August 2023 Parenta magazine

Five tips for setting
expectations with
children
1
Be clear and consistent
Children do well when they have clearly
set expectations and structure within their
setting. It is therefore vital that the dos
and don’ts of their environment are welldefined
and easy to understand. Having
a consistent routine will help children to
know what is expected of them throughout
the day and the familiarity of a routine will
also help them to feel safe and secure.
Consistency is key. If you set a rule and
consequence, make sure that you follow
through with it every single time. Likewise,
if you say you are going to do something
positive later, make sure you follow up with
that promise too. If children know that we
honour our word, they are more likely to
take what we say seriously.
2
Make expectations age
appropriate
It is also crucial that we set ageappropriate
expectations that take into
consideration a child’s developmental
capabilities. For example, a 2-year-old
will struggle to sit still for long periods of
time, so it would be unfair to have a rule
that they need to sit on the carpet for 30
minutes during storytime. It is important
that whatever rules and expectations
we have, that we are setting children
up for success and not pushing them
beyond what they are developmentally
programmed to be able to do.
3
Remember children are
little people
It is important to remember that children
are little people with their own minds.
Sometimes our expectations can be quite
high and if the shoe was on the other foot,
we’d struggle ourselves. For example, how
would we feel if we were engrossed in a
project and someone came along, took it
from us without warning and demanded
that we went to lunch? We’d be furious
and totally frustrated! The same applies
to children. Quite often we will move them
from task to task with no warning and then
wonder why they are having a meltdown.
It’s important to treat children as we would
like to be treated. A simple fix to that
scenario would be tell them that lunch will
be in 10 minutes and to allow them time to
wrap up what they are doing. I always put
myself in my children’s shoes and ask how
I would react in the same situation. If they
answer is ‘badly’, I amend my approach.
4
Give it time
Routines and boundaries take time to
embed. Sometimes you have to work at it
for a while and give children time to adjust.
Again, consistency and repetition are key.
Children may need a few reminders and
some redirection, but in time they will get
there. Just gently guide them in the right
direction, follow through with everything
you say, have strong boundaries and the
rest will eventually fall into place.
5
Lead with love
We don’t need to be critical with our
approach. No person is going to be their
best self if they feel like they are failing. It
is therefore important that we implement
rules and expectations from a place of
love. Children will naturally fight against
change. However, ultimately, boundaries
and structure make them feel safer. If
we can assert ourselves but maintain
the message that we care deeply whilst
doing this, children will be more likely to
cooperate. It may take time to stick, but it is
important that we nurture our child-adult
bond in the process.
Stacey Kelly
Stacey Kelly is a former French and
Spanish teacher, a parent to 2 beautiful
babies and the founder of Early Years
Story Box. After becoming a mum, Stacey
left her teaching career and started
writing and illustrating storybooks to help
support her children through different
transitional stages like leaving nursery
and starting school. Seeing the positive
impact of her books on her children’s
emotional well-being led to Early Years
Story Box being born. Stacey has now
created 35 storybooks, all inspired by her
own children, to help teach different life
lessons and to prepare children for their
next steps. She has an exclusive collection
for childcare settings that are gifted on
special occasions like first/last days,
birthdays, Christmas and/or Easter and
has recently launched a new collection
for parents too. Her mission is to support
as many children as she can through
storytime and to give childcare settings an
affordable and special gifting solution that
truly makes a difference.
Email: stacey@earlyyearsstorybox.com or
Telephone: 07765785595
Website: www.earlyyearsstorybox.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/
earlyyearsstorybox
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/
eystorybox
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/
earlyyearsstorybox
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/
stacey-kelly-a84534b2/
32 August 2023 | parenta.com
parenta.com | August 2023 33