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' OCEAN CITT, N. J,<br />

7 and 9 Saturday Natinw! %39<br />

1675—Bell<br />

LAST TIMES—FRIDAY AND SATURDAY<br />

Zk-fffvld, gloriBtr of the American Girl, virtually<br />

uutdid himself In the mm! gorgeous technicolor<br />

spectacle of all time,<br />

ADDED—FRIDAY and SATURDAY<br />

CHAPTER B<br />

KIN^TIN.TIN in "THE LONE DEFENDER"<br />

Monday and Tuesday<br />

Positively (he funniest and<br />

most appeiliiiK of all dramatic<br />

farcer.<br />

anAU-STAACM,<br />

CA UHIIHI ABiui* ptcruHt<br />

Robert Montgomery<br />

Claude Allister<br />

Joan Bennett<br />

Beryl Mercer<br />

Winnie Lifhtner, Irene Delroy and Charles Judels, In n scene from<br />

Warner Bros, Vitaphone production, "<strong>The</strong> Life of the Party,"<br />

coming to the Doughty theatre next Wednesday ami Thursday,<br />

*ath W ttif1 fl adayfwf|<br />

Kenneth MiicKenna, Basil Rath,<br />

bone, Rita I.uRoy and Louis Bar.<br />

iiorTiiii'Y'S<br />

I-Mdlt laiiior heads the film at-<br />

trill-linn in lioualiiy's lor the re-<br />

iiiiiliiiiir nf tin- wci'k ill his flrsi<br />

cn-fii roriiidy extravaganza,<br />

'Whiiiipi'i'." I'idMie and his as-<br />

i.iiiitcs ciriiiiiily whoop thiUKa<br />

ihis piiiduiliiiii which<br />

iiiHu'h nliirlK in spi-i'dy fashion,<br />

An aliiindiiiii-i' of iiiiiiniiie heau-<br />

iii-s is hiMili-d liy Dnrnihy Kniipn,<br />

win) siuiii-il in ii iiiniili'i of Kurl<br />

MUCPII alii] FlmiMiz Zh-iifchl pro-<br />

liniirt ami who rii'iiiientlj<br />

hiiind r 11• • linii'liuhi itiriiimli tht<br />

hi'.iil I i lii-H a--i Hi'll,<br />

'Thri-e l.ivi- (illiisH." hiisiil "0<br />

Ihe Bliii'i-yului slilUi' play nf Ihe<br />

salni' Iliim- , will lie tin' fi-alliri 1 ,<br />

uii Vi lay nnd Ttiffilay. at<br />

li.iualiij^, •Mi-- iii-1i.HI mMs iitf lo<br />

ii tlinu .«Tiii-i wlii'ii lliri'i' war<br />

itiiiiilirr-: r,'linn lumie lo find<br />

theliiM'lif" nlliciiiliy "drad." What<br />

ilu-v lin in i-iiiniinv t.iiiicliiii 'I'ciwn<br />

thiit ihi'j- :ne aim- uiillii-s 11 fllr-<br />

liim to the top of an unfmisli.-l I 1 '""" '•'•"" 1 ' l >-<br />

1 scraper, projects him from ,i I .-„"'',""•' '""~ nnll '" lu \.{ > ii M ,i> - in u h ; i h they ih<br />

; lulii ii',« ll::in .-IINJKIIII<br />

iiiiH ii !!)?>! i, ;]: • j iiinu^iH^<br />

Here's how tht.<br />

scribes itt<br />

"A belligerent, two-fiw Jersey FtTiHfl As^uchttion ttnd Nutlonul Edltoriut Aaaociatlon<br />

