04.10.2022 Views

Green Book 2022: Tomorrow We'll Be Sore

Come along for a rollercoaster ride of a season with a motley crew of men from many walks of life playing the world game for a suburban football club. Laugh, cry or perhaps marvel at the inner workings of the thing that keeps them out of the house for many hours and glimpse the messy, uncomplicated beauty that is blokes playing sport. Tongues firmly in cheek!

Come along for a rollercoaster ride of a season with a motley crew of men from many walks of life playing the world game for a suburban football club.

Laugh, cry or perhaps marvel at the inner workings of the thing that keeps them out of the house for many hours and glimpse the messy, uncomplicated beauty that is blokes playing sport. Tongues firmly in cheek!

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A few games into the last season we quietly iced the 3-5-2 formation that Jorge (George) had

tried to explain to us in an unforgettable thread of about 50 consecutive WhatsApp posts

containing text, videos and schematics earlier in the year. We mention this because 3-5-2 not

only made a brief and again spectacularly ineffective appearance at the start of 2022 season

but Jorge’s 3-5-2 videos and his professed love for it have become a part of Greens’ folklore.

It is why Ely caused a lot of sudden beer spray on the day with his perfectly timed deadpan

response to the question on the whereabouts of a teammate.

On the business side of things, Greens grew ambitious. Sure, there was a direct correlation

between the number of beers drank on the day and our aspirations going from finishing

“top five” next year to “top three” to “winning the league”. But with most of the legs we had

last year, the recently crowned Club Champion Andrew Seaber on board and perhaps with a

few reinforcements, we were going to have a realistic shot at ‘glory’ that others may call ‘midto-top-table

finish in 2022’. Our defence grew stingy through 2021, we had plenty of midfielders,

we just had to get a bit of firepower at the front. We started asking around and even

the odd taxi drivers were keen to boast about their credentials but no real takers.

As we brainstormed who might bolster our attack, Sam Kerr was making media headlines by

shirtfronting a pitch invader. She would be a perfect fit as one of the two ‘under 45’ players

allowed in our league. Perfect not only as a striker but in terms of attitude, as expressed in

Greg’s clever paraphrase of the timeless words by our Muz when receiving a red card. But

for all of Muz’s cash handling skills, our depleted budget, especially after the beers at Otherside,

meant that champion Sam would need to keep playing for Chelsea to earn her crust.

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