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Fighting Words <strong>Playwriting</strong> <strong>Camp</strong><br />
12th - 15th July <strong>2022</strong><br />
At the Ukrainian Hub, Vicar Street
The Authors:<br />
Max<br />
Oliver<br />
Thomas<br />
Róisín<br />
Moya<br />
Mykhailo<br />
Zoe<br />
Bhavesh<br />
Anna<br />
Dmytro<br />
Michael<br />
Maria<br />
Matvii<br />
Khrystyna
Лори и Роки<br />
Жила была Лариса она была гусеницей она очень хотела стать бабочкой. Она жила на дереве и<br />
каждый день смотрела на других бабочек, и мечтала стать такой же. Одним днём бабочка по имени<br />
Роки села отдохнуть на то дерево где жила Лори<br />
Л: Привет меня зовут Лори<br />
Р: Привет а меня зовут Роки<br />
Л: Как ты стала бабочкой я тоже хочу быть такой как ты<br />
Р: Ну слушай <br />
Л: Вау расскажи мне этот секрет<br />
Р: Хорошо но мне надо его вспомнить<br />
Л: Давай встретимся завтра на этом же месте?<br />
Р: Давай<br />
Они договорились и на следующий день встретиться, Лори ждала Роки весь следующий день но она<br />
не пришла<br />
Спустя два месяца на это место прилетела Роки и Лори сразу подошла к ней<br />
Л: Где ты была? Я тебя ждала каждый день на протяжении двух месяцев<br />
Р: мне надо было вспомнить секрет всех бабочек<br />
Л: Рассказывай скорее<br />
Р: тебе надо поверить в себя и ждать тогда всё случиться<br />
Через год Лори стала бабочкой и они стали вместе жить и каждый день летать<br />
Lori and Rocky by Anna
Once upon a time there was Lori the caterpillar. She really wanted to become a butterfly. She lived in a tree<br />
and looked at other butterflies every day, and dreamed of becoming the same. One day, a butterfly named<br />
Rocky sat down to rest on the tree where Lori lived.<br />
L: Hello, my name is Lori.<br />
R: Hello, my name is Rocky.<br />
L: How did you become a butterfly, I want to be like you.<br />
R: Well listen, at first I was like you, but then I learned the secret of how to become a butterfly. After a few<br />
months, I became a butterfly. I was very happy!<br />
L: Wow, tell me that secret!<br />
R: Okay, but I need to remember it.<br />
L: Let’s meet tomorrow at the same place?<br />
R: Yes!<br />
They agreed to meet the next day. Lori waited for Rocky the whole next day but she did not come.<br />
Two months later, Rocky flew to this place and Lori immediately approached her.<br />
L: Where have you been? I’ve been waiting for you every day for two months.<br />
R: I had to remember the secret of how to become a butterflies.<br />
L: Well tell me!<br />
R: The secret is…you need to believe in yourself and wait. Then, everything will happen.<br />
A <strong>year</strong> later, Lori became a butterfly and they began to live together and fly every day.
Play by Moya<br />
Act one.<br />
Scene 1-Mayo<br />
Zoe is watching the news in her home in Mayo with her friend Róisín.<br />
News reporter:Thousands have been murdered in Paris today and millions in London.<br />
Zoe turns off the TV.<br />
Róisín:I wish we could help these poor people.<br />
Zoe:but we can<br />
Róisín:how?<br />
Zoe:IMORTALITY Mad scientist laugh(mhahahahahaha)<br />
scene ends to Zoe smiling<br />
Scene 2-Sience confrence<br />
Everyone talking to each other<br />
Zoe: I’ve a great idea.<br />
Devil: Oh what is it?<br />
Zoe: Well Lucifer I’m making an immortality potion.<br />
Scientist 1: How come I didn’t think of that! I thought I was themselves one.<br />
Scientist 2: No Zoe’s the clever one.<br />
Scientists walk off arguing about who is the cleverest.<br />
Devil: Maybe I could help you.<br />
Zoe: Okay sure, we start tomorrow at ten in my lab.<br />
Devil: See you there.<br />
Scene 3-Zoe’s lab-10:00<br />
Zoe is surrounded by past projects and by her project the Immortality project.<br />
Lucifer enters from the right.<br />
Devil: Hello, Good Morning how are you.<br />
Zoe: Now let’s get to work.<br />
They get to work not talking at all.<br />
2 hours later<br />
Devil:Is it done?<br />
Zoe:yes (delightfully) It’s done<br />
Devil: can I hold it?<br />
Zoe: you can see it from there.
Scene 4-Hell<br />
The Devil comes in with Lucifer’s outfit on. The Devil is thinking outloud<br />
Devil: That silly scientist, Zoe, I didn’t think she would create the potion successfully! How will I take it off<br />
her if she doesn’t trust me? if I don’t steal it, I’ll run out of souls to eat.<br />
Scene 5-Zoe’s Home<br />
Zoe is talking to her friend, Róisín<br />
Zoe: im not sure I can trust him.<br />
Róisín: why not?<br />
Zoe: he seems very suspicious. He seemed too excited about the potion.<br />
Róisín: Well, I think I would be excited about an immortality potion.He was just trying to help<br />
Zoe: I think I’m going to Trust to my gut on this one. I don’t trust him.<br />
Róisín:I have to go babysit Sunny now, maybe we could talk about this later.<br />
Zoe: Sure, I’ll talk to you later.<br />
Act two<br />
Scene 1-Zoe’s lab<br />
Zoe is thinking about how she can share her potion to the world.<br />
Zoe: I wish Róisín were here to help me instead of babysitting sunny.<br />
Zoe: I need to make more potions so I share them with the world. I’ll get to work now.<br />
Zoe gets to work and 30 minutes later she has 20 potions made<br />
Zoe: I’ve successfully made twenty potions! I’ll go to the government and see if they’ll take them.one potion<br />
serves 5 people so… (Zoe thinks about it )105 people!<br />
Scene 2-Róisín’s House<br />
Róisín’s house is full of paper because she was writing a play.<br />
Zoe:Hello Róisín I have some good news for you.<br />
Róisín:what?<br />
Zoe:I’ve made more potions!<br />
Róisín:great!<br />
Zoe: I am going to the government buildings to ask if they need my potion.Do you what to come?<br />
Róisín:I’ll come to support you.<br />
Zoe:thank you<br />
Scene 3-government buildings<br />
Zoe:We’re here!Let’s go in and ask the president, Alan Phillips.<br />
They go in to the building<br />
Zoe:Alan I have made an immortality potion do you think you will use it?<br />
Alan: Yes, we will use them. Thank you so much.