Advertising Heprcgentallve; U. ,1, linndull &, Co., 147 Fifth A?e,<br />

New Vork City,<br />

Ielllhiil AdViTtlHlliK KiipKK.Miuilivi'H: Ni-villi-<br />

8 Wulnui Slri't'l.<br />

mB, 1M0<br />

SHOO, SKEKTER!<br />

| eBteemed mayor blithuly brushed usidu th^ infunt<br />

iw Jersey Tuxpayeis' aHwouiatiun, in his statement<br />

:last week in reply to the Real Estate Board when<br />

one oi' the leadura among them (the Board) is not satisfied<br />

policies of. the govuriinuMit of the HtaU; of New Jersey<br />

„ (jrnliuses to asBiHt in iii'jjaiilziiig groups In various com-<br />

fe, to Cia'lit legislation not pleasing to them. Should lie be<br />

ful, we would probulily have no further usi- for staiu legls-<br />

iiiuniiipal K'lVL'i-iiiiiciit."<br />

««,...^ niude this pass at the faintly-buzzing inaect<br />

Dbably tailed it a day and forgot the incident. But<br />

' vhere we sit, it looks us it' that gnat may shortly<br />

|p into one of those gush-awful Jersey gkeeters<br />

can't be swutcWl away. •<br />

.he dimUirulo of this new tax body is an imposing<br />

• of New Jersey's big business men and heavy prop-<br />

.owners. <strong>The</strong>y propose to sue if something can't<br />

Ine to bring down taxes or at least prevent their<br />

f higher; and to secure more returns for the tax-<br />

f*a dollar.<br />

<strong>The</strong>y hope to work with—not against—state and<br />

Jfcipal officials in a study of the tax problem and<br />

fthem to evolve a plan of relief. <strong>The</strong>y are not. as<br />

suggests, organized for a fight,<br />

„„.„,! nothing will come of it. But with the whole<br />

Fcomplaining about the tax burden, the progress ot<br />

fig will be watched with considerable interest<br />

Jet-vent hope.<br />

mher thin, you YankH. All these South American<br />

IN, there aren't as ninny killed in a year as you<br />

hsh up in traffic accident! ' n B - a >' ><br />

ATTEND TONIGHT'S CONCERT<br />

pOU enjoy high-class music, interpreted by master<br />

«itian«, don't deny yourself the pleasure of the free<br />

rt by the Philadelphia Women's Symphony orches-<br />

4 the high Hchool auditorium, tonight. <strong>The</strong> concert<br />

bnsored by the board of education.<br />

This orchestra, which has been organized nine years,<br />

Jfcron an enviable reputation wherever it has appeared,<br />

F-fact that it is directed by J. W, F. Leman, whose<br />

i Symphony oruhestra fotind favor with thousands<br />

Uiic lovws here this past season, speaks for itself.<br />

;VH!'N bupiiiR thst uur c»«ny IniliuliH don't predict<br />

this winter more than one papooM deep.<br />

Those Goode<br />

Olde Days<br />

In Ocean City<br />

15 YEARH AGO<br />

M AYOR Joseph G. Champion<br />

returned from two weeks uf<br />

hunting in (he Maine woods. He<br />

got two ileer on his trip.<br />

A collage prayer meeting for<br />

the residents north of Hth st.<br />

conducted by the M, K, Church,<br />

was held at the home of Mrs.<br />

Jeffries, 32!* Asbury uv,<br />

Capt. ami Mrs. John Sharp<br />

were on a southern cruise. <strong>The</strong>y<br />

had just left AnhupoliH,<br />

<strong>The</strong> Home Building' and Loan<br />

Amioinaiioii authorlscil Its 7ili<br />

series of Htock.<br />

Health Officer T. Lee Aduiiia<br />

reported the health of the city<br />

%vas never better,<br />

Mrs, 1,. M. CreHse closed her<br />

home in the resort and went lo<br />

i'liiludelphiu for the winter.<br />

* *<br />

20 YKAHH AGO<br />

piCEAN City Coumil, No. 10,<br />

^J t). of A,, held a maBijuerade<br />

reception in the lodjte rooms.<br />

Each member was invited lo<br />

bring one guest and WUH asked<br />

to bring lunch for two,<br />

W, Scott Hand, cashier of the<br />

First National Hank, was named<br />

