2020 Issue 1 Jan/Feb - Focus Mid-Tenn Magazine

FREE 

® 

Serving the Middle Tennessee LGBT + 

Community+its Allies | JAN+FEB 2020 

ISSUE 

BECOMING US 

BUILDING A CONNECTION 

TO COMMUNITY 

LGBT ALLY 

BUICK AUDRA 

ON SHOWING UP, 

BEING HOPEFUL 

CELEBRATE 

DIVERSITY 

MUSEUM OF AFRICAN 

AMERICAN MUSIC PREPARES 

SUMMER OPENING 

RACHEL 

& DORSHA 

JUDGE RACHEL BELL AND DR. DORSHA JAMES 

TALK MARRIAGE, CAREERS AND ADVOCACY 

INSIDE: 

EAT, 

DRINK AND 

BE MARRIED 

PLAN THE 

PERFECT DAY

Your Nashville Symphony 

Live at the Schermerhorn 

PROKOFIEV’S 

ROMEO & 

JULIET 

JANUARY 10 TO 12 

january 16 to 18 

Guerrero Conducts 

NFM WROCŁAW 

PHILHARMONIC 

A CAPPELLA DISNEY 

SHOWSTOPPERS 

january 21* 

january 24* 

in concert 

CENTENNIAL CELEBRATION 

A DIAMOND ANNIVERSARY LOVE STORY IN SONG 

january 26 

Star-Studded Tribute • february 13 

Valentine's with 

Patti 

LaBelle 

february 6 to 9 

® 

february 14 

*Presented without the Nashville Symphony. 

615.687.6400 

NashvilleSymphony.org 

CONCERT PARTNERS 

WITH SUPPORT FROM

theme 

“If you can’t fly, then run. If you can’t run, 

then walk. If you can’t walk, then crawl, 

but by all means, keep moving.” 

— MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. 

ISSUE 

JOURNEY / JAN+FEB 2020 / focusmidtenn.com / Page 3

EDITOR’S NOTE 

A new year, a new journey. That is 

what 2020 will bring and we will be 

here to celebrate you every step of 

the way. This year will continue a new 

journey for me as 

Managing Editor. I am 

excited to help bring 

the stories of the 

people and places in 

our community to life! 

In this issue, we 

provide stories and 

resources to help you 

with every stage of 

your life journey. From marriage to 

saying goodbye to a beloved family 

member and even helping our youth 

find their way, we have you covered. 

We were beyond excited to catch up 

with Judge Rachel Bell and Dr. Dorsha 

James to see how life has changed 

since their nuptials in 2017. Be sure 

to check us out online as well where 

we will continue their story on the 

community events with which they are 

now involved. 

We are also delighted to continue 

our new advertising section where you 

can find small businesses that support 

our community. We need to make 

sure we are showing them support 

by patronizing these local businesses 

whenever the chance comes around. 

We are geared up for 2020 with 

some exciting stories coming your 

way. We are always wanting to hear 

from our readers, so be sure to drop 

us a note via e-mail or social media 

and tell us what is going on in the 

community. If there is someone out 

there doing great things, let us know 

so they can get the recognition they 

deserve! You can always reach me at 

editor@focusmidtenn.com. 

Finally, be sure to join us in April as 

we team up with Wild Goose Chase 

Events to bring you the Inaugural 

Nashville Clue Party! This event is 

to help support local non-profits 

including our very own Focus Center 

Foundation. For more information visit 

nashvilleclueparty.com. 

MANAGING EDITOR & 

DIGITAL MEDIA 

Lauren Means 

Focus ® Middle Tennessee is all about LGBT+ people and their allies…their work, play, families, 

creativity, style, health and wealth, bodies and souls. Our focus is on you. 

Focus ® Middle Tennessee is published bi-monthly and distributed free throughout the greater 

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without limitation to the design, advertisements, art, photos and editorial content, as well 

as the selection, coordination and arrangement thereof, is Copyright ©2017, Focus ® Middle 

Tennessee. All Rights Reserved. No portion of this magazine may be copied or reprinted 

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JAN+FEB 2020 

CONTENTS 

3 THEME: JOURNEY 

6 DEAR ALLIE 

You deserve nurturing, self care 

8 CHAMBER CHAT 

LGBT Chamber focuses on 

milestones in 2020 

9 FOOD+DRINK 

Eat, drink and be married 

10 LGBT+ ALLY 

Buick Audra: Showing up 

and staying hopeful 

10 

14 

24 

12 COMMUNITY 

Lambda Car Club International: 

Love of cars and love of people 

14 COVER STORY 

Catching up with advocates Judge 

Rachel Bell and Dr. Dorsha James 

18 FAITH+SPIRITUALITY 

Tony Woodall’s lifelong process of 

finding truth 

20 ARTS+ENTERTAINMENT 

National Museum of African 

American Music prepares for 

summer opening 

22 PET FOCUS 

Beyond the Rainbow Bridge: 

Aquamation comes to Tennessee 

24 LGBT+ YOUTH 

Becoming Us: Building a connection 

to community 

22 

26 TRAVEL 

Pride Journeys makes a stop in 

Wichita, Kansas 

30 JAN+FEB EVENTS 

26 

OUR NEXT ISSUE 

RHYTHM 

MAR+APR 2020 

Submit story ideas: 

editor@focusmidtenn.com 

Editorial submission deadline: Feb. 11 

Advertising inquiries: 

sales@focusmidtenn.com 

Ad space reservation deadline: Jan. 31 

Page 5 / focusmidtenn.com / JAN+FEB 2020 / JOURNEY 


life 

DEAR 

DARA 

Dear Allie, 

I think being gay is sort of wearing 

me out. Every day there’s a new battle. 

I’m tired. I’m angry. I’m sad. If it’s not 

my family giving me grief, it’s the damn 

government wanting to tell me how 

unimportant I am. I’m only 23, but I’m 

ready to give up on everybody and just 

run away. 

Thanks, 

Dreaming About 

Running Away 

Dear DARA, 

It is a hard gig to be a thinking, caring 

LGBTQ+ person in this world. It is even 

harder if you feel as if everyone—your 

family and your society—treats you as 

if you are less worthy of basic human 

dignity than others. I hear you, and I 

believe you can find a more sustainable 

way to navigate this world. Let’s see if I 

can help. 

LGBT+? 

YOU DESERVE 

NURTURING, 

SELF-CARE 

by Sarah Rutledge Fischer 

We’ve all heard a lot about self-care over the last several 

years, and I’m sure you agree that far too much of that 

messaging was focused on nothing more than selling 

us charcoal face masks and essential oil regimens. But 

real self-care has nothing to do with consumerist beauty 

culture. In a society that continually negates your value, 

investing in real, lasting self-care is an act of revolutionary 

defiance. As lesbian warrior-poet Audre Lorde famously 

wrote, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence. It is selfpreservation, 

and that is an act of political warfare.” 

Real and lasting acts of self-care are not cosmetic. 

They require a discipline that comes from a daily choice 

to believe that you are worthy of investing in. And 

you are. 

You are worthy of rest. You might choose to invest in 

a consistent bedtime routine, but you might also work 

on separating your sense of self-worth from your daily 

accomplishments. Try a nightly ‘I Did’ list (as opposed 

to a morning ‘To Do’ list) and challenge yourself to 

Page 6 / focusmidtenn.com / JAN+FEB 2020 / JOURNEY

acknowledge non-traditional accomplishments 

like “rested for an hour” and “doodled a bit” right 

alongside “wrote an article” and “washed the 

dishes.” 

You are worthy of good fuel. Consider what 

you take into yourself and whether it nurtures you 

or saps your strength. Honor your physical body 

by trading your go-to junk food or empty-calorie 

diet food for nutrient-rich fruits, vegetables, and 

proteins. If you consume a constant news cycle, 

consider trading it for intentional study in a subject 

that inspires you. If social media is your downfall, try 

swapping it for a new creative practice. 

You are worthy of financial stability. If you 

struggle with money, real self-care might mean 

forgoing that so-called-splurge and instead taking a 

realistic look at your income and expenses. Making a 

plan to maintain regular expenses while also working 

towards long term goals may seem intimidating, but 

having a grasp of your finances means no one but 

you decides where your money goes. 

You are worthy of physical and mental health. If 

you have always put your own health last, change 

the script and refuse to believe that your health is 

not worth investing in. If you can afford it, make 

regular appointments with a doctor, a dentist, and an 

LGBT+ positive therapist, and if you can’t, honor 

yourself with one daily mental health practice like 

meditation or journaling. 

Now, I’m advocating self-care as a way to help you 

shore up your boundaries with both your family and 

the world. It is easy to talk about setting appropriate 

boundaries, but when you are gripped in battle and 

exhausted from the fight, it is hard to look at your 

adversary and start building a boundary between 

yourself and them. Instead, stop giving your time 

and attention to those who diminish you. Turn 

away from them and towards yourself and invest in 

practices that honor your self-worth. 

As you build these practices and set protective 

boundaries around them, you will find that you 

have also strengthened the boundaries between 

yourself and others. As it becomes second nature to 

prioritize your own care, you will have more strength 

to take on the struggles you have set aside. When 

you invest in yourself, you have more inner resources 

to channel your strong and valid emotions into 

action. And that can change the world. 