The Stinky Sabotage<br />
by Bhavesh<br />
THE GHOST IS A NARRATOR AND A CHARACTER IN THE SCENE AS IT PLAYS OUT.<br />
GHOST: Hey kids! I am dead! You can die from pooping too hard! That’s how I died. Remember<br />
kids just poop with passion!<br />
GHOST: One of our characters here, Foltyn. Just ate a spicy chilli dog and was farting so hard.<br />
He wanted to go to the toilet, but the problem was, his brother, Chex. Was camping in the<br />
bathroom!<br />
FOLTYN: Chex? are you still there? Please! I need to go to the bathroom fast!<br />
CHEX: Yeah! Coming in 24 hours!<br />
GHOST: As you can see, Chex didn’t care about Foltyn going to the bathroom. This was typical<br />
for Chex, he likes to relax in the bathtub! But then Foltyn got an idea, hehas a spare portaloo<br />
in his garden.<br />
FOLTYN: (Grunts.) I need to the portaloo! (He arrives to the portaloo.) Ahh how relaxing!<br />
GHOST: (EH I LIKE BA-) When Foltyn got out of the portaloo , he had an idea. He will order<br />
another spicy chilli dog and give to Chex. Also he will lock the bathroom and portaloo! (Foltyn<br />
went back in the portaloo to go poo again.)<br />
MEME: 2 hours later…..<br />
FOLTYN: YES! I got the chilli dog and I will give it to Chex! Oh Chex!!<br />
CHEX: Yeah?<br />
FOLTYN: I got something for you!<br />
CHEX: Is it food because I’m kinda hungry.<br />
FOLTYN: Yeah!<br />
GHOST: Chex immediately came out of the bathroom (With clothes of course.)<br />
CHEX: So Foltyn what have you got for me?<br />
FOLTYN: a chilli dog especially for you!<br />
GHOST: Foltyn ran out of the room as fast as possible.<br />
FOLTYN: Right my plan will work shortly!<br />
(Chex screams.)<br />
FOLTYN: HEHEHA!<br />
CHEX: WHAT THE FUDGE FOLTYN! LET ME IN THE BATHROOM!<br />
FOLTYN: No. Hahaha!<br />
CHEX: The portaloo! (He runs downstairs.)
GHOST: Foltyn realised that he forgot to put the stinky spray in the portaloo!<br />
CHEX: GAHH! FOLTYN! THIS IS SO STINKY! (He sighs.) Fine im sorry Foltyn I was<br />
camping in the bathroom. I will NEVER do it again.<br />
FOLTYN: Fine. THAT’S WHAT YOU GET ANYWAY HA!<br />
THE END!<br />
Foltyn and Chex are real youtubers. Foltyn always says: CHEX IS STINKY! So that’s how I got<br />
this idea!
“Миша Зеля та миша Ари”<br />
Жила була миша її звали Зеля у неї було дуже непросте життя тому усі миші нікому не потрібні і<br />
їх люди просто ненавидять . Миша жила в норі і постійно її доводилося красти якусь їжу в людей<br />
для себе тому що вона би не вижила без їжі і померла . Одного дня миша лежала на підлозі була у<br />
роздумах і навіть не помітила як в у дірку упало багато різного сиру та іншої їжі так як миша жила<br />
одна у норі тому її не довелося ні з ким ділитися їжею так як миша була розумною то вона відклала<br />
їжу на наступні дні вона не була голодна а коли пройшов місяць то вона побачила що у її сховищі<br />
не було уже їжі і вона вийшла на кухню щоб знайти щось поїсти тому так вона помер з голоду . Коли<br />
вона вийшла на кухню то побачила що у будинку нікого не було а з їжі був тільки засохлий хліб.<br />
А виявилось що хазяїна квартири переїхали через дуже шумних сусідів але це мишу не зупинило<br />
Зеля вирішила вкрасти у сусідів їжу коли сусіди відкрили двері то вона скоро забігла в квартиру і<br />
сховалися в німці там де була друга миша її звали Ари коли Зеля її побачила так злякалася що аж<br />
закричала.<br />
Зеля:-Ти хто така<br />
-Викрикнула Зеля<br />
-Ари:-Я Ари а що ти тут робиш?<br />
-Зеля:В мене хазяїна виїхали з квартири і я вирішила сюди прийшла.<br />
-Ари:Добре будемо жити разом!<br />
-Зеля:Добре!<br />
-Ари:Давай підемо на кухню я тобі все покажу і розкажу<br />
-Поки вони ходили хазяїна квартири повернулися додому!<br />
-Ари:Тікаємо скоро хазяїна прийшли<br />
-Поки вони бігли їх помітила дівчинка і побігла за ними але коли вона добірка їх вже не було<br />
-Зеля:Фух відірвалися!<br />
-Дівчинка сказала своїм батькам що бачила мишей і вони покласти отруту проти мишей<br />
-Ари:О дивися напевно це та дівчина принесла нам солодощі я спробую чи смачне<br />
-Зеля:Нііііі не їж цього це отрута<br />
-Коли Зеля це сказала вже було пізно Ари померла і Зеля знову залишилася одна!<br />
Христина<br />
“Zel’s Mouse and Ara’s Mouse”<br />
There lived a mouse, her name was Zelya, she had a very difficult life because no one needs mice and people<br />
just hate them. The mouse lived in a hole and constantly had to steal some food from people for herself<br />
because she would not have survived without food. One day, the mouse was lying on the floor and noticed<br />
how a lot of different cheese and other food fell into the hole. Because the mouse lived alone in the hole, it
