Movement Magazine: Issue 159

head around. It’s like eating a sour sweet! There were so
many things that were new concepts that I didn’t even think
of, and that showed the way I had of thinking was wrong.
For me, learning to forgive was a big thing, because if
someone has wronged you it made sense to repay them for
what they had done. Learning to love God was also tricky,
as I realised that I didn’t even love myself. If you don’t love
yourself, it’s hard to love people, and if you can’t forgive
people, you can’t forgive yourself. I realised it all started
off with me, so I had to learn so much about myself to take
away insecurities about myself. I had to understand the way
I reacted to things and my automatic behaviours, and deal
with the root causes that were mostly just fear and putting
up walls to stop people from hurting me. When I started to
deal with those issues my relationships became better, and
I learned to forgive people.
It’s been a journey – I’ve had many tears, many ‘I don’t
understand this!’ moments, and at times I just wanted God
to give up on me. But God is faithful, not once did He let go
of me, even when I let go of myself.
Did going to university have an impact on your faith?
What was your university experience like?
I think university was very different for me compared to
the stereotypical experience you hear about – I stayed in
London, while all my friends went away and had that party
lifestyle. To be honest, university was a really lonely time for
me, just because all my friends I had from home were away,
and when I came to uni I didn’t want to party, but the people
I met there were all wild. They finally had that freedom you
get from moving away, but growing up on an estate like
mine, I had that freedom from a very young age. It wasn’t
new or fun to me; they were all up for drinking and partying,
but people do that from a young age where I’m from.
I struggled being away from church as well, and things were
difficult with my CU. I joined a non-denominational church
which was good, and I did make some friends, but when I
went to America in my second year it was very different. I
became friends with a woman who was starting a group and
leading Christian bible studies in the university, and I found
myself talking to people and ministering to people more. I
lived with a group of girls, and we really made a good Christian
family group which was an amazing experience. Basketball
games, NFL games, Six Flags – you name it, we went there!
What was it that made you decide to run for Methodist
Youth President?
To be honest, my minister asked me if I wanted to be Youth
President the previous year and I said no, because I thought
I couldn’t do it – for Tottenham maybe, but not for the whole
of the UK! I laughed it off. I had plans to continue studying
and become a primary school teacher, and I wanted to do
my PGCE. I passed my English skills test, but I just missed
out on passing my Maths skills test – I had three attempts
to sit the test, and was five marks out, then four, and then
three. I went back to my minister and he said to apply, and
at that point I had nothing to lose. I applied but still didn’t
think I was going to get it. The other two candidates were
from churched backgrounds, so when I was voted for I was
so thankful to God.
After that a friend who made it onto the PGCE course told
me that the rules had changed, and that I could sit the Maths
skills test as many times as I needed to. It just showed me
that God had a plan for me, because God wanted me to go
for this position. He blocked a path into teaching for me
which led to me applying to be Youth President, and then
opened it again after.
Your election manifesto was all about courage. What
do you think are the biggest barriers to young people
becoming courageous Christians?
I think that out of all the challenges we face, fear is number
one. The opposite of courage is to be fearful. I guess
that’s why everyone’s gone so wild about the film Bird
Box, because it kind of talks about overcoming your fear.
Especially with students and young adults, it’s fear of not
getting acceptance from other people. It can stop you from
even being courageous as you’re thinking ‘what are other
people going to say about me? Am I doing this right?’, and
then you’ve discredited yourself before you’ve even started.
In order to be courageous, you just have to be yourself.
There’s no one like you, and nobody is perfect; even that
person you think is perfect, they’re not. Your mistakes make
you who you are. To be courageous starts by courageously
accepting yourself for who God has made you, and then
you’ll be able to courageous in other ways too.
14 MOVEMENT Issue 159