INfusion 47 ebook - Summer 2012 - NMIT
INfusion 47 ebook - Summer 2012 - NMIT
INfusion 47 ebook - Summer 2012 - NMIT
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Contributors:<br />
Cassandra Andreucci<br />
Gabrielle Balatinacz<br />
Veronica Bauer<br />
Anne Bowman<br />
Rattanbir Dhariwal<br />
Isabelle Dupré<br />
Simon Exley<br />
Jodie Garth<br />
Samuel Gillard<br />
Danielle Gori<br />
William Hallett<br />
S.L. Higgins<br />
Aaron Hughes<br />
Norman Jensen<br />
Helen Krionas<br />
Maria Leopoldo<br />
Bronwyn Lovell<br />
Myron Lysenko<br />
Annerliegh Grace McCall<br />
Emma McVinish<br />
Jessica Morris<br />
Tom O’Connell<br />
Bernard O’Connor<br />
Sonia Sanjiven<br />
Warwick Sprawson<br />
Tony Stark<br />
Mary Stephenson<br />
Heather Troy<br />
J. Richard Wrigley<br />
2<br />
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong><br />
<strong>Summer</strong> <strong>2012</strong><br />
<strong>NMIT</strong><br />
Professional Writing & Editing<br />
Collingwood<br />
Victoria, Australia
<strong>INfusion</strong> is produced as part of the <strong>NMIT</strong> Professional Writing & Editing course<br />
by the Publishing Studio class, co-ordinated by Edwina Preston.<br />
<strong>INfusion</strong> Issue <strong>47</strong>, <strong>2012</strong><br />
Project Co-ordinator: Edwina Preston<br />
Editing Team: Tom O’Connell, Aaron Hughes, Helen Krionas, Shevon Higgins,<br />
Tom Donlon, Jess Morris, Isabelle Dupré<br />
Design Team: Bernard O’Connor, Adam Mackay, Norman Jensen, Caitlin Rose<br />
Management Team: Jodie Garth, Sam Gillard, Veronica Bauer, Tony Stark<br />
Proofread by Aaron Hughes and Jodie Garth<br />
Original cover photographed by Norman Jensen and designed by Bernard<br />
O’Connor<br />
eBook version prepared by Edwina Preston, Helen Krionas and Aaron Hughes,<br />
December <strong>2012</strong>, following print run.<br />
<strong>INfusion</strong> Issue <strong>47</strong><br />
Published by <strong>NMIT</strong> Professional Writing & Editing<br />
Collingwood Campus<br />
20 Otter Street, Collingwood, Victoria 3070<br />
(03) 9269 1881<br />
http://www.nmit.edu.au/courses/diploma_of_professional_writing_and_editing<br />
Submissions to <strong>INfusion</strong> should be emailed as Word attachments to:<br />
nmit_infusion@hotmail.com<br />
Further information: edwinampreston@hotmail.com<br />
This is an adult-content publication. It may contain content and language that<br />
address social taboos such as death, sex, and violence. Views expressed in <strong>INfusion</strong><br />
do not necessarily reflect the views of the editors, or <strong>NMIT</strong>. For all the work and<br />
care that goes into producing a magazine, mistakes do occur. Please notify the editors<br />
of any significant errors, so we can rectify the problem in future issues.<br />
Copyright in each contribution remains with the individual author.<br />
ISSN 1836-8832<br />
5<br />
Contents<br />
Editorial — Tom O’Connell & Edwina Preston 7<br />
Windmill Books — Warwick Sprawson 10<br />
Won’t Stop (pic) — Aaron Hughes 21<br />
When My Brother Tore the Pages from My Book — Simon Exley 22<br />
Cul-de-sac Books (pic) — Bernard O’Connor 23<br />
Communication with Aussies — Veronica Bauer 24<br />
Home (pic) — Aaron Hughes 26<br />
Jordan — S.L. Higgins 27<br />
Dusseldorf Trees (pic) — S.L. Higgins 29<br />
Behind Closed Doors — Mary Stephenson 30<br />
I Met a Wizard Online (pic) — Emma McVinish 33<br />
The Butcher — Jodie Garth 34<br />
Bast (pic) — Anne Bowman 35<br />
Sarcoma — Myron Lysenko 36<br />
Hole in the Sky (pic) — Veronica Bauer 38<br />
The Shy Observer — Tony Stark 39<br />
Hold Still (pic) — Emma McVinish 40<br />
After the Rain — Anne Bowman 41<br />
Alice — Annerliegh Grace McCall 43<br />
Be Free (pic) — Aaron Hughes 45<br />
Leaving the Devil — Aaron Hughes 46<br />
E Garmisch München (pic) — S.L. Higgins 50<br />
Changing Places at the Table Doesn’t Fool the Cards — Emma McVinish 51<br />
The Bell Jar (pic) — Emma McVinish 53<br />
Sacrifice — Jessica Morris 54<br />
Urban Luminescence (pic) — William Hallett 56<br />
Caeli Mori (Prologue) — Tom O’Connell 57<br />
