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' OCEAN CITT, N. J,<br />
7 and 9 Saturday Natinw! %39<br />
1675—Bell<br />
LAST TIMES—FRIDAY AND SATURDAY<br />
Zk-fffvld, gloriBtr of the American Girl, virtually<br />
uutdid himself In the mm! gorgeous technicolor<br />
spectacle of all time,<br />
ADDED—FRIDAY and SATURDAY<br />
CHAPTER B<br />
KIN^TIN.TIN in "THE LONE DEFENDER"<br />
Monday and Tuesday<br />
Positively (he funniest and<br />
most appeiliiiK of all dramatic<br />
farcer.<br />
anAU-STAACM,<br />
CA UHIIHI ABiui* ptcruHt<br />
Robert Montgomery<br />
Claude Allister<br />
Joan Bennett<br />
Beryl Mercer<br />
Winnie Lifhtner, Irene Delroy and Charles Judels, In n scene from<br />
Warner Bros, Vitaphone production, "<strong>The</strong> Life of the Party,"<br />
coming to the Doughty theatre next Wednesday ami Thursday,<br />
*ath W ttif1 fl adayfwf|<br />
Kenneth MiicKenna, Basil Rath,<br />
bone, Rita I.uRoy and Louis Bar.<br />
iiorTiiii'Y'S<br />
I-Mdlt laiiior heads the film at-<br />
trill-linn in lioualiiy's lor the re-<br />
iiiiiliiiiir nf tin- wci'k ill his flrsi<br />
cn-fii roriiidy extravaganza,<br />
'Whiiiipi'i'." I'idMie and his as-<br />
i.iiiitcs ciriiiiiily whoop thiUKa<br />
ihis piiiduiliiiii which<br />
iiiHu'h nliirlK in spi-i'dy fashion,<br />
An aliiindiiiii-i' of iiiiiiniiie heau-<br />
iii-s is hiMili-d liy Dnrnihy Kniipn,<br />
win) siuiii-il in ii iiiniili'i of Kurl<br />
MUCPII alii] FlmiMiz Zh-iifchl pro-<br />
liniirt ami who rii'iiiientlj<br />
hiiind r 11• • linii'liuhi itiriiimli tht<br />
hi'.iil I i lii-H a--i Hi'll,<br />
'Thri-e l.ivi- (illiisH." hiisiil "0<br />
Ihe Bliii'i-yului slilUi' play nf Ihe<br />
salni' Iliim- , will lie tin' fi-alliri 1 ,<br />
uii Vi lay nnd Ttiffilay. at<br />
li.iualiij^, •Mi-- iii-1i.HI mMs iitf lo<br />
ii tlinu .«Tiii-i wlii'ii lliri'i' war<br />
itiiiiilirr-: r,'linn lumie lo find<br />
theliiM'lif" nlliciiiliy "drad." What<br />
ilu-v lin in i-iiiniinv t.iiiicliiii 'I'ciwn<br />
thiit ihi'j- :ne aim- uiillii-s 11 fllr-<br />
liim to the top of an unfmisli.-l I 1 '""" '•'•"" 1 ' l >-<br />
1 scraper, projects him from ,i I .-„"'',""•' '""~ nnll '" lu \.{ > ii M ,i> - in u h ; i h they ih<br />
; lulii ii',« ll::in .-IINJKIIII<br />
iiiiH ii !!)?>! i, ;]: • j iiinu^iH^<br />
Here's how tht.<br />
scribes itt<br />
"A belligerent, two-fiw Jersey FtTiHfl As^uchttion ttnd Nutlonul Edltoriut Aaaociatlon<br />
Advertising Heprcgentallve; U. ,1, linndull &, Co., 147 Fifth A?e,<br />
New Vork City,<br />
Ielllhiil AdViTtlHlliK KiipKK.Miuilivi'H: Ni-villi-<br />
8 Wulnui Slri't'l.<br />
mB, 1M0<br />
SHOO, SKEKTER!<br />
| eBteemed mayor blithuly brushed usidu th^ infunt<br />
iw Jersey Tuxpayeis' aHwouiatiun, in his statement<br />
:last week in reply to the Real Estate Board when<br />
one oi' the leadura among them (the Board) is not satisfied<br />
policies of. the govuriinuMit of the HtaU; of New Jersey<br />
„ (jrnliuses to asBiHt in iii'jjaiilziiig groups In various com-<br />
fe, to Cia'lit legislation not pleasing to them. Should lie be<br />
ful, we would probulily have no further usi- for staiu legls-<br />
iiiuniiipal K'lVL'i-iiiiiciit."<br />
««,...^ niude this pass at the faintly-buzzing inaect<br />
Dbably tailed it a day and forgot the incident. But<br />
' vhere we sit, it looks us it' that gnat may shortly<br />
|p into one of those gush-awful Jersey gkeeters<br />
can't be swutcWl away. •<br />
.he dimUirulo of this new tax body is an imposing<br />
• of New Jersey's big business men and heavy prop-<br />