did not have to share food with anyone. Because the mouse was smart, it put the food away on the days she<br />
was not hungry. When a month passed, she saw that there was no more food in her storage when she went to<br />
the kitchen to find something to eat, so she would die of hunger. When she went to the kitchen, she saw that<br />
there was no one in the house and there was only dry bread. And it turned out that the owner of the apartment<br />
moved due to very noisy neighbors, but this did not stop the mouse. Zelya decided to steal food from<br />
the neighbors. When the neighbors opened the door, she soon ran into the apartment and hid in the German<br />
room where there was another mouse. Her name was Ary. When Zelya saw her, she was so scared that she<br />
screamed<br />
Zelya: Who are you?<br />
Zelya shouted<br />
-Ary:- I’m Ary, what are you doing here?<br />
-Zelya: My landlady moved out of the apartment and I decided to come here.<br />
-Ary: We will live well together!<br />
- Zelya: Good!<br />
-Ari: Let’s go to the kitchen, I’ll show you everything.<br />
While they were walking, the owners of the apartment turned back home!<br />
-Ari: Tikamo ,the owner’s dog is coming!<br />
The beagle remembered the scent of the mice and ran after them.<br />
-Zelya: Oh no, it’s gaining on us!<br />
-Zelya ran so fast that she created a dust cloud, leaving the dog in the dust.<br />
-Ari: Oh, marveling singsongly done! Look, the girl brought us malt, I’ll try to see if it’s juicier.<br />
The mice sip the malt.<br />
-Zelya: Hm, it’s not that bad<br />
The malt was poisonous and it killed Ari! Zelya was left alone again….<br />
Christina
Play by Maria<br />
Жив був Спандж Боб.Він приїхав в Дублін і хоче замовити бургер .Він хоче<br />
спитати у прохожих де є McDonald’s. Спандж Боб питає у краба.<br />
С:Ви не знаєте де тут McDonald’s?<br />
К: Да я знаю де він 30 метрів вперед і потім наліво потім ви побачите.<br />
С:Дуже вам вдячний .<br />
Па Па Па Па па Па Па Па… ОПА а вот і McDonald’s. С:Добрий день у вас є крацбургер?<br />
Р.М: ні у нас немає ,у нас є тільки сирний бургер , бігмак і чікен бургер<br />
С: добре давати Бік маг<br />
спандж Боб уже їсть і тут бачення його друга Патріка<br />
С: О!? Патрік<br />
П: спандж Боб<br />
С: що ти тут робиш?<br />
П: гуляю ВЗАГАЛІ ПРИЇХАВ НА СВЯТО СВЯТОГО ПАТРІКА<br />
С давав завтра підемо на це свято разом<br />
П: я згоден ,тільки зараз я піду замовлення крадзбургер<br />
С: СТІЙ<br />
П:що таке<br />
С: тут немає красбургерів там є тільки чікен бургер, бігмак і мирний бургер<br />
П: а в тебе який ?<br />
С:в мене біг маг<br />
П: оК<br />
ЗАВТРА<br />
С: привіт Патрік<br />
П: привіт спандж Боб<br />
С: ну все пішли на свято<br />
П: ок<br />
Друзям дуже сподобалось парад і вони поїхали назад в океан ДОДОМУ.Патрік і спандж Боб приїхали<br />
до своїх домів спандж Боб в ананас а Патрік до каменя . І вони потім дуже гарно проводили час<br />
разом і всім розказали про свою подорож знайомим<br />
SpongeBob once lived. He goes to Dublin and wants to order a burger. He asks passers-bys where McDonald’s<br />
is. SpongeBob asks the crab.<br />
Crab: You don’t know where McDonald’s is? Yes, I know where it is, it’s 30 meters ahead and then to the left,<br />
then you will see.
Spongebob: Thank you very much.<br />
Spongebob: Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa... OPA here is McDonald’s.<br />
SpongeBob walks into McDonald’s.<br />
Spongebob: Good afternoon, do you have Kratzburger?<br />
Employee: No, we don’t have one, we only have a cheese burger, a big mac and a chicken burger<br />
Crab: It would be good to have a Big mac.<br />
While SpongeBob orders a Big Mac. While he is eating, he has a vision of his friend Patrick.<br />
SpongeBob: Oh!? Patrick?<br />
Patrick: SpongeBob!<br />
SpongeBob: What are you doing here?<br />
Patrick: It’s St. Patty’s!<br />
Crab: Come tomorrow, we will celebrate together.<br />
Patrick: I’ll only agree if I can have a Kratzburger.<br />
Spongebob: STOP<br />
Patrick: What is it?<br />
Crab: There are no Kratzburgers here, only chicken burgers, Big Macs and cheese burgers.<br />
Patrick: What did you have?<br />
SpongeBob: I got a Big Mac.<br />
Patrick: And did you like it?<br />
Spongebob: It’s no Kratzburger.<br />
The next day.<br />
Spongebob: Hi Patrick!<br />
Patrick: Hello SpongeBob!<br />
S: Let’s go to the parade!<br />
P: OK!<br />
Spongebob and Patrick go to the parade and have a terrific time!<br />
The friends really enjoyed the parade and went back to the ocean, home. Patrick and SpongeBob arrived at<br />
their homes, SpongeBob to the pineapple and Patrick to his rock. They had a great time together and told<br />
their friends about their trip.
