2019 Issue 6 Nov/Dec - Focus Mid-South Magazine

Serving the Mid-South LGBT+ Community and its Allies | NOV+DEC 2019 

Your 

Holiday 

Treat, 

MEMPHIS PRIDE 

FEST PHOTOS 

YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL AND WE 

HAVE PHOTOS TO PROVE IT! 

TREATS FOR 

TRANS FRIENDS 

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PUBLISHER 

Ray Rico 

MANAGING 

EDITOR 

Joan Allison 

ADVERTISING 

Ray Rico 

Elizabeth McDonnell 

FINANCE 

Leila Hinkle 

DESIGNERS 

Joan Allison 

Daphne Butler 

Joan Allison 

Robin Beaudoin 

Chellie Bowman 

Emily Campbell 

INTERACTIVE 

+ SOCIAL MEDIA 


Tracy Love 

DISTRIBUTION 

+ SUBSCRIPTIONS 

Randall Sloan 

Leila Hinkle 

contributors 

Jad Davis 

Tricia Dewey 

Sarah Rutledge Fischer 

RE:FOCUS 

PODCAST 


Goldie Dee 

Allysun Wunderland 

Amber Paradise 

Kevin Reed 

Ray Rico 

Andrew Stanford 

Focus ® Mid-South is all about LGBT + people and their allies…their work, play, families, creativity, style, health and 

wealth, bodies and souls. Our focus is on you. 

Focus ® Mid-South is published bi-monthly and distributed free throughout the greater Mid-South area. Focus 

reserves the right to refuse to sell space for any advertisement the staff deems inappropriate for the publication. 

Press releases must be received by the first of the month for the following issue. All content of this magazine, 

including and without limitation to the design, advertisements, art, photos and editorial content, as well as the 

selection, coordination and arrangement thereof, is Copyright ©2019, Focus ® Mid-South. All Rights Reserved. No 

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16 

8 

21 

24 

CONTENTS 

7 THEME: TREAT 

8 ASK ALLIE 

When it comes to receiving gifts, everyone should 

feel special. We’re showcasing products to help you 

show your love for the trans person in your life 

10 FOCUS SOCIAL MEDIA 

NOV + DEC 2019 

14 HEALTH+WELLNESS 

Pamper your skin well with aesthetic treatments. 

One local medical spa has just the right one for you 

to use for yourself, or to give as a gift. 

16 FAITH+SPIRITUALITY 

After an eye-opening visit to Boston, teens from a 

local church decided it was time to add an LGBT 

flag to the sanctuary as a welcome symbol to all. 

18 FOOD+DRINK 

The staff at Focus magazine decided to test out 

some keto-friendly dishes that could substitute for 

traditional Christmas favorites. The results are in. 

See what was a hit and what didn’t quite cut it. 

20 SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT 

Focus magazine has revised its distribution points. 

See what’s different in the wake of Kroger’s national 

decision to remove free-racks from stores. 

21 COMMUNITY 

Memphis Pride Fest 2019 was a blast and we’ve got 

three pages of fabulous photos to prove it! 

24 LIFE 

What started out as a Halloween gag has turned 

into a full-on persona. Meet Allysun Wunderland. 

26 SHOPPING 

Focus has created a list of ‘Focus-Friendly’ 

businesses who’ve offered up picks from their 

places for you to purchase...and win! 

40 

Cover 

Photo by 

Kevin Reed 

42 

28 

BE PART OF OUR NEXT PUBLICATION 

SELF-CARE ISSUE 

JAN+FEB 2020 

Submit story ideas: editor@focusmidsouth.com 

Editorial submission deadline: December 2, 2019 

Advertising inquiries: sales@focusmidsouth.com 

Ad space reservation due: November 25, 2019 

28 COMMUNITY 

MICAH, Memphis Interfaith Coalition for Action and 

Hope is bringing together community leaders to 

address three core issues. 

30 TRAVEL 

Puerto Vallarta, Mexico is a seaside LGBT 

wonderland. Take a peek into two resorts there that 

specialize in LGBTQ weddings. 

34 COMMUNITY 

Learn how The University of Mississippi has become 

the repository for Mississippi’s LGBTQ oral histories 

and ephemera through Invisible Histories Project. 

36 LGBT YOUTH 

Joy can be difficult to attain if you can’t accept 

your authentic self. Read one University of Memphis 

student’s inspiring story of self-discovery. 

40 PET FOCUS 

We’re featuring some fun goodies for Santa’s 

favorites so your fur babies won’t feel left out. 

42 LIFE 

Discover the story behind Jeremy and Matthew 

Thacker-Rhodes’ self-described ‘blessed life.’ 

44 ORIGINAL MEMPHIS 

The Peabody Hotel is famous for its ducks. During 

the holidays, though, they turn over the glory to the 

hotel’s lobby decorations and celebrations. 

47 CALENDAR 

Join in the fun of November and December. 


theme 

Treat / NOV+DEC 2019 / focusmidsouth.com / Page 7

life 

DEAR 

UNCLE SANTA 

Dear Allie, 

My niece, a transwoman in her early 

20s, just moved nearby after a terrible 

break with her family of origin. As a gay 

man (and decent human being), I am 

horrified at how my sister is treating her. 

I know the upcoming holidays will be 

especially hard on my niece. Right now, 

my husband and I have her to dinner 

several times a week, and we have invited 

her to stay over during the holidays. 

I want to play Santa this year and treat 

her with some beauty products that 

celebrate her new look. But I have always 

been a facewash and moisturizer kind of 

guy—I don’t know where to begin. 

Can you please help me make my 

Christmas list? 

Thanks, 

Uncle Santa 

Dear Uncle Santa, 

Great idea! Recent studies show that 

the support of just one adult can make all 

the difference for a young trans-person. 

Besides, who doesn’t like being showered 

with gifts at the holidays? I think, with 

help, we got you covered! 

TREATS FOR YOUR 

TRANS LOVED ONE 

by Sarah Rutledge Fischer with Jad Davis 

photos from the brands’ websites 

Shutterstock 

Between you and me, I’m a bit more of a toner and moisturizer 

person myself, so I reached out to friend-of-Focus, Jad Davis, who, 

in addition to being an up-and-coming area musician, is also a 

Prestige Sales Manager at one of our area Ulta Beauty stores. 

Jad immediately broke the beauty world into three essential 

categories: mental and physical safety, skin health, and artistic 

expression. “If you really want to send [someone] down a path 

of beauty, you need to address the most important foundation, 

which is your mind, and then your skin, and then how you 

decorate it.” 

Starting with health and safety may not seem festive, but Jad 

reminds us that encouraging your niece to “take care of what is 

happening on the inside, is going to help her perpetuate what’s 

happening on the outside.” Depending on your budget, a health 

and safety gift could be vitamins and bath oils or therapy and 

massage appointments. Whatever your budget, a health and 

safety gift will communicate that you value her wellbeing. 

Second is skin. “Skin,” says Jad, “is what everything is going 

on top of, and healthy skin is going to give you a healthy 

finish with your makeup.” He suggests that we all follow 

a basic skincare routine (cleanser and toner, followed by 

moisturizer and SPF in the morning or serum and moisturizer 

in the evening). If you are looking for a gift set, he suggests 

a complete regimen from companies like Clinique and 

Lancôme that are known for respecting the science of skin. 

If you’d rather let your niece discover her own regimen, 

the consultants at a safe and supportive beauty store can 


BEAUTY FOR 

ALL ON YOUR 

HOLIDAY LIST 

Gift advice is well and good, but a good gift guide isn’t much 

use without product recommendations. We asked our friend 

Jad for some of his favorites at a variety of price points. 

FYI, all of these products are available at Ulta. 

SKINCARE 

Consultation at 

Ashtoria Aesthetics & 

Wellness in Collierville 

Clinique 3-Step 

Introduction Kit – 

available for either oilier 

or drier skin $19.50 

walk her through every step. And, if you are looking for 

a splurge in this category, consider a gift certificate to 

a trans-supportive aesthetic clinic that offers laser hair 

removal and other gender-affirming aesthetic services. 

