July 2022 Parenta magazine

Supporting parents with
SEN children
Most settings will already be catering for
some children with special educational
needs (SEN) to help them access your
services and curriculum. However, are
you also finding ways to support their
parents? Being a parent of a child with SEN
can be lonely and confusing as they try to
understand their children more fully, and
then get them the help they need. Read on
to find how you can help them by making
some small changes, which can have a
big impact.
SEN children and their
parents are unique
Everyone is different, and children with
special needs cannot be grouped into one
homogenous group. Often, what works
well for one person - (such as having
a non-stimulating environment due to
sensory overload), - is the opposite of
what’s needed for others, who may need
a more uplifting, colourful and visually
engaging environment. Some people need
a quiet space, others crave attention and
may have trouble regulating their volume
or energy. The phrase “one size fits all”
does definitely NOT apply when you are
discussing children with special needs.
The same is true of their parents. There
is not one ‘type’ of parent whose child
has special needs, and it is not down to
a ‘parenting fault’ or challenge either,
although this is often a misconception and
myth that many parents face.
Understand parents’
point of view
One of the first things you can do, is to
develop an empathy for parents. If you
have ever stood in a supermarket whilst
your toddler has a tantrum, and felt the
‘judging eyes’ upon you as you try to calm
them down, you will know what we mean.
Now imagine that you are standing in the
same supermarket, but your toddler is
now age 10 and having the same tantrum.
You know that it is because they have
become overwhelmed by something that
is out of their control, and this is their only
way of emotionally releasing their fears/
anxiety/stress. But for other observers, this
fact is ‘hidden’, and instead of getting the
sympathy and understanding you need,
you feel the weight of their judgement as
they silently (or not!) condemn you and
your parenting.
Listen to what parents
say
Listening to parents is key. They will
understand their situation and their child;
they have found what works for them, and
things that don’t. Parents will hopefully
have tried numerous different approaches,
learning through trial and error, experience
and hopefully some professional input
too. So it is important to listen to what
they say, and try to accommodate things
if you can. If they say that their child is
upset by certain textures, sounds or tastes,
then disseminate this information to your
staff and make sure they are aware.
A lot of children with SEN find physical
contact difficult. They may find it difficult to
look people in the eye or they may have
sensory needs which mean they can’t
bear certain materials close to their skin or
particular smells.
Many neurotypical people often find these
needs difficult to understand and instead,
think that the person is being deliberately
difficult or ‘naughty’. However, almost all
of us visibly tense at the sound of nails
scraping down a blackboard. The noise
seems to go through us, vibrating our
very bones and we quickly cover our ears
and call for it to stop. This is how many
people with sensory needs feel about
some of the sounds, touch, tastes and
smells that many of us love. It is not a
question of one person being ‘right’ and
the other person be ‘wrong’ – it’s just
that we are all different. If we approach
the situation with more understanding,
patience and tolerance, then we will go a
long way to helping support the parents of
SEN children, because they will feel more
validated and understood.
Meet the children’s
individual needs and
share what works
It is the duty of settings to try to meet the
needs of SEN children. Depending on the
need, this is not always possible and so
specialist provisions for children with some
severe disabilities or learning difficulties
exist. However, many children with SEN
can cope in mainstream establishments
so long as their needs are considered, and
adaptations made.
Having a SENCo draw up a list of needs
and a provision map will mean that
you can document the provisions and
adaptations you are providing for that
child. Many SENCos will also draw up and
individual child profile and share it with
staff. These give details of what the child
needs and what works well. Remember
to update these as children grow and
develop and help parents and councils
maintain up-to-date EHCPs. In early years,
children are growing and developing at
an amazing rate, and what they need will
develop with them helping parents get the
provision their children need, especially as
children transition to school or between
school key stages.
Train your staff
Another simple way to help parents with
SEN children is to train your staff on how
best to deal with that child. You could do
this as part of your annual CPD work or
have key people undertake specific special
needs training. There are some free and/
or inexpensive CPD courses that staff can
take ranging from a short one- or twohour
online course, to more in-depth, Level
2 courses. Parenta offer a number of CPD
courses which may be of interest which
you can access here and include Asperger
Syndrome, Autism Awareness and
Disability Awareness to name but a few.
Offer support and be an
advocate
Many children in early years may only be
starting to show signs of having special
needs as they join your setting, so it may
be a shared journey of discovery for
both the setting and the parents as you
investigate some of the issues you witness
in the nursery. You can help parents by
offering information and advice about
different conditions, and point them in
the direction of support groups or other
advocacy organisations.
Other ways to help
Encourage children to get involved in
everything in your setting
Keep reviewing your own policies and
procedures
Consider if you can offer extended
hours or respite services
Supporting parents with SEN children
will not only help them, but it will help
the children too, as their home life is an
important aspect which will contribute to
their success in your setting.
Further information
https://www.kids.org.uk/
https://www.understood.org/
https://www.family-action.org.uk/whatwe-do/children-families/send/send-info/
22 July 2022 | parenta.com
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