A Gray Play Book by Alasdair Gray sampler

18
JONAH
CAPTAIN [scratching his ear with the stem of his pipe] What
about what?
CUSTOMS The man not one of your crew.
CAPTAIN [promptly] No harm in him at all! A poor wee
cowardly soul who came aboard this morning bound
for Tarshish. He paid my fairly steep fare without a word
of complaint, just as if he knew how honest I am.
CUSTOMS Cowardly? Why do you say that?
CAPTAIN He admits to being terrified of storms.
CUSTOMS That could be a cover for something. Have him
up.
CAPTAIN [shouts down the hatch] Mr Mate!
The MATE’s head rises from the hatch.
MATE Sir!
CAPTAIN Send up the passenger.
MATE Aye aye sir. [he disappears]
CUSTOMS [pleasantly] You’d take the Devil as passenger if
he paid his fare, Captain MacPherson.
CAPTAIN Perhaps. Perhaps. But I’d see he behaved himself
while he was aboard my vessel.
JONAH comes up the hatch onto the deck. He is exhausted but keeps
looking up at the sky in a dazed way. He answers most questions
automatically, without thinking. CUSTOMS officer scribbles them
on his pad.
CUSTOMS Name?
JONAH Jonah, Son of Amittai.
CUSTOMS Nation?
JONAH Israel.
CUSTOMS Birth place?
JONAH Nazareth.
CUSTOMS Usual address?
JONAH Nazareth.
CUSTOMS Destination?
JONAH Tarshish.
CUSTOMS Why?
JONAH, peering upward, seems not to hear.
CUSTOMS [louder] Why are you going to Tarshish?
JONAH [still peering up] It’s not in Israel.
CUSTOMS Why don’t you like it here?
JONAH I’ve annoyed someone.
CUSTOMS The police after you?
JONAH [shocked into paying some attention] Certainly not! I
have broken ... no ... human law! Not one. Ask anyone
in Nazareth and they’ll tell you I’m completely harmless.
CUSTOMS But you’re running away because you’ve
annoyed someone who must be pretty powerful. Who is
it?
JONAH I refuse to name him. Our quarrel is a private
matter.
CUSTOMS Political?
JONAH [excitedly] Yes yes! Exactly. This ... character I knew
wanted me to take a political stance that is no business
of a quiet family man like me.
CUSTOMS [nodding] So your former friend was an agent
of the Israel and Judea independence movement?
JONAH [drearily] He’s no friend of mine now.
He looks back at the sky.
CUSTOMS [quietly to the CAPTAIN] At last we’re coming to
the point. [to JONAH] Listen carefully, old boy. We Jews
used to be a quarrelsome lot, always fighting each other,
but Israel is now a peaceful part of the mighty Assyrian
Empire. His Majesty in Nineveh requires nothing but
law, order and regularly paid taxes. Everyone can worship
their god in any way they like, short of human sacrifice.
Some fanatics hate him for that, of course, but honest
citizens have nothing to fear if they quietly inform the
authorities ... Are you listening?
JONAH [impatiently] What are you talking about?
CUSTOMS About the secret underground terrorist
organisation that has scared you shitless!
JONAH [with a cackle of hysterical laughter] Wrong wrong
wrong! I don’t give a damn for underground movements.
It’s not earthquakes I’m afraid of. [looks apprehensively
upward before appealing to the CAPTAIN] Tell him to let me
go below, I haven’t slept for forty-eight hours.
CAPTAIN [quietly to CUSTOMS] Let him go, Mr Thomson.
His trouble is all up here. [taps his head]
CUSTOMS Alright ...
JONAH descends through the hatch.
CUSTOMS ... but Captain, there’s something more than
insomnia wrong with that man. Tell my opposite number
in Tarshish that the authorities should keep an eye on
him.
CAPTAIN I will. [shouts] Tell the engineer to get his steam
up, Mr Mate!
CUSTOMS leaves by gangplank. CAPTAIN goes behind steering wheel
and grasps spokes. SOUND of bell clanging, then a faint mechanical
thumping starts.
CAPTAIN [shouting] Raise anchor! Raise anchor and cast off!
End of gangplank withdrawn. SOUND of rattling chains.