Binder2

“A Dogs Breakfast”
an expression for a poor piece of work; a mess or simply something
f***ed up!
Mum always stocked a cabinet in the lounge with afternoon snacks like Crisps, Bisly, Bamba or
biscuits, anything that couldn’t melt or go off for some odd reason unbeknown to me this
cupboard in the lounge was the chosen one. Perhaps the same reasoning for chocolate treats being
“hidden” in mums underwear draw? Occasionally mum would be adventurous and buy unusual
new treats, if they were successful we would gobble
them up if not they would go as treats or even food for
cats or dogs. I am sure this is the reason why Pesach
our cat would sit next to this cabinet all the time.
Pesach would sit at this cabinet staring
into mid air and meow fiercely until
she would be given her daily dose of
the BBQ Bisli snack. This particular
snack was shaped like the spiral shaped
pasta which made loud crunchy noises
as she devoured it down and then made
sure not even a single crumb was left
behind. I truly think we had poor
Pesach hooked on that Bisli snack like
a heroin addict.
Mum and dad travelled to America in the 1980’s on their return as usual they brought new
interesting items; clothing, gadgets, cassette Walkman, records and of course chocolates and other
treats and snacks. As usual the dried packets and non-malleable products were stored in the special
cabinet in the lounge AKA (Also Known As) “the cats cupboard”.
Ray was a student during this time and would wander in and out of the house commuting between
Dorit’s house and ours at all hours. One late night Ray thought he would treat himself to one of
these new mysterious American snacks. Chomping away at his midnight treat in the shape of a
Belgium waffle in a bowtie shape which at the time was hard to comprehend. Why on earth would
an American waffle treat company choose such a weird shape? Ray thought it was quite dry and
tasteless to be quite frank it was “shite”, regardless this was a treat from America, so scoffed on a
few of them, washed it down with a drink and went to bed.
The next day Ray commented how stuff from America is rubbish and said it tasted a bit like
cardboard and was hard as rock. Mum asked him which snack he was talking about and he said”
the waffles”. He brought out the half munched packet to show us. Mum said “those are for the
dogs” and when he looked closer he saw they weren’t called “WAFFLES” they were actually
called “WOOFLES”. It became apparent the weird bowtie shapes were actually shaped as bones.
Luckyly there was a substantial amount of leftovers that were then shared out between the dogs
Billy and Snoopy. They loved them unlike Ray they did not turn their nose up at American treats.
I wonder if those tough doggie treats contributed to the fact that Ray has always has had great
teeth.
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