
LIVING COVID-19: How to Stay Mentally Healthy in Isolation By - Josephine Agbonkhese What seemed a pandemic affecting “far-away China” has encased the entire world, leading to panic, emergency responses and unusual, unprecedented measures; with lockdown, social distancing, isolation and quarantining topping the list. With all these comes stress, anxiety, depression, suicidal ideations, bingeing, paranoia, post-traumatic stress disorder, etc. Psychiatrist/psychotherapist, Dr.Maymunah Yusuf Kadiri, MD, Pinnacle Medical Services, however assures that the following will help you stay mentally healthy whether DR.MAYMUNAH YUSUF KADIRI 1 Exercise Do light exercises as you feel comfortable with. Remember, the goal is not to wear you out but to make you as relaxed as possible. you’re on lockdown, isolation or quarantine. Read Books, Watch Movies Identify, read books and watch movies that provide a welcomed distraction and complete escape from the global pandemic. 5 4 3 2 Monitor Sleep Pattern Monitor your sleep pattern and that of children and the elderly. It’s important to get enough sleep. Minimize News Time Constantly following news about COVID-19 could cause you to feel more distressed. Seek information only from trusted sources and updates only once or twice a day. Avoid Maladaptive Strategies Avoid using maladaptive coping strategies such drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, eating excessively and so on. Maintain Routine Try as much as possible to keep your personal daily routines or create new routines if circumstances change. 8 9 7 6 Check on Family/ Friends Check on your family, friends and neighbours. Being supportive of one another puts you in a position of reassuring others, which in turn reassures you. Maintain Social Network Stay connected and maintain your social networks. Keep communication lines open. The Rule of 4: Quarantine may become a magnifying glass on good and bad traits. For every one bad trait a person has, think of four good ones. Not dwelling on bad traits could help you maintain a good relationship. April 12, 2020 / 7
Page 1 and 2: April 12, 2020 Indoor Glam @ Easter
Page 3 and 4: Kaftan & Turban FASHION Cotton Flor
Page 5: INTERVIEW to do what I now call “

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