That should get you started. 

Your friend, 

Allie 

To submit your own question, email Allie at 

Allie@focusmidsouth.com. Focus Mid-South 

reserves the right to edit letters for length 

and clarity. 

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usiness 

LIFE JOURNEY: 

LGBT CHAMBER FOCUSES ON MILESTONES IN 2020 

by Joe Woolley | photo courtesy of Nashville LGBT Chamber of Commerce 

The Nashville LGBT 

Chamber is working hard 

for our members, the 

LGBT+ community, and 

Nashville as a whole, to 

be the best place 

to do business 

that’s equal and 

open for all. 

We advocate 

and educate 

on behalf of our 

individual, small 

business, corporate, 

and nonprofit members 

who share the values of 

promoting equality and 

diversity in business and 

society. Contact us at info@ 

nashvillelgbtchamber.org or 

visit nashvillelgbtchamber. 

org for more info. 

Membership Campaign - 

Life Journey 

This year we are hosting 

membership drives to bring 

even more diversity 

and value to our 

members. We 

are kicking off 

2020 with Life 

Journey. We 

are focusing on 

members that can 

help the community 

with milestones: 

education, weddings, family 

growth, retirement, death, 

taxes, etc. 

Monthly Networking Event 

- Brewing Up Business - 

Liberty Party Rental 

Brewing up Business is 

Seeing 

business in 

full color. 

ADVOCATE. EDUCATE. CONNECT. 

The Nashville LGBT Chamber exists to improve the entrepreneurial opportunities for 

its members and, in so doing, strengthen the Nashville business community at-large. 

We’re a pipeline for talent, a go-to resource for companies looking to improve their 

diversity and inclusion initiatives, and an advocate for historically marginalized voices 

in the professional places where they matter most. 

To learn about our membership benefits (business or individual), 

please visit nashvillelgbtchamber.org 

our monthly networking 

mixer, which is free for 

members and first-time 

guests. Our first networking 

event of the year will be at 

a member that can help 

you with an event in your 

life, no matter what that 

event may be. Join us at 

Liberty Party Rental on 

Thursday, January 16 from 

5:30 - 7:30 pm. Food and 

beverages will be served. 

Come give the chamber a 

test drive and connect with 

our network! 

Session 

The Legislative Session 

has started up again. We’re 

ready to beat back all of 

the anti-LGBT legislation 

we fought last year and 

we’re expecting even more 

discriminatory bills to be 

presented. Businesses can’t 

attract and retain the talent 

they need when Tennessee 

introduces or passes this 

type of legislation, it’s also 

just wrong. Our businesses 

are leading the opposition 

to fight back against them 

and we’re organizing them 

into action. Stay alert by 

joining our mailing list. 

Predators Pride Night 

For the fifth year, we are 

working with the Nashville 

Predators to present 

Predators Pride Night! 

We are excited to partner 

with Nashville PRIDE this 

year as well! The National 

Hockey League (NHL) 

and Predators invite the 

LGBT+ and ally community 

to Bridgestone Arena on 

Tuesday, February 18 to 

MORE INFO 

To learn more about 

Joe Woolley and the 

Nashville LGBT Chamber 

of Commerce, please visit 

nashvillelgbtchamber.org. 

watch the Predators take 

on the Carolina Hurricanes. 

We’ll help turn Smashville 

blue and gold but with lots 

of rainbows. Each year 

the Predators go bigger 

and bigger with their 

commitment to diversity 

at games and showing all 

are welcome. Any Pride 

Night ticket holder is 

invited to attend a pregame 

reception hosted by 

the chamber at the arena. 

Everyone that attends 

will get a limited edition 

“Predators Pride Night” 

shirt. Get your tickets now 

before they sell out! 

Brewing Up Business — 

Top Golf 

On Thursday, March 19, 

we are excited to be at 

Top Golf for our monthly 

networking mixer. Come 

hit a couple of golf balls 

while you do business and 

network. This is one you 

don’t want to miss! 

LGBT Certified Businesses 

We are constantly 

certifying LGBT Business 

Entreprises. Certification 

is a great way to level the 

playing field for LGBT 

businesses through the 

procurement process. 

Certification is normally 

$400 but waived if you’re 

a chamber member. 

Contact us to get 

certified. 


food+drink 

Eat, drink and BE MARRIED! 

by Lauren Means 

Planning for a wedding 

can be stressful but 

it should also be fun. 

Beyond the RSVP chasing, 

unexpected costs, and 

trying to accommodate 

everyone, there’s the food. 

The menu planning, the 

cake tasting, and of course, 

the bar menu. Something I 

learned while planning my 

own wedding is that it’s 

important to savor these 

moments and enjoy the 

journey. Here is some reallife 

advice from someone 

who’s lived through it. 

First things first, you 

have to have a solid 

headcount and solidified a 

venue. Without these two 

items, any planning you 

do around food and drink 

will be for naught. Once 

you have those secured, 

you can start to decide 

the menu for the event. 

You must decide on the 

type of meal you want: a 

sit-down, formal dinner; a 

serve-yourself buffet; or a 

casual passed bites event. 

This can also depend on 

your venue. Some expect 

certain things like how food 

is served and some require 

the use of their in-house 

catering. 

Dinner is Served 

A sit-down dinner is more 

formal and traditional. 

Typically, you’ll meet with 

your caterer and pick two 

to three entree options 

and have people send their 

choice back with the RSVP 

for the wedding. You’ll 

need to spend time doing 

a seating chart, choose 

table settings, have a solid 

timeline and make sure 

everyone RSVP’s with their 

meal choice in time for the 

caterer’s deadline. For this 

option, you need hard guest 

count numbers. 

A buffet is a more casual 

option. You pick the food 

you want to be served and 

it’s prepared in a larger 

quantity than single person 

plates. This option would 

be ideal if you don’t have 

a firm guest count, think 

you’ll have extra guests, 

or if you do not want the 

headache of a seating chart 

and confirming RSVPs. 

This allows people to eat as 

much as they like and could 

provide you with some 

leftovers to nosh on after 

the event. 

For a more simple 

approach, you could opt 

for passed bites. If you’re 

wanting a shorter reception, 

this might be for you. With 

the help of your caterer, 

you’ll select a few amusebouches 

– single, bite-sized 

hors d’œuvres – that will be 

rotated around the room by 

servers. You can have some 

cocktail tables placed for 

people to stand around but 

typically there isn’t much 

involved with table settings. 

There are some things 

to keep in mind regardless 

of the dining option you 

choose. Make sure you 

MORE ABOUT 

For a listing of LGBT+ 

friendly vendors 

and planners 

visit our listing 

of #FocusFaves 

at directory. 

focusmidtenn.com 

label foods with potential 

allergens. Steer clear of 

raw or unpasteurized foods 

to avoid food poisoning. 

If you are serving alcohol, 

you must serve some type 

of food. 

Drinks on Me! 

Speaking of alcohol, 

if you’re planning to 

incorporate it into your 

reception, plan wisely. 

Focus has spoken to 

caterers and event planners 

in the past and the most 

important advice is always 

about the planning. 

Ensuring you have the 

proper guest to bartender 

ratio will keep lines 

running smoothly. Also, 

making sure each server 

is Alcoholic Beverage 

Control (ABC) certified is 

key to a properly tended 

event. Your event planner 

or caterer should be able to 

guide you on these topics. 

There are often questions 

on etiquette when it comes 

to open bar vs cash bar. 

Even on a limited budget, 

you can have alcohol 

without having to go the 

cash bar route. Offer beer 

and wine only or choose 

one or two hard liquors to 

pair with available mixers. 

Skip the champagne toast 

to save some money on 

your budget. Most people 

won’t even drink a full 

glass. Don’t get caught 

up in “Pinterest Perfect” 

signature drinks. While they 

can be fun, this can be cut 

if cash is limited. 

If you choose a cash bar, 

that’s totally ok. This is 

your wedding. Just make 

sure to make a note of it 

on the invitation so people 

can come prepared with 

cash in hand. No matter 

how you handle the alcohol 

selection, make sure you 

have taxi and rideshare info 

posted in case someone 

celebrates a little too hard. 

Let Them Eat Cake 

My favorite part of the 

food planning was cake 

selection. Nowadays, there 

are so many options. From 

traditional tiered cakes 

to donut cakes, and even 

wedding pies, there is 

bound to be something 

for every palate.For our 

wedding, the tasting was 

not only important in the 

selection of the type of 

dessert but it was also like 

an interview of the person 

making our cake. For us, 

the cake was an expression 

of our journey to being 

wed. We wanted to make 

sure the baker was able to 

capture this. 

During the tasting, we 

were able to try new takes 

on traditional cakes and 

even sample some original 

options. We decided on a 

more traditional approach 

but the sky was the limit. 

We also saved our top tier 

but it did not make it past 

the week after the wedding. 

