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the other person. Rather, it gives us the sense that we have

arrived and that we do not need further growth. We are at

the apex of life’s happiness, and our only desire is to stay

there. Certainly our beloved does not need to grow

because she is perfect. We simply hope she will remain

perfect.

If falling in love is not real love, what is it? Dr. Peck

concludes that it “is a genetically determined instinctual

component of mating behavior. In other words, the

temporary collapse of ego boundaries that constitutes

falling in love is a stereotypic response of human beings to

a configuration of internal sexual drives and external sexual

stimuli, which serves to increase the probability of sexual

pairing and bonding so as to enhance the survival of the

species.” 2

Whether or not we agree with that conclusion, those of

us who have fallen in love and out of love will likely agree

that the experience does catapult us into emotional orbit

unlike anything else we have experienced. It tends to

disengage our reasoning abilities, and we often find

ourselves doing and saying things that we would never

have done in more sober moments. In fact, when we come

down from the emotional obsession we often wonder why

we did those things. When the wave of emotions subsides

and we come back to the real world where our differences

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