International Journal of Choice Theory® and Reality ... - CTRTJournal

much it is, we‘re likely to say we‘re happy‖ (p. 39). Why don‘t all these extra gadgets and
comforts make us significantly happier? Perhaps it‘s because our behaviors and thoughts
directly impact our feelings and physiology.
What choices do appear to significantly impact your level of happiness? It is likely that some
of our most satisfying experiences entail interacting with those whom we respect and
admire. In an optimal environment, we seem to naturally want to make choices that
enhance our sense of significance and feelings of self-worth. We also seem to have a need
for freedom to be in control of our lives and to make choices without coercion, threats or
bribery from others or the external world. We have a need for fun and enjoyment.
Throughout life we have a need to experience enjoyable leisure pursuits.
Pursuing a good life necessitates not only having an understanding of these needs, but also
creating an optimal vision and plan for satisfying these needs on a daily basis. The best way
to experience feelings of pleasure, joy and sustained happiness is to ensure that our
behaviors and thoughts are linked to our vision for an optimal future.
Love and Belonging: Developing the Strength of Character to Enrich Your
Relationships
We, too, often minimize the importance of ordinary people who consistently try to do the
right thing even when there is a cost. Everyday heroes earn trust by not talking behind
someone‘s back, following through on commitments, telling the truth, having a high level of
integrity, and being loyal in good times and bad. Our character is strengthened by being
respectful. The essence of respect is to treat others as social equals and have positive
regard for the dignity of all people, including one self. Another trait associated with people
interested in processing great character is responsibility. That is, being morally accountable
for choices and their impact on others. In addition, of course, there is a profound need for
love and caring. We simply must seize opportunities to bring out the best in others,
including ourselves.
Possessing strong character has a least four primary sources. First of all, good character
comes from practicing personal discipline in our choices. Secondly, good character comes
from monitoring our thoughts, ideals and values. Thirdly, good character comes from having
courage. Finally, good character is developed with determination. The issue of character will
never go away as long as people interact with each other.
Our interpersonal relationships are enriched when we truly care about another person‘s
perspective and communicate in a manner that reflects a sense of caring, respect and
empathy that often promotes excellent communication skills.
Intimate, life-ling relationships based on mutual respect, integrity, and love are one of the
strongest predictors of happiness (Meyers, 2000). Research indicates that healthy
relationships and especially, enriched marriages promote well-being. In fact, happily
married men and women tend to be healthier and live longer. Keeping the love alive in your
relationship, however, can be challenging as a result of a lack of awareness, understanding,
and inter-personal skill development.
Love entails a deep admiration and fondness for your significant other. Regarding a healthy
marriage, two character traits found to be core principles are respect and empathy. Loving
relationships are not complicated but necessitate intentionally bringing out the best in other
even if sometimes they may not seem like they deserve it. This is especially true when it
International Journal of Choice Theory and Reality Therapy • Fall 2011 • Vol. XXXI, number 1 • 32