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The Column<br />
By Chuck Van Riper<br />
Obsolescence<br />
Have you ever watched the History Channel or something<br />
similar, where archeologists uncover an artifact<br />
dating back hundreds or thousands of years, and they are<br />
baffled by what the artifact actually is? What was its use<br />
at the time? How did it come to be? They sometimes researched<br />
and speculated for years with no results, only<br />
to find some inscription or writing explaining that it was<br />
something as mundane as a hair clip or a comb. I ponder,<br />
in maybe a few hundred years, what artifacts from today<br />
will be so elusive when found. There must be some bewildering<br />
items that would prompt a “What the HECK<br />
is that? What the heck IS that? What the heck is THAT?”<br />
This is assuming, of course, that “What the heck” is still a<br />
part of modern vernacular. Well, here are a few things that<br />
might fit that category.<br />
Floppy Disks: Even today, if anyone younger than<br />
30 found one of the old 5 ½ inch floppies, that would elicit<br />
a “What the heck IS that?” After all, even now, they might<br />
guess that it had something to do with a computer, but<br />
there’s no way to really check it out because the technology<br />
no longer exists to see what’s on the disk. In a few<br />
hundred years down the road, computer technology is so<br />
advanced that even the latest and greatest technology of<br />
today will seem archaic. How could they possibly figure<br />
out what this thing actually is? Maybe a coaster? Maybe<br />
something went in the hole in the center that would complete<br />
it? Let’s look for that… for another hundred years or<br />
so.<br />
Door Stoppers: You know, those springy things with<br />
a rubber cap on the end that keep a door from hitting the<br />
wall. When we were kids, they were fun to play with just<br />
to hear the sproing, sproing sound. Well, in the future, I<br />
think doors will be sliding automatically, like the doors on<br />
the Enterprise when Captain Kirk walks in. (I hope they<br />
make that swishing sound!). So, imagine finding one of<br />
these things all by itself in some archeological dig. After<br />
years of research, how disappointing will it be to discover<br />
its actual purpose?<br />
Televisions: In the future, visual entertainment will<br />
consist of holographic images displayed in front of you<br />
and be interactive. No need for a screen, remote, or di-<br />
14 - Brevard Live February 2024
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