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MLA Club Members
Birthdays-Anniversaries
Heidi Raeder, Tel: 613.283.7634
eMail: wraeder@cogeco.ca
(B) Denotes Birthday, (A) = Anniversary
and (33) the year example 1933
November:
03 (B) – Anneliese Rosenberg
06 (B) – Ernst Wallisch (35)
07 (B) – Reinhard Bauer (60)
10 (B) – Annemarie Wallisch (39)
10 (B) – Christopher Profus (52)
11 (A) – Monika and Chris Profus (78)
16 (B) – Heidi Rausch (69)
16 (B) – Karl Schroeder
16 (B) – Marianne Kubicek (41)
30 (B) – Heidelore Raeder (52)
December:
01 (A) – Claudette & Werner Bachhuber (62)
02 (B) – Barry Exner (52)
06 (B) – Chris Roth (62)
07 (A) – Ricarda & Otto Thierfeldt (57)
11 (B) – Michael Bremer (40)
11 (B) – John Willems (35)
12 (B) – Wei Hoefler
16 (B) – Sonya Abraham
19 (B) – Donna Buer (45)
21 (B) – Gertrude Zauner (28)
21 (A) – Helena & Victor Archer
24 (B) – Cam Kissner (30)
26 (B) – Helmut Kubicek
26 (B) – Stephen Volkmer (57)
27 (B) – Paul St. Jean
30 (A) – Yvonne & Tak Terada (61)
January:
01 (B) – Helmut Krekeler
05 (B) – Robert Philip (51)
07 (B) – Hermann Zauner (27)
11 (B) – Elfie Ridder (38)
11 (B) – Mark Jerabek
16 (A) – Renate & Mike Grebler (60)
17 (B) – Brenda Nairne (68)
18 (B) – Lothar Lehmann (34)
21 (B) – Karl Dunker (36)
22 (B) – Scarlet Russell
27 (B) – Liesel Mendroch (30)
27 (B) – Max Bork
29 (B) – Eleanor Ansari
February:
02 (A) – Anneliese & Hartmut Rosenberg (80)
05 (B) – Inge Volkmer (36)
06 (B) – Willie Holst (36)
07 (A) – Lois & Frank Soural
10 (B) – Gertrude Stutz
12 (B) – Manfred Lauton
15 (A) – Mary & John Willems (58)
17 (B) – John Schlarb (24)
18 (A) – Terry & Albert Bruder (83)
24 (B) – Heinz Ende (32)
25 (B) – Paul Strittmatter (32)
26 (B) – Monika & Willi Holst (60)
27 (B) – Roy Enfield (33)
28 (B) – Anneliesel Bednaruk (23)
28 (A) – Karen & Paul Slominski
March:
02 (B) – Ellen Philip (51)
03 (B) – Lynn Volkmer (55)
04 (B) – Helena Archer
10 (B) – Ricarda Thierfeldt (36)
11 (B) – Helga Freiberg (43)
12 (B) – Martin Pandel (63)
13 (B) – Ingeborg Henn
13 (A) – Gertraud & Hermann Zauner (50)
14 (B) – Hartmut Rosenberg (39)
16 (B) – Markus Rumke (78)
17 (B) – Walter Henn (39)
17 (B) – Christa Rosinski (39)
17 (B) – Antje Enfield (37)
18 (B) – Erika Herr
19 (B) – Erech Morrison (40)
20 (B) – Amanda Volker (89)
20 (B) – Maria Lenhart
23 (B) – Regina Sardana
25 (B) – Alexandra Doak
27 (B) – Jan Stops (70)
29 (B) – Heinz Buer (41)
� A Little Humour �
Hotel bill: from Sue Brewer
An elderly couple is travelling by car from Victoria to Prince
George . Being Seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road,
they were too tired to continue, and decided to take a room. But
they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on
the road. When they checked out four hours later, the desk clerk
handed them a bill for $350.00.
The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so
high. He told the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms
certainly aren't worth 350.00 for four hours. Then the clerk tells
him that $350.00 is the 'standard rate'. He insisted on speaking
to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to him, and then explains that the
hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre
that were available for them to use. "But we didn't use them," the
husband said. ''Well, they are here, and you could have,"
explained the Manager.
The Manager went on to explain that the couple could also have
taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "We
have the best entertainers from New York , Hollywood , and Las
Vegas performing here," the Manager says.
"But we didn't go to any of those shows," the husband said.
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, the husband
replied, "But we didn't use it!"
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the husband gave up
and agreed to pay. As he didn't have the check book he asked
his wife to write the check.
She did and gave it to the Manager.
The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But
ma'am, this is only made out for $50.00."
''That's correct. I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with me," she
replied.
"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.
"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."
Don't mess with senior citizens. They didn't get there by being
stupid!
Doctor’s Advice: From Louise Morrow
A Doctor on TV said to have inner peace we should always finish
things we start and we all could use more calm in our lives.
I looked around my house to find things I'd started & hadn't
finished, so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of
Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of
Valiuminun prscriptuns, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how
fablus I feel rite now!
The Perfect Husband: from Marta Kovar
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular
phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free
speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room
stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm at the store now and I found this beautiful leather
coat. It's only $2,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the
new models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. I was just talking to
Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on
the market. They're asking $980,000 for it."
MAN: "Then make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take
it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you
really want."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men
in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths
wide open. He turns and asks,
"Anyone know whose phone this is?"
6 The HBH News Oct / Nov / Dec / 2011
Heart Attack: from Marta Kovar
A man suffered a serious heart
attack while shopping in a store.
The store clerks called 911 when
they saw him collapse to the floor.
The paramedics rushed the man to
the nearest hospital where he had
emergency open heart bypass
surgery.
He awakened from the surgery to
find himself in the care of nuns at
the Catholic Hospital he was taken
to. A nun was seated next to his
bed holding a clip board loaded
with several forms, and a pen. She
asked him how he was going to
pay for his treatment.
"Do you have health insurance?"
she asked
He replied in a raspy voice, "No
health insurance."
The nun asked, "Do you have
money in the bank?"
He replied, "No money in the
bank."
"Do you have a relative who could
help you with the payments?"
asked the irritated nun.
He said, "I only have a spinster
sister, and she is a nun."
The nun became agitated and
announced loudly, "Nuns are not
spinsters! Nuns are married to
God."
The patient replied,"Perfect. Send
the bill to my brother-in-law."
Helpful Hints For Winter!
from Mady Michaelis
Keep your headlights clear with
car wax! Just wipe ordinary car wax
on your headlights. It contains
special water repellents that will
prevent that messy mixture from
accumulating on your lights - lasts
6 weeks.
Squeak-proof your wipers with
rubbing alcohol! Wipe the wipers
with a cloth saturated with rubbing
alcohol or ammonia. This one trick
can make badly streaking &
squeaking wipers change to near
perfect silence & clarity.
Ice-proof your windows with
vinegar! Frost on it's way? Just fill
a spray bottle with three parts
vinegar to one part water and spray
it on all your windows at night. In
the morning, they'll be clear of icy
mess. Vinegar contains acetic acid,
which raises the melting point of
water---preventing water from
freezing!
Prevent car doors from freezing
shut with cooking spray! Spray
cooking oil on the rubber seals
around car doors & rub it in with a
paper towel. The cooking spray
prevents water from melting into
the rubber
Fog-proof your windshield with
shaving cream! Spray some
shaving cream on the inside of
your windshield & wipe if off with
paper towels. Shaving cream has
many of the same ingredients
found in commercial defoggers.
De-ice your lock in seconds with
hand sanitiser! Just put some hand
sanitiser gel on the key & the lock
& the problems is solved!