Dogtags (pic) — Bernard O’Connor 66<br />
Happy Superman — Gabrielle Balatinacz 67<br />
High Notes (pic) — Veronica Bauer 68<br />
Hypatia of Alexandria — Norman Jensen 69<br />
Rhine Valley Castle (pic) — S.L. Higgins 70<br />
For the Price of a Dead Dog — Norman Jensen 71<br />
And They Shall Weep (pic) — Anne Bowman 72<br />
One, Four, Three — Aaron Hughes 73<br />
Short-Lived (pic) — Veronica Bauer 76<br />
Boxing Day — Rattanbir Dhariwal 77<br />
Dresden Palace (pic) — Bernard O’Connor 79<br />
Orpheus and Eurydice — S.L. Higgins 80<br />
Leaf it Alone — Jodie Garth 84<br />
With 5% Juice (pic) — Emma McVinish 89
Contents<br />
Phylogeny — Bronwyn Lovell 90<br />
Last Peek (pic) — Emma McVinish 91<br />
Mending — Bronwyn Lovell 92<br />
Stroke — Helen Krionas 93<br />
Morning Smoko (pic) —Veronica Bauer 101<br />
Queering the Western: Brokeback Mountain — Heather Troy 102<br />
Oscar (pic) — Bernard O’Connor 109<br />
Dick Lit. — Veronica Bauer 110<br />
The Land of Defeat — William Hallett 113<br />
Pussycat Northcote (pic) — Norman Jensen 115<br />
Every Time I Close My Eyes — Simon Exley 116<br />
Lost on Another Planet (pic) — Bernard O’Connor 117<br />
I Call My Dog Sugar — Sonia Sanjiven 118<br />
Innocent Infliction — Isabelle Dupré 120<br />
Fluorescent Lights — Isabelle Dupré 121<br />
Isolation — Samuel Gillard 122<br />
How to Make Love Stay — Emma McVinish 129<br />
E.M. (pic) — Tom O’Connell 130<br />
The Chemo Room — Maria Leopoldo 131<br />
The Matador and the Bull — Tom O’Connell 132<br />
A Sunday Morning in 2040 — J. Richard Wrigley 133<br />
Hello Kitty (pic) — Aaron Hughes 137<br />
Up the Garden Path — Jodie Garth 138<br />
Dusseldorf Lake (pic) — S.L. Higgins 140<br />
Misandry — S.L. Higgins 141<br />
The Blind Toymaker — Anne Bowman 144<br />
Destruction — Cassandra Andreucci 145<br />
Akosombo Quartet (pic) — William Hallett 148<br />
Aftermath (pic) — Bernard O’Connor 150<br />
Flooded (pic) — Veronica Bauer 151<br />
Recipe — Bronwyn Lovell 152<br />
Grandpa — Rattanbir Dhariwal 153<br />
Awesome and Euridium — Tony Stark 155<br />
Rock Angel (pic) — Bernard O’Connor 158<br />
In Trouble — Mary Stephenson 159<br />
Luneberg (pic) — S.L. Higgins 164<br />
The Beach — Danielle Gori 165<br />
Sing it Again — Veronica Bauer 167<br />
Bukowski (pic) — Bernard O’Connor 170<br />
Shakespeare and Co. (pic) — Bernard O’Connor 171<br />
Biofictography — Warwick Sprawson 172<br />
Author bios 174<br />
6<br />
Is this thing on? Good.<br />
Hey! Hi! Hello there!<br />
7<br />
<strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
Editorial<br />
First things first: a hearty welcome to <strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong>! What you’re holding<br />
in your hot little hands is a real labour of love — from the students of <strong>NMIT</strong>’s<br />
Professional Writing and Editing course, to you, the world.<br />
This is an exciting issue for our humble publication. Not only do we feel<br />
that this is some of the strongest and most varied work we’ve put out, but<br />
we’ve also gone and made some big changes! If you’ll allow me to talk shop a<br />
moment, I’d like to run you through a few of them.<br />
(It could get hyperbolical in here. You have been warned.)<br />
The biggest change for this issue would have to be the long overdue transition<br />
into e-publication. You’ve heard of e-books, right? Of course you have!<br />
You’re down. You’re hip. (I like your leather jacket and bootcut jeans. Very<br />
fetching.)<br />
Well, while the rest of the publishing industry embraced — and continues<br />
to embrace — digitisation, we’ve been — like nervous parents on the<br />
sideline — waiting in the wings, quietly assessing the situation.<br />
So, this issue, I’m told, will be broadcast on the official <strong>NMIT</strong> website for<br />
the world — and prospective future students — to see. (If you’re a prospective<br />
future student reading this, I wholeheartedly encourage you to enrol. Personal<br />
note: do try to get through this one scrappy editorial without exposing your<br />
sinister personal agendas.)<br />
