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the other person. Rather, it gives us the sense that we have
arrived and that we do not need further growth. We are at
the apex of life’s happiness, and our only desire is to stay
there. Certainly our beloved does not need to grow
because she is perfect. We simply hope she will remain
perfect.
If falling in love is not real love, what is it? Dr. Peck
concludes that it “is a genetically determined instinctual
component of mating behavior. In other words, the
temporary collapse of ego boundaries that constitutes
falling in love is a stereotypic response of human beings to
a configuration of internal sexual drives and external sexual
stimuli, which serves to increase the probability of sexual
pairing and bonding so as to enhance the survival of the
species.” 2
Whether or not we agree with that conclusion, those of
us who have fallen in love and out of love will likely agree
that the experience does catapult us into emotional orbit
unlike anything else we have experienced. It tends to
disengage our reasoning abilities, and we often find
ourselves doing and saying things that we would never
have done in more sober moments. In fact, when we come
down from the emotional obsession we often wonder why
we did those things. When the wave of emotions subsides
and we come back to the real world where our differences