Finally, we turn to artistic expression, which Jad calls 

“the last part of beauty.” Gifting makeup is tricky, because 

this level of beauty is completely subjective, but there are 

a few core products that make great gifts for anyone. Jad 

suggests mascara as a core makeup component, “because 

you can get away with just wearing mascara.” Another 

product on his go-to list is liquid highlighter, which is 

“great for people who don’t want to wear foundation but 

just want to compliment the highness of their cheekbones, 

points on their nose, or the cupids bow on their lip.” And 

of course, you can always pick up a gift card and let your 

niece choose her own beauty essentials. 

No matter what you choose, the biggest gifts you are 

giving your niece are love, support, and security. “The 

most important aspect of exploring beauty is finding a 

safe place,” says Jad. “I remember growing up and not 

knowing if I was allowed to go into beauty stores and ask 

my questions, and now we live in a world where I get to be 

one of the people who answer the questions.” 

You and your husband are already providing your niece 

with a safe place in your home. Your beauty-focused gift 

will help her build a safe mental and emotional space in 

which to nurture and grow her new identity. That should 

get you started. 

Your friend, 

Allie 

To submit your own question, email Allie at 

Allie@focusmidsouth.com. Focus Mid-South reserves 

the right to edit letters for length and clarity. 

Benefit Cosmetics 

They’re Real! 

Lengthening 

Mascara $25 

MASCARA 

HIGHLIGHTER 

Benefit Cosmetics 

Dandelion Twinkle 

Nude-Pink Powder 

Highlighter & 

Luminizer $30 

Anastasia 

Beverly Hills 

Liquid Glow 

$25 

Makeup Revolution 

Liquid Highlighter 

$9 

Pacifica Body 

Shimmer Hardcore 

Happy Power 

Shimmer Body 

Lotion $15 

Lancôme 

Grandiôse 

Extreme 

Mascara $32 


life 

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health+wellness 

YOUR SKIN IS 

YOUR BODY’S 

LARGEST ORGAN. 

TREAT IT WELL 

WITH A LITTLE 

AESTHETIC 

CHEMISTRY. 

SKIN 

story by Amber Paradise MA Medical Aesthetician at Glo Medical Aesthetics and Hair Spa 

Shutterstock 

Lisa Street MSN APRN NP-C, Nurse Practitioner and Glo Owner 


photo courtesy of Glo 



Your skin is most beautiful 

when it’s healthy. That’s why 

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plump and firm skin for longterm 

results you can see and 

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THE ROLE OF ANTIOXIDANTS, 

PEPTIDES & HYALURONIC ACID 

Antioxidants hold the 

key to skin cell defense & 

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fortify cells by trapping and 

containing free radicals 

and boosting cell function. 

HydraFacial MD® works to not 

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Peptides are links of amino 

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rejuvenating superstars help to 

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lines and wrinkles while also 

helping to stimulate the body’s 

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Hyaluronic acid is naturally 

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HydraFacial MD® utilizes a 

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faith+spirituality 

...And the teens shall lead them 

Teens lead their congregation to install rainbow flags 

story and photos courtesy of The Church of the River 

In the photo above, the 

congregation of The Church 

of the River raise their hands 

to bless and dedicate a Pride 

flag for the sanctuary. Teens 

in the congregation initiated 

the effort to get a rainbow flag 

installed as a sign to visitors 

and congregants that 

all are welcome. 

On September 29, the day 

after the Memphis Pride Fest, 

four teenagers in a downtown 

Memphis church held aloft a 

rainbow-colored flag at the 

front of the sanctuary. As 

the congregation blessed 

the banner and broke out in 

applause, the teens smiled 

broadly. “It was really 

awesome to see the whole 

congregation support the 

flag,” says 16-year-old Rylie 

Duke, “not just say they accept 

gay people, but to prove it. I 

got teary-eyed.” 

The Church of the River’s 

decision to dedicate and hang 

the flag in the sanctuary for 

the first time stemmed from 

an eye-opening trip about a 

dozen of the church’s youth 

group took to Boston over 

the summer. As soon as 

they stepped off the plane, 

they noticed something: 

“Oh my gosh, pride flags! 

They’re everywhere,” says 

Grace Ragsdale, 17. “It was 

kind of like, the norm. And 

we immediately thought, 

‘Why don’t we have that in 

Memphis?’ We want it to be 

the norm here.” 

After returning home, the 

teens were determined to 

put their pride flag plan in 

action. First, they planned a 

presentation for the church’s 

Board of Trustees. They were 

unsure what reaction they 

would get from their elders. 

To their relief, says 15-year-old 

Jillian Maxwell, “We said, ‘We 

want to get a pride flag’, and 

the answer wasn’t just ‘OK’, 

it was ‘OK, how many?’ It felt 

amazing to get that kind of 

response.” 

The Church of the River is 

part of the liberal Unitarian- 

Universalist denomination, 

and had already earned the 

denomination’s “Welcoming 

Congregation” designation 

a few years ago. But as Riley 

Pearson, 16, explains, “I 

think it’s important to make 

everyone feel welcomed. 

Not everybody’s going to 


come in knowing that we’re 

a ‘Welcoming Congregation’. 

But having the pride flag in 

our church will immediately let 

them know.” 

The youth group also took 

a leadership role in helping 

plan the church’s involvement 

in its third year at the 

Memphis Pride Fest, worked 

in the church’s sponsorship 

booth, and marched with the 

congregation in the parade. 

For the teens and their 

minister, hanging a pride flag 

in church was a logical next 

move. “Our congregation has 

a history of welcoming and 

supporting LGBTQ+ members, 

but this is definitely one of the 

biggest and most public steps 

we have taken to actively 

send a message of love and 

acceptance out to the LBTQ+ 

community,” says Rev. Sam 

Teitel. “I believe that every 

person and family deserve 

to belong to a religious 

community that doesn’t just 

tolerate them or ‘hate the sin 

and love the sinner,’ but that 

celebrates and embraces 

every aspect of who they are.” 

The youth group says 

seeing the flag now hanging 

prominently in the sanctuary 

makes them feel even 

prouder to be part of The 

Church of the River. And the 

church’s Director of Religious 

Education, who called the 

dedication a “blessing 

and moment of immense 

gratitude,” says the church 

is proud of them. “It was like 

the culmination of everything 

I’ve hoped for our youth,’ says 

Cindy Sakaan. “When we tell 

them ‘everybody’s important’, 

Four representatives of The Church of the River youth group pose with the pride flag 

they procured for the church. They are (l. to r.) Jillian Maxwell, 15; Riley Pearson, 15; 

Rylie Duke, 16; and Grace Ragsdale, 17. 

that means everybody—no 

exceptions. To see them take 

that all the way to being 

able to advocate not only for 

themselves but also for other 

people made me so proud of 

all the work that they’ve done.” 

Rev. Teitel adds, “Blessing that 

flag was one of the proudest 

moments in my ministry. I am 

proud of our congregation, 

especially the young people, 

for taking this important step 

to send a message of love and 

inclusion to all of the different 

kinds of people and families in 

Memphis.” 

The Church of the River was a sponsor of Memphis Pride 

Fest 2019, and members marched in the parade. 

FIRST UNITARIAN CHURCH OF MEMPHIS 

292 W. VIRGINIA AVE. | NEXT TO BIG RIVER CROSSING 

www.churchoftheriver.org 

HOLIDAY CANDLELIGHT SERVICE • SUNDAY, DECEMBER 15, 2019 • 5:30 PM

food+drink 

photos by Joan Allison | recipes from delish.com 

Christmas feasts are typically carb fests. From 

the breads to the five kinds of potatoes to the 

desserts, here comes diabetes. Some staffers at 

Focus magazine headquarters are cutting carbs 

with keto diets. But will keto kut it for Kristmas? 

We recently tried out these keto recipes from 

delish.com, and gave our true thoughts about the 

tastes and experiences making the dishes. Some 

of our keto afficionados here pointed out a few 

keto-unfriendly items like carrots, so choose your 

own ingredients if you’re super-strict. And if you 

have a favorite Keto Kristmas dish of your 

own, share it on our Facebook page! 

KID- 

FRIENDLY 

FUN 

‘JUST OK’ 

Most agreed: the bacon 

was the best part. They 

needed more cheddar, 

less cream cheese. 

