International Journal of Choice Theory® and Reality ... - CTRTJournal

shoots through our body is a signal that ―ouch, this hurts. I may need medical attention. At
the very least, I need to pay attention to how this happened so I don‘t feel this pain again.‖
We can get those same bodily signals about our unmet psychological needs and wants. We
can even veer off the road of effective choice making and onto the road of less effective or
even harmful behaviors. Signals related to physical pain take less time to access than the
more subtle and elusive signals that warn us that we might be traveling on an ineffective
psychological pathway regarding the meaning and purpose of our lives. Even when we are
aware of our less effective choices we often see them as problems to be solved through
thinking and action.
For many human beings tuning in and listening to our bodily signals and allowing them to
evolve means living in a new way. It allows us to more explicitly incorporate into our
awareness feelings, sensations, images, and words and letting them evolve and change.
For our total behavior car to run smoothly as a total system, we need to think and act. We
also need to feel our feelings and pay attention to our physiology.
The felt sense includes all pictures, sensations, feelings and words that we are experiencing
in the here-and-now, a complex process often difficult to put into words. Within these
sensations (the felt sense) is the forward energy to resolve the block itself. Not only does
the body know what isn‘t right, if we can make contact with the felt sense, get to know it
and befriend it, it can serve as a guide pointing the way toward a more positive destination
and more effective need satisfaction.
An Example of Extending Reality Therapy with Focusing
Ann Weiser Cornell (1996, 2005), an early student of Gendlin and the first person to teach
focusing full-time, teaches focusing as a four step process, while emphasizing that there is
an essence to focusing that is beyond steps. Here is an example of Weiser Cornell (2005)
using focusing to quickly and efficiently help her client get unblocked from feelings of
sadness (pp. 91-92):
Cl = Client Th = Therapist
Cl: I‘ve been walking around feeling disappointed all week.
Th: M-hm. Disappointed.
Cl: I like telling people I‘m disappointed better than telling them I‘m depressed. My son has
a much easier time with the word ―disappointed.‖
Th: I wonder if you are feeling disappointed or depressed right now?
Cl: Yes I am actually.
Th: And you can sense maybe where in your body you‘re feeling that disappointed?
Cl: Well…it‘s mostly in my heart.
Th: Ah, yes, you‘re sensing it in your heart. You might just check if the word ―disappointed‖
is still the best word for how its feeling in your heart right now.
International Journal of Choice Theory and Reality Therapy • Fall 2011 • Vol. XXXI, number 1 • 26