December Issue III

Design by Emily Zhang ‘23 Graphics by Maggie Song ‘21
opinion 3
Grace Colucci’s Definitive List of the
Ten Best Pasta Shapes
By GRACE COLUCCI ‘23
Pasta. An Italian food staple. The greatest thing carbohydrates ever produced.
One of my four main food groups. Growing up with an Italian grandpa, I have
had pasta on my table almost every week of my life, and for a good reason
too. I have not met a single person who doesn’t like pasta. I mean, who wouldn’t
like pasta? It has fun shapes and sizes, countless ways to cook it, and sauces galore!
Personally, my favorite thing about pasta is all the different varieties. Here is my
definitive ranking of the top ten pasta shapes.
2Penne is even more of a classic form than Spaghetti.
Penne are sharp, chill, collected, and everything that
a freshman law student wants to be. I equate penne to
a young Brad Pitt, post-Fight Club, walking into auditions.
He’s super cool, and he knows that he’s super cool, but
he’s still going to audition with a passion anyway. That’s
what penne is.
4
Spaghetti is a classic pasta, and I’m convinced that
there is no possible way someone could mess up
spaghetti. Spaghetti are like the safe-haven of pastas.
No matter what you try on the menu, there is always
spaghetti. I could say that I’m biased because of my love
for Lady and the Tramp, but that would be totally false.
1Rigatoni, Rigatoni, Rigatoni. Rigatoni is the boss, the
man upstairs, the big kahuna, all in one. Rigatoni is the
ultimate pasta because of its figure, its intricacy, and
its consistency. The pure outline of rigatoni is imposing,
but the reward is sweet. Rigatoni captures everything
you love about pasta and everything you love about what
you put on it, and mixes them perfectly. Rigatoni is the
ultimate pasta.
3
Fusilli. Fu-silli. Subtract the fu. Silli. Silly. Fusilli is a
silly pasta. The twirls on the pasta add another layer
of fun to the pasta process. Technically, the swirls are
there to retain as much sauce as possible, but they add an
extra flair that I personally adore. This was the food that I
loved playing with, even though my parents told me not to.
It’s all in the swirls, man.
6
I’m going to be honest. This one is not the best pastawise.
However, rotelle are very nostalgic for me, as
this was a super fun food that I enjoyed when I was
little. I choked on rotelle when I was six years old, and I
was still able to breathe. Rotelle saved my life, so they get
number six.
5
Angel hair pasta is a delicate delicacy. It’s so light
that it can go with any sauce, but it’s also pasta, so
it will fill you up. Angel hair is great for when you
want pasta, but you don’t want pasta. It’s the perfect inbetween.
8
Ok, I’m going to say it: pipe rigate are a self-aware
rigatoni wannabe. All it does differently is curve like
a rainbow. Sure, it’s cool, but is it rigatoni-cool? Does
it carry the swag that rigatoni hold? The answer is no. So,
because of my obvious love of rigatoni, their subordinate,
pipe rigatoni, are placed at number eight.
7
If my dad ever sees this, he will disown me. This is
his favorite type of pasta, and if he ever heard that I
slandered it, he would get very, very mad at me. The
thing is: gnocchi are good until the added flavor becomes too
much. The entire gnocchi depends on its flavoring, defeating
the purpose of it being considered a pasta. That’s why gnocchi
are this far down (sorry, Dad).
1
0This shape is a big one for Velveeta fans, but not
a huge one for me. Although the space inside the
conch shell-like shape provides a place to hold
the sauces or cheeses poured on it, the feeling isn’t as rewarding
as you would expect it to be. The amount of actual
pasta is there, but the final pasta to sauce ratio doesn’t
hit the spot for me.
9
Farfalle, or bowtie pasta, is a huge childhood favorite
of mine. The bowtie provides a fun, known shape that
makes dinner (or breakfast, I don’t judge) so much more
enjoyable, but the pleasure of the pasta ends there. Often, the
middle space of the bowtie becomes chewy and inconsistent
with the texture of the rest of the pasta. I’ve experienced this
unfortunate textural inconsistency far too often, but it is still
a very solid pasta.