In all seriousness, though, what the e-book format does is allow us to<br />
showcase our work to friends, families and professional contacts anywhere in<br />
the world. Distribution is no longer limited to our initial print run!<br />
This issue, we widened our callout range and embraced submissions<br />
from outside the student body. Outside works have been included in the past,<br />
but this is the first time we’ve actively pursued them. Don’t worry, we still<br />
favour student works (we want our magazine to represent us), but opening<br />
up to the public has given us more work to choose from — which ultimately<br />
results in a higher quality publication.
Editorial<br />
For our editing team, this has also given us the very practical experience<br />
of having to edit and liaise with writers with whom we have no pre-existing<br />
rapport. This better replicates the methods of real world publishers and, so,<br />
better prepares us for further work in the industry. I hope this is something<br />
that continues in future issues.<br />
This issue, as with <strong>INfusion</strong> 46 before it, benefitted from having<br />
full-sized classes work on it. Last year’s two issues were put together by a<br />
small-but-dedicated group of volunteers. They all did a fantastic job, but this<br />
year’s increases in time and manpower have allowed us to be a little more<br />
ambitious. I’m talking initiatives like quirky page layouts, running author<br />
bios, and publicising our intentions with community-wide posters.<br />
All year our teacher, Edwina Preston, has stepped back and allowed<br />
us full creative control. We’ve discussed, designed and delegated; we’ve also<br />
experimented, learnt from our mistakes and have pushed, not just ourselves,<br />
but our authors, too.<br />
This issue, we had the experience of shopping around for an external<br />
printer. This was an exciting insight into the ‘business’ side of producing a<br />
magazine. The company we went with had to adhere to both our high standards<br />
and our monolithic list of demands (we maintain that samosas, Long<br />
Island iced teas and regularly-fluffed pillows are conducive to the creation of<br />
great work). It’s this level of control that has helped make <strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> feel less<br />
like a school project and more like a fully-realised literary journal in its own<br />
right.<br />
The final thing I’ll mention (and, again, this bears relevance to previous<br />
issues) is that, this year, the <strong>INfusion</strong> team have become even fiercer advocates<br />
of the online software, Dropbox. Dropbox plays an important role in<br />
the production of <strong>INfusion</strong>; it enables us to seamlessly manage our files and<br />
our spreadsheets across both home and class computers. It’s another example<br />
of how the internet has helped us expand our operation (we’ve also started a<br />
Fac<strong>ebook</strong> page: check out ‘<strong>INfusion</strong> Literary Journal’). I feel it’s important to<br />
embrace — and not resist — new trends and technologies; you might say, in<br />
some respects, that this is our ‘crazy sci-fi issue’. (If you’re wondering, though,<br />
we’re still yet to harness the technology that projects our <strong>INfusion</strong> logo into<br />
the sky.)<br />
8<br />
Well, that’s enough waffle from me. I’m really proud of how this issue<br />
turned out. For some of us, it’s the culmination of two years of study and, as<br />
such, it’s a real product of all that we’ve learnt.<br />
I hope you enjoy Infusion <strong>47</strong>.<br />
Tom O’Connell<br />
Lead Editor<br />
I don’t usually comment on <strong>INfusion</strong> editions, but found I couldn’t resist this<br />
year. Every year is fabulous, and I am continually bowled over by my students’<br />
commitment and professionalism, but the <strong>2012</strong> team needs to be singled out<br />
for special praise.<br />
Negotiating a group of fifteen people on one publication could’ve been<br />
a train wreck. Instead, this issue has been a smooth-running engine, powered<br />