delegate to the iinmial ennven-<br />

tion" of the Atlantic Peeper<br />

Waterways Association.<br />

<strong>The</strong> hoard of trade met but<br />

because there was no business to<br />

consider, did not fall an official<br />

meeting.<br />

Rabbits and qua!! were re-<br />

reported by hunters lo be very<br />

scarce.<br />

Dr. and Mrs, Allen Carson<br />

was at the Yalo-Priiicetun foot-<br />

ball game.<br />

<strong>The</strong> Giddy 90's<br />

JOBS IN PROSPECT<br />

: of the confusing maze of rumors, concerning<br />

Building to bt: undertaken here this winter, we are<br />

|*ble to sift down the following facts;<br />

<strong>The</strong> city's $173,138 sewer project (marked down<br />

t 1250,000) will'be under way within a short time,<br />

f ded the threatened contest over awarding, the con-<br />

' doesn't delay it. Approximately 100 men will be<br />

yed, and the contractor i» pledged to hire home<br />

fe time limit for bids on the now $125,000 Catholic<br />

expired yesterday. Construction work will start<br />

a few weeks,<br />

aeems fairly certain that at least three of tho<br />

tete bridges to Somers Point will ba built between<br />

jjind spring,<br />

B<strong>The</strong>se three undertakings alone will prove a sub-<br />

iLial factor in ridding the resort of the unemployment<br />

(boo. In addition, of course, are an endless number<br />

ipair and remodeling jobs which will keep a sizable<br />

• of mechanics busy all winter.<br />

hanics busy all winter.<br />

t may be a treasonable utterance,-when we all are<br />

ing the misery of peagimism, but one observer<br />

the opinion that there is less unemployment<br />

Cit th lst winter<br />

rea the opinion th<br />

ean City than last winter.<br />

I <strong>The</strong> colleges are offering a courge on international<br />

•lions by mail. You won't be interested unless you have<br />

ne in the old country.<br />

WHO'LL GET THE CHRISTMAS MONEY?<br />

P Press-Union, of Atlantic City, has been performing<br />

I service to its community by encouraging the public<br />

sen its purse strings and to buy merchandise, upon<br />

fch the newspaper has induced merchants to m»rk<br />

b prices. <strong>The</strong> results seem to be entirely satisfactory.<br />

IThis service as a reminder that some $70,000 in<br />

itmas club funds is to be unleashed in Ocean City,<br />

fcek from Monday. Who'll get it?<br />

|<strong>The</strong> share which is retained by Ocean City B stores<br />

inds in large part upon how hard they go after it.<br />

[time to start bidding for this business is NOW!<br />

TOYS FOR THE TOYLISS<br />

IE most terrible disappointment in the world is the<br />

(tsappointtnent of a little child. And the most pathetic<br />

f disappointed child at Christmas time.<br />

1 <strong>The</strong> fruits of one of the finest deeds of thoughtful.<br />

| this community has ever seen are on display in the<br />

fcroom formerly occupied by Minteer'g, on Asbury<br />

[near city hall. In this storeroom is a joyous guar-<br />

le against childiah heartbreaks this Christmas.<br />

[<strong>The</strong>re you will find hundreds of delightful, glistening<br />

. <strong>The</strong>y are as resplendent as if Santa Claus had Just<br />

id them out of his shop. <strong>The</strong>y are toys already<br />

s onct and discarded. <strong>The</strong>y were collected by the<br />

are and Child Hygiene League and the American<br />

Bon, and rebuilt and repainted by the city firemen.<br />

If you have toys in which your children are no<br />

er interested, you will be helping the good work by<br />

: them at once to the fire department, at city hall.<br />

NO TIME FOR A CHANGE<br />

IS M. TOWNSEND performed a real service for the<br />