Out of Dublin<br />
By Max<br />
Play begins on a pier in Dublin, 1962<br />
They’re ambition is to sale to county Down in Northern Ireland, they are sneaking around to steal a boat in<br />
the cold chilly night air they untie the boat and they begin They’re journey.<br />
Characters:<br />
Penny, 15<br />
Lucas, 16<br />
Penny: Do you think we will be able to find our parents ? (uncertainly)<br />
Lucas: I Don’t know but it’s worth a shot. (Determined)<br />
Penny: what do we do if we can’t find them ? (Uncertainly)<br />
Lucas: I don’t know (emphatically)<br />
Penny: do you think we will remember what they look like.<br />
Pause.<br />
Penny: lucas why are we here ?<br />
Lucas:we are going to steal a boat<br />
Penny: WHAT NO WE ARE NOT !<br />
Lucas: yes we are, we are going to sail to down straight from here<br />
Penny: no thats ridiculuos<br />
lucas : look it’s only 1 night on the boat plus we get to see mum and dad<br />
Penny : FINE but if something goes wrong I am holding you responsible !
Lucas : thats fine with me.<br />
Lucas unravels the rope from the boat<br />
Penny: have you ever sailed ?<br />
Lucas: ofcourse I have… not<br />
Penny: Oh well one day we’ll laugh about this, IF we survive.<br />
Lucas snuggles up in his coat and lay down in the boat.<br />
Lucas: you should probably get some rest.<br />
Penny is awakened by the heavy rain and rough seas.<br />
Lucas was already awake eating some bread.<br />
Penny: Why didn’t you wake me up ? (Irritated)<br />
Lucas: I thought you needed your beauty sleep (humouredly)<br />
Penny looks behind lucas and sees smoke and villages<br />
Penny: LUCAS WE ARE HERE !!!!!! (JOYFULLY)<br />
Lucas turns around in shock!
Phat gas<br />
By Michael D.<br />
Characters- Conn óg ( o conor) 35 <strong>year</strong>s old<br />
Conn o conor, Conns ógs older brother 41 <strong>year</strong>s old<br />
Suit guy, conns best friend 42 <strong>year</strong>s old<br />
Tomás o conor the father 67 <strong>year</strong>s old.<br />
Setting(s) rathmines Dublin Swan leisure swimming pool. takes place in 2017<br />
Scene 1.<br />
(Conn óg and his father are in Conn óg’s room)<br />
Tomás: what do you want?<br />
Conn óg: I’ll have 6 big macs and some fries.<br />
Tomás: I’ll be back in fifteen.<br />
Sound effect number 1. McDonald’s https://youtu.be/tfhlEP8LT4k<br />
Scene 2.<br />
(Suit guy enters Conn Óg’s room looking for his best friend Conn, instead he finds Conn’s overweight brother.)<br />
Suit guy: Man you need to stop eating so much McDonald’s or you’re gonna die soon.<br />
Conn Óg: (cautiously) I’m not sure I can do that. You see I have a problem.<br />
Suit guy: what’s that?<br />
Conn Óg: My brother.<br />
(Dramatic DUN DUN DUN)<br />
Suit guy: What’s wrong with him? He’s my best friend!<br />
Conn Óg: You see, ever since I was born, I’ve been treated as the unimportant brother while your bestie is<br />
treated as the special one.<br />
Suit guy: So what do you want me to do?<br />
Conn Óg: I need you to kill your best friend, my brother, (smiles) because then I’ll feel less overshadowed by<br />
my brother and then I might stop eating.<br />
Sound effect number 2. Oh my god meme https://youtu.be/czhd1eHv6ac<br />
(Suit guy thinking heavily)
Suit guy: Sure.<br />
(Suit guy leaves the room)<br />
Scene 3.<br />
(Tomás (dad) comes back from McDonald’s)<br />
Dad: I have your food.<br />
Conn Óg: Thanks, but I asked for 6 not 15.<br />
Dad: Egh, just keep eating, making me proud.<br />
Conn Óg: Okay.
