August 2023 Parenta magazine

There are times in everyone’s life when
we need to either welcome new friends
and meet new people or say goodbye to
the people we already know and love.
There are very few people who are with
us on our entire life journey. Mostly, we
encounter new friends and colleagues
along the way. Some of them we meet
only once, others are there for a short time,
and yet others could be with us for life.
So how do we best teach our early years
children about this fundamental truth - that
sometimes we need to be ready to say
“hello”, and other times, we need to find a
way to say “goodbye”?
Hellos
Hellos and goodbyes
In general, ‘hellos’ are usually easier to
say than ‘goodbyes’ because we have
less to lose. We don’t yet know the person,
and have not yet formed any relationship
with, or attachment to them, so we have
nothing to lose by saying “hello”.
Someone once said that: “Strangers are
just friends we haven’t met yet” and this
seems a compassionate and optimistic
way to view all new faces. When meeting
new people, whether talking about staff or
children, there are some factors that can
influence how easy people find it. These
include:
Whether everyone is new (such as at
the start of term), or whether they are
the only new one (for example when
people join part-way through a term)
How confident the person feels inside
The culture they come from
Their personality type - introverted or
extroverted
Any special needs they have, for
example, they may dislike crowds
or noise, or be completely opposite
and need to run around and meet
everyone
The situation on the day i.e. whether
they are late, early or stressed
The emotional state of the other
people they are meeting
How to ease ‘hellos’ for
children
At the start of term, think about:
Creating a welcome pack and
sending this out to parents in good
time
What your procedure is for drop-off
and how long parents/carers are
allowed to stay
Activities that can calm nervous/
anxious or excited children so that the
setting is ordered and calm. These
could be circle games, name games,
and introductions
Think about how to mark the moment
for children so they know it’s a special
day – you could help them create a
“This is me” book, or a short video
(if you have consent) or perhaps a
display where the children draw or
mark-make something unique
The rules and agreements that you
need to establish on day one, and
which ones can be spaced out over
the day – e.g. lunchtime routines
Staffing and who will be introduced,
e.g. key person, room leaders
Think too about how you will minimise
potential conflicts on day one and
what you will do should they occur
Organising ‘friendship days’ prior to
the start date
For staff
New staff need to be made to feel
welcome and that they can easily fit into
the team. They ideally need a buddy or
mentor identified so that they can ask
them questions easily without always
feeling like ‘the new person’.
New staff should also have a proper
induction process which includes
safeguarding training, HR checks, a tour,
details of all day-to-day procedures and
protocols, and an introduction to their
team.
If staff or students join part-way through
the year, make sure that you have a plan
to help them integrate into your setting. It’s
always more difficult being the only new
person and trying to break into alreadyestablished
friendship groups. Try to plan
ahead and explain to the existing people
that there will be a new friend starting. If
you can arrange for the class to meet the
new child (perhaps on a tour) before the
actual start date, then this could minimise
anxiety.
On the day, make sure you check-in
regularly with them and give them a
buddy or friends (possibly 2) so that they
feel there is someone to help. Make sure
that their key person is available on the
day they start and have regular check-ins
for the next few days and weeks until they
are settled.
Think too about any specific issues that
the mid-term starter might face. Perhaps
they are a looked after child (LAC) or an
asylum-seeker, which might mean they
have some trauma or language issues to
overcome on top of the usual “I’m new”
anxieties.
Goodbyes
As mentioned earlier, saying “goodbye”
can be difficult for children. There are a
number of situations where children might
experience this such as:
Children or staff leaving
Children transitioning to Reception
Moving rooms or changing the key
person
Staff retiring
Family separations
Bereavements
Some of these instances are well-known
in advance, such as a transition to
Reception class and can be well-planned.
Others, may have no warning and cause
additional trauma.
Planning is important where possible. For
transitions to Reception, think about:
Marking the moment with a special
book (like a yearbook) and assembly.
Twinkl have a number of different
transition day resources on their site
Talking openly about the transition
with optimism and excitement so that
the children learn it is something to
look forward to and not to fear
Highlight what some of the key
changes will be
The official transition day for your
area is usually at the end of June/
beginning of July for all children to
visit their new school and have an
induction day
Encouraging children to talk about
their experiences and sort out any
issues that arise by liaising with
parents/carers and the new school
Doing some role play activities about
goodbyes
Making sure that all the relevant
transfer details and forms have been
forwarded (or received) in good time
Collating/downloading any welcome
packs that are available and
distributing them to parents
Bereavement and family
separation
Where children are saying “goodbye”
due to bereavement or separation, it is
important to support the child through
their emotional journey. They are unlikely
to be prepared for a sudden death and
young children cannot easily understand
the concept of death being permanent
until they are older. Talk plainly and not in
code (i.e. don’t say things like “mummy
is sleeping”) but try to understand the
emotions the child will have and be
there for them. There is a lot of useful
information at www.childbereavementuk.
org/early-years and you can look at
NSPCC for information on helping children
through separation and divorce. There is
also a guide to how this can affect children
of different ages, here.
Resources and more
information
www.twinkl.co.uk/resources/home-earlyyears/teacher-organisation-eyfs-earlyyears/early-years-transition
www.teachearlyyears.com/a-uniquechild/view/supporting-transitions-in-theearly-years
26 August 2023 | parenta.com
parenta.com | August 2023 27