arnbtr of Commerce, Tuesday night, when he<br />

id tho re.nomln«tlon of all its present officers, This<br />

i time for a change. President Bevill and his official<br />

art just beginning to show progress, and the<br />

W needs their eWnest, self-sacrificing endeavors<br />

'ai<br />

Just For Fun<br />

T HE tourist rushed Into the<br />

country store. "I wanna,<br />

quart of "oil, some gas, a couple<br />

of spark plugs, a timer, a five-<br />

jjnllon kerosene can and four<br />

pie tins."<br />

"All righty." replied the en-<br />

terprising clerk, "anil you kin<br />

HHserable 'or In the back room<br />

if you wrintii."<br />

A Pullman porter was thrown<br />

from his cur when the train<br />

was derailed. Mil flew 10 feet<br />

through •ihe'nlr before he bit<br />

head IIIKI agiuiist « concrete<br />

post. Hi- lay In u dura rubbing<br />

his heiiil when the uonductor-<br />

eame runiiiiiK up,<br />

"Cheat Sciitt. innn," eried the<br />

(.'ondurtur, "uln'l ynu killed?"<br />

"Nn," niiiii the lmrtt'r getting<br />

lo hiB feul, "Unit iiirierele post<br />

mualu broke inn fall."<br />

He laid a package down be-<br />

fore the tailor. "I've brought<br />

Unit hint pair of troiiHers buck<br />

in he rt'xvateil. You know I<br />

Kit a lot,"<br />

"Kine." aahl the tailor, "and<br />

I hope ynu'vi? hi-miislil ihe bill<br />

In lu lie iweipleii, tnii. You<br />

know. I've slnuil a lot,"<br />

MET A StRPKISK<br />

^\NR day early last weak n<br />

^* young man went iniii u re»-<br />

tauruni on Asbury uv,, and<br />

while there was very much im-<br />

pressed with the young woman<br />

who waited upon him. While<br />

paying his thetk to the proprie-<br />

tor, who acted us cashier, he re-<br />

marked: "What a fine-looking<br />

ftirl you have there, Who in the<br />

worlil is she?"<br />

"Which one 7" inquire!] the<br />

;i • •ruteur,<br />

"<strong>The</strong> one that waited upon<br />

me," replied the meek young<br />

man,<br />

"Good looking is she? H-m!<br />

That is precisely the reason I<br />

married her. She is my wife,<br />

so don't fall in love with her,"<br />

responileil the proprietor, with a<br />

.sinister smile on his counte-<br />

nance.<br />

<strong>The</strong> surprised young man lias<br />

not even been seen in the vi-<br />

cinity of the restaurant since,<br />

FOURTH OFTULY ORATION<br />

IV/IISS KMMA T. MANN,' a<br />

"* patriotic young woman who<br />

hnila from West Philadelphia,<br />

entertained a number of visitors<br />

at the JjUfayette on Saturday<br />

with a Fourth of July oration,<br />

Proprietor Gallagher had the<br />

hotel beautifully illuminated<br />

with Japanese lanterns for ihe<br />

occasion. He also treated his<br />

guests and many visitors lo a<br />

gram! pyrotechnic display,<br />

(<strong>The</strong> above articles appeared<br />

on page one of the Ocean City<br />

Daily Reporter for Mumlsiy,<br />

Julv n, 18S>n,) A<br />

T.eiu<strong>On</strong> Jtily<br />

T WO lablospoona granulateil<br />

gelatine, one-half cup cold<br />

water, two to two and nne-litilr<br />

cups boHlnjs water, one fun<br />

sugar, one-half cup lemon<br />

Jiilne, rind ntifi leninn. Sunk<br />

gelatine 20 mlnuteB In Mid<br />

water, then dissolve In IIOIHIIK<br />

water. Add • aunar, the lemon<br />

Julc(> ani rintl; slniln Into a<br />

mold nnd chill. Beating the<br />

lemon Jelly while It Is jelly-<br />

like willi ii Dover ORB heater<br />

will make il white nnd fluffy.<br />

Oranse. raspberry nr oilier<br />

fruit Jelly mny he mnde In<br />

the same way, using one-lialf<br />

clip of the fruit julep with<br />

lemon niifo to taste,<br />

Uniiin I'IH<br />

Three-fiuarterB cup suisnr,<br />

throe-quarters cup liolllnK<br />

wnler, two tablpanoona corn-<br />