Smart Smarter yet smarter by Mykhailo<br />
Narrator-{The <strong>year</strong> is 2077. Not much has changed from <strong>2022</strong>. Everybody on<br />
earth is working… Except for.}<br />
Joey- Billy! WAKE UP NOW!<br />
Billy- huh… what’s wrong?<br />
Joey: ( Shouting) What’s wrong? WHAT’S WRONG?! You’re going to be late for your<br />
interview!<br />
Billy : (calmly) It’s fine I still have 5 minutes. It’s fiiiiine I still can sleep….<br />
Joey: Yes you do still have five minutes…(Shouting) AND YOU NEED 20 TO GET THERE!<br />
Billy: Jeez OK OK I’m going. {This is Joey, my roommate. We live in a dorm and we go to<br />
Trinity college and I went to search for a side job… as you see it’s not going very well}<br />
PART 2<br />
Billy:{I am kinda lazy… but I have good, no not just good PERFECT. So I get the scholarship.<br />
I want to go work at a printing company, and yes I have a car. If you wonder I’m<br />
20 and as for Joey she’s 19}<br />
Narrator: {Billy came to the building, it a tall grey and boring skyscraper the guards let<br />
him in}<br />
Guard1: I’d please.<br />
Narrator: {Billy showed his I’d to the big guard. He was very tall}<br />
Guard 1: You may pass.<br />
Billy: Thanks.<br />
Stranger: WAIT!!!<br />
TO BE CONTINUED —>>
Johnnys killing spree by Oliver<br />
Narrator:this is Johnny, (Johnny walking in backround) for some reason jhonny will<br />
not stop killing! (Jhonny murdering someone in backround)<br />
Jhonny:(smashes skull) ha ha ha yess!(slurp slurp) aha…oh darn I’m doing it again.<br />
(takes off hockey mask) but what should I do with the body? (Thinking) eh ill just<br />
chuck it in a dumpster(picks up body) oh dear… it seems the dumpster is full. I’ll just<br />
put the body in the one across the street (crosses Street with many people looking at<br />
him carrying body) hmm I should see a therapist.<br />
Narrator:so he did go to the therapist<br />
Therapist:um jhonny I think you kill so so many people because you deem yourself<br />
unworthy of your fathers love.<br />
Johnny:but that makes no sense! My parents are lesbian!<br />
Therapist:um…err…<br />
Security:oh I’m sorry this lady is not a Therapist (detains her) you,ll have to find another<br />
therapist in another office.<br />
Jhonny:sigh fine (2 hrs later) there’s no other Therapists that want to help killers.<br />
Maybe I can stop my murders if I discover who my father is! I’ll have to ask mom’s<br />
about the doner.<br />
Narrator:at the funeral<br />
Jhonny: (yells at graves) WHERE IS THE DONER? (He waits a few seconds) oh there?<br />
Thanks,mum’s how’ve you been?<br />
Narrator:and so, jhonny went to the doners apartment…<br />
(Jhonny knocks on doners door)<br />
Doner:um who are you? And how can I help you?<br />
Jhonny:I need help! Your donation helped make me! And I can’t stop killing people!<br />
What should I do<br />
Doner: well I’m afraid it runs in the family, and there is, no, cure…<br />
Jhonny: gasp! DUN DUN DUNNNN!<br />
Narrator:don’t worry the doners joking, but jhonny doesn’t know that<br />
To be continued
Play by Róisín<br />
(In an office in London)<br />
ACT 1 SCENE1<br />
Chief of Police: I have a new case for you<br />
Heather: Oui oui. When do I leave? Where is it based?<br />
Chief of Police: In Ireland’s capital. Your flight is already booked. You will leave in the morning.<br />
Heather: Oui<br />
Chief of Police: It is a suspected murder case.Here is the fact file and plane ticket. The Irish<br />
police need our help.<br />
Heather: Merci beacoup Monsieur Stoker.<br />
(Both walk off stage)<br />
SCENE 2<br />
(Heather is on the plane reading the fact file)<br />
Heather: Oh! So, Suspect No. 1 is Mr Jack Bangsly, the victim’s husband. Suspect No. 2 is the<br />
owner of the cafe where Ms Violet Bangsly died in. And Suspect No. 3 is the man she was with<br />
when she died, Mr Joe Stodway, a childhood fellow schoolgoer. The witness, the barista Ms<br />
Katherine O’Conner, who was on her shift when the victim had a sudden seizure and died.<br />
Air Hostess: Would you like a beverage or packet of crisps?<br />
Heather: A packet of crisps please.<br />
Air Hostess: What flavour madam?<br />
Heather: Salt & Vinegar sil vous plait.<br />
Air Hostess: Here you are madam. Enjoy.<br />
Heather: Merci beacoup.<br />
Air Hostess: Of course madam.<br />
SCENE 3<br />
(Heather is on her red moped going through Dublin, she stops outside Cafe Destiny. She enters<br />
the empty cafe.)<br />
Heather: Bonjour.<br />
Jo Carlton: How can I help you madam.<br />
Heather: I am on a business trip, but first I need a croissant and a black coffee.<br />
Jo Carlton: Coming right up.<br />
Heather: Merci.<br />
(Heather sits down. Jo Carlton brings her the order)<br />
Jo Carlton: Don’t mind me asking, but I’m very curious to know what your business trip is all<br />
about. You seem like a very interesting woman.<br />
Heather: Sit. We shall talk. My trip actually involves you.<br />
Jo Carlton: What?!<br />
Heather: Do not worry! I am a detective, I’m here about the case of Mrs Violet Bangsly.Would<br />
you mind if I interigate you?<br />
Jo Carlton: I’d rather not, I have some scones in the oven and they burn easily.<br />
Heather: It would only take a minute, and anyway, you would have time to remake the scones<br />
if they burn. Seeing as you’re not busy.<br />
Jo Carlton: What cheek! How dare you!<br />
(She storms off into the kitchen and yells.)<br />
Jo Carlton: What a perfect day! Now the scones are burned!<br />
( Heather chuckles softly)<br />
Heather: I’ll be off then.<br />
Jo Carlton: And do well to not come back!<br />
( Just as Heather leaves.)<br />
Jo Carlton: Hope you find you’re murderer!<br />
SCENE 4<br />
(Heather is on her moped and she stops outside an office block. She goes in and is allowed past<br />
the guards.)<br />
Heather: Bonjour, are you the receptionist?<br />
Receptionist: That I am. Welcome to the River Journey, I’m Rina, how may I help you?