Don’t be afraid to buck 

tradition. 


lgbt ally 

by Lauren Means | photos courtesy of xxx 

BUICK AUDRA: 

SHOWING UP, STAYING HOPEFUL 

An ally to the LGBT+ community is someone who supports 

LGBT+ people and equality, both publicly and privately, and 

stands up for LGBT+ rights and representation. Sometimes 

an ally goes a step further and advocates for or against particular 

policies that affect the community. Buick Audra is one of these 

allies. A musician originally from Miami, Buick has lived in Nashville 

for close to 12 years with her husband and two cats. She’s also lived 

in Los Angeles, Boston and Brooklyn. “I moved here from Brooklyn 

because I was coming down here somewhat frequently to write and 

perform, and it seemed like an easier place to make my music more 

of a priority,” she says. The move was a good one for her music 

career but it has also been great for our LGBT+ community. 

As you might have 

noticed over the years, 

Tennessee has been 

bombarded with many 

anti-LGBT+ bills. There 

are advocacy groups who 

are at Cordell Hull for 

the legislative sessions 

day after day beating 

back discriminatory bills 

throughout the year. 

by Lauren Means | photo courtesy of Kurt Grenig 

The Tennessee Equality 

Project (TEP) is one of 

those groups. If you have 

ever been up there during 

one of these legislative 

days, you may have seen 

Buick fighting alongside 

her fellow TEP activists. 

She says since arriving in 

Tennessee she’s become 

more involved in activism 

around the issues she cares 

about. “There are some 

incredible people doing 

strong work in this activism 

community. I feel lucky 

to be part of what they’re 

working on,” says Buick. 

When asked what drives 

her to be an ally to the 

community she says she 

never knows quite how to 

answer the question. Buick 

says, “Part of the answer 

is that I can’t imagine NOT 

being an ally and advocate. 

I got involved in HIV and 

AIDS activism as a teen and 

was also attending group 

meetings for the LGBTQ+ 

community and allies at 

that same time, and it’s 

just continued for the rest 

of my adult life.” She does 

say being in Tennessee 

has made the work she 

does seem more urgent. 

Buick explains, “This state 

legislature has a long way 

to go toward reflecting 

equality, and until then, I’m 

more than happy to keep 

showing up and making 

sure they hear our voices.” 

She goes further to say, “I 

am for equality and dignity. I 

think being an ally and/or an 

activist is the very least each 


PREPARED 

MEALS. 

DELIVERED. 

DINNER IS AS EASY AS 1,2 & 3! 

photo 

courtesy of 

EJ Holmes 

Dawson 

of us can do. It’s important 

to be an ally who listens and 

learns from suggestions 

and experiences, and I 

will continue to shape my 

participation accordingly. 

Showing up for equality 

and dignity is part of my life 

purpose, however long it 

takes.” 

She does have advice 

for other allies looking to 

become involved or increase 

their involvement. “Do 

something. Do anything,” 

says Buick. She continued 

by saying, “Doing nothing 

accomplishes exactly 

that – nothing.” There are 

some things that anyone 

can do such as calling your 

representative, writing 

to congress and even 

attending lobbying training. 

Hope drives her to keep 

showing up and speaking 

out. Buick says, “Stay 

hopeful. Everyone I admire 

in the greater movements, 

historically speaking and 

in the present, had/have 

hope. Harvey Milk talked 

about it, Bryan Stevenson 

talks about it, and I try to 

talk about it and keep it 

with me. Without hope, 

anger and defeat have a 

greater chance of winning.” 

In addition to being 

an ally and advocating 

for equal rights, Buick is 

currently working on two 

music projects. “Hold On to 

Yourself,” a new album from 

Friendship Commanders, 

a heavy melodic duo that 

she shares with drummer 

Jerry Roe, to be released 

Spring 2020. The other 

is “Conversations with 

My Other Voice,” her first 

solo release in nine years 

coming in Summer 2020. 

MORE ABOUT 

BUICK AUDRA 

For more information on 

both of these projects 

visit buickaudra.com and 

friendshipcommandersband.com. 

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community 

START 

YOUR 

ENGINES! 

by Joey Amato and Kerry Garner 

photos provided by Lambda Car Club International 

Do you like cars? So do we! Lambda 

Car Club International (LCCI) is the 

largest car club for LGBT+ and LGBTfriendly 

automobile enthusiasts in the 

United States. Founded in 1981 originally 

as “Gay Old Car Owners Society”, LCCI has 

grown to include 32 regional chapters, with 

a membership of over 1,800 throughout the 

United States and Canada. 

All regions of LCCI 

are very inclusive and 

support members from 

different races, religions, 

gender identities, 

sexual orientations and 

socioeconomic levels. If 

you’re into cars, whether 

it’s an acquisitive obsession 

or it’s just interest from 

afar, you are welcome 

to participate. Owning 

a certain type of car is 

NOT a prerequisite for 

membership, only the love 

for things automotive. 

The local chapter, based 

in Nashville, started 12 years 

ago and covers Middle 

Tennessee, East Tennessee 

and Kentucky. 

“While many of the club’s 

events are automobilerelated, 

it also incorporates 

non-automotive social 

functions like movie nights, 

cookouts, and driving 

tours like recent tours 

to Beechcraft Heritage 

Museum in Tullahoma and 

Short Mountain Distillery 

in Woodbury,” states Kerry 

Garner, President of the 

local region. “The club 

has a monthly cruise-in 

at Brentwood Place 330 

Franklin Road in Brentwood 

every fourth Sunday of 

the month starting at 3:00 

pm. You will also see us 

participating in Pride events 

around the region.” 

Garner joined the club 

several years ago when he 

met members at the club’s 

Pride booth when it was 

held in Centennial Park and 

was then invited to a pool 

party/cook-out at one of 

their homes. “I have made 

some amazing friendships 

through the club that I 

know will last a lifetime, not 

only locally but also across 


Feeling Excluded? 

Find a place 

with 

us 

the country!” 

Each year the club has 

a multi-day national meet 

called the Grand Invitational 

where club members from 

across the country travel 

to the host city for the 

event. The Grand moves 

to a different region each 

year. It incorporates local 

car venues and allows 

members to learn about the 

host city and region. The 

Cumberland Region hosted 

the 2018 Grand Invitational, 

which was renamed “Grand 

Ole Invitational”. The event 

was held the week before 

Memorial Day and included 

five days of activities 

including a tour of Jack 

Daniel Distillery, Streetside 

Classics, National Corvette 

Museum, Lane Motor 

Museum, Ryman Auditorium, 

and Country Music Hall of 

Fame. After the downtown 

events on Saturday, Advance 

Auto Parts and Big Machine 

hosted a party at FGL 

House. The event culminated 

with the car show and 

awards banquet on Sunday 

at Marriott Cool Springs 

which included a musical 

performance by Ty Herndon. 

“Without great 

sponsorships from Dell 

and Advance Auto, we 

FOR MORE 

INFORMATION 

Find Lambda Car 

Club International on 

Facebook, or e-mail at 

lccicumberland@gmail.com 

GO TO IT 

What: 2020 Grand 

Invitational 

When: July 26 - Aug. 2 

Where: Detroit 

Online: lccdetroit2020.com 

wouldn’t have been able 

to pull off such a large and 

successful event,” mentions 

club Secretary Richard 

Mikolaczyk. “Our chapter 

was very pleased to be able 

to make a charitable aspect 

to our Grand Ole Invitational, 

where we were able to raise 

$10,000 for Nashville Cares. 

We felt that we should use 

the event to give back to the 

community.” 

This year’s Grand 

Invitational (Queen City 

Invitational) was held in 

the beautiful mountain city 

of Cumberland Maryland 

and included excursions to 

the 9/11 Flight 93 memorial 

in Pennsylvania and two 

of Frank Lloyd Wright’s 

homes, including Falling 

Water. Future Grands 

will be in Detroit in 2020 

followed by Boston, 

Houston and Chicago. 

OPEN TABLE 

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DISCIPLES OF CHRIST 

SUNDAY AT 4:30PM 

1130 HALEY RD. | MURFREESBORO, TN 37129 

OPENTABLECHRISTIANCHURCH.ORG 

Be 

PrEPared. 

Learn more about 

HIV prevention at 

Planned Parenthood. 

866.711.1717 

PlannedParenthood.org/Tennessee 


cover story 


finding their 

BALANCE 

JUDGE RACHEL BELL AND DR. DORSHA JAMES 

TALK MARRIAGE, CAREERS AND ADVOCACY 

by Lauren Means | photos courtesy of TennesseePhotographs.com 

Our very first 

issue in July 

2017 featured 

recently 

wed Judge 

Rachel Bell and Dr. Dorsha 

James. Now, almost three 

years later, we’re excited 

to catch up to see how 

wedded bliss is treating 

them and what they’re 

working on today. As 

expected, they’re still hard 

at work pursuing their 

own endeavors while also 

collaborating in life and in 

love. 

Like most married 

couples have experienced, 

there’s a bit of a learning 

curve when you combine 

two personalities under 

one household. It can 

be more of a test with 

two strong, independent 

people. Dr. James says, 

“When you put two 

independent, Type A 

individuals with different 

upbringings in the same 

house, you are definitely 

going to have some 

heated disagreements. 

Over the last three years, 

we both have had to take 

a step back and learn to 

evaluate what the other 

person’s needs are.” Those 

disagreements, however, 

create a new normal as 

Judge Bell explains, “I 

enjoy our healthy and 

challenging debates and 

that neither one of us are 

‘yes’ people. I think that 

would be boring. We both 

bring something to the 

table and I enjoy being in 

this space with her.” 