CRUDITE TURKEY 

For the turkey: 

1 Head butterhead lettuce 

1 16-Oz. Bag baby carrots 

1 Green bell pepper, bottom 

removed and the rest cut 

into slices 

1 Red bell pepper, cut into 

slices 

1 Yellow bell pepper, cut 

into slices, plus one triangle 

for beak 

1 cucumber, cut into rounds 

1 Olive, sliced 

For the dip: 

8 Oz. Cream cheese, 

softened 

1 C. Sour cream 

1/2 C. Parsley leaves 

1/2 C. Dill 

2 Tbsp. Chives 

1 Tbsp. Fresh lemon juice 

1 Tsp. Garlic powder 

Kosher salt 

Freshly ground black pepper 

CHEESE BALL BITES 

8 Slices bacon 

1 1/2 Oz. (8-Oz.) Block cream cheese, softened 

1 C. Shredded cheddar 

1 Tsp. Garlic powder 

1 Tsp. Paprika 

Kosher salt 


1/3 C. Freshly chopped chives 

1/3 C. Finely chopped pecans 

DIRECTIONS 

Onto a large plate, place a layer of butterhead 

lettuce. Next, add a layer of baby carrots on the 

top half of the plate. Layer bell peppers just below 

carrots in a half circle pattern. Below the peppers, 

create a large circle of overlapping cucumbers. 

Place a green bell pepper bottom in the center of the 

cucumbers, topped with a piece of yellow pepper for 

the nose and two olive slices for eyes. 

Dip: In a small food processor, combine cream 

cheese, sour cream, parsley, dill, chives, lemon juice 

and garlic powder. Season with salt and pepper and 

blend until smooth. 

DIRECTIONS 

In a large nonstick skillet, cook bacon until crispy. Drain on a paper 

towel-lined plate, then finely chop. In a large bowl, stir together 

cream cheese, cheddar cheese, garlic powder, and paprika and 

season with salt and pepper. Use a cookie scoop to form mixture 

into 18 small balls and transfer to a parchment–lined baking sheet. 

Refrigerate until firm, 1 hour. 

In a shallow bowl, stir together bacon, chives, and pecans. 

Roll balls in bacon-chive-pecan mixture and let come to room 

temperature 15 minutes before serving. (If not serving right away, 

loosely cover with plastic wrap and return to fridge.) 

EDITOR’S 

FAVORITE 

It won’t replace stuffing 

at my house, but very 

savory and tasty! 

CAULIFLOWER STUFFING 

4 Tbsp. Butter 

1 Onion, chopped 

2 Large carrots, peeled and 

chopped 

2 Celery stalks, chopped or 

thinly sliced 

1 Small head cauliflower, 

chopped 

1 C. (8-Oz.) Package baby 

bella mushrooms, chopped 

Kosher salt 


1/4 C. Freshly chopped 

parsley 

2 Tbsp. Freshly chopped 

rosemary 

1 Tbsp. Freshly chopped 

sage (or 1 tsp. Ground sage) 

1/2 C. Low-sodium vegetable 

or chicken broth 

DIRECTIONS 

In a large skillet over medium heat, melt butter. Add 

onion, carrot, and celery and sauté until soft, 7 to 8 

minutes. Add cauliflower and mushrooms, season 

with salt and pepper. Cook until tender, 8 to 10 

minutes more. 

Add parsley, rosemary, and sage and stir until 

combined. Pour over broth and cook until totally 

tender and liquid is absorbed, 10 minutes. 

YUM! 

The cook thought the 

crust was ‘gross’, but we 

all liked the filling and 

the whipped 

topping. 

PUMPKIN PIE 

For the crust: 

1 1/2 C. Almond flour 

3 Tbsp. Coconut flour 

1/4 Tsp. Baking powder 

1/4 Tsp. Kosher salt 

4 Tbsp. Melted butter 

1 Large egg, beaten 

For the filling: 

1 (15-Oz.) Can pumpkin 

puree 

1 C. Heavy cream 

1/2 C. Packed keto-friendly 

brown sugar, such as Swerve 

3 Large eggs, beaten 

1 Tsp. Ground cinnamon 

1/2 Tsp. Ground ginger 

1/4 Tsp. Ground nutmeg 

1/4 Tsp. Ground cloves 

1/4 Tsp. Kosher salt 

1 Tsp. Pure vanilla extract 

Whipped cream, for serving 

(optional) 

DIRECTIONS 

Preheat oven to 350°. In a large bowl, whisk together 

almond flour, coconut flour, baking powder, and salt. 

Add melted butter and egg and stir until a dough 

forms. Press dough evenly into a 9” pie plate, then 

use a fork to poke holes all over crust. Bake until 

lightly golden, 10 minutes. 

In a large bowl, whisk together pumpkin, cream, 

brown sugar, eggs, spices, and vanilla until smooth. 

Pour pumpkin mixture into par-baked crust. Bake 

until filling is slightly jiggly in the middle and crust 

is golden, 45 to 50 minutes. Turn off oven and prop 

door open. Let pie cool in oven for 1 hour, then 

refrigerate until ready to serve. Serve with whipped 

cream, if desired. 


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community 




life 

Allysun 

Wunderland 

Kevin Reed 

EVERYONE’S 

FAVORITE QUEEN 

by Robin Beaudoin | photos by Andrew Stanford and Kevin Reed 

“I don’t have any tragic 

stories. It’s kind of been 

idyllic,” says Stephen (Steve) 

Cossitt, alter-ego of the 

beloved Memphis drag queen 

Allysun Wunderland as he 

reflects on her beginnings. 

“She was a ‘Halloweener,’ 

not an ‘in-betweener.’ 

Presenting as a representation 

of everyone’s favorite aunt, 

Allysun was a creation for 

Halloween. There were groups 

of friends who would do it up 

for Halloween. We even had 

the butch, straight-acting gay 

boys who wanted to try (drag). 

They were the weak ones who 

cried by the end of the night 

because their feet hurt.” 

Allysun’s journey from the 

very beginning, Cossitt said, 

was not without persistence 

and assistance from her 

friends. 

“(Drag queens) Beverly Hills, 

Camille Collins, Allison Tate 

would come, so we would do 

that, and we all came up with 

names,” Cossitt said. “Allysun 

didn’t do drag at any other 

time, until the insistence of my 

dear friend Ty Phillips, who 

had a film background, said, “I 

have an idea – I want to do a 

cooking show.” 

The series, titled At Home 

with Allysun, began when 

Cossitt was in his 40s, and is 

available and free to watch on 

YouTube. 

“We’d go down to my 

friend’s house because he had 

the perfect kitchen. Once we 

waited for a guest to show up, 

Piper Dandy. She was 

supposed to be there, but she 

was out buying stuff for the 

show. It was the Christmas 

episode, and we sat around 

and drank while we waited. 

She was seven hours late. 

Needless to say, it was a funny 

episode, but by the end you 

can tell I was a little 

schnockered.” 

The YouTube series inspired 

venues to ask Allysun to 

emcee and host events at 

spaces such as Crossroads 

(since closed), Minglewood 

Hall, and The Evergreen 

Theatre. Tracy Love, who is the 

founder of Friends of George’s 

(FOG), organized the 2010 

reunion of the FOG where 

Allysun served as red carpet 

announcer, interviewing 

guests about their memories 

of Friends of George’s for the 

reunion video. 

“Following the reunion, 

some original board members 

left, and Tracy put me on the 

board,” recalls Cossitt. One 

year after the reunion, FOG 

produced their first FOG event 

called Flaunt. It wasn’t very 

well attended. Flaunt was 

followed by charity shows for 

OUTMemphis (formerly 

Memphis Gay and Lesbian 

Community Center), a New 

Year’s Eve party, and an 

impersonation drag revue 

called Legends. The board 

came up with the Friends of 

George’s bar concept, which 

evolved into the Truck Stop & 

Cafe. 

“Tracy thought, ‘What if we 

came up with a scripted 

show?’ So we came up with 

the characters and stories.” 

We put on that first 

performance in TEN WEEKS, 

which is unheard of. I’ve heard 

of people who have done 

theatre for years, and (they 

say) nobody does that. 

“It was a success, and so we 

were invited by Theatreworks 

at Evergreen to become a 

resident theatre company. It’s 


photo by Andrew Stanford 

Wunderland is the reigning Queen Pegasus, Queen Pegasus 

XVI. The Mystic Krewe of Pegasus Memphis (the city’s only 

Mardi Gras krewe) is a charitable organization that designates 

a beneficiary for each year. Wunderland is pictured above with 

the group’s reigning king, J.D. Armstrong 

a lot of work, but it’s so much 

fun to see something come 

from nothing to the stage – 

and people like it.” 