Heather: I am here to see Mr. Joe Stodwey.<br />
Receptionist: Have you made an appointment with him?<br />
Heather: No, but it is urgent.<br />
Receptionist: He is a busy man, and without an appointment you can’t see him.<br />
Heather: Would this Police badge let me see him?<br />
Receptionist: Of course Ms. Hamnan you should have said that, right away!<br />
SCENE 5<br />
Heather:Bonjour. Are you Monsieur Joe Stodway?<br />
Mr Stodway: That I am. How may I help?<br />
Heather: I am here to interegate you about the death of Ms Violet Bangsly.<br />
Mr Stodway: Well, I was about to have a call with a colleague, but I know this is more important.<br />
I really did like Violet, my childhood sweetheart actually.<br />
Heather: May I sit down for a moment. It won’t take long.<br />
Mr Stodway: Of course.<br />
(Heather takes a moleskin book and a pen out of her pocket.)<br />
Heather: So how long did you know Ms Bangsly?<br />
Mr Stodway: I was seven when she was born. I lived down the street from her.<br />
Heather: And…<br />
Mr Stodway: I was in fifth class when she started in junior infants.<br />
Heather: Did you’re families get along?<br />
Mr Stodway: Oh yes! My mother was Violet’s mother’s best friend.<br />
(The lights dim as they continue talking)<br />
ACT 2 SCENE 1<br />
(Heather is on her red moped going past a run down estate. She stops and knocks on a door)<br />
Heather: Bonjour?<br />
Mr Bangsly: Hello? Who’s there?<br />
(Jack comes to the door dressed in black)<br />
Mr Bangsly: How can I help?<br />
Heather: Are you Mr Bangsly?<br />
Mr Bangsly: That’s me. How can I help?<br />
Heather: I’m with the police, investigating your wife’s death.<br />
Mr Bangsly: Well come in then. So sorry.<br />
Heather: I’m so sorry for your loss.<br />
Mr Bangsly: Thank you. I’m afraid that my three <strong>year</strong> old is home from school so we won’t get<br />
any proper privacy.<br />
(They go into the kitchen. Heather takes out her notebook and pen.)<br />
Mr Bangsly: Would you like tea or coffee?<br />
Heather: no thank you<br />
Mr Bangsly: I won’t waste your time then, have a seat .<br />
Heather: Thank you… So how long have you and Violet been married?<br />
Mr Bangsly: 4 <strong>year</strong>s.<br />
Heather: Alright… So have you had an affair with anyone else in that time?<br />
Mr Bangsly blushes and looks ashamed.<br />
Heather: When did you start seeing the other person?<br />
Mr Bangsly: I met Sadie last summer at Oscar’s birthday party. We’ve been together ever<br />
since. Oh god! I sound so suspicous! Honestly, I would never do anything to deprive Oscar of<br />
his mother.<br />
Heather: You sound like an honest man. Most likely innocent, but guilty until proven otherwise.<br />
Goodbye Mr Bangsly.<br />
Heather leaves and drives into the country. She knocks on the door of a bungalow. A girl in her<br />
20s answers.<br />
Heather: Bonjour are you Katherine O’Connor?<br />
Katherine: Yup! How can I help?<br />
Heather: Aren’t you the witness of Mrs Violet Bangsly’s death and possible murder?<br />
Katherine: come in and we’ll talk.<br />
Heather: Of course.<br />
SCENE 2<br />
Heather: So what did you see? What exactly did you serve them?<br />
Katherine: I served Violet a pain au chocolat and green tea. I gave her accomplice a slice of<br />
cake and coffee. Violet is a regular costomer and she always has the same order.<br />
I went to make a latte for another customer and saw Mr Stodwey put a packet of sugar into his
coffee, Violet was in the bathroom and when she sat down she started shaking and fell onto<br />
the floor. Dead as a doorbell!<br />
Heather: interesting… then what happened?<br />
Katherine: I threw out the tea and pain eu chocolat and called an ambulance. They brought her<br />
back to the hospital, but Mr Stodwey didn’t go. He stayed sipped his coffee, finished his cake<br />
and left. I thought it was very odd.<br />
Heather: is that all?<br />
Katherine: I hope you find out how she died.<br />
Heather: au revoir!<br />
Katherine: bye.<br />
Heather leaves and goes back to her hotel. She phones her boss to give him the case report.<br />
Heather: I found out who and how Violet was murdered.<br />
Cop: who?<br />
Heather: Mr Joe Stodwey… the witness said he put suagr in his coffee, but he had actually put<br />
a packet of arsenic into Violet’s tea. He then switched them around and poisened Violet. He<br />
said that she was his childhood sweetheart, so I think that four <strong>year</strong>s ago, she rejected him<br />
and married Jack. Jack was having an affair, but cares too much about his son to kill his wife. I<br />
found out from the witness that the reason Josephine Carlton was so suspicous was that Violet<br />
was her neice.<br />
Cop: Well done, detective Hamnan!<br />
End Scene
@<br />
The interview<br />
by Thomas<br />
Act 1<br />
(I) Hello and welcome to the four o’clock show. I’m<br />
your host michaelish and today our first guest is<br />
Mike the mad scientist from morroco hello Mike<br />
(M) Hello michaelish<br />
(I) SQo Mike what’s your job<br />
(M) I’m a mad scientist<br />
(I) WOW that’s an interesting job<br />
(M)it is and I love it<br />
(I) how did you become a mad scientist<br />
(M)Well I’ll tell you so when I was born I cried a lot so<br />
my parents left me out to the wild<br />
(I) That’s not great<br />
(M)it’s not but I got lucky and a group of cyodies<br />
raised me<br />
(I)what a stroke of luck<br />
(M)It gets worse<br />
HOW??????????????!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!!<br />
(M) the cyodies had rabies<br />
(I) ARE YOU ALIVE<br />