.owners. <strong>The</strong>y propose to sue if something can't<br />
Ine to bring down taxes or at least prevent their<br />
f higher; and to secure more returns for the tax-<br />
f*a dollar.<br />
<strong>The</strong>y hope to work with—not against—state and<br />
Jfcipal officials in a study of the tax problem and<br />
fthem to evolve a plan of relief. <strong>The</strong>y are not. as<br />
suggests, organized for a fight,<br />
„„.„,! nothing will come of it. But with the whole<br />
Fcomplaining about the tax burden, the progress ot<br />
fig will be watched with considerable interest<br />
Jet-vent hope.<br />
mher thin, you YankH. All these South American<br />
IN, there aren't as ninny killed in a year as you<br />
hsh up in traffic accident! ' n B - a >' ><br />
ATTEND TONIGHT'S CONCERT<br />
pOU enjoy high-class music, interpreted by master<br />
«itian«, don't deny yourself the pleasure of the free<br />
rt by the Philadelphia Women's Symphony orches-<br />
4 the high Hchool auditorium, tonight. <strong>The</strong> concert<br />
bnsored by the board of education.<br />
This orchestra, which has been organized nine years,<br />
Jfcron an enviable reputation wherever it has appeared,<br />
F-fact that it is directed by J. W, F. Leman, whose<br />
i Symphony oruhestra fotind favor with thousands<br />
Uiic lovws here this past season, speaks for itself.<br />
;VH!'N bupiiiR thst uur c»«ny IniliuliH don't predict<br />
this winter more than one papooM deep.<br />
Those Goode<br />
Olde Days<br />
In Ocean City<br />
15 YEARH AGO<br />
M AYOR Joseph G. Champion<br />
returned from two weeks uf<br />
hunting in (he Maine woods. He<br />
got two ileer on his trip.<br />
A collage prayer meeting for<br />
the residents north of Hth st.<br />
conducted by the M, K, Church,<br />
was held at the home of Mrs.<br />
Jeffries, 32!* Asbury uv,<br />
Capt. ami Mrs. John Sharp<br />
were on a southern cruise. <strong>The</strong>y<br />
had just left AnhupoliH,<br />
<strong>The</strong> Home Building' and Loan<br />
Amioinaiioii authorlscil Its 7ili<br />
series of Htock.<br />
Health Officer T. Lee Aduiiia<br />
reported the health of the city<br />
%vas never better,<br />
Mrs, 1,. M. CreHse closed her<br />
home in the resort and went lo<br />
i'liiludelphiu for the winter.<br />
* *<br />
20 YKAHH AGO<br />
piCEAN City Coumil, No. 10,<br />
^J t). of A,, held a maBijuerade<br />
reception in the lodjte rooms.<br />
Each member was invited lo<br />
bring one guest and WUH asked<br />
to bring lunch for two,<br />
W, Scott Hand, cashier of the<br />
First National Hank, was named<br />
delegate to the iinmial ennven-<br />
tion" of the Atlantic Peeper<br />
Waterways Association.<br />
<strong>The</strong> hoard of trade met but<br />
because there was no business to<br />
consider, did not fall an official<br />
meeting.<br />
Rabbits and qua!! were re-<br />
reported by hunters lo be very<br />
scarce.<br />
Dr. and Mrs, Allen Carson<br />
was at the Yalo-Priiicetun foot-<br />
ball game.<br />
<strong>The</strong> Giddy 90's<br />
JOBS IN PROSPECT<br />
: of the confusing maze of rumors, concerning<br />
Building to bt: undertaken here this winter, we are<br />
|*ble to sift down the following facts;<br />
<strong>The</strong> city's $173,138 sewer project (marked down<br />
t 1250,000) will'be under way within a short time,<br />
f ded the threatened contest over awarding, the con-<br />
' doesn't delay it. Approximately 100 men will be<br />
yed, and the contractor i» pledged to hire home<br />
