Glam Africa: The Revolutionary Edition (2019)

people telling us that they “liked us better - from our hair to our
attitudes - before this wild change.
Moreover, my faith strongly tells me to run my own race,
looking at the author and finisher, Jesus Christ, who was
known to be a radical, non-conformi who challenged
stereotypes and helped those deemed incapable of help.
Therefore, as a believer of Christ, I think anyone willing to
dim their light by only striving to pursue half their life’s purpose
to please others are doing themselves a disservice. I love to
see people walking in purpose, achieving their goals and
breaking glass ceilings placed on them. I believe it is biblical.
Whilst there is a desire to add more roles other than a 9-5,
I want to see more men and women pursue their purpose. A
woman chasing purpose is only too much for the man who
isn’t. And indeed, vice versa.
As I mature, I have seen the value and necessity of being
surrounded by people who can correct you, love you,and most
importantly, grow with. If you had told my twenty-one year
old self, that ten years later, she would be single and childless
as part of the purpose I am fulfilling right now, I would have
slapped you hard, and snapped my fingers above my head
and said, “OLORUN MA JE!” (Yoruba for ‘God forbid’).
However, I’ve recently found a new level of peace knowing
that I am becoming better equipped for what God has in store
for me, and indeed for my life partner, because of all of the
things I have accomplished and the lessons I have learned. I
am fully confident that all I have gone through was necessary
for the next chapter of my life. Even if my body clock, aunties
and uncles’ voices sometimes tick loud in my ear.
I think we can be ‘boss babes’ and still be attractive to the
right people in the right season. For example, for some it
may be a season to invest in your family and children - taking
time to build the relationships and foundational keys that you
will thank yourself for in the future. For another, it may be the
season to invest financially in your dreams, so budgeting,
saving and living life like you just got ‘flewed out’ just isn’t an
option. Or it may be the time to spend money on the house,
the business or yourself in terms of investing and working on
yourself. Alternatively it could be season that you sow into
others through voluntary service in your church, community or
organisation.. Once we have an understanding of the season
we are in, it is easier for us to embrace our inner boss babe
in that season. And remember my definition of ‘boss babe’:
‘dominating the space and season I am in, in the way that I
am supposed to’.
So for my fellow singles, it just may be the
time to invest in yourself now - financially,
emotionally and spiritually, because the
next season you may be required to invest
in others your partner and family. For
my wives and leaders in the home, it may
or may not be the season to build on the
business right now, but instead pour into
your children so that when the time is right,
you know that what you have invested in is
solid and you won’t feel guilty during the
season of rebuilding yourself.
I look at amazing women like Finally Fiona, who has been
open about having to go back to full time work, because it
was not sustainable to be a full time blogger/influencer in her
previous seasons of life. Whilst being married, a homeowner
and now a mother to a gorgeous baby girl, her journey clearly
testifies that there is a time and a season for everything, and
that balance is key. It is more than possible to be a ‘boss
babe’ at any stage of your life.
As we enter a new decade and indeed a new year, I think it
is important to redefine what a ‘boss babe’ actually means.
And to be honest with you, I think it can mean whatever you
want it to. For me, wealth doesn’t play a vital role for the term.
In my humble opinion, it means dominating the space and
season I am in, the way that I am supposed to. It is important
that we take time to redefine these trending phrases because
it is easy to say, especially to ambitious women, that because
you’re pursuing this ‘boss babe’ lifestyle, this is why you don’t
have…(insert desireable life goal). I think it’s unfair to make
women feel uncomfortable because they are passionate
about something. Instead of labelling women by one single
characteristic, be it ‘a career woman’, ‘a home-maker’, or
‘wife material’, why can’t we accept them for the seasons
they are currently in? And I very much include myself in that
question.
Perhaps why we feel we can’t have it all, is because we
expect to have it all RIGHT NOW. But is it possible to excel
and flourish in all areas of our life in every season?
When you have articulated what season you are in: married,
single, divorced, or ‘it’s complicated’, you can then feel
confident that you’ll be able to discern what people you
need around you and who you can invest in too. This will
also eliminate the dangers of people-pleasing, because you
understand the season you are in, therefore you will know who
you can make time for and who you cannot. And hopefully,
they will be understanding that life works in times and seasons
and just because you may not be physically available right
now, it doesn't mean you cannot be emotionally or spiritually
available for them or that you never will be. Some seasons
can be extremely overwhelming and take longer to master,
and it is important that we surround ourselves with people who
encourage us. Similarly, it is equally important that we are
understanding to others when the roles are reversed.
As I close, we have touched on the changing narrative for
womenand this is a good thing, despite there still being work
to do. We are in a space where we also have some control
in how the narrative is shared. From the content creators on
our socials, to our classrooms and conference rooms. If we
are confident that we are walking in purpose, as opposed to
just chasing clout, then we can easily identify the people who
can support us.. Take this as a challenge to redefine the term
‘boss babe’ and reclaim your season so that we can flourish
in ways you have been called, because we can’t have it all
at the same time. Transition from the boss babe who was
#teamwantsitallnow to #teamdoingEVERYTHINGbyseason.
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