The Beadmakers Songbook - Nordmark

Bastard king of England, The
The minstrels sing, Of an English King
Of many long years ago,
who ruled that land, With an iron hand
Though his morals were weak and low.
His only outer garment was a dirty yellow shirt
With which he tried
To hide his hide,
But he could not hide the dirt.
He was dirty and filthy and full of fleas
But he had his women by twos and threes;
God bless the bastard king of Engaland.
Now the Queen of Spain was an amorous Jane;
A lascivious wench was she,
She longed to fool with the royal tool
of the king across the sea.
So she sent a royal message with a royal messenger
To ask the king of Engaland
to fornicate with her.
He was dirty and filthy and full of fleas
But a terrible tool hung down to his knees;
God bless the bastard king of Engaland
When Phillip of France, heard this by chance
He raced before his court,
“The Queen prefers my rival
cause my instruments to short.”
So he sent the Count of Zippity-Zap
To slip the Queen a dose of the clap
To pass along to the royal dong
of the King of Engaland.
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