fe time limit for bids on the now $125,000 Catholic<br />
expired yesterday. Construction work will start<br />
a few weeks,<br />
aeems fairly certain that at least three of tho<br />
tete bridges to Somers Point will ba built between<br />
jjind spring,<br />
B<strong>The</strong>se three undertakings alone will prove a sub-<br />
iLial factor in ridding the resort of the unemployment<br />
(boo. In addition, of course, are an endless number<br />
ipair and remodeling jobs which will keep a sizable<br />
• of mechanics busy all winter.<br />
hanics busy all winter.<br />
t may be a treasonable utterance,-when we all are<br />
ing the misery of peagimism, but one observer<br />
the opinion that there is less unemployment<br />
Cit th lst winter<br />
rea the opinion th<br />
ean City than last winter.<br />
I <strong>The</strong> colleges are offering a courge on international<br />
•lions by mail. You won't be interested unless you have<br />
ne in the old country.<br />
WHO'LL GET THE CHRISTMAS MONEY?<br />
P Press-Union, of Atlantic City, has been performing<br />
I service to its community by encouraging the public<br />
sen its purse strings and to buy merchandise, upon<br />
fch the newspaper has induced merchants to m»rk<br />
b prices. <strong>The</strong> results seem to be entirely satisfactory.<br />
IThis service as a reminder that some $70,000 in<br />
itmas club funds is to be unleashed in Ocean City,<br />
fcek from Monday. Who'll get it?<br />
|<strong>The</strong> share which is retained by Ocean City B stores<br />
inds in large part upon how hard they go after it.<br />
[time to start bidding for this business is NOW!<br />
TOYS FOR THE TOYLISS<br />
IE most terrible disappointment in the world is the<br />
(tsappointtnent of a little child. And the most pathetic<br />
f disappointed child at Christmas time.<br />
1 <strong>The</strong> fruits of one of the finest deeds of thoughtful.<br />
| this community has ever seen are on display in the<br />
fcroom formerly occupied by Minteer'g, on Asbury<br />
[near city hall. In this storeroom is a joyous guar-<br />
le against childiah heartbreaks this Christmas.<br />
[<strong>The</strong>re you will find hundreds of delightful, glistening<br />
. <strong>The</strong>y are as resplendent as if Santa Claus had Just<br />
id them out of his shop. <strong>The</strong>y are toys already<br />
s onct and discarded. <strong>The</strong>y were collected by the<br />
are and Child Hygiene League and the American<br />
Bon, and rebuilt and repainted by the city firemen.<br />
If you have toys in which your children are no<br />
er interested, you will be helping the good work by<br />
: them at once to the fire department, at city hall.<br />
NO TIME FOR A CHANGE<br />
IS M. TOWNSEND performed a real service for the<br />
arnbtr of Commerce, Tuesday night, when he<br />
id tho re.nomln«tlon of all its present officers, This<br />
i time for a change. President Bevill and his official<br />
art just beginning to show progress, and the<br />
W needs their eWnest, self-sacrificing endeavors<br />
'ai<br />
Just For Fun<br />
T HE tourist rushed Into the<br />
country store. "I wanna,<br />
quart of "oil, some gas, a couple<br />
of spark plugs, a timer, a five-<br />
jjnllon kerosene can and four<br />
pie tins."<br />
"All righty." replied the en-<br />
terprising clerk, "anil you kin<br />
HHserable 'or In the back room<br />
if you wrintii."<br />
A Pullman porter was thrown<br />
from his cur when the train<br />
was derailed. Mil flew 10 feet<br />
through •ihe'nlr before he bit<br />
