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At its peak, the “in love” experience is euphoric. We

are emotionally obsessed with each other. We go to sleep

thinking of one another. When we rise that person is the

first thought on our minds. We long to be together.

Spending time together is like playing in the anteroom of

heaven. When we hold hands, it seems as if our blood

flows together. We could kiss forever if we didn’t have to go

to school or work. Embracing stimulates dreams of

marriage and ecstasy.

The person who is “in love” has the illusion that his

beloved is perfect. His mother can see the flaws but he

can’t. His mother says, “Darling, have you considered she

has been under psychiatric care for five years?” But he

replies, “Oh, Mother, give me a break. She’s been out for

three months now.” His friends also can see the flaws but

are not likely to tell him unless he asks, and chances are he

won’t because in his mind she is perfect and what others

think doesn’t matter.

Our dreams before marriage are of marital bliss: “We

are going to make each other supremely happy. Other

couples may argue and fight, but not us. We love each

other.” Of course, we are not totally naive. We know

intellectually that we will eventually have differences. But we

are certain that we will discuss those differences openly;

one of us will always be willing to make concessions, and

we will reach agreement. It’s hard to believe anything else

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