(M) instead of killing me the rabies turned me mad<br />
(I)OH OK<br />
(M)so I went back to mainland and went to a university<br />
With my mad ideas and got a degree in science<br />
(I)That’s good<br />
(M)yeah it is so I opened a shop and sell my great<br />
Inventions<br />
(I) Well that’s enough for now and I,’ll see you after the joke break<br />
WHAT DO SCIENTIST WEAR ON DATE’S designer genes
Why do you never trust atoms they make everything<br />
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHV09L1_<br />
(I) WELCOMe BACK FROM THE break everyone now we have Sammy snail from<br />
sibearia<br />
Hello Sammy<br />
Hello michaelish<br />
So Sammy what do you do<br />
I smoke<br />
How old are you<br />
Nine and 3 quarters<br />
Years!?<br />
No stupid months<br />
WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
and when I’m 10 months old I get my own lighter (cough)(cough)<br />
I think I you need to stop smoking<br />
You sound like a Doctor ARE you a doctor<br />
What no wait what are u doing<br />
I’m having a smoke<br />
Not in here not now get out your banned for life<br />
OK Mr grumpy<br />
OUT NOW<br />
Now that’s all for today now come back tomorrow for two more<br />
People<br />
Jokes<br />
Why did the snail cross the road? Because he was feeling sluggish!<br />
Why is hulk a good gardener Because he has green fingers canned laughter
Play by Dmytro<br />
бил один чоловік і він хотів стати писатилем и ему одним днем попався один<br />
мудрець бил очень мудрим і він допомог чоловіку його ім’я Карл<br />
Мудрець:(приветствует) здрастуй как тебя завут юнец<br />
Карл:моє імя Карл<br />
Мудрець:(разводит руками)тобі треба допомога<br />
Карл:я хочу писати книги тому що я творчій чоловік<br />
Мудрець:(говорит) тобі щоб стати писатилем тобі треба розібратися в собі<br />
Карл:що це брехня<br />
(Иде до мудреця)Прошли 2 года він прийшов до Мудреця він найшов собі жінку<br />
І у нього було дві дитини і він дуже їх любив і він їх навчив писати твори і його<br />
діти стали теж письменниками<br />
Карл:(він прийшов з своми детьми и вони поклонилися)дякую вам за пораду я<br />
зміг розібратись в собі<br />
Мудрець:ти можеш зробити що ти захочеш коли ти розбірешся в собі мені<br />
залишилося трохи ти готов стать настоящим Мудрець<br />
Карл:я продолжу ваше дело мастер(поклонился и ушел)<br />
Пройшов один год Мудрець умер и Карл с своїми дітьми він допомагав людям<br />
Пройшли годи вони дпомогал людям и він помер перед смерті він сказав<br />
своїми дітям<br />
Карл:ви повинні продовжувати мою роботу (і він помер)
The Cork City Catastrophe<br />
By Zoe<br />
Act 1 Scene 1<br />
{In a small cottage deep in the countryside of West Cork, two girls are in their room, arguing}<br />
Roisin: Can we please just go? Even for a week<br />
Saoirse: No, I hate the city! There are way too many people *shakes head*<br />
Roisin: Please Saoirse, you know it’s my dream to live in the city<br />
Saoirse: You heard me clearly. No!<br />
{Saoirse storms out of the room. Roisin follows close behind}<br />
Scene 2<br />
{Saoirse and Roisin run into the kitchen, where their mam is sitting with a cup of tea}<br />
Saoirse: Mam, please tell Roisin that we aren’t going to live in Cork City for a week!<br />
Roisin: Please can we go, mam!<br />
Mam: Saoirse, I think it would be good for you to get out of your comfort zone for a bit<br />
Saoirse: Please mam, no!<br />
{Roisin’s face lights up}<br />
Roisin: Does that mean we’re going?!<br />
Mam: Sounds like it to me!<br />
{Saoirse groans and Roisin stars jumping up and down}<br />
Roisin *excited*: Thank you, thank you, thank you! I’ll go pack my things<br />
Scene 3<br />
{Roisin and Saoirse are getting on the train to go to Cork City. Their mam is on the platform<br />
seeing them off}<br />
Roisin: Bye mam! *waves*<br />
Saoirse: Bye.<br />
Mam: Good luck! See you in a week!<br />
{The train slowly starts to move. Roisin waves out the window. Soon, the train is out of sight}<br />
*in the train*<br />
Roisin: Saoirse, look at this view!<br />
{Saoirse look up from her book}<br />
Saoirse *distant*: Cool *looks back down*
Roisin: You could at least try to have fun<br />
*Saoirse puts on headphones*<br />
Saoirse: Sorry, can’t hear you<br />
Scene 4<br />
{The girls are getting off the train in Cork City. They see their friend Caoimhe holding a sign<br />
saying ‘Welcome Roisin and Saoirse!’}<br />
Roisin: Hey Caoimhe!<br />
Caoimhe: Hi guys! I’m so excited you’ll be staying with me!<br />
Roisin: That makes two of us! Saoirse on the other hand, hates the city<br />
Saoirse: How do you stand all the people!<br />
Caoimhe: Before we go to the house, I thought we could pop down to the beach for a bit and<br />
get something to eat? Don’t worry, my mam knows all about it. All she says is be home in time<br />
for dinner!<br />
Saoirse: The beach!<br />
Caoimhe: I knew that would cheer you up a bit. Let’s go<br />
{They all walk out of the train station}<br />
Scene 5<br />
{The three girls are walking onto the sand. They have already changed into their bathing suits<br />
and sandals}<br />
Saoirse: Ahhh, the beach<br />
Caoimhe: See? I told you you’d like it<br />
Saoirse: Oh, I do! It’s so relaxing<br />
Roisin *smirks*: Not so bad after all, eh?<br />
*Saoirse gives Roisin a hard look*<br />
Caoimhe: Come, let’s swim!<br />
{They lay down their things, and run to the water}<br />
Roisin: It’s so cold!<br />
Saoirse: Yep. Deal with it<br />
Caoimhe: Be careful, the current is really strong today<br />
{They are quite far out to sea now}<br />
Caoimhe: Come back in a bit, Roisin<br />
Roisin: I can’t! I’m trying to swim, but I can’t!