head IIIKI agiuiist « concrete<br />
post. Hi- lay In u dura rubbing<br />
his heiiil when the uonductor-<br />
eame runiiiiiK up,<br />
"Cheat Sciitt. innn," eried the<br />
(.'ondurtur, "uln'l ynu killed?"<br />
"Nn," niiiii the lmrtt'r getting<br />
lo hiB feul, "Unit iiirierele post<br />
mualu broke inn fall."<br />
He laid a package down be-<br />
fore the tailor. "I've brought<br />
Unit hint pair of troiiHers buck<br />
in he rt'xvateil. You know I<br />
Kit a lot,"<br />
"Kine." aahl the tailor, "and<br />
I hope ynu'vi? hi-miislil ihe bill<br />
In lu lie iweipleii, tnii. You<br />
know. I've slnuil a lot,"<br />
MET A StRPKISK<br />
^\NR day early last weak n<br />
^* young man went iniii u re»-<br />
tauruni on Asbury uv,, and<br />
while there was very much im-<br />
pressed with the young woman<br />
who waited upon him. While<br />
paying his thetk to the proprie-<br />
tor, who acted us cashier, he re-<br />
marked: "What a fine-looking<br />
ftirl you have there, Who in the<br />
worlil is she?"<br />
"Which one 7" inquire!] the<br />
;i • •ruteur,<br />
"<strong>The</strong> one that waited upon<br />
me," replied the meek young<br />
man,<br />
"Good looking is she? H-m!<br />
That is precisely the reason I<br />
married her. She is my wife,<br />
so don't fall in love with her,"<br />
responileil the proprietor, with a<br />
.sinister smile on his counte-<br />
nance.<br />
<strong>The</strong> surprised young man lias<br />
not even been seen in the vi-<br />
cinity of the restaurant since,<br />
FOURTH OFTULY ORATION<br />
IV/IISS KMMA T. MANN,' a<br />
"* patriotic young woman who<br />
hnila from West Philadelphia,<br />
entertained a number of visitors<br />
at the JjUfayette on Saturday<br />
with a Fourth of July oration,<br />
Proprietor Gallagher had the<br />
hotel beautifully illuminated<br />
with Japanese lanterns for ihe<br />
occasion. He also treated his<br />
guests and many visitors lo a<br />
gram! pyrotechnic display,<br />
(<strong>The</strong> above articles appeared<br />
on page one of the Ocean City<br />
Daily Reporter for Mumlsiy,<br />
Julv n, 18S>n,) A<br />
T.eiu<strong>On</strong> Jtily<br />
T WO lablospoona granulateil<br />
gelatine, one-half cup cold<br />
water, two to two and nne-litilr<br />
cups boHlnjs water, one fun<br />
sugar, one-half cup lemon<br />
Jiilne, rind ntifi leninn. Sunk<br />
gelatine 20 mlnuteB In Mid<br />
water, then dissolve In IIOIHIIK<br />
water. Add • aunar, the lemon<br />
Julc(> ani rintl; slniln Into a<br />
mold nnd chill. Beating the<br />
lemon Jelly while It Is jelly-<br />
like willi ii Dover ORB heater<br />
will make il white nnd fluffy.<br />
Oranse. raspberry nr oilier<br />
fruit Jelly mny he mnde In<br />
the same way, using one-lialf<br />
clip of the fruit julep with<br />
lemon niifo to taste,<br />
Uniiin I'IH<br />
Three-fiuarterB cup suisnr,<br />
throe-quarters cup liolllnK<br />
wnler, two tablpanoona corn-<br />
March, one tableipoon flour,<br />
two egg yolks, three table-<br />
spoons lemon juice, grated rind<br />
one lemon, one and one-half<br />
teaspoons butter. Mix dry In-<br />
gredlcnts. add boiling water.<br />
Stir pnnptantly, cooklnK two<br />
minutes, then add biilter, em<br />
yolk, juice nnd rind of lemon.<br />
<strong>Line</strong> pie plate with crust, turn<br />
In mjxture which has been<br />
slightly cooled nnrt Imke pristry<br />
until brown. fool a lilt anil<br />
cover with morlnguo,<br />
A hunter was showing off Ms<br />
colleciiiui of irophipH to some<br />
