allure 25102020

Finding
allure after
Mastectomy
By - Josephine Agbonkhese
Angelina Jolie opted for double
mastectomy in 2013 to stay alive
There’s just something mysterious about
the woman’s breasts. These two stylised
protrusions on the woman’s chest have
always been seen especially by the
opposite sex, as unusual and fascinating.
As a result, from childhood, the male child is
remarkably more obsessed with the mother’s
breasts than the female, seeing them as a source
of food and comfort. As the child progresses into
adulthood, this obsession is transferred to those of
his lover.
“The breasts were the first things I was ever
introduced to as a child. Remember, even the
Bible says the child will always go the way he was
trained. So, we’ve been so wired from birth. That’s
why you see babies swing their legs in excitement
while sucking from their mother’s breasts. As a
father, I get really jealous seeing this because I
feel they are mine,” Johnson Ariyo, a 35-year-old
Computer Engineer, said to Vanguard Allure of the
attraction to a woman’s breasts.
“Read your Bible very well and you will find that
one of the things which made Adam eat from Eve
even when he knew that was the forbidden fruit,
were her breasts. The fall of great men have often
been because of the woman’s breasts” says Elias
Ebohon, a Lagos residence.
But the breasts, which clearly defines a
woman’s femininity, can also be extremely lethal
- no thanks to breast cancer. In extreme cases, a
woman may require a mastectomy in other to stay
alive.
A mastectomy, which can be done as part of
treatment for breast cancer or, in some cases, to
help prevent breast cancer in women who have a
high risk for it, refers to the surgical removal of one
or both breasts.
As frightening as this might sound, frankly,
one only just has to be a woman to be at risk of
breast cancer, and thousands of women globally
are opting for mastectomy in order to stay alive.
Hollywood actress, Angelina Jolie, in 2013 for
example, had to undergo double mastectomy to
reduce her chances of getting breast cancer after
her doctor estimated she had an 87% risk of the
disease.
But how does life feel post-mastectomy since
the breasts also serve the aesthetic value of
adding glamour to the woman’s silhouette?
Some survivors bare their minds.
“I am comfortable in my own skin” says Anne
Peter (not real names), a 41-year-old breast
cancer survivor who had a double mastectomy
in 2017. “I do not feel one inch less of a woman.
Mastectomy doesn’t make us less beautiful or
feminine. In fact, society needs to teach women to
accept ourselves more as humans than as sexy
women.”
For Adeosun Bosede Adeyombo, a 58-year-old
survivor who went through a single mastectomy as
part of her breast cancer treatment, all she feels
post-mastectomy is peace and happiness.
“It doesn’t change anything. In fact, it is only
when I’m in the room that I remember I have only
one breast. When I’m outside, I don’t remember
at all and you will never know anything happened
to me. It is all about faith; and survival also heavily
involves money. It does not affect my self-esteem
in any way. Thank God my husband too is very
understanding.
“In fact, removing the affected breast makes me
always happy because the pain is gone. We have
a support group that also teaches us how to feel
good about ourselves without feeling awkward.
Now, all I do is follow-up checks; I do not have to
worry about cancer anymore. I also ensure I don’t
eat junk foods. I make sure I cook my food myself;
all my foods are natural now.”
While survivors might feel indifferent about
losing one or both breasts to stay alive, one
wonders what the actual feeling of the man who
finds the woman’s breasts fascinating, will be.
Ugbeni Francis, a Lagos-based realtor, told
Vanguard Allure his biggest attractions to his wife
are her intelligence and industriousness rather
than any body part.
“Naturally, God has made us complete.
Once such happens, as humans, it has a way of
reducing some attraction. But as a Christian, I will
accept it in good faith.
“Instead of it triggering a divorce, it will
strengthen me more to be with my partner. I will
do all I can to show her more empathy; it shouldn’t
reduce my love in any way. Otherwise, such a
survivor could suffer depression.
“I must say, however, that my first points of
attraction to my wife are her intelligence and
industriousness.
“She is intelligent and hardworking. Facially,
she is also very beautiful. For me, her intelligence
is the asset I have. So, the breasts do not matter,”
Ugbeni explained.
Ebohon Stanley, a 29-year-old bachelor thinks
differently.
“Why would I stick to a woman who has lost
her breasts? What then I’m I marrying? What
will even take me to her in the first place? I won’t
have anything to play with! No feeding bottle will
be like the breasts. I’m sorry to say this but if we
were married before the ailment, I will have to seek
pleasure outside. Though it may not affect my
marriage, I do not think I will find it easy even if she
goes for reconstruction.”
Bayo Adesina, a 33-year-old about to walk
down the aisle, said that no deformity would make
him turn his back on the woman in his life.
“The breasts should not be an issue because
love and companionship are most important.
Personally, I do not think I should abandon anyone
simply because of any deformity because I do
not know what the next minute would result to
for me. A cousin of mine always mocked a lady
with crippled legs in his neighbourhood. Then,
suddenly, he was involved in an auto-crash with
his friend and he lost an eye. So, mastectomy
should not affect any relationship. Besides,
marriage is supposed to be for better for worse.”
Mastectomy is real; just as breast cancer is
real—and more and more women are choosing to
stay alive by opting for the removal of their breasts
to cut down their risks of breast cancer. While
some consider a breast reconstruction procedure
after a mastectomy, others opt for using a breast
form or prosthesis (inside the bra or attached to
the body to wear under their clothes), or even the
option of going flat (not wearing a breast form).
Whichever option a survivor chooses to
embrace, as the global community spreads
awareness on breast cancer this October, it is only
humane that society understands the importance
of helping survivors embrace their new bodies.
At present, due to fear of stigmatisation
caused by ignorance on the part of members of
the public, most breast cancer survivors dread
being identified as one; especially those who had
to undergo a mastectomy. There is therefore, a
need for more awareness on this reality which is
currently the new normal for millions of women
worldwide, who would rather die with this secret
than open up.
October 25, 2020 / 7