March, one tableipoon flour,<br />

two egg yolks, three table-<br />

spoons lemon juice, grated rind<br />

one lemon, one and one-half<br />

teaspoons butter. Mix dry In-<br />

gredlcnts. add boiling water.<br />

Stir pnnptantly, cooklnK two<br />

minutes, then add biilter, em<br />

yolk, juice nnd rind of lemon.<br />

<strong>Line</strong> pie plate with crust, turn<br />

In mjxture which has been<br />

slightly cooled nnrt Imke pristry<br />

until brown. fool a lilt anil<br />

cover with morlnguo,<br />

A hunter was showing off Ms<br />

colleciiiui of irophipH to some<br />

visitors. He was i-upHiroualy<br />

(.•xpluiiiiiiK how lie acquired tin;<br />

various I'Xliibits,<br />

"Sen Him elephant?" he<br />

askml. "I Hlitil II In my pn-<br />

jillllilS,"<br />

"My Rosh," murmured the<br />

flapper, "how did It net there?"<br />

Clerk: "Now that you've seen<br />

nil the blankets in (he store,<br />

which one do you wish?"<br />

Lady: "Well. I was only look.<br />

Itig for ii friend, and didn't ex.<br />

peel lo buy,"<br />

fJlerk: "Well, ma'am. If you<br />

think she's In thai remainin(<br />

iilnnkiM up there, I'll take It<br />

down For you,"<br />

Hiporler: "To what do you<br />

attribute your sweeesB as a<br />

sulesman?"<br />

Salesman: "Tn the first five<br />

words I inter when a lady an-<br />

swers the door—'Miss—-, is<br />

your mother in?'"<br />

Country Doctor (feeling wo-<br />

man pulse, and trying to put on<br />

his best bedside manner): "Well,<br />

1 suppose you consider me an<br />

old_ humbug."<br />

Female Patient (gasping):<br />

"Well, I never! I had no idea<br />

that you could ar-certain a wo-<br />

man's thought by just feeling<br />

her pulse."<br />

You cun say another Rood<br />

Hind for fipinnnh. Youngsters<br />

aren't selllnis it to work their<br />

way through college,<br />

Maynr of Brushville: "How<br />

ijn you like our new street?"<br />

Visitor; "Oh, is tliat, u street?<br />

tliuiiglil that you were put-<br />

ting in an Irrigation Byatem."<br />

Mrs. Oldbone; "Yes, I know<br />

my face does show premature<br />

lines, but I'll hnve to benr that<br />

iifniction with fortitude,"<br />

Miss Slinrp: "Fortitude! Huh,<br />

I should any at lens! slxtytude."<br />

Kind Lady: "Why don't you<br />

go to work?"<br />

Tramp: "I would if 1 had<br />

Ihe tools,"<br />

Kind Liicly: "What sort of<br />

tonls d(i you want?"<br />

Tnuii|i! "A knife and a fork,"<br />

Men who sins "Oh, Promise<br />

Me Thnt Some Dny You'll be<br />

Mine" keep out nf trouble a<br />

great deal longer tluin those<br />

who Innls! on lixliit' the wed-<br />

dinit date,<br />

Mrs, Jigging, who was rena-<br />

Inii a newspaper, observed to<br />

her husband I lint the paper<br />

contained an article entitled:<br />

"Women Work for the Feeble-<br />

Minded,"<br />

Mr, .llgKtns! "I should like<br />

to know what women have ever<br />

done for the feeble-minded,"<br />

Mrs, .liggins (sweetly)! "<strong>The</strong>y<br />

usually marry them, my dear."<br />

Ezra: "What are these fljin-<br />

peiH doing with all the inisHc-<br />

toe they are buying?"<br />

Hiram: "You'd he surprised,<br />

<strong>The</strong>y are trimming hats with<br />

it,"<br />

His Hearty Endorsement •<br />

T.Wm<br />

L<br />

wmmi CAMP ja<br />

N EW YORK.—Elections are<br />

hazardous events In this<br />

amazing town. During the bal-<br />

loting here, November 4, four<br />

policemen wer» taken off their<br />

regular "beat" near a depart-<br />

ment store and assigned to<br />

fluty at a nearby voting booth.<br />

Hardly had the balloting lot<br />

under way when in rushed a<br />

young woman, greatly excited,<br />

iind summoned two of the po-<br />

lice lo the store, A couple of<br />

burglars) had looted the<br />

