Amber Issue 1 - Feb 21

significantly, or immediately, but they do. And that’s all we can really hope for, isn’t it?
*
When Mom and Dad seat her down at the table, she knows what’s coming. After days
upon weeks upon months of fighting then silence then fighting some more, how could
she not know? Dad looks so weary—the stubble on his chin shows he obviously hasn’t
shaved in ages. Mom just looks tired. Frail. This is the first time since That Day that
Megan has seen her parents be in the same room and not look like they want to tear each
other to pieces, and everything is quiet, the world seemingly holding its breath. Love turns
to hate turns to nothing at all, negative space in an empty room.
However, being prepared for the news doesn’t reduce the impact of it when it comes.
“We’re getting a divorce.”
Mel knows, from a movie she watched a long time ago, that only 5% of married couples
survive the loss of a child. She also knows that Singapore has high divorce rates — that
some years, the number of divorces in Singapore eclipsed the number of marriages. Put
those together, and she doesn’t know how she could’ve fathomed that her parents, an
extraordinarily ordinary couple, would’ve weathered the storm.
Dad is saying something, but she can’t hear it. Her ears feel like they’ve been filled
with water then soldered shut, and all she can hear is the blood throbbing in her veins.
Shouldn’t she be crying? That’s an appropriate response. But her eyes are dry. Why?
Heartbeat. Heartbeat.
When her parents dismiss her, telling her to think about who she wants to live with, she
leaves the living room. Walking, thankfully, is made up of the same mechanism over and
over again: one foot in front of the other. If it hadn’t been that way, Megan thinks she
would have fallen, knees buckling, onto the living room tiles.
She collapses onto her bed, watching the fan blades rotate.
Who do you want to live with?, her parents had asked, eyebrows knit. When she hadn’t
responded for five minutes, silence permeated with silence, they’d asked her to think
about it. Who do you want to live with?
Here’s the funny thing: Megan’s first thought is that she doesn’t want to live with either of
them. The punchline: Megan’s second thought is that she doesn’t want to live at all.
Of all things the world can give her after everything it has taken from her, Megan does
not expect it to be a confession. She is further taken by surprise when the confessor in
question is Kieran Teoh. One lunch period, she pretends not to see his friends snickering
as he leads her from the canteen to the semi-hidden area behind the toilets.
Romantic.
“I like you,” he says, looking right at her. She opts to turn her gaze to the floor. “I have
*
49