Special Award Winners - Midwestern Council of Sports Car Clubs

I was soon on my way with the new phone, and a more expensive calling plan that included “free”
minutes every month that rolled over. While toying with the phone, some button was accidentally
pushed, and the thing started to vibrate. I dropped it on the car floor thinking I was getting an electrical
shock — but can now understand and appreciate why this feature would get your full attention while
stuck in the pocket of your jeans when a call comes in.
When folded up and tucked into its vinyl case, it was no bigger than a medium-sized muffin and likely of
no use whatsoever as a weapon of self defense like the other one because I am pretty sure waving
around what could be a muffin of some sort wrapped in vinyl and shouting a lot is not going to scare
very many people unless they have an unnatural fear of baked goods and upholstery.
Out of curiosity, I went to the post office and used their mail scale to weigh the phone. That little wonder
of technology which can allow a person to speak to virtually any place on the planet came in under 3
ounces. The instruction manual, however, weighed more than 7 ounces. Granted half of the book was
in a foreign language, which explains why there are so many people speaking some lingo into a cell
phone that a lot us can’t understand. Obviously and mistakenly, they opened the wrong side of the
instruction book and now have to phone-talk the language in which they learned how to use it.
This particular dip into the then-modern technology was rather short lived however. I thought it would
be a good idea to use the cell more and save a few bucks on the land line. Problem is the wonder of
communication that would allow me to speak to someone in Zimbabwe, if I knew anyone in Zimbabwe,
is virtually worthless in the particular cell area where I live.
Turns out I am in a “dead zone” that is not very well covered by my provider’s cell towers. I contacted
their main office using my home phone, the one with the big round dial, and told them it was my thought
that I could better contact people and have a clearer conversation if I climbed one of their towers and
just shouted. The nice lady in customer service said this was not uncommon and a lot of their
customers indeed did just that, but there was an additional service charge involved.
I wondered if I could even call my land line phone sitting next to me at home and whine to myself about
my cell phone situation. Imagine my surprise when the display on my new cell phone announced that I
was unavailable.
My first thought was that I had probably just taken the phone off the hook, so I wouldn’t have to listen
to myself whine, but then reality set in. The whole system was worthless unless I traveled out of my
weak cell area to make a call, and I did not see any allowances for travel credit or mileage in the
contract.
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