21022021 - S/N govs. monarchs join forces against killer herdsman,crinimals
Vanguard Newspapers 21 February 2021
Vanguard Newspapers 21 February 2021
Create successful ePaper yourself
Turn your PDF publications into a flip-book with our unique Google optimized e-Paper software.
SUNDAY VANGUARD, FEBRUARY 21, 2021, PAGE 17<br />
Must you confess to an affair?<br />
Most people want to<br />
keep their affair secret<br />
because they want to have both<br />
the marriage and the affair.<br />
According to Zelda West-<br />
Meads in her book: The<br />
Trouble With You: “Many<br />
people claim that an affair<br />
helps sustain their marriage,<br />
or provides a part of their<br />
needs that are not being met<br />
in the marriage. They are<br />
unhappily married, and they<br />
may recognize that the person<br />
with whom they are having the<br />
affair is not offering what they<br />
want on a full-time basis, but<br />
just providing something<br />
which is important at the time.<br />
There are some people who<br />
want their affair to be<br />
discovered, as a way of<br />
signalling to their partner that<br />
for them, the marriage is over.<br />
Or there are some people who<br />
want the affair to be<br />
discovered because of their<br />
guilt. They believe, foolishly,<br />
that if they tell their partner –<br />
and this is usually at the time<br />
when the affair is moving to<br />
an end or has just ended – they<br />
will be forgiven.<br />
But life is not like that and<br />
their partner is not into<br />
forgiveness at this stage – it’s<br />
too soon. So, the person who<br />
confessed, far from being<br />
forgiven, suddenly finds they<br />
are on the receiving end of<br />
outrage, anger, hurt, or even<br />
the desire to murder or destroy<br />
their partner or the other<br />
person involved. The desire<br />
to confess can be a selfish act<br />
if all you are trying to do is<br />
relieve your guilt. But if your<br />
partner suspects that you are<br />
having an affair, and insists<br />
they want to know the truth, it<br />
is fairer to admit it.<br />
If, on the other hand, an<br />
affair is over, and particularly<br />
if it is in the past, there is little<br />
point in suddenly telling your<br />
partner all about it, because<br />
for them, it will not feel over<br />
at all. Not only will this hurt<br />
them deeply, but they will want<br />
to know all about it. Equally,<br />
a one-night stand or a brief<br />
but regrettable encounter,<br />
would be deeply upsetting.<br />
Whichever way you look at<br />
it, discovery of an affair really<br />
does shake most marriages to<br />
their foundations. Some fall<br />
apart, others grind on<br />
unhappily, or continue and<br />
then break up several years<br />
later. Others, however, can<br />
recover and can end up being<br />
stronger and more loving than<br />
before the affair – although<br />
for most couples, this is a long,<br />
painful journey.<br />
Can the marriage be rebuilt<br />
after an affair? “If you<br />
really want to rebuild the<br />
marriage, and you’re both<br />
committed to this, it is<br />
possible, although not easy”,<br />
says the author. “It takes time<br />
and a great deal of talking.<br />
The person who has not had<br />
the affair usually needs to talk<br />
much more than the<br />
unfaithful partner tends not to<br />
want to be questioned about<br />
the details of the affair. They<br />
see a fresh start as a way to<br />
put the affair behind them and<br />
get on with repairing the<br />
‘marriage’. But their partner<br />
has to be given time and the<br />
opportunity to express<br />
negative feelings of hurt,<br />
disbelief, anger, grief, rejection<br />
and loss of confidence and<br />
self-esteem. As well as this,<br />
some questions have to be<br />
answered honestly. Who the<br />
affair was with, how long it<br />
had been going on, who else<br />
knows, when they met, and<br />
what the affair meant to them.<br />
This is painful to hear, but if it<br />
remains unsaid, it gives their<br />
partner no chance to deal with<br />
what has been going on.<br />
What is usually not a good<br />
idea, however, is to talk about<br />
intimate sexual details,<br />
because these can really stay<br />
in the mind of your partner<br />
and haunt them for years. So,<br />
when they ask, as most do, it<br />
is kinder not to be explicit. If<br />
you say too much, it can get in<br />
the way in the future,<br />
particularly when making<br />
love. It takes time for these<br />
memories to fade.<br />
The next state in the<br />
recovery process is moving<br />
from the recriminations to<br />
starting to look at what went<br />
wrong and what led to the<br />
affair. This is often<br />
particularly difficult for the<br />
partner who has not had the<br />
affair. For them, it is often<br />
easier to stick with the thought<br />
that it’s all their partner ’s<br />
fault and to go on blaming<br />
them, rather than looking<br />
at what they might have<br />
contributed. It is only by<br />
discussing what was going<br />
on before the affair that<br />