pA unique method wm^evii<br />

for flashing lo New Yorkeru<br />

the return:) on election night,<br />

Tho public was told to watch<br />

ihe liuge_ searchlight atop the<br />

. story Rinpire State building,<br />

tallest in the world.<br />

When the great white beam<br />

moved buck and forth from a<br />

vertical to a northerly direc-<br />

tion, Hiiosevelt was leading for<br />

governor. When It oscillated<br />

from vertical to southerly,<br />

Tuitle wiis running ahead.<br />

When the beam finally ceased<br />

moving, it would point steadily<br />

north or south, indicating who<br />

had won,<br />

4 * *<br />

<strong>The</strong> funnieHl slory going the<br />

rounds concerns a wild party<br />

given in Greenwich Vfiliige. Tt<br />

was a costume affair, and<br />

among the eiiesta was a man<br />

named Caesar, whn came at-<br />

tired In the flowing toga of a<br />

Roman senator.<br />

Afier an evening of revelry,<br />

the story goes, Caesar awoke<br />

in the -misty hours of Sunday<br />

morning and sleepily • looked<br />

tiliout him. To bin vast alarm<br />

he found he was lying flat on<br />

his brii'k with ii woodnn sur-<br />

face iibiivti him.<br />

It was evidently a coffin—<br />

until he kicked nut wildly and<br />

discovered ho had been left<br />

alone, lying under a tnhlc,<br />

sit ill atremhlc with fright, In-<br />

rushed to a window, leaped' out,<br />

and lit a strenu for home.<br />

How Would You Play It?<br />

Bridge Authority Propounds Problem Hand, Both In<br />

Contract and Auction; Solution Next Week<br />

• —— By MARY L, MOOBHEAD<br />

(<strong>The</strong> hand to bid and play for next week followi. Miss<br />

Moorhend'a play of this hand will appear under the heading:<br />

"When a slam is safely bWdabli.")<br />

North<br />

-S—A Q<br />

H—A q<br />

D—8 8<br />

C—A K Q J 10 5 J East<br />

S—10 18 5 4<br />

H—K J 10 2<br />

D—i 8<br />

C-T 3<br />

S—9 7<br />

H—9 7 3<br />

D—A K 10 7 2<br />

C—• 4 8 .<br />

South<br />

West<br />

S—K j S 2<br />

*• H—S 6 5 4<br />

D—Q J 7 4<br />

C—8<br />

Following is Miss Moorhead's<br />

play of the hand which appeared<br />

last week:<br />

North<br />

S—A 7 5<br />

H—K83<br />

D—A 10 0 S<br />

C—5 4 3<br />

West E»gt<br />

S—Q J 10 0 8—8 0 4 8 2<br />

H-J 10 7 0 4 H—<br />

D—7 G T3—Q 8 4 8<br />

—Q 0 C—J 8 0 2<br />

S-K<br />

H~A Q 0 8 2<br />

D—K J 9<br />

C—A K 10 7<br />

Distribution is nn important fac-<br />

tor in bridge, not only as deter-<br />

mining your original hid, but par-<br />

ticularly go, in regard to your as-<br />

sisting partner's bid. Before so<br />

much attention was given to dis-<br />

tributions, if a player held three<br />

cards to an honor (A K Q) of his<br />

partner's original bid, he would he<br />

quite content to let partner play<br />

the bid; and even more, a player<br />

would assist his partner's bid<br />

with such a holdlnj}.<br />

Modern practices in Bridge, par-<br />

ticularly Contract, takes Into • ac-<br />

county the factor of distribution In<br />

your assists. North's holding in<br />

the above hand Is a 4, 3, 3, 8 dis-<br />

When Farmir Whnatiey saw<br />

an ad in tlie paper! "For IB<br />

we will tell you how to cure<br />

your horse of tiloblioiing," ho<br />

sent In tho money. A tow<br />

days Inter he received the in-<br />

formation: "Tench him to spit,"<br />

"So Flora's divorced her par-<br />

Inr magician? Couldn't he pull<br />

enough rabbits out of his hat<br />

to keep the pantry filled?"<br />

"Yes, but ho couldn't pull<br />

enough huts out of his pocket<br />

lo keen her wardrobe filled,' 1<br />

"Baddy, a boy nt school told<br />

me I look jiist, like you!"<br />

"That so," replied the father,<br />

"and what did you say'"<br />