by passion and persistence and a preparedness to work outside of class time<br />
(excuse the alliteration). Tom O’Connell has honed his already muscular editing<br />
skills and applied them with both humility and grace; Bernard O’Connor’s<br />
substantial design sense has informed the overall look and feel of <strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong>;<br />
Jodie Garth has kept her gentle but nevertheless efficient management skills<br />
sharp despite being well into the third trimester of her pregnancy.<br />
And the rest? Thanks go out to the diverse but highly harmonious <strong>2012</strong><br />
Publishing Studio group: the quiet professionalism of Adam Mackay and<br />
Caitlin Rose; the indispensable pedantry of Norman Jensen; Veronica Bauer’s<br />
optimism; Sam Gillard’s InDesign expertise; Helen Krionas’s bubbly reliability;<br />
Aaron Hughes’s determination to be teacher’s pet; Jessica Morris’s<br />
invariably sunny nature; Tony Stark’s gentle determination; the inimitable<br />
Shevon Higgins; the divinely eccentric Tom Donlon; and Anne Bowman, who<br />
selflessly volunteered her time and knowledge to the project. Oh, and, of<br />
course, Isabelle Dupré, and her exceptional illustration skills.<br />
Phew! Hope I haven’t missed anyone out ... Thank you all for making<br />
Issue <strong>47</strong> a teacher’s dream.<br />
Edwina Preston<br />
Publishing Co-ordinator<br />
9<br />
Editorial
Warwick Sprawson<br />
Windmill Books<br />
From: publisher@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
To: dev074@fastmail.com.au<br />
Subject: New Voices Award <strong>2012</strong><br />
Dear Devin,<br />
Congratulations! You are the winner of Windmill Books’ inaugural New Voices<br />
Award! Your manuscript, with its vivacious writing and vivid characterisation,<br />
beat contenders from all around Australia. Everyone here at Windmill is really<br />
excited about working with you to publish your wonderful manuscript, ‘The<br />
Bourgeois Collective’.<br />
Would it be possible to come into our Melbourne office and meet the team? It<br />
would be good for you to meet Kathy, the editor you’ll be working with.<br />
Thanks for choosing to entrust your manuscript with Windmill Books and<br />
congratulations again on winning the New Voices Award.<br />
Warm regards,<br />
George Nagelmackers<br />
Publisher, Windmill Books<br />
From: dev074@fastmail.com.au<br />
To: publisher@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
Subject: New Voices Award!<br />
Dear George,<br />
* * *<br />
I can’t tell you how excited I was to receive your email! As you well know, being<br />
a writer it is a constant battle to get traction and continue your journey against<br />
the blizzard of rejections, so you can imagine how winning this award has<br />
bucked me up. I’ve been working on this book for nearly three years and it is<br />
wonderful that I will be able to share it with a wider audience.<br />
As my letter may have indicated, I live on a bush block near Castlemaine but I<br />
come down to the city regularly and would be delighted to meet the Windmill<br />
team. What day/time did you have in mind?<br />
Thanks for this great opportunity.<br />
Warm regards,<br />
Devin Keys<br />
10 11<br />
* * *<br />
From: publisher@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
To: dev074@fastmail.com.au<br />
Subject: Re: New Voices Award!<br />
Dear Devin,<br />
<strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
It was great to meet you yesterday and present you with your certificate.<br />
Everyone here at Windmill really admires your work and is keen to produce<br />
this book and, who knows, perhaps future books too! We are sure you will<br />
become a significant new Australian voice.<br />
Could you please forward us your most recent manuscript? Kathy will do a<br />
thorough read and provide the initial feedback. Obviously we want to work<br />
with you to make this book the best it can be and, as discussed, this will likely<br />
mean a bit of rewriting before publication.<br />
It was lovely to meet you and we look forward to seeing you again soon.