As busy professionals, 

Judge Bell and Dr. 

James share in domestic 

responsibilities and they 

make sure to carve time 

out for date night each 

week. “In order to build 

a successful relationship, 

especially when you both 


“ 

“MOST PEOPLE ARE 

REALLY CURIOUS 

AND JUST WANT 

THE SPACE TO ASK 

QUESTIONS ABOUT 

OUR RELATIONSHIP 

AND OUR LOVE.” 

have demanding careers, 

[it] requires that you are 

intentional in making sure 

that you make time for 

each other. This isn’t easy 

to do all the time, but the 

consequences of not doing 

so would be much worse,” 

says Dr. James. 

Judge Bell echos these 

sentiments saying, “It’s 

taken us some time to 

realize that a healthy love/ 

life balance is important. 

Once we worked the kinks 

out, it’s been great.” She 

credits meal prep service 

Blue Apron for helping them 

set time aside daily to spend 

together outside of work 

functions. “Dorsha preps 

the meals, I cook the meals 

and then Dorsha cleans up 

behind us. It’s a win-win. 

I love cooking and I love 

us spending time doing 

something like this together 

on a daily basis,” said Bell. 

In the Public Eye 

When you are a 

prominent, African 

American, same-sex couple 

navigating married life, 

you may have eyes and 

ears everywhere you turn 

waiting to make a comment 

on your personal life. 

Luckily for Dr. James and 

Judge Bell, they haven’t 

experienced discrimination 

since their wedding. 

“When I tell people that I 

am married to a woman, 

I am met with a sense of 

wonderment, especially 

when Rachel is around,” 

says Dr. James. Judge Bell 

says while she has faced 

discrimination growing up, 

now, people honestly just 

have questions. She says, 

“Most people are really 

curious and just want the 

space to ask us questions 

about our relationship 

and our love. We are very 

approachable, so we invite 

the conversation. We enjoy 

the panel discussions and 

the events [where] we get 

to share our story.” 

Dr. James does point out 

they both have developed 

a thick skin over the 

years from people they 

have dealt with in their 

chosen professions. She 

says, “Rachel and I always 

say that we both work in 

fields where we have had 

some really cruel things 

said about us to our face, 

so it’s fairly difficult to 

hurt our feelings.” While 

it may be difficult to hurt 

their feelings, Judge Bell 

points out that they are not 

immune to hurtful acts and 

discrimination. “I received 

a lot of discrimination 

growing up, in the church, 

some friends and even 

with my family and even 

some from the community. 

However, we’ve worked 

through those issues and 

I am aware now how to 

help others get through the 

pain that comes along with 

being gay,” says Judge Bell. 

She also mentions they 

had close friends and family 

members who didn’t show 

up for their wedding. While 

it may seem hurtful, they 

understand there will always 

be people who aren’t on 

the same page as you and 

that’s ok. She explains, 

“Dorsha and I have always 

said that there is still some 

maturing for some in this 

space and we’ll be sure to 

give them the space to do 

so. Everyone is entitled to 

their opinion. [The] good 

thing here is that it’s our life, 

it’s our love.” 

Action and Reaction 

Although they knew 

they would be making a 

statement coming out as 

married women, some of 

the limelight was a little 

overwhelming for Dr. 

James. She said, “You could 

have never convinced me 

that once I got married 

my wife and I would have 

the impact that we seem 

to have within the LGBT+ 

community.” But it is 


these strong role models 

that many in the LGBT+ 

community search out. 

People want to know it’s 

possible to be successful 

in our professional and 

personal lives while living 

as our authentic selves. Dr. 

James shares that this is a 

calling – “It’s now [our] life’s 

mission to show humans 

that it’s ok to fall in love, 

that it’s ok to marry the one 

you fell in love with, and to 

love them in public.” 

Judge Bell agrees, 

saying, “I do think our love 

and willingness to show 

affection in public, holding 

hands, kissing each other 

at a play, at the movies, just 

walking in the park, just 

like other loving couples 

has allowed people to see 

normalcy in this space.” 

They also acknowledge 

the impact their 

flourishing relationship 

has on acceptance in the 

African-American LGBT+ 

community. Dr. James says, 

“As an African-American 

woman raised in the Baptist 

church, I saw firsthand the 

humiliation, discrimination 

and disrespect of fellow 

church members who were 

known to identify LGBT+.” 

Judge Bell recognizes that 

the community has a long 

way to go in allowing love 

to be exactly what it is, love. 

That is why they make sure 

to attend events and be 

present in the community. 

They know they are one of 

the few openly gay African- 

American couples, at least 

in Nashville, that people can 

identify with. “We want to 

honor this space and do the 

best we can to help other 

humans remove all the 

labels and just love!!” said 

Judge Bell. 

Wedding Bell 

When asked about advice 

for people planning their 

wedding in an area that’s 

hit or miss on support, 

Judge Bell says, “Go for 

it!! Don’t complicate it. 

Go with the option that 

best fits your soul.” She 

also recommends saving 

money on the wedding 

and putting it toward 

travel to see the world. 

However, she might be a 

bit biased but rightfully so. 

“Courthouse weddings are 

fun. Especially when you 

have the officiant, “Judge 

Rachel,” [who] is willing to 

be cool and creative with 

you!! Call my office at 615- 

862-8341, and we’ll take it 

from there,” said Bell. 

Dr. James reflected on 

their wedding ceremony 

and why they decided on 

a more intimate event. 

She said, “We chose to 

have a very small, intimate 

wedding ceremony with 

only a few very close 

friends and family in 

attendance. We figured 

that would be the easiest 

way for us to exchange our 

vows because neither of us 

wanted to plan a wedding.” 

She also said even though 

MORE 

INFORMATION 

For more information 

on all of Judge 

Bell and Dr. James’ 

endeavors visit 

focusmidtenn.com. 

they didn’t run into any 

roadblocks in their planning 

due to it being for a samesex 

ceremony, it’s best to 

have backup plans. “It’s 

unfortunate that we are still 

having to even address this 

in 2019, but if I had to do it 

over without knowing the 

outcome, I would always 

have a Plan B, C and D.” She 

added, “We say that we 

can always take our dollars 

elsewhere.” 

Life in the Fast Lane 

Outside of their married 

life, you would be hardpressed 

to find two 

harder working women. 

In 2017, Bell and James 

started a company called 

Solutions NOW. It’s a 

holding company that 

houses their ventures 

including The NERDs TV 

Network which produces 

“The Judge Rachel and Dr. 

Dorsha Show” and their 

new production, “Venus 

Squared.” Shortly after 

they were married, they 

launched the “I AM…JUST 

HUMAN” campaign which 

led to the LOVEFEST, an 

annual event celebrating 

love at an open, safe, and 

judge-free festival. It’s 

hosted by their non-profit 

foundation, The Ring the 

BELL Foundation. 

Dr. James, an ER 

doctor, has been working 

on launching a new 

telehealth company called 

myURGENCYMD. She 

explained the services they’ll 

provide saying, “What’s 

exciting to me in addition to 

virtual doctor visits is that 

our company also provides 

24/7 Mental and Behavioral 

Counseling as one of its 

benefits. I can’t help but 

think of all of the youth 

and young adults who are 

struggling alone with LGBT+ 

and family issues who are 

afraid of being outed by 

going to talk to a therapist. 

Plus, it’s very expensive 

whereas our pricing is 

only $24.95/month with 

unlimited counseling 

sessions per month.” 

As for Judge Bell, she 

is going into her eighth 

year as an elected official. 

During her tenure, she’s 

created the state’s first 

Community Court, 

launched the state’s 

first Community Justice 

Center, and has hosted 

Saturday Court Dockets, 

Expungement Clinics, 

Indigency Dockets and 

Resource Fairs. Her latest 

project coming in 2020 

is the C.A.R.E. (Creating 

Avenues for Restoration 

& Empowerment) 

Diversionary Court for 

those aged 18-30. It will 

allow low-level non-violent 

crimes to be transferred to 

the Music City Community 

Court. Finally, in fall of 

2020, she will be rolling out 

C.A.R.E. Diversionary Court 

for the LGBT+ community. 

® 

Read more online at 

focusmidtenn.com 


faith+spirituality 

RECONSTRUCTION: 

CHANGE OF HEART, CHANGE OF MIND 

by Selena Haynes 

photo courtesy of Tony Woodall 

There comes a time in 

everyone’s life when they hit 

a turning point. For some, 

it’s a personal realization, 

for others, it’s a lifechanging 

moment. For Tony 

Woodall, though, it was a 

life-long process where his 

biblical beliefs were first, 

deconstructed, and then 

reconstructed through eyeopening 

discernment. 

You may recall the 

first part of Tony’s story 

in our 2019 Sept+Oct 

issue where he discussed 

deconstructing his religious 

views. Now we pick up to 

discuss the reconstruction 

of his understanding of the 

Bible, God and humanity as 

a whole. 

Tony grew up in the South 

with a very conservative, 

far-right view of life in a 

very fear-based type of 

religious setting. He carried 

these views and led others 

who believed the same for 

20 years. The first 10 years 

of his ministry were in the 

Church of Christ and the 

next 10 years shifted to nondenominational 

churches. 

