Amber Issue 1 - Feb 21

as he tried to wipe my tears away. He drew back, his eyebrows creased, the way they do
when he was sad, or about to cry.
“I got very little time. I’m sorry.” Woven into each simple word was pain.
“What should I do?” I choked out my quivering words. “Without the tin, I’ll fail and you...
you’ll be gone. I miss you so much already, Ah Gong. I can’t forget you.”
He concentrated his melancholic gaze on me. I could sense his thoughts spiralling
through his mind, trying to piece together the right words.
My desperation to cling on to my memories sent a crushing ache to my chest. How could
I leave it behind? His broken English, mixed scent of cologne and cigarette smoke, his
loving smile and of course, all the times we’ve spent together? How could I let the biggest
part of my fourteen years of existence go?
“And... I’m sorry I have to go,” his voice trailed off. “Trust yourself. Remember what I
say? Some things 命 中 注 定 . If fate wants it to happen, it will happen. No need to use
objects replace me. I just want you to be happy. You happy, I also happy, okay? I love you,
Ash-Ash.”
“I love you too, Ah Gong,” I lifted my head to see him one last time, but I was too late.
Ah Gong had vanished.
I was alone once more. I closed my eyes and let the silence take hold of my thoughts.
The sudden shrill ringing of my phone shot me back into reality. When I saw my mother’s
contact name on the screen, I knew it was time.
There was a tinge of calmness in her voice. “The final ceremony starts soon. Come down
now okay?”
I walked up to my mother, who sat at a nearby table.
“So how?” came her awkward question. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” My voice trembled.
*
“I... I want to say sorry. I never tell you my feelings... ‘cos I must be strong for you. I want
to support you. I know how much you miss Ah Gong.”
I nodded, but all I could produce was, “That’s alright. I’m sorry I was rude.”
“The final ceremony is starting soon.” She changed the subject deftly. I supposed she
was ready to let go. She’d always been. Now it was my turn. But I couldn’t. I just couldn’t
accept it.Nodding and turning to pay my final respects, I saw Orion standing where he
stood before, staring thoughtfully at the casket’s glossy finish. I walked up to him.
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