Cossitt is now the current 

president of the board of 

Friends of George’s, and 

Allysun will perform in the 

holiday show this fall. 

Cossitt joined Mystic Krewe 

of Pegasus Memphis, Memphis’ 

only Mardi Gras Krewe. He 

wanted to enrich the 

community, and rapidly rose to 

fill the role of current reigning 

Queen Pegasus XVI. 

“I was fortunate enough to 

be asked by the previous 

Queen, Nathan Bell. Our ball 

theme this year is A Night 

Under the Big Top. The show 

will be January 25 at 

Minglewood Hall. Now 

everything I see is circusthemed!” 

photo by Andrew Stanford 

In addition to the Pegasus 

title, Allysun holds Drag 

Bingo afternoons with other 

drag performers at Dru’s 

Place to benefit the Krewe’s 

charity, the Shelby County 

Drug Court Foundation. The 

foundation helps past 

offenders graduate from a 

rehabilitation program to 

give them a new start. 

Cossitt expands on the 

charity’s mission: “To hear 

their stories and how it’s 

changed their lives – how 

they truly get a second 

chance – is moving. If you 

successfully attend and 

complete the program, your 

record is expunged. A lot of 

people get arrested who 

aren’t repeat offenders. 

There’s the mom from east 

Memphis, there are fathers 

providing for their families – 

it keeps families together, it 

saves the taxpayers money. 

“I wanted to promote our 

diversity since our Krewe is so 

diverse. Everybody loves 

bingo. You play a game, watch 

drag queens insult each other 

on stage, and win prizes! 

Sunday afternoons at Dru’s 

Place have become the home 

of Pegasus’ Drag Bingos, with 

ten games for $25, and prizes 

for both winner and bad 

bingos.” 

In addition to performances, 

Allysun is also half of the 

re:Focus podcast team, a 

Focus magazine production. 

“Goldie Dee and I were 

approached by Ray Rico, 

publisher of Focus Mid-South. 

They had the idea for a 

podcast, and they wanted 

Goldie Dee (Micah Winter, also 

on the FOG board) and me to 

do it. We’ve recorded at 

Goldie’s house during a dinner 

party (among other places). 

Goldie and Allysun have a 

good rapport.” 

Guests on the show include 

favorite allies, local news 

celebrities, publishers, and 

area personalities. Re:Focus is 

free on major podcast 

platforms. 

Cossitt credits Allysun’s 

drag sisters with her evolution. 

“With the help of many 

friends, I’ve morphed into 

someone more glamorous. It’s 

all about how you carry 

yourself and give it all you’ve 

got. I’m more impressed by a 

performer that has confidence 

and isn’t as polished than as 

one who looks perfect but 

doesn’t deliver. 

“If Ty had not suggested we 

make the YouTube show, I’d 

still be a Halloweener. My dear 

sister Camille Collins helps me 

not to be so frumpy. Allysun 

gives voice to the words that 

Stephen won’t say. 

“Three pounds of makeup 

and a wig is like armor to me 

– I get away with a whole lot 

more as Allysun than I would 

as Stephen!” 


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community 

MICAH: Memphis Interfaith Coalition For Action And Hope 

‘Organization of organizations’ 

tackling core issues in Memphis 

story by Tricia Dewey | photos by Marcos Villa 

MICAH (Memphis Interfaith 

Coalition for Action and Hope) is 

a big, relatively new idea in 

Shelby County that Ayanna 

Watkins says is spiritually 

connected to what was once the 

Shelby County Interfaith 

Group--a way “to try to respond 

to the calls for justice equity in 

the community.” MICAH got its 

start after the 2016 election when 

a group of Memphis clergy 

members who were worried 

about marginalization of minority 

and vulnerable groups got 

together. “People were looking 

for a way to be engaged and the 

faith community in particular was 

finding its way through this 

season. There was energy around 

doing something,” according to 

Watkins, a clergy member who 

was part of this first meeting. The 

group prayed and invited others 

to join them with help from a 

peer group from Nashville, NOAH 

(Nashville Organized for Action 

and Hope). Taking the template 

from NOAH and the model 

national group (Gamiliel 

Foundation), “we became an 

organization of organizations…. 

We have a little saying we 

wanted to ‘organize the 

organized,’” Watkins said. 

Watkins began work as MICAH’s 

first lead organizer in January 

2019, after working to establish 

the group’s infrastructure. These 

core clergy members worked for 

the next 18 months to bring other 

groups together to commit to a 

long-term partnership to help 

advance the causes of social 

justice. 

Other churches joined the 

discussions as did non-religious 

groups such as JUICE Orange 

Mound, the National Civil Rights 

Museum, and Urban Child 

Institute. Forty community 

MICAH meetings start with a roll call of member groups. Charles 

Belenky stands and cheers as Temple Israel’s name is called during 

MICAH’s 2nd public meeting in September at Mt. Vernon Baptist 

Church in the Westwood neighborhood of Memphis. 

groups committed to MICAH by 

February 2018 (currently at 59). 

They met once a month for 

discussions about core problems 

and issues in Memphis. What 

were those causes of justice? 

How could they agree to come 

together? What was the need in 

Memphis? To answer these 

questions the group divided into 

task forces. Watkins said the task 

forces used an assortment of 

communications including 

one-on-one conversations and 

table talks “to hear people’s 

voices to figure out what people 

care about.” Ten main issues 

arose from all of those 

conversations. 

Each task force then prepared 

a presentation for the issues 

meeting held in June 2018 at 

Lindenwood Christian Church 

attended by 750 people where 

votes taken in real time narrowed 

the 10 issues down to three: 

education, economic equity, and 

immigration and intercultural 

equity. LGTBQ+ issues were part 

of the discussion on issue night. 

MICAH will continue to advocate 

for any minority groups. Marcos 

Villa, co-chair of MICAH’s 

communications team 

maintained that “Anything that 

goes against this MICAH might 

take a stand. Because 

immigration is a big issue right 

now, that plays a major role. In a 

police shooting MICAH took a 

stand. If something happens with 

LGTBQ+ community then MICAH 

will take a stand, becoming a 

more major actor in the city.” 

Watkins agrees, “LGBTQ issues 

are in intercultural equity. It didn’t 

win a separate issue in the issue 

convention, but the focus is on 

fair human rights and human 

dignity. Within our coalition 

people have varied opinions and 

we all can agree on human 

dignity and human rights, leaning 

into that as our shared base for 

action.” 

Next, at MICAH’s first public 

meeting held in October 2018 

attended by approximately 1,400 

people, state and local 

government actors and 

candidates like U.S. Senate 

candidate Phil Bredesen and 

Shelby County Mayor candidate 

Lee Harris, listened while issues 

were defined and discussed, and 

were then asked to commit to 

recommended actions and 

results. “This is a simple way to 

have a government actor commit 

to an action in public to keep 

them accountable,” Villa said. 

Officials were informed of 

potential actions before the 

meeting so that they could 

respond or deliberate. One issue 

where Shelby County Mayor Lee 

Harris and MICAH have found 

common ground is in increasing 

the MATA budget to improve 

public transportation in Shelby 

County. 

In their public meetings and 

task force work, MICAH has 

moved past the startup 

organizational phase and is now 

focused on achieving outcomes 

in each of their issue areas. 

Watkins says, “We want to really 

see transition and change, so 

economic equity is sort of 

landing the first plane…by 

creating a working relationship 

and accountability commitment 

with First Tennessee Bank. They 

were part of historic redlining we 

know about in our area and they 

made a public commitment to do 

community reinvestment in 2018. 

We were coming to follow up on 

that commitment and see what 

that looked like in Memphis.” First 

Tennessee has committed to 

reinvest $3.95 billion across all of 


Do justly; 

Love mercy; 

Be Humble. 

