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Issue 113 / April-May 2021

April-May 2021 issue of Bido Lito! magazine. Featuring: PIXEY, AYSTAR, SARA WOLFF, DIALECT, AMBER JAY, JANE WEAVER, TATE COLLECTIVE, DEAD PIGEON GALLERY, DAVID ZINK YI, SAM BATLEY, FURRY HUG, FELIX MUFTI-WRIGHT, STEALING SHEEP and much more.

April-May 2021 issue of Bido Lito! magazine. Featuring: PIXEY, AYSTAR, SARA WOLFF, DIALECT, AMBER JAY, JANE WEAVER, TATE COLLECTIVE, DEAD PIGEON GALLERY, DAVID ZINK YI, SAM BATLEY, FURRY HUG, FELIX MUFTI-WRIGHT, STEALING SHEEP and much more.

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ARTISTIC<br />

LICENCE<br />

This issue’s selection of creative<br />

writing is by Lyndsay Price, a<br />

collection of works that channel<br />

the discovery in loss.<br />

Lyndsay Price is a co-host of A Lovely Word and curator<br />

of Salt Water Poetry.<br />

@lyndsaywritespoems<br />

lost things<br />

have you ever loved someone so much you let them leave?<br />

let them sidestep out of your life ever so seamlessly?<br />

i wish i could quote emily dickenson and say i wish you a kinder sea<br />

but, like leather and teeth,<br />

some things in this world just aren’t meant to be that sweet<br />

ultimately we’re both worthy of being loved properly<br />

but i’ll tell you this, you could have had all of my poetry<br />

for now i’ll remember you howling with wine in your blood<br />

and a full moon in your heartbeat<br />

in many ways i feel like you saw the woman i could be<br />

but we’re on different pages, books, bookcases<br />

even different libraries<br />

i’m a mile up in the sky and you’re a thousand kisses deep<br />

ultimately we’re just superheroes with a lot of anxiety<br />

so it’s time to move on, take advice from the animal kingdom<br />

and snap the necks of the young who won’t make it<br />

cause our situation is certainly not the time for us to be squeamish<br />

so today i took a breath, today i divorced my ghosts,<br />

today i performed an exorcism on the very depths of my soul<br />

but because of you, i’m learning to leave myself love notes<br />

because of you i no longer see my body as a hand grenade<br />

despite the fire that’s in your eyes, you taught me to feel safe<br />

to move forwards, i’d say to get your hands dirty with life and<br />

consume more of the things that fill you<br />

but to close up wounds that cut this deep,<br />

well that’s not something you can rush through<br />

my mother tells that i need to know this world is tough<br />

now i look both ways when i cross the road because darling,<br />

this was dangerous enough<br />

and does anyone know the exact difference in which two magnets<br />

can no longer feel an attraction?<br />

because i’ve tried trains and hotel rooms and i can still feel you<br />

i’ve tried not talking on the telephone but i can still hear you<br />

i know when you’ve had a bad day<br />

because the sky looks dark and thundery<br />

and i know when you’ve had a good day<br />

because the trees genuinely smile at me<br />

i’m not entirely sure how you’re controlling the weather around me,<br />

but i don’t question it because i know this life is full of mystery<br />

i’ve tried salt baths for days<br />

but my bones won’t stop repeating your name<br />

teaching my body to forget about you is a full time job these days<br />

tell me this:<br />

does your car sometimes circle my house<br />

the way my thoughts trace the outline of your name?<br />

does your finger hover over the bell<br />

the way mine hovers over deleting your name from my phone book?<br />

when you give in and drive back home,<br />

tell me darling, do you feel lonesome?<br />

last night i went to bed with artificial feelings,<br />

woke up with a coca-cola heart<br />

but despite me lying to myself,<br />

the truth is that i love you and i’m sorry if it seemed like i forgot<br />

for now, i want to say goodbye in the sweetest way<br />

because i can be good at staying gone<br />

i wish you a lifetime of butterflies<br />

i’ll forever have a sunshine heart<br />

to quote aa. milne,<br />

how lucky i am to have something<br />

that makes saying goodbye so hard<br />

the search<br />

i overturned stones,<br />

moss side facing up<br />

i shouted your name into the creek<br />

i lit a cigarette<br />

and let the smoke curl into the sky<br />

leaving me to wonder<br />

if you had ever even been<br />

54

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