visitors. He was i-upHiroualy<br />
(.•xpluiiiiiiK how lie acquired tin;<br />
various I'Xliibits,<br />
"Sen Him elephant?" he<br />
askml. "I Hlitil II In my pn-<br />
jillllilS,"<br />
"My Rosh," murmured the<br />
flapper, "how did It net there?"<br />
Clerk: "Now that you've seen<br />
nil the blankets in (he store,<br />
which one do you wish?"<br />
Lady: "Well. I was only look.<br />
Itig for ii friend, and didn't ex.<br />
peel lo buy,"<br />
fJlerk: "Well, ma'am. If you<br />
think she's In thai remainin(<br />
iilnnkiM up there, I'll take It<br />
down For you,"<br />
Hiporler: "To what do you<br />
attribute your sweeesB as a<br />
sulesman?"<br />
Salesman: "Tn the first five<br />
words I inter when a lady an-<br />
swers the door—'Miss—-, is<br />
your mother in?'"<br />
Country Doctor (feeling wo-<br />
man pulse, and trying to put on<br />
his best bedside manner): "Well,<br />
1 suppose you consider me an<br />
old_ humbug."<br />
Female Patient (gasping):<br />
"Well, I never! I had no idea<br />
that you could ar-certain a wo-<br />
man's thought by just feeling<br />
her pulse."<br />
You cun say another Rood<br />
Hind for fipinnnh. Youngsters<br />
aren't selllnis it to work their<br />
way through college,<br />
Maynr of Brushville: "How<br />
ijn you like our new street?"<br />
Visitor; "Oh, is tliat, u street?<br />
tliuiiglil that you were put-<br />
ting in an Irrigation Byatem."<br />
Mrs. Oldbone; "Yes, I know<br />
my face does show premature<br />
lines, but I'll hnve to benr that<br />
iifniction with fortitude,"<br />
Miss Slinrp: "Fortitude! Huh,<br />
I should any at lens! slxtytude."<br />
Kind Lady: "Why don't you<br />
go to work?"<br />
Tramp: "I would if 1 had<br />
Ihe tools,"<br />
Kind Liicly: "What sort of<br />
tonls d(i you want?"<br />
Tnuii|i! "A knife and a fork,"<br />
Men who sins "Oh, Promise<br />
Me Thnt Some Dny You'll be<br />
Mine" keep out nf trouble a<br />
great deal longer tluin those<br />
who Innls! on lixliit' the wed-<br />
dinit date,<br />
Mrs, Jigging, who was rena-<br />
Inii a newspaper, observed to<br />
her husband I lint the paper<br />
contained an article entitled:<br />
"Women Work for the Feeble-<br />
Minded,"<br />
Mr, .llgKtns! "I should like<br />
to know what women have ever<br />
done for the feeble-minded,"<br />
Mrs, .liggins (sweetly)! "<strong>The</strong>y<br />
usually marry them, my dear."<br />
Ezra: "What are these fljin-<br />
peiH doing with all the inisHc-<br />
toe they are buying?"<br />
Hiram: "You'd he surprised,<br />
<strong>The</strong>y are trimming hats with<br />
it,"<br />
His Hearty Endorsement •<br />
T.Wm<br />
L<br />
wmmi CAMP ja<br />
N EW YORK.—Elections are<br />
hazardous events In this<br />
amazing town. During the bal-<br />
loting here, November 4, four<br />
policemen wer» taken off their<br />
regular "beat" near a depart-<br />
ment store and assigned to<br />
fluty at a nearby voting booth.<br />
Hardly had the balloting lot<br />
under way when in rushed a<br />
young woman, greatly excited,<br />
iind summoned two of the po-<br />
lice lo the store, A couple of<br />
burglars) had looted the<br />
pA unique method wm^evii<br />
for flashing lo New Yorkeru<br />
the return:) on election night,<br />
Tho public was told to watch<br />
ihe liuge_ searchlight atop the<br />
. story Rinpire State building,<br />
tallest in the world.<br />
When the great white beam<br />
moved buck and forth from a<br />
vertical to a northerly direc-<br />
tion, Hiiosevelt was leading for<br />
governor. When It oscillated<br />