you can begin to<br />
understand each other and<br />
then painfully and slowly<br />
start to rebuild your<br />
relationship.<br />
What about making love<br />
again? West-Meads<br />
believes it is usually better<br />
not to rush into making<br />
love too quickly after the<br />
discovery of an affair.<br />
Some couples do so<br />
because the person who has<br />
not been unfaithful and<br />
want their partner to stay,<br />
feels it is a way of keeping<br />
them or repairing the<br />
relationship. It’s more<br />
often a woman who thinks<br />
this. She sees it as a way of<br />
showing she still loves her<br />
partner, or as a way to<br />
compete with the mistress.<br />
It usually does not work.<br />
This is because the man is<br />
missing his mistress,<br />
feeling guilty, or both,<br />
which can result in loss of<br />
interest in sex or the loss of<br />
an erection, which then<br />
feels like further rejection<br />
to the woman. Or the<br />
woman is too plagued by<br />
thoughts of the mistress, or<br />
the relationship is still too<br />
tentative. Either way, both<br />
of you can end up getting<br />
hurt.<br />
So for both sexes, if you<br />
do make love fairly soon<br />
after the discovery of an<br />
affair, it may be all right<br />
but you are more likely to<br />
think of what your partner<br />
might have been doing with<br />
their mistress or lover.<br />
These flash-backs are<br />
always possible, but they do<br />
fade and die. However, in the<br />
early days, the memory or the<br />
imagination are likely to be<br />
very vivid and do not help the<br />
recovery process. It is better<br />
for most people to allow time<br />
for trust to be rebuilt before<br />
love again.<br />
Searching<br />
Male<br />
Nonso 25, a businessman,<br />
resides in Anambra state,<br />
needs a lady, aged 18-20, for<br />
a relationship that can lead<br />
to<br />
marriage.<br />
08064416229,08133212277<br />
Jude 55, Ibo by tribe, needs<br />
a sexy lady, aged 30-35, who<br />
can satisfy him sexually, for a<br />
relationship. 08115283213<br />
Emmanuel from Akwa<br />
Ibom state needs a lady, for a<br />
serious relationship.<br />
08148956099<br />
Chuma 50, a lecturer, needs<br />
a lady, for fun. 08126562447<br />
Iyke 45, a teacher needs a<br />
lady for a relationship that will<br />
lead to marriage.<br />
DISCLAIMER!<br />
08163952300, 08064744381<br />
Richie 50, a civil engineer,<br />
in Delta state, needs a rich<br />
business lady, aged 35-50, for<br />
a relationship. 09038001942,<br />
08164506853<br />
Edmond 42, a graduate,<br />
resides in Benin City, needs an<br />
educated dark or chocolate in<br />
complexion lady, aged 24-38,<br />
for a serious relationship.<br />
09134307612<br />
Precious sexy, good looking,<br />
God fearing, caring, a<br />
graduate and employed,<br />
needs a lady for a<br />
relationship, that will lead to<br />
marriage. 07035588272,<br />
08082730726<br />
Andy 57, a widower with two<br />
children, in Delta state, needs<br />
a true born again Christian<br />
lady, who is employed, aged<br />
40 and above, for marriage, a<br />
widow or single mother is also<br />
welcome. 07034362180<br />
A man 48, from Delta state,<br />
needs a busty, fair in<br />
complexion lady, who is also<br />
based in Delta state, a<br />
Dear readers, please note that we neither operate, nor are we an affiliate of any match–making agency in or outside the<br />
country. Any reader who transacts business with any one claiming to be our agent does so at his/her own risk. Our mission<br />
is only to provide a platform for social networking.<br />
Also note that neither Vanguard, nor Yetunde Arebi will be liable for any error in the publication of requests which may<br />
result in any form of embarrassment to any member of the public. We therefore request that text must be sent through at least<br />
one of the numbers for contact. This notice is necessary to enable us serve you better in our refreshingly different style. You<br />
can send your requests to 33055. For enquiries, text or call 08026651636, or 08054700825<br />
Coca-Cola Foundation awards $85,000 grant<br />
to Aid for Rural Education Access Initiative<br />
By Josephine Agbonkhese<br />
The<br />
Coca-Cola<br />
Foundation, TCCF, has<br />
awarded a grant of $85,000<br />
to a non-governmental<br />
organisation, Aid for Rural<br />
Education Access Initiative,<br />
AREAi.<br />
According to the Public<br />
Affairs, Communications &<br />
Sustainability Manager,<br />
Coca-Cola Nigeria Limited,<br />
Nwamaka Onyemelukwe, the<br />
grant will be used to curb<br />
plastic pollution in six states<br />
across the federation, through<br />
recovery and repurposing of<br />
600 tons of PET Bottles in 12<br />
months.<br />
Speaking to Vanguard,<br />
Gideon Olanrewaju, Founder,<br />
AREAi, said beneficiaries of<br />
the project will include over<br />
60 communities in the Federal<br />
Capital Territory, Yobe, Kano,<br />
Kaduna, Kwara and Oyo<br />
states, where periodic recycling<br />
activities will take place and over 300<br />
women will be recruited as waste<br />