—Micah 6:8 

A view from the balcony of Mt. Vernon Church at Micah’s 2nd Public Meeting in September. Local government candidates were the guests. 

their markets, and approximately 

$1.5 billion in Memphis. The 

money will be used differently in 

each community depending on 

need, but the bank will be a 

conduit for getting capital into 

communities that have been 

disenfranchised. In Orange 

Mound, for example, this may 

mean making smaller home loans 

available for people but in 

Frayser reinvestment may mean 

working in different funding in 

the community. Watkins says 

MICAH can bring First Tennessee, 

the community, and the 

stakeholders together to help 

determine the need. Watkins is 

hoping that actions on education 

issues may be the next plane to 

land. (MICAH’s issues and actions 

are explained in detail on their 

website.) 

One of the most exciting 

outcomes of the group has been 

the formation of MICAH’s youth 

council, which came together at 

the beginning of 2019. At an 

Equity Task Force meeting in 

June 2019 attended by about 

350 people the youth discussed 

their commitment to three issues: 

community/police relationships, 

environmental justice, and access 

to opportunities. They are 

exploring how to give more 

people in Memphis access to 

reusable bags, creatively 

connecting all three of their 

working issues by having police 

hand out reusable bags at 

community gatherings. Proving 

that youth are ready to lead on 

real change, another of their 

larger goals is to “have fewer 

issues to deal with when we are 

adults.” 

Both Villa and Watkins feel 

that MICAH has had real impact 

in a relatively short time, and can 

do more. To Villa, “MICAH is 

more than churches. The 

positives from this include small 

conversations with trying to learn 

from different people. There are 

maybe more liberal people who 

come but I would like to think 

there might be more 

conservative people who would 

come, not just people who are 

usually involved in something like 

this.” Watkins hopes that more 

groups can come together: 

“there are so many churches… 

Some of MICAH’s leadership team members: (Front row l. to r.) Will 

Christians, (unidentified) Meggan Kiel, Rev. Sandra Summers, 

Rev. Ayanna Watkins, Marcos Villa. (Middle row l. to r.) Sara First, 

Janiece J. Lee, Ruth Abigail Smith, Alexis Gwin Miller, Adam Nelson, 

Rev. Vahisha Hasan. (Back row l. to r.) Rev. Lucy Waechter-Webb, 

Britney Thornton, Ryan Lee, Rev. Lloyd Stovall. 

often faith communities are 

doing great work on their own 

but what would happen if we all 

put our heads and resources 

together?” There is definitely 

room here for more active 

LGBTQ advocacy. The next large 

public meeting is planned for 

October 2020. Smaller task force 

meetings are held once a month. 

Check MICAH’S website for 

dates. Meetings are open to the 

public and members of member 

organizations have voting 

privileges. 


travel 

SCENES FROM THE MARRIOTT 

For many LGBTQ couples, a 

wedding in an exotic location 

or even one on the beach, was 

something they could dream 

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The staff at two sister hotels 

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Vallarta, sit about a mile apart 

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Marriott International, has 

PUERTO 

PICTURESQUE SUNSETS 

MAKE THE PERFECT 

SETTING FOR LGBTQ 

WEDDINGS BY MARRIOTT 

AND WESTIN HOTELS 

story and photos courtesy of NEMA News Network 

long been recognized as a 

leader in the hotel industry on 

topics of diversity and 

inclusion, regularly scoring a 

100 on the Human Rights 

Campaign’s Corporate 

Equality Index. The company 

also offers education and sales 

training to its associates to 

give them greater insight into 

what their guests might 

expect. 

However, be warned that 

most of the American 

weddings performed at the 

hotels are symbolic in nature 

– the couples get married 

before they leave the U.S. If 

you want a legal Mexican 

ceremony, the law requires 

that you be in the country at 

least four days prior to your 

wedding, and there are several 

other steps that you must take. 

“‘Love is love’ has become 

our inspiration to coordinate 

wedding experiences. We 

remember that this is not only 

the wedding day for the 

couple, it’s also the arrival of 

friends and family, setting up 

the right moments for 


VALLARTA 

networking and details that 

will long last memories of your 

special day” said Areli Vega, 

wedding and special events 

manager at The Marriott 

Puerto Vallarta Resort and 

Spa. “Our recently renovated 

resort offers amazing 

beachfront locations, it has 

become a preferred resort for 

Americans and Canadians. 

Some couples have marked 

their first walk together on 

white horses, others prefer the 

butterfly release, and of course 

we can always make the vow 

(declaration) a special surprise 

for your love one.” 

Most of the weddings held 

at the hotels are done on the 

beach and at sunset. Each 

hotel will only allow two 

weddings on the same day. 

With wedding packages 

starting as low as $75 USD per 

person (not including food), 

each hotel has specialists who 

will work with LGBTQ couples 

to help make them feel 

comfortable and make lifetime 

memories. 

“We have a lot options to 

offer with our packages, or we 

can personalize their wedding 

to meet their own needs,” said 

Denisse Montes De Oca, 

wedding and special events 

manager at The Westin Resort 

and Spa Puerto Vallarta. “We 

love to work with couples. And 

their location in the U.S. is not 

a problem. We work through 

email, telephone and FaceTime 

right up until the wedding.” 

Planning for a wedding – 

especially one that is in a 

foreign country – can be a 

daunting experience. But rest 

assured, Montes De Oca said, 

the thousands of details will be 

expertly handled. 

“Our certified wedding 

planners are trained to help,” 

she explained. “After 

completing demanding 

coursework, each Marriott 

Certified Wedding Planner is 

qualified to coordinate 

weddings of all types, 

including ethnic and military 

weddings. Relying on 

experience, training, tradition 

and old-fashioned intuition, 

Marriott Certified Wedding 

Planners can help you 

determine an overall vision for 

your wedding and help you 

execute each detail. That 

includes setting a budget; 

deciding on a menu; arranging 

table settings; and finding 

florists, photographers, a band 

and other entertainment for 

the big day.” 

Montes De Oca said she is 

often asked “When is the best 

time of year to have my 

wedding?”. She said that the 

hotels can make any time of 

the year work. 

“We have a huge annual 

Pride celebration in Puerto 

Vallarta around Memorial Day,” 

she said. “That’s always a high 

interest time. But there are 

pros and cons to our different 

seasons. The summer months 

can be hotter and later in the 

summer, rain showers are 

typical. But, she added, both 

hotels are experienced in these 

situations and can make 

anything work to please the 

happy brides or grooms.” 

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lgbt advocate 

INVISIBLE HISTORIES PROJECT 

COMES TO MISSISSIPPI 

The University of Mississippi will lead the work 

by Joan Allison | photos from Invisible Histories Project 

Above right: Early 1900s ‘chapbook’ written by a young 

man from Central Alabama. In the photo is almost 

certainly the diarist himself, Joe Hulse (on the left). The 

chapbook contains Gay themed poetry written by Hulse to 

several men that he had relationships with including a 

poem to ‘Alf’ (original diary entry above right). It is 

believed that the Alf of this poem is the young man on the 

right in the photo, and that this photo was taken at the 

Cahaba River near Irondale, Ala. The University of 

Mississippi is now partnering with Invisible Histories 

Project to create a similar collection of Mississippi LGBTQ 

ephemera to be housed on the Ole Miss campus, and later, 

at additional repositories throughout the state. 

Alf 

I remember always one perfect summers day, 

When the whole wide world seemed glad and gay; 

When the hours trilled by like a happy song— 

and life was sweet the whole day long. 

Did the sun shine? No, it was raining fast. 

Did the flowers bloom? No; they drooped in the blast. 

Did the birds sing? No; they hid in the tree— 

But gosh ogee! You were there with me! 

—J.H., 1912 


Across three states, Invisible 

Histories Project (IHP) is 

preserving LGBTQ history. That 

two of those states are in the 

deep South is perhaps what 

makes this project most 

extraordinary. Alabama and 

Mississippi both have a 

profound history of hate crimes, 

so for IHP to be partnering with 

state universities to document 

the history of this marginalized 

community, it seems that equity 

has taken hold in the culture. 

IHP’s leaders are on a mission 

to preserve, collect, and protect 

the Southeastern United States’ 

living history of the diversity of 

the Queer community – both 

urban and rural, all within 10 

years. Joshua Burford, one of its 

leaders, is an award-winning 

historian, archivist, and 

educator with over 20 years of 

experience creating stronger 

communities for queer and 

transgender people across the 

U.S. Burford is a native of 

Alabama who grew up in 

Anniston. He attended The 

University of Alabama for his 

undergraduate and master’s 

degrees. 