from vertical to southerly,<br />
Tuitle wiis running ahead.<br />
When the beam finally ceased<br />
moving, it would point steadily<br />
north or south, indicating who<br />
had won,<br />
4 * *<br />
<strong>The</strong> funnieHl slory going the<br />
rounds concerns a wild party<br />
given in Greenwich Vfiliige. Tt<br />
was a costume affair, and<br />
among the eiiesta was a man<br />
named Caesar, whn came at-<br />
tired In the flowing toga of a<br />
Roman senator.<br />
Afier an evening of revelry,<br />
the story goes, Caesar awoke<br />
in the -misty hours of Sunday<br />
morning and sleepily • looked<br />
tiliout him. To bin vast alarm<br />
he found he was lying flat on<br />
his brii'k with ii woodnn sur-<br />
face iibiivti him.<br />
It was evidently a coffin—<br />
until he kicked nut wildly and<br />
discovered ho had been left<br />
alone, lying under a tnhlc,<br />
sit ill atremhlc with fright, In-<br />
rushed to a window, leaped' out,<br />
and lit a strenu for home.<br />
How Would You Play It?<br />
Bridge Authority Propounds Problem Hand, Both In<br />
Contract and Auction; Solution Next Week<br />
• —— By MARY L, MOOBHEAD<br />
(<strong>The</strong> hand to bid and play for next week followi. Miss<br />
Moorhend'a play of this hand will appear under the heading:<br />
"When a slam is safely bWdabli.")<br />
North<br />
-S—A Q<br />
H—A q<br />
D—8 8<br />
C—A K Q J 10 5 J East<br />
S—10 18 5 4<br />
H—K J 10 2<br />
D—i 8<br />
C-T 3<br />
S—9 7<br />
H—9 7 3<br />
D—A K 10 7 2<br />
C—• 4 8 .<br />
South<br />
West<br />
S—K j S 2<br />
*• H—S 6 5 4<br />
D—Q J 7 4<br />
C—8<br />
Following is Miss Moorhead's<br />
play of the hand which appeared<br />
last week:<br />
North<br />
S—A 7 5<br />
H—K83<br />
D—A 10 0 S<br />
C—5 4 3<br />
West E»gt<br />
S—Q J 10 0 8—8 0 4 8 2<br />
H-J 10 7 0 4 H—<br />
D—7 G T3—Q 8 4 8<br />
—Q 0 C—J 8 0 2<br />
S-K<br />
H~A Q 0 8 2<br />
D—K J 9<br />
C—A K 10 7<br />
Distribution is nn important fac-<br />
tor in bridge, not only as deter-<br />
mining your original hid, but par-<br />
ticularly go, in regard to your as-<br />
sisting partner's bid. Before so<br />
much attention was given to dis-<br />
tributions, if a player held three<br />
cards to an honor (A K Q) of his<br />
partner's original bid, he would he<br />
quite content to let partner play<br />
the bid; and even more, a player<br />
would assist his partner's bid<br />
with such a holdlnj}.<br />
Modern practices in Bridge, par-<br />
ticularly Contract, takes Into • ac-<br />
county the factor of distribution In<br />
your assists. North's holding in<br />
the above hand Is a 4, 3, 3, 8 dis-<br />
When Farmir Whnatiey saw<br />
an ad in tlie paper! "For IB<br />
we will tell you how to cure<br />
your horse of tiloblioiing," ho<br />
sent In tho money. A tow<br />
days Inter he received the in-<br />
formation: "Tench him to spit,"<br />
"So Flora's divorced her par-<br />
Inr magician? Couldn't he pull<br />
enough rabbits out of his hat<br />
to keep the pantry filled?"<br />
"Yes, but ho couldn't pull<br />
enough huts out of his pocket<br />
lo keen her wardrobe filled,' 1<br />
"Baddy, a boy nt school told<br />
me I look jiist, like you!"<br />
"That so," replied the father,<br />
"and what did you say'"<br />
"Nothing; he wan bigger'n<br />
me."<br />
array<br />
story<br />
ears.<br />
latter<br />
LI,O suit bid by partner. South ii<br />
quite content with his partner's<br />
No Trump bid, so he paiseg con.<br />
eluding the bidding.<br />