Saoirse: Roisin!<br />
Caoimhe: Keep trying!<br />
{But Roisin is only getting farther away. She is struggling}<br />
Roisin: Help! Help!<br />
{The girls think all hope is lost, until they see a lifeguard on the shore}<br />
Saoirse: We’ll go get you help!<br />
*lights fade*<br />
END OF ACT 1<br />
ACT 2 SCENE 1<br />
{Caoimhe and Saoirse swim to the shore to alert the life guard}<br />
Saoirse: Excuse me, sir. Our friend is being taken away by the current, and she needs help immediately!<br />
Lifeguard: I’ll come right away<br />
{Saoirse shouts to Roisin, who is getting smaller by the second}<br />
Saoirse: The lifeguard is on the way. Just hold on!<br />
{They could she Roisin mouthing something, but it was hard to make out}<br />
{The lifeguard sprinted by them, holding a life buoy}<br />
Lifeguard: Hold on! I’m coming!<br />
{He runs into the water and throws out the bouy. Roisin grabs onto it and he pulls her in}<br />
Roisin *splutters*: *gasping* th-that was s-so sca-ar-ry!<br />
Caoimhe: Roisin, we were scared out of our skins!<br />
Saoirse: How about we go get some food now, eh?<br />
Roisin: Good idea<br />
{All three girls walk off the beach}<br />
Scene 2<br />
[3 days later]<br />
{Saoirse, Roisin, and Caoimhe are waiting for breakfast in the kitchen. Caoimhe’s mam is<br />
making Porridge for them}<br />
Caoimhe’s mam: Here we are, *hands out porridge*<br />
Caoimhe: Thanks mam. Do we have any orange juice?<br />
Caoimhe’s mam: Sorry love, we don’t. But maybe you girls could run out to the shops and get<br />
some after breakfast?
Caoimhe: That sounds fun. What do you guys think? *she turns to Saoirse and Roisin*<br />
Saoirse: I’d like that<br />
Roisin: Me too!<br />
Caoimhe’s mam: Okay, that’s settled. Now, eat up so you can leave quickly. We are going into<br />
town today to do some shopping<br />
Saoirse: Town? Shopping? People?!<br />
Roisin: Maybe it’s time you get over your fears of people and crowds<br />
Saoirse: uhh-<br />
*Saoirse quickly picks up her spoon and wolfing down her porridge to avoid the conversation*<br />
Roisin *muttering*: *sighs* we’ve seriously got to fix this…<br />
Scene 3<br />
{Everyone is waiting at the bus stop to go into the city center to go shopping. Each of the girls<br />
has been given €10 to spend}<br />
Roisin: I’m so excited to go shopping! I’ve never been shopping properly before<br />
Caoimhe: Come on, it’ll be fun! You’ll have some new clothes, maybe some jewlery even. Primark<br />
has the best selection, and all the trendy clothes<br />
Saoirse: Whatever you say…<br />
{The bus pulls up at the stop}<br />
Caoimhe’s mam: This is us! Come on,<br />
{They all get on the bus. The doors close, and it drives away}<br />
Scene 4<br />
{The bus pulls up in front of Penneys. There are floods of people walking the streets}<br />
Saoirse: I don’t like this at all<br />
Caoimhe: You’ll be fine, Saoirse<br />
Caoimhe’s mam: Come on, we can push past all the people<br />
{They weave throught the crowd and eneter the shop}<br />
Roisin: Wow, it’s so big. There are so many clothes!<br />
Caoimhe: Yeah, I know<br />
Saoirse: So.. big<br />
Caoimhe’s mam: You guys have 20 minutes to shop. Meet me back here after you guys have<br />
each found something<br />
Caoimhe: Okay mam, bye!
{They race away into the crowds}<br />
Scene 5<br />
{Caoimhe stops when they reach the womens section}<br />
Caoimhe: Here we are!<br />
Roisin: Wow! So many clothes!<br />
Saoirse: There’s also so many people..<br />
Caoimhe: Come on!<br />
{Roisin picks up a grey Nirvava band tee}<br />
Roisin: What do you think, Saoirse?<br />
Saoirse: Great… I feel a little dizzy<br />
Roisin: You’ll feel fine once you get used to it<br />
{Caoimhe calls Saoirse over}<br />
Caoimhe: Saoirse! Come look at these skirts!<br />
{Saoirse walks over, slightly stunbling}<br />
Saoirse: I really don’t feel good<br />
{Caoimhe keeps talking, but Saoirse is zoning out. She feels really dizzy now. She is stumbling}<br />
Roisin: Saoirse, are you okay. SAOIRSE!<br />
Saoirse: I.. feel… really sick…. and….dizzy<br />
{Saoirse collapses on the floor}<br />
Caoimhe: SAOIRSE!<br />
*they both run over to her as lights dim to black*<br />
END OF ACT 2
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