Throughout his 20 

years of pastoring, 

Tony’s convictions were 

challenged; challenged 

because he always had a 

bigger heart than what 

his learned, taught and 

handed-down beliefs were. 

Even as a child, he says 

he always had a hard time 

believing that God would 

ever reject a child. He said it 

would break his heart when 

he would hear the preacher 

talk about God sending 

anyone to hell. 

As Tony began 

discovering what he didn’t 

believe, he began exploring 

what he did believe. At 

almost 60 years of age 

now, Tony reflects that 

his deconstruction slowly 

occurred over time but 

acknowledges that it seems 

crazy for someone to wait 

that long to discover truths 

that were right there under 

your nose all along. 

“My reconstruction 

started from seeing in 

scripture things that I’d 

never seen before,” said 

Woodall. “I started reading 

from God’s point of view 

instead of mine.” He found 

when he stopped looking 

at the world the way he 

had known all of his life, he 

was able to appreciate how 

some people feel unloved 

by religion. 

FOR MORE INFO 

plato.stanford.edu/entries/ 

homosexuality 

www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/ 

frontline/shows/assault/ 

bible/doesnotoppose.html 

After having these 

revelations, Tony was excited 

to share his newfound 

understanding with his 

peers, but they didn’t share 

the same views. Instead of 

turning away from them just 

because they didn’t believe 

the same as him, Tony 

embraced the differences. “If 

you only include the people 

that include you, you don’t 

have much of an inclusion,” 

he said. 

Most Christian religions 

follow the teaching that 

God created man in his 

own image. Woodall says 

over time we have turned 

that around to fit our needs 

and what we want God 

to look like. He says, “We 

have flipped the switch and 

created God in our image. 

Each of us imagines God as 

we are trained to see Him. 

If you are a straight, white 

male, then you think God is 

like you – a straight, white 

male. We have created 

an image of God that He 

believes what we believe. 

We say that we actually 

believe what He believes 

because we have the Bible 

to tell us.” By doing this, 

religions are taking big 

stances on things that the 

Bible doesn’t actually take 

stances on. 

One of those big stances 

is homosexuality. Tony 

notes the six passages 

that many religions use to 

denounce homosexuality. 

While discussing these, 


he brings up the fact that 

many of these passages are 

also taken out of context 

as the language at the 

time conveyed different 

meanings. According to Dr. 

Brent Pickett with University 

of Wyoming, “The term 

‘homosexuality’ was coined 

in the late 19th century by a 

German psychologist, Karoly 

Maria Benkert.” Therefore, 

based on when the Bible 

was written the term, 

homosexuality, wasn’t even 

used. The term that was 

used, arsenokoitai, didn’t 

have the same meaning. 

Robin Scroggs, Professor 

of Biblical Theology at the 

Union Theological Seminary 

in New York says, “In I 

Cor. 6:9 and I Tim. 1:10 the 

words usually thought to 

point to homosexuals are 

extremely ambiguous. 

One word, malakos, 

literally means ‘soft’ and 

is no technical term for a 

homosexual. The second, 

arsenokoitai, obviously 

has sexual connotations. 

Since, however, the New 

Testament occurrences are 

the earliest appearances 

of the word, it is not easy 

to be sure what it means. 

John Boswell in his recent 

study denies that it refers 

to a homosexual person 

in general but rather 

specifically to the male 

prostitute, who could serve 

heterosexual or homosexual 

clients. At any rate, the 

sin is prostitution, not 

homosexuality in itself. If 

this is so, neither passage 

condemns homosexuality in 

general.” 

Of course, as with all 

things Bible, there are 

various interpretations, 

some more fact-based than 

others. 

As for Woodall, he plans 

to continue keeping his eyes 

open and helping others 

realize their truth. He states, 

“Once you come to the 

conclusion that we are all 

cut from the same cloth you 

see things differently.” 

Through his journey 

of deconstruction and 

reconstruction, Tony has 

found his true calling – 

loving people. “That means 

I do show up at Boro Pride. 

That means it hits my social 

media. I go to Boro Pride 

because I want to be able 

to put my arms around 

people who have been 

shunned as if they’re lepers 

their entire life and they 

need to be hugged and 

loved by a straight, white 

man, he explains. Woodall 

says, “I am going to spend 

the rest of my life telling 

those people not loved by 

religion, to realize, they are 

loved by God.” 


arts+entertainment 

NATIONAL MUSEUM OF 

AFRICAN AMERICAN MUSIC 

by Buddy Mathis | photos courtesy of NMAAM 

Nashville, Tennessee is the greatest city in the United States. I grew up in Germany in a 

military family and didn’t go to a concert until I was about 20 years old. I met a good 

friend who took me to Nashville to see my first concerts and music acts. As someone 

who grew up with hip-hop culture, I was amazed by how many rap shows Nashville hosted 

from then until now. We saw performances from Murs, The Pharcyde, The Roots – still one 

of the best shows I’ve ever witnessed – and got introduced to promotions like Lovenoise 

and The Boom Bap. With underground rap and neo-soul being my primary go-to when 

it came to listening to music, it was always hard to find a lot of like-minded people who 

had the same interests. Lovenoise, Boom Bap, Cafe Coco and Liquid Smoke showed me 

that not only were there enough of those people around but they were all in Nashville 

having a great time facilitating an inclusive environment for Black music. Once I went to a 

performance at the Boom Bap with 9th Wonder deejaying and someone had a t-shirt that 

read, “There’s Hip-Hop In Nashville.” I’ll never forget that day. 

And yet, whenever I 

speak with people from 

out of town about the 

fact that I love Nashville 

so much, I’m always met 

with the same confused 

responses, “You mean the 

country music place?” or 

“I don’t know how you can 

do it with all that country,” 

and several other canned 

replies. Being someone 

who loves the city so much, 

I can attest to there being 

so much more than just 

honky-tonk. Yes, that’s a 

presence but it’s not the 

most dominating. From the 

annual Pride celebrations, 

our professional hockey and 

football teams, the growing 

textile and clothing districts, 

the industrial scene, and 

so much live music, there’s 

something for everyone 

in and around town. Still, 

people are hard-pressed 

to believe that there’s a 


predominant Black music 

presence in Music City. 

With the opening of the 

National Museum of African 

American Music (NMAAM), 

it won’t be so hard to 

convince people anymore. 

Opening Summer 

2020, the NMAAM is the 

only museum of its kind 

dedicated specifically to 

multiple genres of African 

American music throughout 

the ages. It’ll feature several 

galleries dedicated to 

different eras alongside 

the prevalent music 

styles, significant events 

and the legends behind 

them. Exhibits include 

Wade In The Water: The 

African American Religious 

Experience starting from 

the 1600s, A Love Supreme: 

Harlem Renaissance and 

the Emergence of Jazz, 

One Nation Under A 

Groove: The Civil Rights 

Movement and The 

Message: Urban Renewal 

as well as the Rivers of 

Rhythm Pathways that 

connect each exhibit. 

The way the galleries are 

sectioned off is how Black 

music evolved over time 

to tell our stories. As the 

lives of African Americans 

changed, so did our 

feelings and how we convey 

our message. Starting off 

from African roots, moving 

to slave hymns and leading 

into gospel is only the 

beginning of the journey, 

transitioning to jazz, soul, 

funk, R & B, and of course, 

hip-hop. Instead of a 

singular focus, the NMAAM 

chose to show that all styles 

are connected to each 

other and how we’re better 

for it. Younger generations 

may not realize how 

deep their roots go and a 

museum of this caliber in 

the heart of Nashville will 

show them just how far. 

NATIONAL MUSEUM 

OF AFRICAN AMERICAN MUSIC 

When: Opens Summer 2020 

Where: 211 7th Ave. N., Suite 420 

Online: Visit nmaam.org 

People don’t have to 

wait to see the influence 

of the museum as they’ve 

been hosting events in 

preparation for the opening 

for some time now. Sips 

& Stanzas has been a 

recurring event with the 

series focusing on cultural 

icons and events such as 

Jimi Hendrix, folk legends, 

The Rise of the DJ, Miles 

Davis, James Brown and 

breaking down many 

moments of Black music 

history with insightful 

discussions. This year 

alone a Celebration of 

Legends Gala was thrown 

in which hip-hop pioneers 

Doug E. Fresh and Fatman 

Scoop were attendees as 

well as revered vocalist 

Gloria Gaynor. Events have 

continued monthly with no 

signs of slowing down and 

it seems this is exactly the 

point. 

NMAAM President & CEO 

H. Beecher Hicks, III has 

been working on bringing 

this museum to life for the 

better part of two decades 

making sure that it’s seen as 

a serious endeavor instead 

of a half-hearted publicity 

stunt to attract people of 

color to the area. When 

asked about the museum 

Hicks said, “There’s nothing 

quite like music to bring 

people together. And 

there will be no place on 

Earth that celebrates that 

principle, embedded in the 

history of African American 

music, like the [NMAAM]. 