Contract—In Contract, North<br />
takes his partner's one Heart bid<br />
out with two No Trumps, (not a<br />
demand take-out, but invitation!!<br />
for a further bid from partner),<br />
hi veinoBBe to partner's invitatlpri.<br />
South bids three No Trumps as<br />
his lingleton King of Sp»dei is<br />
not a detriment when his partner<br />
has bid the No Trump, This con-<br />
iludes the Contract bidding.<br />
Salient Points of Play<br />
East leads the Three of Sp»des<br />
which is won in the Dummy with<br />
the s • — "— u -—•<br />
leads<br />
the ave<br />
tribution, ip<br />
is a 4, 3, 3, 8 di<br />
other words no<br />
Johnson! "Isn't that tall, dark<br />
man with the big feet your eye<br />
specialigti"<br />
Perkins: "I thought so till I<br />
got his hill. He's a skin spe-<br />
eialist."<br />
Tommy! "My Sunday school<br />
teacher says if I'm good I'll go to<br />
heaven." —'„.„'<br />
His Father: "Well?"<br />
tommy; "Well, daddy, you said<br />
if I -was good I'd go to the circus;<br />
now. what I want to know is—<br />
who's telling the truth 1"<br />
Edith: "<strong>On</strong>, Gerald, I' been<br />
ung by a wwp."<br />
Gvrtld: "Qttwk, put some am-<br />
on It." '<br />
4MART ENOUGH<br />
TO UVB WrTMOWT WORKIN'<br />
FOLKS OUGHT NOT TO CAU.<br />
T^fT<br />
AI this point his flight was<br />
arrested by a policeman who<br />
grew Biispic'ious fit the sight of<br />
one fleeliiR through a window<br />
at such an hour of morning.<br />
His costume in comic dls-<br />
the captive hieeiiped bis<br />
to the cop's doubting<br />
Finally, however, the<br />
decided to believe the<br />
yarn and let him go,<br />
"Hun along." the copper said,<br />
turning tn walk away. <strong>The</strong>n,<br />
on nn afterthought he nailed<br />
to the retreating figure, "Say,<br />
you didn't tell me your name."<br />
•Tnesar," name the prompt<br />
reply from the one In flowing<br />
robes. If was too much. With-<br />
out another word the enpper<br />
collared him and hustled him<br />
off to the station house.<br />
What's in a name?<br />
* * *<br />
Findlnff the night life of<br />
.Manhattan a hit wearing, a<br />
friend aril I •went apartment-<br />
hunt lag In one of New York's<br />
most' neaeeful.looklng 'suburbs.<br />
"Yes, we're going rural," we<br />
explained to everybody, with<br />
visions of pigs nnd chickens<br />
and green fields and cows<br />
grazing out In the great open<br />
spnees.<br />
But we found that tha<br />
"country" near New York<br />
siisles even hotter than Man-<br />
hattnn after dusk. In the par-#<br />
ticular village we Investigated,<br />
one of the quaint provincial<br />
pastimes eonsistB hf going out<br />
In the streets during a party<br />
and shooting out ths •treat<br />
lipMi,<br />
Charming, don't you think?<br />
doubletons, singletons or short<br />
suits that can bo trumped. With<br />
this normal type of distribution<br />
North would not pass even in Auc<br />
tion today, holding three to the<br />
King of partner's Heart bid; out<br />
would bid one No Trump to show<br />
his particular type of hand.<br />
Salient Points of Bidding<br />
Auction—South opens the bid-<br />
ding with one Heart. West pass-<br />
ing. North bids one No Trump to<br />
show a welj balanced typs of hand<br />
is won in the Dummy with<br />
ingleton/ King, North now<br />
leads the rfce of Hearts from<br />
Dummy, playing the three from<br />
own hand. East failing on the<br />
first Heart lead, North can count<br />
i b fur Heart<br />
one Of IM<br />
could bur «<br />
to v». :•*•!.«,<br />
