Mundelein High School - Voices Magazine - 2020

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V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 36Ignored BlessingsBryan HorvatThis might be an interesting story all by itself. A young boy growing up never beingable to communicate the thoughts in his head into actual speech. He was barely inpreschool when he was first told he was different. He always loved talking to people andwanted to make friends but when he tried to communicate this, the words never came outaccurately. Going into preschool he almost couldn’t say any of the phonetic soundscorrectly. He sputtered only sounds rarely making words. To all his classmates and teachershe sounded incoherent. They might have thought he was foreign, learning the language forthe first time, or they might have thought he was disabled in some way thinking no one canbe this bad at something as simple as just talking. He wasn’t any of these things. He was justa boy trying to share some of the wild childish thoughts in his head. He grew up into a manwho shares his story in third person to help remind people of the gift they take for granted.Having a speech impairment makes it so you split into two versions of yourself. Thefirst being what you thought you said. In your mind, you know what you tried to say and toyou, that's what came out. But the other version of you was what you actually said. Theworst part of talking with a speech impairment was that you didn’t know you said it wronguntil someone said something. Usually along the lines of, “what” or, “say that again” or evensometimes, “sweetie I just can not understand you”.I went to speech therapy during school for most of my life with other kids whousually had trouble with one or two sounds. The common ones being making Rs sound likeWs or the S sound into an SH sound. I was both of those and many others. We went everyweek for these extra lessons. I would try my hardest to improve. Where the other kids wouldkinda try. I would try on the reading tests and receive 60% on correct pronunciation. Wherethey would take the tests and receive 90% with almost no effort. I would find myself stuckin speech for another eight years. Always watching that every year other kids “graduated”out of speech and wouldn’t have to come back for another year. During that time a largeamount of resentfulness built up inside me. Some of it towards the program some towardsmyself. I never showed this anger, instead, I used it.After a couple of years, I was fed up going to speech classes. I was tired of being thedifferent kid that had to leave class every other day. I was just mad at the situation I was in.So I talked. I talked to my parents. I talked to my classmates. I talked during presentations. Italked to anyone and everyone that would listen to me. I talked to myself at times just topractice. I talked about everything I knew. I talked just to use the language given to me. Italked for myself but also so eventually others could understand me. The boy that chose tostay quiet now told other people the correct answers. I was trying to change my life.
V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 37The Pain You CauseDylan PettinatoDarkness and silenceTrappedIn a constant wave of terrorThat feeling when all hope is lostAnd all you can do is give upThe constant feeling of sadnessLike demos now control your soulAll blackAll blueAll signs point to youI hate youI hate youYou make me feel so smallYou make me feel so weakYou make me drift awayFrom the person I try to beYou take away my prideYou strip me of my happinessYou demolish everything that makes me uniqueI am stronger than everI am smarter than you will ever beI am all things you are notAnd yetHere you are againI have not won this fightNo matter how hard I tryYou always find your way backOne of these daysI will have complete controlBut that moment has not come yet
Page 2 and 3: V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 2Voices 2019-
Page 4 and 5: V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 4Forging My O
Page 6 and 7: V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 6DACADianey V
Page 8 and 9: V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 8HeirloomAshl
Page 10 and 11: V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 10August cont
Page 12 and 13: V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 12his apron,
Page 14 and 15: V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 14August coul
Page 16 and 17: V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 16what lies t
Page 18 and 19: V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 18A Sense of
Page 20 and 21: V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 20Destruction
Page 22 and 23: V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 22The Contrib
Page 24 and 25: V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 24bathroom to
Page 26 and 27: V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 26Out of the
Page 28 and 29: V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 28I no longer
Page 30 and 31: V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 30A smarter t
Page 32 and 33: V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 32stumbling t
Page 34 and 35: V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 34Morning Bea
Page 38 and 39: V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 38Final Goodb
Page 40 and 41: V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 40Harry Potte
Page 42 and 43: V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 42Mindful Gar
Page 44 and 45: V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 44Black and W
Page 46 and 47: V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 46Breaking Ba
Page 48: V o i c e s 2 0 2 0 | 48Losing a Fr

Mundelein High School - Voices Magazine - 2020

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