Alongside Burford is Maigen 

Sullivan. Sullivan earned her 

Bachelor of Arts in History and 

her Master of Arts in Women’s 

Studies from The University of 

Alabama. She is pursuing a 

Ph.D. from University of 

Alabama at Birmingham (UAB). 

She was the founding organizer 

of Ladyfest Deep South, a 

three-day festival celebrating 

music, film, craft and food from 

women and queer folks in 

Tuscaloosa, Ala. 

In 2013 Burford began 

Invisible Histories Project to 

document the queer and trans 

history of Charlotte, North 

Carolina. He then took the work 

to Alabama, ferreting out oral 

histories and ephemera from 

that state’s LGBTQ community. 

Now, IHP has partnered with 

The University of Mississippi 

(UM) to do the same for 

Mississippi. 

Enter UM’s Assistant 

Professor of History and 

Southern Studies, Jessie 

Wilkerson. “In 2017, I wanted to 

run an LGBTQ oral history 

project out of my class,” she 

said. “The class I was teaching 

started what we’ve been calling 

the Queer Mississippi Oral 

Histories Project. 

“(Burford) had just started 

the Invisible Histories Project 

but was focusing on Alabama. 

But at that time (Burford) said 

‘we would really love to have 

satellite projects in other places 

in the South.’ I said to count us 

in. Amy and I (Amy McDowell, 

UM Assistant Professor of 

Sociology), once we had the 

IHP model, we worked on 

getting an Isom Fellowship 

through the Sarah Isom Center 

to expand that [oral history] 

project. Eventually we got a 

(UM) team together with Amy, 

Jaime Harker (Director of the 

Sarah Isom Center for Women 

and Gender Studies), and staff 

at the (UM) archives and 

collections. The Center for the 

Study of Southern Culture has 

also been supportive, naming 

the project, as well as 

immigration, part of its “Future 

of the South” initiative. 

When she met them, 

Wilkerson said, Burford and 

Sullivan had been working to 

secure funding from a Mellon 

Foundation grant. “They put 

(the University) on that grant to 

get a sub award so that we 

could be a satellite of IHP. We 

hired a couple of graduate 

students (to help with the 

project). The goal is after two 

years to have 40 interviews, 

really focusing on North 

Mississippi and Tupelo, and to 

collect personal papers and 

organization documents for the 

archives.” 

In fact, IHP-Mississippi 

launched the weekend of 

October 11 at the 2nd Annual 

Tupelo Pride festival. There was 

a kickoff event including a drag 

show on Friday night. On 

Saturday, Burford and Sullivan 

manned a table at the event to 

hand out information about the 

project. They were able to meet 

with locals and ask questions of 

them like where they’d hung out 

in the past, and to discuss how 

to donate items to the 

collection. 

Wilkerson said that her 

LGBTQ students have been 

drawn to the project, but that 

allies have also wanted to 

participate. People understand 

it’s a new and exciting thing; in 

general, any kind of oral history 

project is, she said. “The 

students are excited to know 

the LGBTQ history in their state 

and the contemporary politics 

Relax, by Frankie 

goes to Hollywood, is 

now part of the IHP- 

Mississippi collection 

from the personal 

effects of the late DJ, 

Charles Smith. Smith 

died in 2008, but had 

spun the records during 

his career at gay bars 

throughout Mississippi. 

McDowell’s father 

purchased Smith’s 

collection (more than 800 albums) after Smith’s death. 

Realizing their importance to the LGBTQ community, he has 

donated them to the IHP-Mississippi collection. 

Graphics from a 1984 tshirt produced for the University of 

Alabama Gay Student Union. These are the types of items that 

Ole Miss hopes to collect for the IHP-Mississippi. 

The University of Mississippi professors Jessica Wilkerson and 

Amy McDowell will help lead the IHP-Mississippi team. 

around LGBTQ issues. This is 

one of the major issues of their 

day.” 

At the moment, The 

University of Mississippi is the 

only repository in Mississippi 

with the goal of having them 

around the state. Alabama has 

been at this a little longer, 

Wilkerson said, so they already 

have several repositories 

throughout their state. 

You can read more on the 

Invisible History Project at 

photo Joan Allison 

invisiblehistory.org. The IHP- 

Mississippi collection will be 

available to view after 

processing which will take 

about a year. It will be housed in 

the Archives and Special 

Collections Department of the 

J.D. Williams Library, Room 318. 

If you would like to donate to 

the IHP-Mississippi collection, 

or if you have stories to share 

about LGBTQ history in 

Mississippi, contact Wilkerson 

at jcwilkers@go.olemiss.edu. 


lgbt youth 

ONCE I ACCEPTED MY 

TRUE SELF, I FOUND JOY 

EMILY 

CAMPBELL 

Her story in her words 

photos courtesy of Emily Campbell 

One of my clearest 

memories from kindergarten 

was when kids were gathered 

around talking about their 

imaginary friends. At the time I 

didn’t have one, but I wanted 

to fit in and I felt like I was 

missing out on an important 

part of childhood by not 

having one, so I created Sarah 

on the spot. I continued to 

have an imaginary friend for 

years, but it always seemed 

forced. Looking back I wonder 

if I only had an imaginary 

friend because I thought I was 

supposed to. I don’t regret it, I 

was just a little kid playing, but 

now I think it’s a great example 

to explain why I thought I was 

straight for so long. 

I was raised in a very 

heteronormative environment. 

I didn’t even know 

homosexuality existed until I 

was older. Everything in media 

followed the same boy meets 

girl formula for happiness. I 

didn’t realize that having 

female friends that I absolutely 

worshipped and would do 

anything to make them like me 

were typical schoolyard 

crushes. At the same time 

when everyone was constantly 

talking about crushes on boys 

I joined in. I was very 

methodical in choosing these 


...I didn’t allow myself to crush 

on her. I avoided her like the 

plague. I was so deep in denial 

I wouldn’t let myself think 

about why I was avoiding her. 

heteronormative crushes. I 

would mentally list the pros 

and cons of the boys in my 

classes and decide who would 

fill the position best. When I 

bring this up to people now 

they find it hilarious, but at the 

time I assumed it was normal. 

It wasn’t until middle school 

when I started to realize I 

wasn’t straight. I had been told 

what to expect from puberty 

from my parents, books, and 

school and was ready to start 

feeling new feelings for boys. I 

was not prepared to find 

myself instead drawn to my 

female classmates. I remember 

sitting in class and looking 

over to see a girl doodling 

flowers in the margins in her 

notes and feeling this strange 

warm feeling in my chest. I 

don’t know if I would say she 

was my first real crush since I 

was so scared I didn’t allow 

myself to crush on her. I 

avoided her like the plague. I 

was so deep in denial I 

wouldn’t let myself think about 

why I was avoiding her. 

Still, I found myself 

increasingly attracted to 

women. At some point denial 

just wasn’t working. It’s hard 

to put into words how scared I 

was. I knew the world was 

harder for gay people. 

Everything in the media had 

taught me that the way to be 

happy was to find my Prince 

Charming and start a family 

with him. I didn’t know if I 

could ever have a happy family 

or even be happy at all. I had a 

moment when I wondered, “If I 

will never be happy what’s 

even the point in living?” 

When I think back at those 

thoughts, it scares me how 

easily it could have been for 

my path to have gotten much 

darker. 

It’s why I often say if it 

weren’t for queer 

representation I don’t know if I 

would still be here today. I 

watched queer YouTubers 

talking about their life and 

being happy, watched movies 

and TV that showed happy 

gay couples, and connected 

with the LGBTQ+ community 

online. People try and say that 

being gay is a choice, but I can 

assure everyone it wasn’t for 

me. I never would have 

choosen to be gay, which is 

why it’s a good thing that I 

didn’t get to choose. 

Now I am so thankful to be 

gay. Pretty much all of my 

friends have been made 

through the community, I love 

being involved in UofM’s 

Gender and Sexuality Alliance, 

and this year I’m even serving 

on the board as the Education 

and Development Coordinator. 

I’ve become involved with 

LGBTQ+ activism and I have an 

amazing girlfriend and 

supportive family. At times 

being a lesbian is hard, but 

now instead of thinking of my 

sexual orientation as being the 

problem I realize it’s that 

society still has a lot to learn. I 

hope I can help teach them. 