none cw,, MI «*?iJ<br />
nmatear .<br />
Uialf o*te<br />
tWnl "m H<br />
Television<br />
stage<br />
WBl<br />
Dulr<br />
nf election<br />
bsr<br />
them<br />
built<br />
vlilon<br />
therB •!••<br />
amntB<strong>On</strong> asp<br />
vlptnn In<br />
sands ___ ,<br />
radio receotlon<br />
another W. ' '<br />
mnv<br />
and ff pte^<br />
they happen*. Wji<br />
sort of re«ilf)ii«<br />
Invented.<br />
charttab<br />
fir ,<br />
his winners to<br />
Sd<br />
North can coun<br />
be four Heart<br />
tricks, two Spades, two Clubs and<br />
three or four Diamonds, dependant<br />
upon the success of the flni'sse in<br />
Diamonds,<br />
After the first H'-ait lead<br />
North continues with the small<br />
Heart to his King, He next leadi<br />
the Three of Diamonds, finessing<br />
the Jack which holds the trick,<br />
leads the Nine of Hearts which<br />
West wins and returns the Ten of<br />
Spades, North wins with the Ace<br />
leads his remaining Hearts which<br />
are established, discarding the<br />
small Club and losing Spade ir<br />
own hand.<br />
Following the Heart leads, Nortll<br />
leads the King of Diamonds in<br />
Dummy, followed by the Nine „<br />
winning with the Ace in own hand, practles,<br />
He then leads a small Club to the ——<br />
Ace and King In Dummy and in<br />
the end concedes the one Glut<br />
0W tt well DBinncea lype w umm me .j. -»,... .- „._<br />
d two suitH stopped othtr than loser, making five-odd in all.<br />
Ik<br />
South African, Bwufl<br />
COCI^<br />
JOMJQSEMGNIC<br />
A-ithmn<br />
T HIS picture of a Buffering<br />
aiithnmtle ,s molt atrlkini.<br />
<strong>The</strong> patient cannot lie down;<br />
he alts up, leaning slightly for-<br />
ward ; breathM laboriously,<br />
sweats cold, clammy drops,<br />
can talk with great diffloulty.<br />
<strong>The</strong> attack may simulate death,<br />
though not AB ft rule dasferoiiB<br />
at the time, <strong>The</strong> family phjr-<br />
alelan will be able to tell<br />
Whether it in labored breathing<br />
of heart diseate, or wneihir<br />
the patient hag serious kidney<br />
disorder. True nsthma 1% of<br />
bronchial origin, and ittacki<br />
when the patient la run-down<br />
from worry or from ioniB W4-<br />
den dlieaied proeeiB. Changen<br />
nf si-fiBon jnay Induce MthBRtia<br />
tttaeki,<br />
I was oalled "on the run" to<br />
BOO ray first asthmatic, whom<br />
his companions thought w»8<br />
dying sure enongta—a tet oW<br />
- " wia ,,:,;Wwi«r"i'-' i ' Li *<br />
which (topped the attack al«<br />
mosi Instantly-—and It made for<br />
me a reputation as it I had<br />
performed n mlrnole!<br />
This attack was due to a<br />
spasmodic contraction of tht<br />
lesser bronchial passages, on a<br />
damp, chilly evening; the<br />
chloroform ht once stopped tht<br />
spasm, and breathing returned<br />
to normal,<br />
A point Hint aetermlnei the<br />
true asthmatic- state li, tht<br />
nntlent Inhales quickly and<br />
easily, but he ean&ot exhale;<br />
the air gets out of the lung<br />
with great difficulty nnd •lowly;<br />
the sufferer f»«la that JJIB IUOJB<br />
will burst from air In them<br />
which cannot get out!<br />
Of count, a physician should<br />
be called for the asthma suf-<br />
ferer; there In no valuable<br />
"family remedy," though cer-<br />
tain leavei, burned in a metal<br />
plate, |lv« off n smoke wnlth<br />
ii often effectual In auletlng<br />
the spasm and drying up the<br />
load of mucous eiudate which<br />
iin«» the tubti. floeli "ripr^"<br />
do net remove the