NMAAM will tell the 

untold story of the African 

American influence on 

the music we all know and 

love today — everything 

from gospel to rock, to hip 

hop, to even country, and 

all the styles and genres 

in between. We’ll be the 

magnet for attracting a new 

set of visitors to downtown 

Nashville and begin to show 

the world that ‘Music City’ 

isn’t about just one kind of 

music, but welcomes and 

includes all voices, sounds 

and people.” 

And to further prove this 

isn’t a flash in the pan, the 

selected leadership doesn’t 

skimp on star power or 

experience, boasting names 

such as Grammy Awardwinning 

artists India.Arie, 

Darius Rucker of Hootie and 

the Blowfish, Cece Winans 

and Keb’Mo as national 

chairs and a host of well 

educated and experienced 

leadership for all aspects of 

the museum, the majority 

Black or African American, 

ensuring that the stories 

exhibited are told by the 

people they relate to most. 

It’s important to have them 

out in front and behind the 

scenes to show how serious 

Nashville and the NMAAM 

is about preserving this 

history. Nothing here is 

whitewashed or watered 

down, told in the purest 

form as only a Nashville 

museum should. 

With so many museums 

in Music City, it makes 

sense to finally have one 

dedicated to the roots 

of every music genre in 

existence today. African 

American music has 

influenced every piece 

of music available and, 

although Nashville is known 

for country, this museum 

will show that none of that 

would have been possible 

without the efforts of our 

Black and brown ancestors. 

So much will be learned 

from people not only 

city-wide but across the 

nation. Visitors worldwide 

will see that Nashville is 

the host to every type of 

music in Music City. After 

this summer I’ll gladly be 

telling friends that I don’t 

have to worry too much 

about being overloaded 

with country because the 

museum connects all of us 

and proves that Nashville 

is much more than people 

imagined. One nation under 

a groove indeed. 


Buy one full day of academy, 

pet focus 

BEYOND THE RAINBOW BRIDGE: 

AQUAMATION COMES TO TENNESSEE 

by Lauren Means | photos courtesy of Beloved Waters 

Coming to terms with mortality is never easy and is even harder when we are planning 

for our beloved pets. It’s a topic most don’t like to discuss, but one we all have to 

decide once our pets cross the rainbow bridge. Will they be buried or cremated? 

This is a very personal 

decision and one that has 

to fit each family. Some 

people choose home burial 

while others might choose 

to have them buried at a pet 

cemetery. If home burial is 

not permitted in your area 

or if you don’t plan to live in 

the same place long term, 

cremation is often the better 

choice. Generally speaking, 

cremation is economical 

and readily available. If you 

choose cremation, you will 

then have the ability to 

always keep your pet nearby. 

There is a new cremation 

option now in Middle 

Tennessee. Beloved Waters 

Pet Cremation in Smyrna, 

TN is the FIRST to offer 

aquamation for pets in 

Tennessee. Aquamation, 

or alkaline hydrolysis, is 

a gentle, water-based 

method of accelerating 

the natural process which 

occurs over time when a 

pet is naturally buried. 

This process was first 

patented in 1888 but the 

rise in popularity has only 

increased in recent years. 

Many universities have 

been using aquamation for 

final remains processing of 

both humans and animals 

for decades. Aquamation 

was used to dispose of 

the cattle impacted by 

the mad cow epidemic, 

as it was one of the best 

methods to neutralize the 

mad cow pathogen. It is 

now available for use with 

smaller, household pets. 

Owners Shay Underwood 

and Mary Jo Yeager came 

from diverse backgrounds 

prior to founding Beloved 

Waters. Underwood 

worked in health and 

beauty care manufacturing 

as a quality manager and 

plant superintendent while 

Yeager worked in education 

as a math teacher and 

administrator. 

They were inspired to start 

Beloved Waters after a friend 

in Seattle lost her dog named 

Texas. Underwood explains, 

“After his passing, Texas was 

cared for by Resting Waters 

Aquamation. My friend 

shared Texas’s memorial and 

aquamation story on social 

media. We were immediately 

intrigued, began researching, 

decided that we wanted a 

gentler option for our own 

pets, and thus Beloved 

Waters was born!”. 

Yeager also explained 

a deep connection to her 

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own pet drove her to push 

for this startup by saying, 

“One of the reasons I’m 

such an advocate for 

aquamation is that my own 

pet, Trixie, is very afraid 

of fire, so for that reason, 

flame cremation isn’t an 

option for us. We are both 

life long pet lovers and 

wanted to offer Middle 

Tennessee a gentle way on 

a sad day.” 

With aquamation, 

a water solution of 

water, potassium, 

and sodium salts 

washes over your 

pet for 18 hours 

leaving behind the 

dissolved salts and bone 

“ash”. The bone ash can then 

be returned to the family just 

as it is done with traditional 

cremation. Beloved Waters 

has different packages that 

provided different keepsake 

options. 

According to Beloved 

Waters, aquamation uses 

90% less energy, has no 

harmful emissions, and 20% 

more remains are returned 

to you versus traditional 

cremation processes. 

With the focus on cutting 

our carbon footprint and 

decreasing emissions, this 

is certain to gain popularity 

over traditional cremation 

in years to come. 

This isn’t a service done 

at your vet’s office, but you 

can opt for this process 

no matter what vet you 

use. Underwood explains, 

“Beloved Waters is working 

to grow our partnerships 

with veterinarians. If your 

vet is not aware of Beloved 

Waters services most vets 

are willing to hold the 

pets remains for Beloved 

Waters to pick up.” You 

would just need to tell your 

vet that you would like 

Beloved Waters to handle 

the aftercare. Then, you 

would need to reach out 

to Beloved Waters directly. 

This can be done by calling 

them or filling out the 

Aquamation Authorization 

form on their website. 

They offer free vet pick 

up in Davidson, Rutherford, 

Williamson, Wilson and 

Bedford counties and home 

pick up is available for a 

nominal fee. You could 

also bring your pet 

to Beloved Waters 

for no additional 

charge. “We have a 

comfort room where 

families can say one 

final goodbye before 

the aquamation process 

begins. Every individual 

aquamation receives an 

ink print with display easel, 

fur clipping, and certificate 

of aquamation. In addition 

to what you see on the 

website, Beloved Waters 

also has several urn choices 

in our showroom. We would 

also be happy to help you 

find exactly what you’re 

looking for as a memorial 

item,” says Underwood. 

No matter the option you 

choose, everyone wants 

their pet to be treated 

with dignity. With Beloved 

Waters aquamation, you 

have the peace of mind 

knowing Underwood and 

Yeager will take care of 

your baby like it’s their own. 

“We treat each pet as an 

individual, addressing them 

by name throughout the 

process because that pet 

was someone’s beloved 

family member. We provide 

a service that we would 

want our own pets to 

receive”. 

MORE ABOUT 

BELOVED 

WATERS 

For more information 

call 615-295-8934 or visit 

belovedwaterspet.com. 

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BECOMING US: 

BUILDING A CONNECTION TO COMMUNITY 

by Lauren Means | photos courtesy of Joseph Clark, Oasis Center 

There have been many 

positive changes made 

within the youth support 

in the LGBTQ+ community 

in recent years. There 

has been an increase in 

acceptance and also more 

discussion around what 

kind of support our youth 

need as they navigate 

the ups and downs of 

adolescent and teenage 

years. Oasis Center in 

Nashville works hard to 

fulfill the support needs 

of the LGBTQ+ youth in 

Middle Tennessee. Over 

the years they have been 

at the forefront of many 

groundbreaking programs 

such as Just Us, Students 

of Stonewall, T.Y.M.E (Trans 

Youth Meet to Empower), 

and More to Me (M2M). 

Oasis Center has recently 

announced a new youth 

empowerment program 

designed specifically for 

middle school students who 

identify within the LGBTQ+ 

spectrum called Becoming 

Us. We spoke with Joseph 

Clark who is the Program 

Coordinator for Just Us at 

Oasis Center about this new 

program, what it means for 

Middle Tennessee youth, 

and the future of LGBT+ 

youth programming. 

Focus Middle Tennessee: 

What is Becoming Us? 

Joseph Clark: Becoming 

Us is a positive youth 

development program 

specifically for LGBTQ+ 

middle school youth. It 

provides space for youth 

to explore and celebrate 

their identities, build 

ABOUT JOSEPH CLARK 

Joseph Clark is the Program Coordinator for Just Us at 

Oasis Center. Just Us is a positive youth development 

program that focuses exclusively on LGBTQ+ middle and 

high school students throughout Middle Tennessee. With 

over 10 years of positive youth development and direct 

service experience, Joseph strives to create a safe and 

affirming space where LGBTQ+ youth feel empowered to 

explore and celebrate their identities, build community, 

and express themselves authentically. 

Joseph is responsible for developing and delivering 

programming through three distinct programs – Just 

Us for high school students, Becoming Us for middle 

school students, T.Y.M.E (Trans Youth Meet to Empower) 

for young people who identify somewhere on the 

spectrum of trans identities. In addition, Joseph leads 

a team of youth in advocacy and leadership – Students 

of Stonewall. In 2019, the Students of Stonewall were 

honored for their work by being selected as the Grand 

Marshals for the Nashville Pride Parade. 

community and connection, 

engage in project-based 

service-learning and to live 

authentically. 

