Surrey Homes | SH97 | February 2023 | Education Supplement inside

Green
Attraction
Jo Arnell looks into houseplants with benefits
istockphoto.com/ abibe vida / yuqian liu
Keeping houseplants will make
you more attractive. This is not
just a ploy by the houseplant
marketing board – according to some
research commissioned by The Joy of
Plants, all you need to boost your allure
is a houseplant or two. It turns out that
showing love to your houseplants is also
showing the world – and prospective
dates – that you are a kind and nurturing
person, and most likely to bestow the
same sort (well maybe not quite the
same – some people aren’t keen on regular
watering and dead-heading) of affection on
a partner. But before you substitute ‘good
sense of humour’ with ‘keeps houseplants
alive’ on your profile and rush out to buy
some, have a think about which plants to
choose, because some are easier to keep
alive than others and, judging by some
of mine, attraction can be short-lived.
Show you care
It helps to understand how to
look after the plants in your care,
especially if you want them to thrive
and look well tended and loved.
I bought a few houseplants last year.
Not to attract anyone you understand
(and my husband won’t read this, but
just in case), but mainly because I didn’t
have any (I’m too busy trying to keep
the outdoor plants alive) and I live in a
very low-beamed dark house with central
heating – conditions that even plants
from the floor of a very dense jungle don’t
much enjoy. Even in the brightest rooms
in houses with much higher ceilings
than mine, far less light is available to a
plant than we imagine – and so most of
our houseplants, certainly the lush and
leafy ones, come from warm woodlands
and rainforests, where light levels are
typically very low. Tropical forests are
humid places too, which is why so
many of our indoor plants do well in
bathrooms and kitchens – and shrivel up
when forced to watch Bake Off with us
in our centrally heated sitting rooms.
Plants that will manage in warm, dry
shade tend to have dark, leathery leaves –
dark green because they are packed with
chlorophyll to try and absorb as much
light as they can, and leathery to prevent
water loss. A good example of this is
an Aspidistra – a plant associated with
gloomy Victorian hallways and darkened
living rooms. Parlour palms (the clue is in
the name) and some ferns will also cope
in this sort of dry shade. Do not subject
a delicate Adiantum (Maidenhair) fern
to such conditions, though. I love these
little plants, but they are tricky and need
humidity – sit them on a tray of damp
gravel, mist at least twice a day. You
probably won’t have time to show love
to much else if you have one of these.
If you are lucky enough to have a
conservatory, or have south- or westfacing
windowsills, then succulents,
cacti and other desert-type plants will
thrive. A favourite with students, because
succulents don’t mind if you forget to
water them, not that all students neglect
plants (certainly not once they know
how attractive plant-keeping might
make them). Contrary to popular belief,
they do need watering, mostly as they
come into active growth in the spring
– and they will even enjoy a summer
holiday in the garden – just remember
to bring them in again in the autumn.
Something to love
You might not be looking for a human
companion right now, so the houseplants
in your life could be there for your
own pleasure. Most of us – even if it is
buried deep – are nurturers by nature
and watching a plant in your care grow
and flourish is rewarding. It’s also much
cheaper and less of a commitment than
having a pet (I won’t say partner, but…)
and, although a plant won’t necessarily
show actual love to you in return, it will
respond by unfurling a new leaf, bursting
into bloom and generally looking healthy
and well cared for. If you’re a gardener
you’ll know this and most likely will be
completely hooked into plant care already.
Romantic houseplant gifts
I know it’s traditional to give red roses
at this time of the year, but roses don’t
usually bloom in February. They will have
been forced in an unromantic polytunnel,
or flown in from a far flung field. Also,
once cut and plonked in a vase, the only
way is down and out onto the compost
heap. A houseplant gift, however, chosen
carefully to suit the recipient, could
last a lifetime, or at least several weeks
longer than a bunch of cut flowers.
You don’t want to give something called
‘Mother-in-law’s Tongue’ or a snake plant
to someone, despite its indestructibility
and ability to purify the air. There are
more romantic looking and sounding
gifts to try. Anthuriums, with their heartshaped
spathes (a spathe is like a flower,
only longer lasting) fittingly available
in red, pink or white, look the part and
with their elegant waxy leaves, are easy
to care for too. Another plant with
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