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life 

Q&A: JEREMY THACKER-RHODES 

WE ARE TRULY BLESSED 

story and photos by Joan Allison 

Who was Thacker and who was 

Rhodes? 

Jeremy Thacker & Matthew 

Rhodes. We changed our last 

name to Thacker-Rhodes when 

we got married. 

How did you meet? 

Through a mutual friend. We 

began to talk to each other for a 

while on the phone before we 

decided to meet in person. I was 

living in Memphis already and 

Matthew was living in Alabama. 

After talking for a while, we 

decided it was time to meet in 

person. This was during May and 

we had a tent set up at BBQ 

Fest. I invited Matthew to 

Memphis to come to BBQ Fest. 

It was May 16 and his birthday. A 

friend was supposed to come 

with him because he didn’t know 

anyone here. The friend backed 

out last-minute, but he decided 

to come by himself anyway. He 

came down to the river and 

found our tent. We met in 

person for the first time there 

and have been together ever 

since. 

What attracted you to each 

other? 

We were so different but yet 

so much alike. We had the same 

desires and goals in life…to be 

successful, raise a family and 

grow old together. 

Jeremy about Matthew - 

Everything about him…he was 

handsome, goal-driven, and 

shared the same morals and 

values in life. That’s hard to find 

anymore. One thing that didn’t 

hurt was that little half-smile he 

would give out of the corner of 

his mouth that would make me 

fall in love with him every time. 

Matthew about Jeremy - I 

knew when I first saw him that 

he was who I wanted to spend 

my life with. I fell in love with not 

only the way he looked but with 

his heart. He has a heart of gold 

and would do anything for 

anyone. He was genuine and 

made me feel special. 

When did you get married? 

We got married April 05, 2014 

in San Francisco because it was 

not legal in Tennessee at that 

time. 

What keeps the relationship 

alive? 

We wish to never give up on 

each other, and we work on the 

relationship even when times get 

hard. Always expecting the 

unexpected helps to strengthen 

our bond. We have to always 

realize that we aren’t the same 

people we were when we got 

married. We have to be willing to 

adapt to life’s changes and be 

willing to change to make it 

work. We find things we have in 

common and enjoy each other. 

Life gets hectic and busy and 

you can forget about what is 

important in life – like the one 

you fall asleep next to each 

night. We laugh and take time to 

enjoy each other…we cherish the 

moments. We accept each other 

for who we are. We’ve both 

changed, matured, had life 

changes, new friends, etc. We’ve 

learned to adjust, fall in love with 

the new, and out of love with the 

old. 

Tell us about your children. 

Corbin, 20, is currently 

attending Arkansas State; 

Jaxton, 16, is a high school 

junior; and Rowan is just 2 years 

old. Our boys are our life and we 

couldn’t imagine life without 

them. Having three the ages 

they are…our house is never dull. 

It’s important to us that others 


At left: The Thacker-Rhodes pose with one of their Gypsy Cob 

horses, Moonshine. Gypsy Cobs were bred to pull the family 

wagons of the Romany Gypsies of Great Britain. 

see us and know that we may be 

gay, but that doesn’t mean we 

can’t have a normal family life. 

We hope to give others hope for 

the same kind of life. We are 

truly blessed. 

Tell us about your day jobs. 

We own staffing companies 

PrideStaff and PrideStaff 

Financial which are full-service 

for all industries in Memphis 

from healthcare, finance, office 

admin, industrial, distribution 

centers, etc. PrideStaff is a 

national franchise and our 

Memphis office is the third 

largest in the U.S. We also have 

recently opened a merchant 

processing company which is 

where we provide credit card 

services. We are co-owners of 

Pontotoc Lounge Downtown and 

Silly Goose. We have TR Stables 

(see below), Thacker-Rhodes 

Properties, and we own a kennel 

for boarding, grooming, and 

selling puppies. 

We developed two 

companies: Tuscan Ridge 

Equestrian and Wedding Venue, 

and Baron’s Man Cave, but are 

currently trying to get these two 

sold so we can focus on our 

larger endeavors. 

You own several businesses. 

What was the appeal of each? 

They were all a challenge, and 

we love a good challenge. If you 

don’t take risks, you never get 

anywhere in life. We’d rather say 

we tried and failed than wonder, 

‘what if?’. 

Tell us about your horses. 

We got into horses because it 

was something that we could 

both do together as sort of our 

stress relief, and something we 

could do as a family. We fell in 

love with the rare Gypsy Cobs 

breed in 2016 and imported our 

first one from England. They 

were originally bred by the 

Romany Gypsies to pull their 

wagons across all of England 

and Ireland. Now it’s a full-time 

job. We import them directly 

from England, Ireland and 

recently Australia. We have a 

horse farm in England now 

where we will keep them until 

we get ready to bring them to 

America. We recently moved an 

English family to our farm to 

manage, train and show these 

horses (we bought our first 

Gypsy from them). We are 

currently the only stable in 

Shelby county to have any. Our 

mission is to find and import the 

breed’s best to make our stables 

an attraction to visit. 

Tell us about your farm. 

Six years ago, we purchased 

the home from Mike Miller 

(former player for the Grizzlies, 

Miami Heat and Cleveland 

Cavaliers and now assistant 

coach for Memphis). We fell in 

love with it. It had everything we 

dreamed of. It’s close to the city 

but we can have our horses and 

animals that we love… horses, 

sheep, geese, ducks, pheasants, 

peacocks, alpacas, etc. And our 

newest addition – a camel. It has 

turned into a farm over the past 

few years, but it’s our happy 

place. 

What’s coming up for you 

professionally? 

We are currently working our 

biggest project yet in downtown 

Memphis. Stay tuned... 

What’s fun that’s coming up? 

We host a Christmas party 

each year for all of our friends 

and clients, some who fly into 

Memphis for this from all over 

including Canada and England. 

This is a yearly non-profit 

benefit. This year’s party will 

benefit Memphis Oral School for 

the Deaf which is an amazing 

organization that has a special 

place in our hearts. 

What’s your greatest hope for 

your youngest son? 

We had just started the 

surrogate process when Rowan 

came into our life. We had 

gotten back from England and 

got a call the next morning 

about him being born. He was in 

a hospital in Alabama. We were 

not planning on adopting at all, 

but this came out of nowhere 

and was such an amazing gift 

from God. After we got to 

Alabama, we eventually got 

custody of him. We brought this 

beautiful soul home and made 

him part of our family. We could 

not imagine life without him. Our 

The Thacker-Rhodes at their farm which now 

includes horses, alpaca, ducks, geese — and a baby 

camel named Precious. Rowan, below with his new 

pony Sonny, is nearly 3. Jeremy says his son loves 

all animals and if given the opportunity, would 

probably even give kisses to a ‘possum. 

hope is that he grows up with a 

loving and accepting heart, is 

caring and makes a difference in 

others’ lives. That’s what we 

teach him in our home. We want 

him to grow up knowing that 

everyone is equal, and all 

families are unique. We teach 

him that some families have a 

Mom and a Dad, some have two 

moms, some have two dads, 

some children have one parent 

or no parents at all, but we are 

all the same and equal. We never 

judge. An accepting heart is a 

symbol of love. 


travel 

Original Memphis 

The Peabody Hotel 

story by Tricia Dewey 

photos courtesy of The Peabody Hotel 

Nothing says holiday season in 

Memphis like the fabulously festive 

seasonal atmosphere of the Peabody 

Hotel. This year the Peabody is 

celebrating 150 years since the 

opening of its first hotel on the 

corner of Main and Monroe and 

its story is one of evolution like the 

city itself. 

“As the Civil War ends, the story 

of the Peabody begins,” according 

to Memphis historian Jimmy Ogle. 

“Memphis was the fastest growing 

town before the Civil War and the 

fastest growing town in the country 

after the Civil War, it was a boom 

town,” and ready for a world-class 

hotel. A chance meeting between 

Colonel Robert Brinkley and 

George Peabody helped Brinkley 

find the financing to fund the hotel, 

and the Peabody was launched. 

Constructed in 1869 at a cost of 

$60,000, the Peabody became one 

of the South’s finest hotels and 

meeting places, and even in that 

original structure had a massive 

well-appointed lobby and grand 

ballroom. 