pickers and sorters.<br />
"These female waste collectors will<br />
be trained on financial literacy and<br />
environmental safety practices,<br />
equipped with Personal Protective<br />
Equipment, PPE, and empowered<br />
through a trash-for-cash recovery<br />
scheme.<br />
"Recycling stations would be<br />
instituted across these states, with<br />
public recycling bins also distributed<br />
to strategic locations to drive<br />
effective recycling processes and<br />
activities in the various<br />
communities," he explained.<br />
Reiterating Coca-Cola's<br />
commitment towards addressing the<br />
issue of plastic pollution,<br />
Onyemelukwe said: "Coca-Cola<br />
remains committed to addressing the<br />
issue of plastic pollution across the<br />
world. Our vision for a World Without<br />
Waste focuses on recycling and<br />
behavioural-change initiatives.<br />
Peaceful coexistence: Uvwie monarch<br />
lauds Arewa community<br />
His Royal Majesty<br />
Emmanuel Ekemejewa<br />
Sideso, Abe 1, the Ovie of Uvwie<br />
Kingdom has commended Arewa<br />
people in Uvwie kingdom for<br />
their peaceful and friendly<br />
disposition since he ascended the<br />
throne.<br />
The Uvwie monarch made the<br />
commendation in his remarks at<br />
his 13th coronation anniversary,<br />
noting that Arewa people under<br />
the leadership of Alhaji Suleiman<br />
Jauro had always identified with<br />
his palace and indeed the<br />
kingdom in ceremonial activities<br />
in wonderful ways.<br />
The traditional ruler also noted<br />
that there had never been issues of<br />
menace of herdsmen or clashes<br />
between Arewa people and his<br />
subjects under the Arewa<br />
leadership of Alhaji Jauro in<br />
Uvwie kingdom.<br />
While assuring Arewa people<br />
and other non indigenes of their<br />
peaceful stay in Uvwie, Abe 1<br />
urged the Arewa community and<br />
other non indigenes to sustain their<br />
cordial relationship with the Uvwie<br />
people.<br />
Alhaji Jauro, the Arewa leader<br />
in Uvwie, in a chat with our<br />
correspondent shortly after the<br />
event, expressed delight over the<br />
remarks of the Uvwie monarch,<br />
vowing that the remarks would<br />
spur them to build more cordial<br />
relationship with Uvwie people.<br />
While pledging his continued<br />
loyalty to the Ovie of Uvwie<br />
kingdom on behalf of the Arewa<br />
people in the area, Alhaji Jauro<br />
remarked that the Uvwie monarch<br />
has always carried the Arewa<br />
people along in his rulership of<br />
Uvwie kingdom.<br />
"That is why we always feel at<br />
home. We pray that Allah should<br />
blessed him (Abe1)with more<br />
peaceful and prosperous reign, " he<br />
added.<br />
university graduate, not<br />
circumcised, very tall, aged<br />
26-35, for marriage.<br />
08030722412<br />
Sugar Cares<br />
Searching Male<br />
Tobi from Lagos, needs a<br />
sugar mummy. 08069507747<br />
Charles,30, resides in<br />
Port Harcourt, needs a<br />
sugar<br />
mummy.<br />
07033269120<br />
Raph 27, needs a nice and<br />
caring sugar mummy, for<br />
a fun and romantic<br />
relationship.07040373580<br />
Ability 35, chocolate in<br />
complexion, from Akwa<br />
Ibom State, but resides in<br />
Lagos, needs a sugar<br />
mummy who is very<br />
romantic and hot in bed,<br />
that can take good care of<br />
him financially and who<br />
also resides in<br />
Lagos.07083705933,08133619244,0<br />
9083189549<br />
Solomon 40, handsome<br />
and God fearing, from<br />
Anambra state, needs a rich<br />
and sexy sugar mummy,<br />
aged 35-55, that can help<br />
h i m<br />
financially.09034546162<br />
Uc, 37, 5.7ft tall,<br />
chocolate in complexion,<br />
slim, matured, good<br />
looking, romantic and<br />
resides in Benin City, needs<br />
a sugar mummy.<br />
09077860905<br />
Kay, need a sugar<br />
mummy, for a romantic<br />
and sexual relationship.<br />
07067030745<br />
Ovie 24 needs a caring<br />
sugar mummy, for a<br />
relationship. 07058429075<br />
Eko Club: Again, Fanimokun<br />
wins at Appeal Court<br />
The Court of Appeal, Lagos, has<br />
dismissed the case filed by the Eko<br />
Club Board of Trustees and Guardian<br />
Council of Eko Club <strong>against</strong> Chief<br />
Babatunde Fanimokun over his third term<br />
as President of the club. Fanimokun was<br />
the president of Eko Club from February<br />
2017 to February 2019.<br />
However, his attempt to vie for a third<br />
term was opposed by Eko Club and the<br />
Guardian Council. Meanwhile, the Club<br />
and Council brought a candidate, Dr.<br />
Shamsideen Dosumu as their preferred<br />
choice.<br />
The Federal High Court, Lagos, presided<br />
over by Justice C. J. Aneke, on Monday,<br />
March 9, 2020, held that Fanimokun has<br />
every right to vie for selection as the<br />
President for a third consecutive year.<br />
But the Board of Trustees and Guardian<br />
Council challenged the judgment at the<br />
Court of Appeal.<br />
In her ruling on Wednesday, February 17,<br />
2021, Justice Otisi, dismissed the appeal<br />
and upheld the judgment of the lower<br />
court.