"Nothing; he wan bigger'n<br />

me."<br />

array<br />

story<br />

ears.<br />

latter<br />

LI,O suit bid by partner. South ii<br />

quite content with his partner's<br />

No Trump bid, so he paiseg con.<br />

eluding the bidding.<br />

Contract—In Contract, North<br />

takes his partner's one Heart bid<br />

out with two No Trumps, (not a<br />

demand take-out, but invitation!!<br />

for a further bid from partner),<br />

hi veinoBBe to partner's invitatlpri.<br />

South bids three No Trumps as<br />

his lingleton King of Sp»dei is<br />

not a detriment when his partner<br />

has bid the No Trump, This con-<br />

iludes the Contract bidding.<br />

Salient Points of Play<br />

East leads the Three of Sp»des<br />

which is won in the Dummy with<br />

the s • — "— u -—•<br />

leads<br />

the ave<br />

tribution, ip<br />

is a 4, 3, 3, 8 di<br />

other words no<br />

Johnson! "Isn't that tall, dark<br />

man with the big feet your eye<br />

specialigti"<br />

Perkins: "I thought so till I<br />

got his hill. He's a skin spe-<br />

eialist."<br />

Tommy! "My Sunday school<br />

teacher says if I'm good I'll go to<br />

heaven." —'„.„'<br />

His Father: "Well?"<br />

tommy; "Well, daddy, you said<br />

if I -was good I'd go to the circus;<br />

now. what I want to know is—<br />

who's telling the truth 1"<br />

Edith: "<strong>On</strong>, Gerald, I' been<br />

ung by a wwp."<br />

Gvrtld: "Qttwk, put some am-<br />

on It." '<br />

4MART ENOUGH<br />

TO UVB WrTMOWT WORKIN'<br />

FOLKS OUGHT NOT TO CAU.<br />

T^fT<br />

AI this point his flight was<br />

arrested by a policeman who<br />

grew Biispic'ious fit the sight of<br />

one fleeliiR through a window<br />

at such an hour of morning.<br />

His costume in comic dls-<br />

the captive hieeiiped bis<br />

to the cop's doubting<br />

Finally, however, the<br />

decided to believe the<br />

yarn and let him go,<br />

"Hun along." the copper said,<br />

turning tn walk away. <strong>The</strong>n,<br />

on nn afterthought he nailed<br />

to the retreating figure, "Say,<br />

you didn't tell me your name."<br />

•Tnesar," name the prompt<br />

reply from the one In flowing<br />

robes. If was too much. With-<br />

out another word the enpper<br />

collared him and hustled him<br />

off to the station house.<br />

What's in a name?<br />

* * *<br />

Findlnff the night life of<br />

.Manhattan a hit wearing, a<br />

friend aril I •went apartment-<br />

hunt lag In one of New York's<br />

most' neaeeful.looklng 'suburbs.<br />

"Yes, we're going rural," we<br />

explained to everybody, with<br />

visions of pigs nnd chickens<br />

and green fields and cows<br />

grazing out In the great open<br />

spnees.<br />

But we found that tha<br />

"country" near New York<br />

siisles even hotter than Man-<br />

hattnn after dusk. In the par-#<br />

ticular village we Investigated,<br />

one of the quaint provincial<br />

pastimes eonsistB hf going out<br />

In the streets during a party<br />

and shooting out ths •treat<br />

lipMi,<br />

Charming, don't you think?<br />

doubletons, singletons or short<br />

suits that can bo trumped. With<br />

this normal type of distribution<br />

North would not pass even in Auc<br />

tion today, holding three to the<br />

King of partner's Heart bid; out<br />

would bid one No Trump to show<br />

his particular type of hand.<br />

Salient Points of Bidding<br />

Auction—South opens the bid-<br />

ding with one Heart. West pass-<br />

ing. North bids one No Trump to<br />

show a welj balanced typs of hand<br />

is won in the Dummy with<br />

ingleton/ King, North now<br />

leads the rfce of Hearts from<br />

Dummy, playing the three from<br />

own hand. East failing on the<br />