This original Peabody closed in 

1923, and in 1925 the planned 

larger Peabody reopened in its 

current location at Union and 2nd 

Street, a work of Chicago architect 

Walter Ahlschlager in Italian 

Renaissance Revival style. The 

Peabody ducks got their start in the 

large central travertine fountain in 

the 1930s when Peabody general 

manager Frank Schutt returned 

from a duck hunting trip and 

decided to place live decoys in 

the fountain (reportedly whiskey 

was involved). In 1940, Edward 

Pembroke, a former animal trainer, 

became the first Duckmaster and 

trained the ducks to ride the elevator 

and walk the red carpet to the 

fountain to the tune of John Phillip 

Sousa’s “King Cotton March.” 

As with many other downtown 

Memphis landmarks, the Peabody 

experienced hard times in the 1970s 

and eventually closed its doors. 

Lucky for Memphis, years earlier 

Jack Belz had attended many events 

at the beautiful hotel and had the 

vision to purchase it from auction 

in 1975. He committed five years 

and $25 million to restore it to 

its original splendor down to the 

stained-glass skylights and wooden 

beams visible in the lobby today. 

The reopening of the Peabody in 

1981 helped reinvigorate downtown 

Memphis. The hotel has embraced 

the holiday season ever since. 

The holiday event season kicks 

off at the Peabody with a massive 

Thanksgiving Day buffet brunch 

on the mezzanine level seating 

approximately 1400 people. Just 

the dessert section is 32 feet long! 

If you’re looking for an antithesis 

to Black Friday shopping, the day 

after Thanksgiving at the Peabody 

starts with the usual 11 a.m. 

duck march. Once the ducks are 

paddling the fountain, the crowd 

disperses throughout the lobby 

perhaps slipping into a comfortable 

armchair, ordering something 

fancy, and preparing to be dazzled 

by local school and church choirs 

that perform throughout the day 

culminating in the singing of “Here 

Comes Santa Claus” and the arrival 

of Peabody Santa. Santa then 

magically illuminates the 30-foot 

Christmas tree in the lobby strung 

with 20,000 lights. It takes 20 

Holliday Flower florists seven hours 

to assemble and decorate this tree. 

For many years Holliday Flowers 

has decorated the Peabody including 

600 feet of lighted garland, 

approximately 11 other Christmas 

trees throughout the hotel, holiday 

wreaths, and outdoor décor. 

The gingerbread aroma emanates 

from, yes, gingerbread! For the past 

10 years, award-winning pastry 

chef Konrad Spitzbart has created 

a gingerbread display near the 

lobby entrance. Past themes have 

included a Christmas village, lifesized 

gingerbread house, Thomas 

the Train, and the Grinch. The 

pastry kitchen has been at work 

since September on the gingerbread 

display, which this year will be 

a European Christmas village. 

Assembly begins the week before 

Thanksgiving and final touches are 

added to bring it all together. 

You can duck into the lobby for 

musical cheer provided by local 

choirs beginning after Thanksgiving 

and ongoing until a few days 

before Christmas, 11 a.m. to noon, 

Monday through Friday. Three 

Santa Teas at Chez Philippe are 

scheduled for Sundays in December 

(8, 15, 22). These are high tea 

affairs with seasonal tea sandwiches 

and festive sweets with a visit from 

the big guy himself. 

The holiday season culminates at 

the Peabody with a blowout New 

Year’s Eve party. Chez Philippe and 

Capriccio Grill restaurants within 

the hotel host elegant dinners. 

Two bands and a DJ play in the 

continental ballroom, with doors 

open and music flowing through 

the hotel. Balloon drops, one in the 

ballroom and one in the lobby over 

the fountain, add to the festivities. 

For a more intimate New Year’s Eve 

a jazz trio plays in the Corner Bar. 

As David Cohn wrote in his 1935 

book “God Shakes Creation,” “The 

Mississippi Delta begins in the 

lobby of the Peabody Hotel… If you 

stand near its fountain in the middle 

of the lobby, where ducks waddle 

and turtles drowse, ultimately you 

will see everybody who is anybody 

in the Delta.” This is never truer 

than during the season of holiday 

traditions. 

Go to peabodymemphis.com for 

more information on events and 

reservations. 



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calendar 

TREAT YO’ SELF! 

NOV+DEC 

by Robin Beaudoin 

November 2 

RHODES MASTER SINGERS CHORALE 

AND MEMPHIS SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA 

MCNEILL CONCERT HALL, 7:30PM 

RHODES COLLEGE, 2000 N. PARKWAY, MEMPHIS 

Special guests will be composers Jocelyn Hagen and Timothy 

Tackach. $15 general adm. at the door. Free with Rhodes ID. 


PEGASUS SILENT AUCTION 

THE PARKVIEW, 6-8PM 

1914 POPLAR AVE, MEMPHIS 38104 

Mystic Krewe of Pegasus’ annual silent auction will benefit 

Shelby County Drug Court Foundation. 

$20 admission includes food and wine. 

Please visit www.32auctions.com/pegasus2019 for auction 

items and information. 

November 8-23 

RUTHLESS! THE MUSICAL 

NEXT STAGE AT THEATRE MEMPHIS 

630 PERKINS EXTENDED, MEMPHIS 

This fast-paced, funny satire on old movie classics like The Bad 

Seed, Ruthless! hones in on 8-year-old Tina, whose ambition is 

unstoppable, at any cost, only to be sent upriver by her mother, 

who finds her own place on the stage. 

Tickets are $35, with discounts for students and Theatre 

Memphis members, at theatrememphis.org 


TRANSGENDER DAY OF REMEMBRANCE 

For decades, transgender people have suffered abuse and even 

death for ideals surrounding the “norms” of female and male 

identity. This holiday honors and memorializes those who have 

face discrimination and stigma. 


FRIENDS OF GEORGE’S 

THANKS FOR GIVING PARTY 

EVERGREEN THEATRE, 8PM – MIDNIGHT 

1705 POPLAR AVE, MEMPHIS 

Kick off your holiday season with Friends of George’s! 

Enjoy a casual evening of music, dancing, cocktails, pop-up 

performances, special presentations, and friends to celebrate 

our community. There’ll be yummy food and a DJ to keep you 

dancing the night away. Tickets at friendsofgeorge.org. or at 

the door. $10 suggested donation. 

December 1 

WORLD AIDS DAY 

On world AIDS Day, rock a red ribbon to help 

raise awareness and funds to help fight HIV. 

hiv.gov/events/awareness-days/world-aids-day 


MEMPHIS WIND SYMPHONY 

HOLIDAY CONCERT 

HUTCHISON SCHOOL WIENER THEATRE, 6:30PM 

1740 RIDGEWAY ROAD, MEMPHIS 

Enjoy sacred and secular holiday music performed by Memphis’ 

finest symphonic band. Tickets: Adults $10; Ages 12 and under 

availble at the door for $5. More info at memphiswindsymphony. 

org/concert-dates-tickets 

December 12-15 

BALLET MEMPHIS PRESENTS: 

THE NUTCRACKER 

ORPHEUM MEMPHIS, 7:30PM, 2PM MATINEE 

225 S. MAIN, MEMPHIS 

Ballet Memphis’ presentation of this holiday classic is in line with 

the grandeur of the Orpheum Theater, and presented with the 

Memphis Symphony Orchestra and over one hundred dancers, 

is a spectacle to behold. 

Tickets and times available at Orpheum-memphis.com 


TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA: 

CHRISTMAS EVE & OTHER STORIES 

FEDEX FORUM, 7:30PM 

191 BEALE STREET, MEMPHIS 

Christmas legend Trans Siberian Orchestra uses electronica and 

instrumentation to bring Christmas memories and new songs to 

Memphis. Tickets start at $36.50, at ticketmaster.com 


NEW YEAR’S EVE 2020 

WITH WALRUS & PEARL 

LAFAYETTE’S MUSIC ROOM, 5PM-1AM 

2119 MADISON, MEMPHIS 

Ring in the new year with favorites from the 1960s to 1990s, 

performed by Memphis bands Pearl and Walrus. VIP packages 

available, including champagne and preferred seating. Visit 

ticketweb.com for more info 

Have an event to list? Submit it online 

at events.focusmidsouth.com

2019 Issue 6 Nov/Dec - Focus Mid-South Magazine

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