5 Steps to Breaking Free from Porn _Joe Dallas (2)

example, “I’ll lose my marriage/reputation/self-respect/spiritual strength if I
don’t stop.”
What can I add to that? Only this: Your use of pornography may well not be
the only problem. It can become a bridge to more serious, life-altering actions.
The guy who stimulates himself on hard-core images often finds the images
lose their “kick” after a time, leaving him craving a stronger fix. The fix may
then come through actions even more consequential than porn, such as online
connections, strip clubs, massage parlors, prostitutes, and affairs. These
consequences can be prevented if a man takes steps to break the porn habit
while the problem is still in the private stage.
This is doubly true if you’re a family man. Your children can’t help but be
damaged if they find out that Dad, who preaches morality and chastity to them,
has been practicing something altogether different behind closed doors. Your
credibility as leader in the home is largely made or broken by consistency.
Inconsistency is a problem no leader, especially the head of a household, can
afford.
My goal isn’t to provide an in-depth look at the psychological issues that
might contribute to a man’s weakness for lusty images. I fully believe there are
problems of the soul that can make you more susceptible to certain vices, porn
included. But lust is also an equal-opportunity sin. Guys with deep
psychological wounds can fall into it, and guys bursting with emotional health
can be just as vulnerable. So while a book on the psychology of porn use might
be an interesting read, this book isn’t it.
Instead, this is a handbook to help you break free from porn and stay that
way. It’s based in part on my years of experience counseling men who came to
my office desperate for help with their sexual issues. They didn’t come to me
because of a bad decision they made. They came because of hundreds—even
thousands—of bad decisions that linked together to forge a chain they wore
like a prisoner’s shackles.
The Chain Is Forged
The first link in the chain usually starts with a discovery. Some act—the
use of porn, a sexual fantasy, whatever—delivers a perceived positive impact.
A deep impact the brain carefully records for future reference. Then, when a
man is either bored, or angry, or lonely, or uncomfortable in some way, the