first Heart lead, North can count<br />

i b fur Heart<br />

one Of IM<br />

could bur «<br />

to v». :•*•!.«,<br />

none cw,, MI «*?iJ<br />

nmatear .<br />

Uialf o*te<br />

tWnl "m H<br />

Television<br />

stage<br />

WBl<br />

Dulr<br />

nf election<br />

bsr<br />

them<br />

built<br />

vlilon<br />

therB •!••<br />

amntB<strong>On</strong> asp<br />

vlptnn In<br />

sands ___ ,<br />

radio receotlon<br />

another W. ' '<br />

mnv<br />

and ff pte^<br />

they happen*. Wji<br />

sort of re«ilf)ii«<br />

Invented.<br />

charttab<br />

fir ,<br />

his winners to<br />

Sd<br />

North can coun<br />

be four Heart<br />

tricks, two Spades, two Clubs and<br />

three or four Diamonds, dependant<br />

upon the success of the flni'sse in<br />

Diamonds,<br />

After the first H'-ait lead<br />

North continues with the small<br />

Heart to his King, He next leadi<br />

the Three of Diamonds, finessing<br />

the Jack which holds the trick,<br />

leads the Nine of Hearts which<br />

West wins and returns the Ten of<br />

Spades, North wins with the Ace<br />

leads his remaining Hearts which<br />

are established, discarding the<br />

small Club and losing Spade ir<br />

own hand.<br />

Following the Heart leads, Nortll<br />

leads the King of Diamonds in<br />

Dummy, followed by the Nine „<br />

winning with the Ace in own hand, practles,<br />

He then leads a small Club to the ——<br />

Ace and King In Dummy and in<br />

the end concedes the one Glut<br />

0W tt well DBinncea lype w umm me .j. -»,... .- „._<br />

d two suitH stopped othtr than loser, making five-odd in all.<br />

Ik<br />

South African, Bwufl<br />

COCI^<br />

JOMJQSEMGNIC<br />

A-ithmn<br />

T HIS picture of a Buffering<br />

aiithnmtle ,s molt atrlkini.<br />

<strong>The</strong> patient cannot lie down;<br />

he alts up, leaning slightly for-<br />

ward ; breathM laboriously,<br />

sweats cold, clammy drops,<br />

can talk with great diffloulty.<br />

<strong>The</strong> attack may simulate death,<br />

though not AB ft rule dasferoiiB<br />

at the time, <strong>The</strong> family phjr-<br />

alelan will be able to tell<br />

Whether it in labored breathing<br />

of heart diseate, or wneihir<br />

the patient hag serious kidney<br />

disorder. True nsthma 1% of<br />

bronchial origin, and ittacki<br />

when the patient la run-down<br />

from worry or from ioniB W4-<br />

den dlieaied proeeiB. Changen<br />

nf si-fiBon jnay Induce MthBRtia<br />

tttaeki,<br />

I was oalled "on the run" to<br />

BOO ray first asthmatic, whom<br />

his companions thought w»8<br />

dying sure enongta—a tet oW<br />

- " wia ,,:,;Wwi«r"i'-' i ' Li *<br />

which (topped the attack al«<br />

mosi Instantly-—and It made for<br />

me a reputation as it I had<br />

performed n mlrnole!<br />

This attack was due to a<br />

spasmodic contraction of tht<br />

lesser bronchial passages, on a<br />

damp, chilly evening; the<br />

chloroform ht once stopped tht<br />

spasm, and breathing returned<br />

to normal,<br />

A point Hint aetermlnei the<br />

true asthmatic- state li, tht<br />

nntlent Inhales quickly and<br />

easily, but he ean&ot exhale;<br />

the air gets out of the lung<br />

with great difficulty nnd •lowly;<br />

the sufferer f»«la that JJIB IUOJB<br />

will burst from air In them<br />

which cannot get out!<br />

Of count, a physician should<br />

be called for the asthma suf-<br />

ferer; there In no valuable<br />

"family remedy," though cer-<br />

tain leavei, burned in a metal<br />

plate, |lv« off n smoke wnlth<br />

ii often effectual In auletlng<br />

the spasm and drying up the<br />

load of mucous eiudate which<br />

iin«» the tubti. floeli "ripr^"<br />

do net remove the

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