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong><br />
Warm regards,<br />
George Nagelmackers<br />
Publisher, Windmill Books<br />
From: dev074@fastmail.com.au<br />
To: kathy@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
CC: publisher@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
Subject: The Bourgeois Collective<br />
Dear Kathy,<br />
* * *<br />
Just touching base; George said to contact you directly — he sounds very busy,<br />
the Frankfurt Book Fair must have been exhausting. I was wondering if you<br />
have had a chance to review the manuscript yet? I know it has only been three<br />
weeks (twenty-three days, to be exact) so please excuse my impatience, but I<br />
haven’t really worked with an editor before and am very keen to receive professional<br />
feedback.<br />
I’m really looking forward to working together on this.<br />
Regards,<br />
Devin<br />
* * *<br />
From: kathy@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
To: dev074@fastmail.com.au<br />
Subject: M/s<br />
Dear Devin,<br />
Sorry I haven’t gotten back to you earlier but we had three books going to print<br />
so we were all very busy. I’ve almost finished reading the m/s but perhaps it is<br />
12<br />
13<br />
<strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
best that we wait until I finish it completely before I pass on my suggestions.<br />
Maybe you could drop by the office sometime next week? Say, Friday 1:30pm? I<br />
will be able to provide more direction on the ms then.<br />
Cheers,<br />
Kathy<br />
Senior Editor, Windmill Books<br />
From: dev074@fastmail.com.au<br />
To: kathy@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
CC: publisher@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
Subject: Revisions<br />
Hi Kathy,<br />
* * *<br />
It was interesting to read your comments on the manuscript, although some<br />
of your handwriting was a little difficult to understand and you sure seem to<br />
spill a lot of coffee. I must admit I was shocked by the scale of the revisions<br />
you’ve suggested. Do you really think the whole of Part One needs to go? It<br />
seems to me that the backstory of Frank’s relationship with Matilda is central<br />
to the narrative; if the reader doesn’t know their history then they won’t<br />
understand their actions and conversations in Part Two. I guess it is just a<br />
little confronting receiving such direct, professional — and very constructive<br />
— criticism. It’s great though. I see an editor as a helicopter surveying the<br />
whole literary landscape while the author is crouched in a cave with a pen.<br />
I think you are probably right about the character of Jeff. He doesn’t add a lot<br />
to the story — it’s a little sad, but I’ll snuff him out.<br />
I have taken six weeks off work (I’m an arts teacher at the local TAFE) so I can<br />
devote myself to fixing up the manuscript and incorporating your suggestions.<br />
I will email you my revisions when they are done. Would you like them
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> <strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
chapter by chapter or the whole lot when it’s finished?<br />
Regards,<br />
Devin<br />
* * *<br />
From: publisher@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
To: kathy@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
Subject: Award guy<br />
Hey Kathy,<br />
Could you ring the award guy for me? He’s been leaving messages on my<br />
phone and I don’t have time to ring him back. Let him know you’re handling it<br />
from here. Do we have a meeting today? If so it’s your turn to bring the cake.<br />
Cheers,<br />
George Nagelmackers<br />
Publisher, Windmill Books<br />
From: kathy@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
To: publisher@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
Subject: Re: Award guy<br />
Hi George,<br />
* * *<br />
Yeah, we have a meeting at five about the alien book. I’ll call Devin this afternoon<br />
and let him know re: calls. Before I do, have you talked to him about a<br />
contract? He seems to be waiting to sign something — was a contract a part of<br />
the award? Anyhow, you might have to handle that part of it. The award was<br />
something initiated before I started here so I’m not sure what to tell him.<br />
14<br />
Hope chocolate cake is okay? Don’t be late or you won’t get any.<br />
Kathy<br />
Senior Editor, Windmill Books<br />
* * *<br />
From: kathy@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
To: dev074@fastmail.com.au<br />
Subject: revisions<br />
Hi Devin,<br />
Thanks for your calls. Yes, I had a chance to look at the new chapters and I<br />
agree they are an improvement. As time is getting a little short, please make<br />
sure you get the rest of the ms back to us asap. Also I notice the character<br />
Jeff appears to be in the story still, renamed Claude. Is there any difference<br />
between the old Jeff and the new Claude? I also urge you to really think about<br />
the comments I made about Frank. I think readers empathise with likeable<br />
characters and at the moment Frank comes across as a little creepy with all his<br />
staring and gnashing of teeth.<br />
Anyhow, we’ll keep in touch.<br />
Kathy<br />
Senior Editor, Windmill Books<br />
* * *<br />
From: publisher@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
To: dev074@fastmail.com.au<br />
Subject: advance<br />
Hi Devin,<br />
Thanks for your emails and calls. I am often away on business trips and the<br />
15
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> <strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
like so it is best for Kathy to address your concerns. Although Kathy only<br />
