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Stuff<br />
Your natural study guide<br />
It is that time again, time to cleanse the mental colon,<br />
detoxify the mental filing cabinet, release the brain<br />
strain with a mental enema so that exams can be<br />
approached with the floating lightness of a cerebral<br />
circus performer. Follow this plan TO THE LETTER for<br />
the best exam results… REMEMBER! If you do not<br />
commit wholeheartedly to the following preparations,<br />
their result cannot be guaranteed!<br />
7AM : Rise and greet the sun with you chakra fully opened and open the doors to your mental potential by chanting the<br />
following mantra : “I am a beautiful butterfly, whose mind can float among the flowers of knowledge, my wings are thoughts,<br />
my future is sweet”.<br />
Perform Butterfly Interperative Dance Routine. (Routine available on DVD at Mindovermatter.com.au)<br />
7:30 AM Cleanse the teeth with extract of Einstein (RRP $129 per 25gm, available at Mindovermatter.com.au)<br />
7:35 AM Break your fast with some mental fibre: Read 10 pages from “1000 ways to use time effectively” (RRP $59.99 from<br />
Mindovermatter.com.au)<br />
8:30 AM Ask yourself, “Are my notes arranged according to the Fung Shui of the Study room?”<br />
This is vitally important!!! If notes are misaligned, then the dragon of unhappiness will roost in your hippocampus and throw flame to<br />
your temporal lobes!<br />
For a complete guide to Study Room Fung Shui, consult a specialist. These are available at $200 per hour, and can be booked<br />
at Mindovermatter.com.au<br />
NOTE: Numerous scientific studies have shown that Study Fung Shui must be daily aligned to the stars,<br />
breeze and movements of your dog’s colon. These necessitate daily modifications to your basic setup.<br />
12:30 PM Pause for lunch. Avoid all foods containing carbohydrates, fats or proteins. These will clog up your mental processes<br />
and prevent your mental mastication of medical minutiae. Try “Complete Cerebal Consumable”, a fabulous fluid meal<br />
replacement that tastes like happiness with a hint of lemon. (Available at $15 per sachet from Mindovermatter.com.au)<br />
1:00 PM Limber up your lobes by Osmotic Learning. This wonderful new study technique relies on recognition that all in the<br />
universe is one, ergo you are one with your books, notes, and lectures online.<br />
1. Arrange your books into a circle on the floor, placing each subject matter at a specific nodes of the earth’s energy.<br />
Turn on your computer and open to the file which has your notes and lectures, but DO NOT OPEN A SPECIFIC FILE!<br />
2. Now sit in the nexus and meditate, allowing the vibe of medicine to ooze into you consciousness.<br />
3. Chant the following mantra for extra assistance, “Public health, Pharmacology, Pathology, Microbiology, Clinical<br />
Skills, BCS – My mind is a haven for your knowledge.”<br />
Be sure to chant this using the centuries old, “Wongszieman”<br />
technique, originally invented by Emperor “Nho Crue” from the<br />
island of “Ghullibilia” in central Russia. This technique is hard to<br />
master, but coaching is available online at Mindovermatter.<br />
Com.au ($80 per 15 minute session).<br />
6:00 PM Your work is almost done! Now it is time to relax by<br />
again opening your Chakra, dancing the sun down and stoking<br />
the metabolic fire with another nourishing “Complete Cerebral<br />
Consumable”.<br />
Well done!<br />
Follow this routine daily until exams, and I will personally<br />
guarantee that your results will amaze you!<br />
Dr Waigongwong Schz, MDD, ARDS, ADHD.<br />
Mind Over Matter Univeristy, Ghullibilia.
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