As the only full-time 

staffed and intentional 

program for LGBTQ+ 

middle school youth in 

the state of Tennessee, 

Becoming Us, most 

MORE INFO 

Becoming Us meets the 

first and third Wednesday 

of each month from 5 p.m. 

to 6:30 p.m. Email jclark@ 

oasiscenter.org or check 

out www.justusoasis.org 

for more info. 

importantly, provides the 

opportunity for queer 

youth to simply be in [a] 

space with their peers who 

are also navigating the 

world of adolescence and 

an LGBTQ+ identity. 

FMT: How does Becoming 

Us differ from Just Us and 

other programs at Oasis 

Center? 

JC: Most of our programs, 

including Just Us, focus 

primarily on high schoolaged 

youth. Becoming Us 

was intentionally created 

to deliver programming 

specifically for middle 

school students 10 to 14 

years old. The goal is to 

provide a space for middle 

school youth to develop the 

skills needed to be active 

participants in their worlds 

and build the confidence and 

self-esteem necessary to 

grow and thrive into young 

adulthood and beyond. 

FMT: Why was Becoming 

Us developed? Where was 

the need for this type of 

program found? 

JC: Becoming Us was 

developed as a response to 

the overwhelming amount 

of phone calls and emails 

I received from parents, 


school counselors 

and teachers who 

were looking for a 

program similar to 

Just Us, but for their 

middle school youth. 

I grew frustrated in 

only being able to 

offer the possibility 

of their young person 

attending a high 

school program once 

they became high 

school age. For some of our youth, 

especially those who are in fifth or 

sixth grade, high school is too far 

down the road and they cannot see 

that light at the end of the tunnel. 

They need something now. 

After several months of research 

and planning, I launched Just Camp, 

a week-long summer program for 

LGBTQ+ middle school youth in 

June 2019, as a test run for a middle 

school program. Within 48 hours of 

announcing the program online, all of 

the spots were full with a waiting list. 

Just Camp engaged 10 youth in almost 

300 hours of team building, servicelearning, 

and personal storytelling, 

ultimately reinforcing the need for a 

school year program and serving as 

the catalyst for Becoming Us. 

FMT: What type of successes 

have come from these 

programs at Oasis Center? 

JC: More often than not, being in 

Becoming Us is shared as the high of 

their week during our circle check-in. 

Hearing young people express that 

they now feel accepted and part of 

a community, or that they feel more 

comfortable being themselves is an 

incredible measure of success. For 

almost all of our young people, this 

may be the only outlet they have to be 

themselves freely and authentically. 

Being able to create and provide the 

space for any queer youth to grow, 

celebrate who they are, and to bloom 

is an invaluable success. 

FMT: What are some of the 

unique needs you have found 

with this age group? 

JC: Other than having a bit more 

energy than the high school group, 

their needs really are not that 

different from anyone else’s. They 

“Young people know 

who they are from a 

very early age, and 

we as adults need to 

offer support as soon 

as possible.” 

have the universal 

need to feel respect, 

affirmation and 

belonging. They 

want to be spoken 

to as young adults, 

not children and 

have the need for 

accurate information. 

Ultimately, they want 

and need to be seen 

as having a valuable 

voice and opinion, and 

they expect to be treated as active 

community stakeholders, not passive 

recipients of services. Everything 

we do in Becoming Us is centered 

around their interests and input, this 

program is not for me, it is for them. 

— Joseph Clark 

FMT: Do you see a future where a 

program like this will be needed 

for the elementary age? 

JC: Yes, completely. I see the need 

for an elementary program, at least 

one that serves fourth graders, now. 

Young people know who they are 

from a very early age, and we as 

adults need to do our best to meet 

their needs and offer support as 

soon as possible. The earlier LGBTQ+ 

youth can connect to a community 

of their own and feel seen, valid, 

and worthy, the more likely they are 

to grow and thrive sooner. I believe 

programs such as Becoming Us and 

Just Us help to keep queer youth 

in school, reduce self-harm and 

suicidality rates, feel a connection to 

their community, and increase their 

personal belief that it actually does 

get better. 

FMT: Anything else you would like 

to add? 

JC: As with all of our programs at 

Oasis, Becoming Us is free of charge 

to all youth. We meet on the first 

and third Wednesday of each month 

from 5:00 p.m. – 6:30 p.m., and 

any LGBTQ+ middle school youth 

is welcome to join. Email Joseph 

Clark, Program Coordinator, jclark@ 

oasiscenter.org or check out www. 

justusoasis.org for more info. 

Thank you to the Tennessee 

Department of Mental Health 

and Substance Abuse Services 

for providing funds to support 

Becoming Us. 

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PRIDE JOURNEYS 

WICHITA, 

KANSAS 

story and photos by Joey Amato 

When I found out I had the opportunity to visit Wichita, I was really excited. I’d 

never been to Kansas before (aside from Kansas City) and was eager to see what 

“Cowtown” had to offer. First, a little history lesson. The city actually began as a 

trading post on the Chisholm Trail in the 1860s and became a key destination for 

cattle drives traveling north from Texas to access railroads, earning the nickname “Cowtown.” 

In the 1920s and 1930s, businessmen and aeronautical engineers established a number of 

successful aircraft manufacturing companies which helped transform the region into a hub for 

aircraft production. Wichita got a new nickname, “The Air Capital of the World.” Manufacturers 

including Airbus, Beechcraft, Cessna, Learjet, and Spirit AeroSystems currently operate large 

facilities there. 


In addition to planes, 

Wichita is also known for 

its weather. I know this may 

sound strange, but I was 

really hoping to witness 

some intense storms. 

Kansas lies in tornado 

alley, so I was in full stormchaser 

mode. However, all 

I experienced was a small 

thunderstorm, but it was 

cool nonetheless. 

Wichita is home to 

Tanganyika Wildlife Park. 

Yes, it took me the entire 

trip to remember how to 

pronounce the park’s name 

(Tan-ganyi-ka), but I got 

it eventually. Tanganyika 

offers more hands-on 

opportunities and upclose 

animal experiences 

than traditional zoos. My 

first stop was the penguin 

encounter, an indoor/ 

outdoor exhibit filled 

with cuteness. I learned 

firsthand that penguins 

like to play with shoelaces 

and anything colorful. And 

speaking of colors, they 

also enjoy painting. I left 

with a beautiful work of art 

painted by one of my new 

friends. 

With my masterpiece in 

hand, I headed to the lemur 

feeding area where I had a 

chance to feed the adorable 

Primates. Although 

Tanganyika doesn’t let 

you pet the lemurs, the 

experience was still really 

fun. Tanganyika Wildlife 

Park opened in 2008 

with 15 exhibits and three 

interactive areas. Today, 

they boast over 40 exhibits 

featuring 10 interactive 

stations, over 400 animals 

and 37 successful breeding 

programs. Zoos sometimes 

get a bad reputation, but 

I was really impressed by 

the high level of animal 

conservation efforts and 

care exhibited by the staff. 

After freshening up at 

The Courtyard Wichita at 

Old Town, it was time to 

begin the Wichita Pride 

festivities. The Opening 

Night Drag Show drew 

nearly 400 guests to 

WAVE, a hotspot a few 

blocks from my hotel. For 

a small city pride festival, 

Wichita sure organizes 

a jam-packed weekend 

of events for all ages. 

The following evening, 

families were encouraged 

to attend the Saturday 

Night Pride Party. Although 

it was geared toward 

teens, it was great to 

see a Pride organization 

support all members of 

our community, regardless 

of age, sex or gender 

orientation. 

Sunday afternoon kicked 

off with a Community 

Rally on the steps of the 

historic Sedgwick County 

Courthouse. LGBTQ 

community leaders and 

local politicians gathered 

in front of a crowd of a 

few hundred people all in 

support of LGBTQ equality. 

I was really impressed 

at the size of the crowd. 

Rallies can be hit or miss 

depending on the city, 

but the people of Wichita 

really came out in full 

support. After the rally, the 

Pride Parade began with 

companies including Cargill, 

Cox and T-Mobile taking 

part in the march. It was 

the first time I walked in a 

pride parade as I am usually 

working a booth at the 

festival itself, so this was a 

very memorable moment 

for me. As I strolled along 

the nearly mile-long route, I 

noticed the endless number 

of smiles from not only the 

participants but also the 

onlookers showing their 

support for us as we waved 

our rainbow flags. 

The parade ended at 

Mid-America All-Indian 

Center and the main festival 

began. Hosted by Dick Von 

Dyke, the festival contained 

about a dozen drag queens 

and kings including Cynthia 

Doll and Ms. Amanda 

Love. I quickly noticed how 

diverse the crowd was. 

Every letter of the LGBTQ 

rainbow was represented, 

more so here than in prides 

I’ve attended in larger 

cities. I guess when you live 

in a small city, you need to 

stick together. The Mid- 

America All-Indian Center 

sits on sacred ground to 

the Native American people 

and is highlighted by the 

Keeper of the Plains, a 44- 

foot steel iconic sculpture 

standing at the point where 

the Big and Little Arkansas 

rivers merge. It was the 

perfect setting! 

