LADIES' AMULET. - Monroe County Library System

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An Orator in the Irish House of Commons was
describing the inordinate love of praise which
characterized an opponent. " The honorable
member," said he, " is so fond of being praised
that I really believe he would be content to give
up the Ghost, if it were but to look up and read
the stone cutter's puff upon his grave."
" Why is the letter D like a ring ?" said B
young lady to her accepted one day. The gentleman,
like the generality of his sex in such a situation,
Was as dull as a hammer. " Because," added
the lady, with a very modest look at the pictare
at the other end of the room, " because WE
can't be WED without it.
A woman called on Dr. B. one day, in a great
peal of trouble, and complained that her son had
swallowed a penny. "Pray, madam," said the
doctor, "was it a counterfeit?" "No, sir, cerlainlyjnot,"
was the reply. « Then it will pass,
of course," was the facetious reply of the doctor.
*A gentleman riding through the town of
one day, met an awkward fellow leading a hog,
whom he accosted in the following manner:—
"How odd it looks to see one hog lead-another!"
"Yes," replied the chap, " but not so odd as it
does to see a hog ride on horseback!"
, He that sinks to a familiarity with persons much
below his own level, will be constantly weighed
down by his base connections: and though he may
easily plunge still lower, he will find it almost impossible
ever to rise again.
Gardners know that plants can be bro't up on
water, air and light, without earth, and they will
flower but bear no fruit. So it is with girls in
whose education there is no proportion of solid
matter.
No one, says Jerome, loves to tell a tale of
scandal except to him who loves to hear it. Learn
then, to rebuke and check the detracting tongue,
by snowing that you do not listen to it with pleasure.
A theatrical manager once apologized for the
absence of a favorite actor on aceount of " sudden
indisposition." " Gradual indisposition, you
mean," bawled out a fellow from the pit, " I saw
ijim two minutes ago getting drunk at the piaza."
A tailor presented his account to a gentleman
for settlement. "I'll look over your bill, 1 ' said
the gentleman. "Very good," said the tailor,
" but pray don't overlook it."
Turn a deaf ear to the backbiter; if thou receivest
not his words, they fly back and wound
the reporter; if thou receive them, they forward
and wound the receiver.
There is a time when we may say nothing; and
a time when we may say something; but there
never will [be a time when we should say all
things.
Men lose many excellent things, not because
they want power to obtain them, but spirit and
resolution to undertake them.
IMPROVED TELEGRAPH.—Place a succession of
gossips, male and female, half a mile apart and
communicate to the first a secret.
A BOILER BUSS'D.—Married, in Bobolinkin
Hollow, Iowa Territory, Mr. John Buss to Miss
Ann Boiler.
Luxuries and ornaments should not be considered
necessaries, extravagance the basis of respect
nor idleness happiness.
You are " sharp set," as Joe said to the man at
dinner, who, for the want of a chair, was 6eatcd
on the edge of a shingle.
"Drop a line if you wish to see me," as the
fish said to the angler.
|< I trample genius under my feet," as the louse
•aid when he got atop of the poet's head.
Why is an Irishman turning over in the snow
like a watchman ? Because he is jiat-rolling.
The spirit of hartshorn affords an instant cure
for the sting of a wasp.
Sense and beauty, like truth and novelty, are
jarely combined. *
It is with our judgment as with our watches,
none go just alike, yet each believes his own.
Few are so wise as to prefer useful reproof to
treacherous praise.
Prosperity procures friends; but adversity tries
them. '
Every dew-drop and rainbow hath a htattn in it.
Central Library of Rochester and Monroe County · Historic Serials Collection
THE GEM AND LADIES' AMULET.