5 Steps to Breaking Free from Porn _Joe Dallas (2)

Wounds crave remedy. Old rejections, early abuse, broken relationships,
and a sense of personal failure can all contribute to what I call “emotional
wounding.” This type of pain leaves men defensive, depressed, isolated,
and/or enraged. Often, instead of dealing directly with the source of the pain,
we learn to medicate rather than address its roots, creating psychological and
spiritual trauma as the emotional hurt finds solace through sinful and spiritually
destructive acts.
So let me ask you plainly: Do you hurt? Does your mind often return to
painful events, whether from early in life or more recently? Do you revisit
them and relive them—in memory and in pain? Is intimacy something you shy
away from because your history includes severe betrayal or rejection? Are you
currently in a relationship that causes you continued pain—pain you haven’t
been willing to discuss openly?
If so, then you need to look at the ways you’ve been coping with the pain
and the causes of the pain itself. It may be time for you to finally confront the
person who caused the hurt, if confrontation over a serious and ongoing
violation is called for. Or you may need to correct the part of the relationship
that needs changed. Either way, know this: If an ongoing relational problem is
the source of your emotional wounds, then as a steward of the soul that’s in
pain, you need to address it with honesty, maturity, a willingness to forgive,
and the possible implementation of boundaries to prevent future wounding.
Clearly, hurt or anger over someone else’s sin is not a valid excuse for
your own. But it’s equally clear that ongoing pain makes you more susceptible
to medicating yourself in wrong ways. Both the pain and the medication are
problems, and now is the time to do something about them.
Principle 3: Weak links weaken lives.
Character problems aren’t emotional wounds; they’re just weaknesses
common to the human race. They’re symptomatic of the sin nature, and they
vary from person to person. I have mine; you have yours. No big deal—except
when those character weaknesses become doors that porn (or other ongoing
sin) use to get into your life. Then your personal weakness isn’t just a
weakness; it’s a chink in your armor as well.
Take selfishness, for example. It’s a common weakness. The man who’s in
the habit of selfishly taking what he wants, whether right or wrong, will find
the sin of self-centeredness makes the sin of porn use much easier to fall into.