The celebration 

continued at Boomerang 

and XY Bar, two of 

Wichita’s gay nightlife 

venues. Boomerang prides 

itself in welcoming all 

members of our community 

including those in the bear 

and leather communities, 


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Specializing in your 

custom Wedding Cake 

and Catering needs. 

Set up a consultation 

appointment. 

while XY Bar is the place to go to 

dance with Wichita’s younger gay 

folk. A third bar called J’s Lounge, 

which labels itself an upscale 

dive bar, was also hosting some 

festivities, but I didn’t have a chance 

to visit. My partying days are behind 

me and visiting two bars in one 

night was almost too much for me 

to handle. The Courtyard is across 

the street from XY Bar, so it was the 

perfect place to end my evening. 

I spent the next day walking 

around the city. It was a beautiful 

Sunday morning and felt it would 

be a great time for a leisurely stroll. 

Wichita is home to a lot of public art 

displays and murals as well as the 

Museum of World Treasures, which 

boasts one of the most complete 

skeletons of a T-Rex in the country. 

You know I had to check that out! 

During my stay, a local theatre 

group housed at Roxy’s Downtown 

was putting on a production of 

Tick, Tick…Boom!, a musical about 

turning 30 and not yet realizing 

your dreams. The message really 

hit home as I am one year from 40 

and still feel like I have so much to 

accomplish. In 2020, Roxy’s will 

stage their rendition of The Golden 

Girls. I may have to visit again to see 

that production. 

Although Roxy’s serves food, 

I decided to head to Rain Café & 

Lounge after the performance, an 

LGBT-owned restaurant/bar located 

a block from the theater, in the 

heart of downtown Wichita. The 

decor was really nice and the staff 

was quite friendly. I was told that 

Rain is the place to have brunch on 

Sunday, so I’ll have to add that to 

my itinerary next time I visit. 

The next morning, I woke up 

early and headed to Botanica, 

The Wichita Gardens. Botanica 

consists of 30 additional themed 

gardens and exhibits. The yearround 

attraction is comprised of 

over 18 acres and features over 

4,000 species of plants. As I was 

walking around the park, the staff 

was preparing for their annual 

holiday light spectacle. It was 

barely October, yet it takes weeks 

to prepare and is one of the busiest 

times of the year. 

Even though I didn’t get to 

witness any tornadoes, I still enjoyed 

Wichita. I really didn’t know what 

to expect before visiting, especially 

when it came to the LGBTQ 

community, but I left pleasantly 

surprised at how large and proud 

the community is. If you ever find 

yourself wanting to experience a 

small city with lots of charm, I’d add 

Wichita to your list. 

Enjoy the Journey! 

Joey Amato is the publisher of Pride 

Journeys, a website dedicated to LGBTQ 

travel. Joey has spent over a decade 

in LGBTQ media and public relations 

and currently resides in Indianapolis, 

Indiana. He can be reached at joey@ 

pridejourneys.com 

(615) 375-4934 

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Concerts for migrant and refugee families 

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calendar 

THROUGH 

JAN. 19 

‘HAMILTON’ 

Through Jan. 19 in Andrew 

Jackson Hall at Tennessee 

Performing Arts Center 

(TPAC), 505 Deaderick St., 

Nashville. Lottery tickets 

available at tpac.org 

HAVE AN EVENT TO LIST? DO IT ONLINE AT FOCUSMIDTENN.COM 

JAN 7 

DRUMLINE LIVE! 

7:30 p.m. Jan. 7 at 

Schermerhorn Symphony 

Center, One Symphony Place, 

Nashville. Tickets: $30 and 

more. nashvillesymphony.org 

UPCOMING EVENTS 

JAN 9 

THE GRAND OLE GAL 

OF THE SOUTH: A 

CELEBRATION OF LIFE 

FOR CARMELLA 

Celebration of the life and 

career of George Reed, aka 

Carmella Marcella Garcia. 

George/Carmella coached and 

inspired a generation of artists 

and performers to dazzle 

audiences across the country. 

Featuring performances 

by Chi Chi LaRue, Danielle 

Hunter and Victoria “Pork 

Chop” Parker. 6 to 9:30 

p.m. Jan. 9 at Rivers Edge, 

400 Davidson St., Nashville. 

Tickets: $15, available at 

eventbrite.com. Donations 

accepted to support Reed’s 

goals of going to HIV/AIDSrelated 

community outreach 

and education organizations 

as well as childhood cancer 

research. 

JAN 11 

THE LANTERN TOUR 

II: CONCERTS FOR 

MIGRANT AND 

REFUGEE FAMILIES 

Featuring Emmylou Harris, 

Sheryl Crow, Jerry Douglas, 

Steve Earle and Amy Ray. 8 

p.m. Jan. 11 in War Memorial 

Auditorium at Tennessee 

Performing Arts Center (TPAC), 

505 Deaderick St., Nashville. 

Tickets start at $60. tpac.org 

Tickets at wmarocks.com 

JAN 12 

TANYA TUCKER & 

FRIENDS 

7:30 p.m. Jan. 12 at The 

Ryman, 116 Fifth Ave. N., 

Nashville. Tickets start at $30- 

45. ryman.com 

JAN 13 

CELINE DION 

7:30 p.m. at Bridgestone 

Arena, 501 Broadway, 

Nashville. Tickets start at $80. 

ticketmaster.com 

JAN 24 

‘SECRET SOLDIERS’ 

RECEPTION AND Q&A 

5 to 9 p.m. Jan. 24 at Nashville 

Children’s Theatre, 25 

Middleton St., Nashville. Prereception 

is free admission. 

For tickets to the show, visit 

nashvillechildrenstheatre.org. 

FEB 3 

TOVE LO 

Featuring Alma. 6:30 p.m. 

Feb. 3 at Marathon Music 

Works, 1402 Clinton St., 

Nashville. Tickets: $25. Visit 

marathonmusicworks.com. 

FEB 4-9 

‘MY FAIR LADY’ 

7:30 p.m. Feb. 4-6; 8 p.m. Feb. 

7; 2 and 8 p.m. Feb. 8; 1 and 

6:30 p.m. Feb. 9 in Andrew 





tpac.org 

FEB 6-9 

STAR WARS IN 

CONCERT: RETURN OF 

THE JEDI 

7 p.m. Feb. 6 through 7; 2 

p.m. Feb. 9 at Schermerhorn 

Symphony Center, One 

Symphony Place, Nashville. 

Tickets: $25 and more. 

nashvillesymphony.org 

FEB 9 

RED CARPET EVENING 

5:30 p.m. Feb. 9 at Belcourt 

Theater, 2102 Belcourt Ave., 

Nashville. Tickets start at 

$350, benefitting the theater. 

FEB 11 

KING PRINCESS 

6:30 to 11 p.m. Feb. 11 at 

Marathon Music Works, 1402 

Clinton St., Nashville. Tickets: 

$28-60. Visit eventbrite.com. 

FEB 14 

VALENTINE’S DAY 

WITH PATTI LABELLE 

8 p.m. Feb. 14 at 

Schermerhorn Symphony 

Center, One Symphony Place, 

Nashville. Tickets: $109 and 

more. nashvillesymphony.org 

TYLER PERRY’S 

MADEA’S FAREWELL 

PLAY TOUR 

8 p.m. Feb. 14 at Bridgestone 

Arena, 501 Broadway, 


ticketmaster.com 

FEB 18 

NASHVILLE 

PREDATORS PRIDE 

NIGHT PRE-GAME 

RECEPTION AND GAME 

5:30 p.m. to 10 p.m. at 

Bridgestone Arena, 501 

Broadway. Tickets start at $61 

each and can be purchased at 

www.nashvillepredators.com/ 

pride Price includes exclusive 

Predators Pride Night t-shirt. 

Reception is free and open to 

anyone attending the game. 

FEB 28-29 

ALVIN AILEY 

AMERICAN DANCE 

THEATER 

8 p.m. Feb. 28-29 in Andrew 





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be maintained in the share savings account at all times to join. Fees and other restrictions may apply. Must have 

online banking user name and PIN/password to open account online. Only one Brighter Day Savings Account 

is allowed per member. There is no minimum balance required to open the Brighter Day Savings Account. As 

of December 1, 2019, the annual percentage yield (APY)s for the Brighter Day Savings Account are 5.09% APY 

and 0.50% APY and are subject to change monthly after the account is opened. There is no minimum balance 

required to earn the disclosed 5.09% APY, but the maximum balance to earn the 5.09% APY is $2,500. Any balance 

beyond $2,500 will earn 0.50% APY, which is subject to change monthly after the account is opened. The APYs 

are accurate as of the last dividend declaration date. Fees and other conditions could reduce earnings on the 

account. Please contact Redstone for current share savings rate information. 

*The rate for our Brighter Day Savings Account is 50x the national average at 5.09% APY, based on the national average 

of savings account rates published in the FDIC Weekly National Rates and Rate Caps, accurate as of 12/1/2019. 

https://www.fdic.gov/regulations/resources/rates/ 

Federally insured by NCUA 

615-307-7994 | redfcu.org 

BDS_8.875Wx11.375H_Focus.mag.VErsion2..indd 1 

12/17/2019 4:46:38 PM

2020 Issue 1 Jan/Feb - Focus Mid-Tenn Magazine

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