SNN_December_2023

NEW ZEALAND SPINAL TRUST 4
I have met some
amazing people in
these past eight years.
—Peter Thornton
As I reflect on my 10 years of marriage, and almost eight
years of being a Dad, I am appreciative (again) of what
my parents have done for me. It’s a debt I will never be
able to repay.
Throughout this period, I have also been the editor of this
great magazine, the Spinal Network News. I still love this
role as much today as the day I started when we put our
first magazine to bed. It’s a publication that has the power
to change lives. The best thing about this role is always
the people I meet. I love connecting with people and every
time someone welcomes me into their home for a cuppa
and a yarn about their story, that is a privilege I never take
for granted.
I have met some amazing people in these past eight years
who have in their own right been selfless in sharing their
story. They have decided to put themselves out there, in
the spotlight, to help others. That always amazes me. But
the biggest praise in this magazine I reserve for those in
the background.
We believe that when a person sustains a spinal cord
impairment it is a life changing moment for the person but
also their whānau, their friends, their work colleagues, the
team-mates, and in some cases the community around
them. It is a challenging road on so many levels. We believe
that there are approximately 5,000 New Zealanders living
with spinal cord impairments.
Around 220 people sustain a permanent spinal cord
impairment in New Zealand every year and
approximately two thirds of these are accidents and one
third are health-related. Of course, for the person who has
the spinal cord impairment, the sudden change of reality
in many cases is a hard one to get their head around.
They go from living a full life, doing all of the things they
love, to a scary and unfamiliar reality in the Spinal Unit.
The process of accepting and moving forward takes time.
But the family and partners are grieving too. All of the
hopes, dreams and ambitions that their family member
had, their whānau and partner shared them too. It’s not
easy but they need to be upbeat, positive and encouraging
at a time when their heart may be broken and they are
fearful about the future.
Peer and Whānau Support is not just about supporting an
individual who has sustained a spinal cord impairment. It
is supporting everyone who has been directly affected by
that incident.
As Mark Glentworth—the father of Jayden Glentworth
who broke his back at the age of 15 in a mountain-biking
crash—says: my main advice is to accept the help that is
NOW AND THEN—10 years of marriage with Katie has
seen a lot of change. We have learnt how to be selfless.
on offer. “You can’t do this on your own,” he says. “It’s an
injury that is so far-reaching, it affects everything. It
affects everything from your emotions to practical things
like house modifications. You have just to accept the
advice and the help that is available.”
I encourage you if you are caring for a person with a
spinal cord impairment and you feel alone, reach out.
There are many others going through exactly what you
are, and as they say a problem shared is a problem halved.
Supporting whānau and the people we love is just what we
do. But there are many moments when it’s not easy. There
are countless hours when you put your person first. An
unlimited amount of sacrifice that you never gave a
second thought. Their siblings or the rest of your family
you need to consider, and think about their needs.
Many parents have told me that one of the hardest things
in this situation is the letting go. Your first instinct as a
parent is that you want to be there 24/7, and support them
through everything that comes their way. But the person
also has to find their own confidence and acceptance with
their situation. They need to find their own approach,
attitude and future in their new life. The support crew
seldom get the thanks or credit they deserve, and they
seldom do it for that gratitude.
So, if you are out there living with a spinal cord
impairment, stop for a moment to say thanks to the people
around you who help you every day live the life you lead.
We have some amazing people in our community who
treat their team with huge respect and humility.
If you are out there and have committed your life to
supporting a loved one, thanks. Thanks for being the rock
that so many people in your life lean on. Thanks for
showing your family and friends a relentless example that
you don’t give up in life, and there is always hope. Thanks
for being positive and patient, and just being there in the
good times and the bad. Thanks for being a good human
being. Thanks for helping your people find a new life that
is full of laughter and happiness.