SNN_December_2023

SPINAL NETWORK NEWS 21
He has put himself back
into a scenario where
good things can happen.
—Henry Matthews
The first venture out
No one knows what that feels like more than Terry. He
can still remember the first time he went out for a coffee
at The Plaza, he was incredibly self-conscious. “It was
uncomfortable,” he says. “It was one of the hardest things
I have ever done. I felt like everyone was staring at me. I
felt so different to everyone else.”
Terry’s first venture out was during peak COVID-19 time
in New Zealand. Everyone was wearing masks, but Terry
couldn’t wear a mask because he has asthma, and it
would affect his breathing.“It was intimidating… I felt like
I was going to have a panic attack.”
But Henry was there to support him through it, and they
tried again. Now going out feels normal. He loves getting
out into nature and feeling the sea breeze on his face.
Henry is proud of his good mate. “He has put himself back
into a scenario where good things can happen; a lot of
beautiful stuff happens when you are brave. I can’t wait to
see what is next.”
Finding hope again
MAKING A DIFFERENCE—Henry Matthews says the
Peer and Whānau Support programme has made a big
impact over the past two years. Credit: Graeme Brown.
New Zealand Spinal Trust Chief Executive Hans Wouters
labelled it the most significant support for the collective
spinal cord-impaired community in New Zealand since
ACC's inception in 1974.
Henry was one of those and he began the process of
contacting wheelies in the Manawatu region. “I didn’t
want to give up on Terry. I knew that he had faced some
challenges and been out of society for a while. It’s not easy
to come back from some of those challenges.”
From that first phone call last year, the two now have a
friendship that is like a brotherhood. “He’s just an
awesome mate,” says Terry. “There have been a few times
when I have been caught short and I needed a lift to
hospital appointments or whatever…. it’s late and Henry
will drop everything to be there for me. I know that he has
always got my back.”
Henry says the investment into Peer and Whānau Support
has made a big difference to the spinal injured
community. “To know that there is a dedicated team of
people who are there fulltime to check in on people and
make sure they are doing ok. That’s a huge step—you
don’t know how much you need that connection until you
don’t have it.”
When Terry is asked what it feels like to have hope again, he
pauses for a moment. “It’s an incredible feeling now to have
that independence back,” says Terry. “I do have hope again
and it has taken me a long time to be able to say that.”
Terry’s eyes light up when he talks about getting behind
the wheel of his adapted van. “It has been a long time in
the making and I will be happy to see that arrive. Then I
will be off. It will be hard to get my head around having
that sort of independence. I have a lot of people to thank
for never giving up on me. My mum and Henry, their
support has meant everything.”
He has advice for others in the spinal cord impaired
community who are feeling lonely and isolated. “Be brave
and step outside of your comfort zone,” he says. “There is
a big wide world out there and you don’t want to miss out
on opportunities because you keep saying no and taking
the easy option. Give things a go. You don’t know where
that moment will lead. You realise life is short and you
don’t have forever.
“We are all going through the same stuff and that shared
experience is so important to feeling like you are not
alone. The help I have had from Peer Support has changed
my life, so I encourage anyone who was in a place like me
where they were struggling and couldn’t break the cycle,
reach out for help. There are good people waiting to help
and support you through that journey.”