Leinster Rugby v Cardiff Blues

WHY IT
MATTERS
LLOYD ASHLEY | OSPREYS
“The most important action we can take when we recognise that
someone is feeling down or struggling is to create a safe space to talk.”
Think about this. One in four people
suffer from mental illness. That’s not a
bad day or a rough patch, that’s a real
condition that needs to be treated and
requires backing from friends, family and
specialist support.
Although many of them will not
suffer from an illness, almost everyone
experiences challenges with their mental
health at some point. So what if you knew
not only how to look after yourself, but
how to recognise the signs when someone
you care about is struggling or having a
hard time? Those are some pretty good
life skills that can make a difference and
prevent someone from having some
serious struggles.
Promoting good mental health is
important to me. I’m the Mental Health
and Wellbeing Lead for the Welsh Rugby
Players Association where we’ve started
a Resilience for Rugby programme. I’ve
also started my own business Living Well
with Lloyd Ashley that you can find on
Instagram at @LivingWellwithLloydAshley.
It launched in March and, well, with the
pandemic its purpose became even more
meaningful.
Uncertainty has the potential to
be a killer when it comes to individuals
mental health and eight months ago none
of us knew what was coming or what to
expect. The unknown creates anxiety for
everyone. As rugby players, we suddenly
had our routines taken away. Our safe
space of the training ground that we rely
on for social interaction and friendship
also removed from our day-to-day lives.
Clearly, everyone else was dealing with
their own situations – people were worried
about getting sick, their jobs and possibly
losing loved ones.
Speaking from a rugby perspective,
early new year up to March can bring quite
a lot of anxiety when guys are looking
to renew contracts, especially when you
hear about other players being signed up
to the club. Often, stories appear in the
media about players’ futures that are not
true or are based on rumours. It’s safe to
say that Covid-19 made that even worse,
and players were left to worry what they
would do when their contracts expired in
just three months’ time.
These are some very obvious serious
concerns around the pandemic, but you
can’t dismiss the small things either. As
rugby players we are used to having
breakfast with 50 or 60 people each day
and overnight it changed into just myself
and my wife or I could be on my own.
That’s a small part of the day, but a major
change in daily interactions and support
networks for any individual.
One of the keys to coping from a
mental health perspective was keeping
everyone in contact and getting the right
information out. I have to give so much
credit to the WRPA, the Ospreys and the
Welsh Rugby Union for looking after us.
My wife was pregnant with twins and there
were many others with partners who were
expecting. They gave us great information
throughout lockdown and when we
returned to training so we could make the
right decisions for our families.
Technology helped us a lot, too. I
don’t think there is anyone who didn’t
do a Zoom quiz at some point! Fair play
to Tim Jones at the WRPA for creating a
sense of community among the players.
At Ospreys, our S&C coach Simon Church
would put on extra sessions via Zoom,
which also created another sense of
togetherness. But when you’re not around
each other it’s hard to know how people
are feeling away from the screens.
When you see someone in the flesh
you can read body language, mood and
humour – that’s difficult to do over a video
call or in a WhatsApp message.
I was inspired to get my introduction
to counselling qualifications from the
experiences I had with former team-mates.
Guys would be retiring and they’d say how
much they were looking forward to it -
when you knew they weren’t. Or injuries
would be occurring that could affect
players careers but instead of speaking
they’d brush it off. As a friend you knew
that these guys weren’t expressing how
they really felt. You could tell it was a
mask, but at the time I didn’t understand
how to support breaking this barrier down.
We all know the clichés around rugby
and the macho image that is portrayed.
We are trained to be impervious on the
pitch and that expectation subconsciously
transfers off the pitch, too. ‘Be bulletproof,
don’t show weakness’. Thankfully, that
image is changing and now the most
important action we can take when we
recognise that someone is feeling down or
struggling is to create a safe space to talk.
We need to move on from the ‘It’s
okay to not be okay’ conversation to proactively
creating environments and spaces
where we can express ourselves or share
the weight of anything that’s troubling us.
In rugby, we’re learning to put the person
before the player and I believe that should
be a learning for any profession.
Our sport exposes us to the learning
of so many core values around team
work and supporting each other, it’s vital
that we ensure players leave rugby with
skillsets not only to look after themselves,
but to help support and educate others
about addressing mental health as a
positive action.
Each player leaves the professional
arena at a different stage. You might
not get out of an academy, you may
retire early, you may not become an
international player or the next superstar,
but we need to send these guys back to
their communities with the information to
ensure they can support themselves and
those around them, not just to play rugby
but to cope with the strains sport and life
can place on our mental health.
I was really impressed with Ashton
Hewitt’s message about everyone
educating themselves on how to combat
racism so they can share their learnings
with less understanding people. I read how
Kelly Brown overcame his stammering
problem to be captain of his country. Their
messages show how just learning about
an issue can make a difference. Their
experiences also show how rugby is not
just a game for all shapes and sizes, but for
all walks of life no matter what challenges
you face.
With the right knowledge we can
make life easier for ourselves and those we
care about. Don’t be afraid to talk about
your mental health and don’t be afraid to
help someone who is struggling either.
Sometimes, all it takes is a safe space, a
cup of coffee and a chat.
If we carry on this conversation, the
stigma can’t last much longer.
Be part of the solution and feel better,
follow: @LivingWellwithLloydAshley
- Lloyd Ashley