joined us this year, she comes with many years’ experience editing fiction,<br />
including some pretty big names. As the publisher, it is not my position to<br />
provide you with feedback or a second opinion on your manuscript. I know<br />
everyone at Windmill is right behind your efforts and looking forward to the<br />
book launch in March next year.<br />
I’m glad you finally received the cheque. The $500 is an advance on future<br />
sales.<br />
Don’t hesitate to contact Kathy with any other concerns.<br />
Regards,<br />
George Nagelmackers<br />
Publisher, Windmill Books<br />
* * *<br />
From: kathy@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
To: publisher@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
Subject: The friggin Bourgeois Collective<br />
Hi George,<br />
Just checking, did you get time to have a look at Devin’s revised ms? It seems<br />
he is having a little difficulty in implementing some of the suggestions I made<br />
to improve the narrative and fix the structure. Actually, if anything, it seems to<br />
be getting worse. Which genre did you think it best fitted when you gave him<br />
the award? Comedy? (just joking)<br />
I’d really appreciate it if you could take a look. We could get together and<br />
come up with a plan to get the book back on track, or at least make sure it<br />
doesn’t become a major embarrassment. I have five books on the go at the<br />
moment, so it is difficult to devote too much time to just one. You know how<br />
it is, it goes to print in January, which seems like ages away now, but always<br />
16<br />
comes sooner than you think.<br />
Kathy<br />
Senior Editor, Windmill Books<br />
* * *<br />
From: publisher@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
To: kathy@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
Subject: Re: The friggin Bourgeois Collective<br />
Hey Kathy,<br />
Had a quick look at the ms and share your concerns. It seems very bland. I<br />
only really got as far as Chapter 2, but I can see we have some major issues<br />
to clear up. I agree that all the rocket business has to go — it is too sciencefictiony.<br />
I thought that you could give the awards guy a copy of that Cormac<br />
McCarthy book, The Road. It’s got similarly bleak themes and a father-son<br />
relationship. It sold a tonne of copies and I think they made a movie too. Keep<br />
the receipt and I’ll reimburse you. You’ll have to handle all this, I’m off to the<br />
Miami Book Fair tomorrow. I trust your judgement, although you might need<br />
to be a bit firmer with him.<br />
George Nagelmackers<br />
Publisher, Windmill Books<br />
From: dev074@fastmail.com.au<br />
To: kathy@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
Subject: WTF?<br />
Hi Kathy,<br />
* * *<br />
I must admit I was taken aback by your email. I really put a lot of work into<br />
this new draft and faithfully implemented most of your suggestions. It seems,<br />
17
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> <strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
perhaps, that these weren’t so much ‘suggestions’ as orders. Would this be<br />
right? I haven’t had much publishing experience before, but I was under the<br />
impression that a book was a partnership between the author and the publisher<br />
(and, by extension, the editor) and that the author’s opinion would<br />
carry some weight. As far as your suggestion that I use The Road to ‘inspire’<br />
me, I think you have completely misread my work. I mean, have you even read<br />
my book? Seriously? I am writing a social commentary using scenes and situations<br />
that bring to light the flaws in our insatiable capitalist society — much<br />
as Orwell did in 1984 — not writing an ode to the end of the world. It’s been<br />
seven months since I won the award and I am concerned that your long delays<br />
in responding to my emails mean that I now won’t have time to implement<br />
your latest batch of ‘suggestions’ (many of which, by the way, contradict your<br />
initial ‘suggestions’).<br />
You want me to be more forthright in my writing? Okay, I’m extremely pissed<br />
off with you and Windmill.<br />
Go fuck yourself.<br />
Devin<br />
* * *<br />
From: kathy@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
From: publisher@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
Subject: Fwd: WTF?<br />
George,<br />
I’ve forwarded an email from Devin, the award guy — he’s gone rogue. I’ve<br />
tried my hardest to be sensitive and constructive but he is not playing ball. I<br />
have to ask: how the hell did this guy win the award? Surely there must have<br />
been more polished entries?<br />
Anyhow, we should meet to discuss this as soon as you get back, the print date<br />
is only six weeks away. Don’t bother bringing cake unless it’s rum cake.<br />
18<br />
Kathy<br />
Senior Editor, Windmill Books<br />
* * *<br />
From: publisher@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
To: kathy@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
Subject: Award guy<br />
After our meeting I looked over the latest ms and agree — it is a terrible<br />
mess. The characters are boring and the plot is limp — I mean, ten pages just<br />
explaining the layout of the factory! We have to drop this guy, I’ll wear the loss<br />
of the advance. This New Voice thing seemed like a good promotional idea at<br />
the time, but I didn’t really have time to go over the entries. It was actually the<br />
work experience kid who selected the winner. Anyhow, it was obviously a mistake,<br />
so dump the guy, ring Trish in production and tell her to smooth things<br />
over with the printers. We might have to move books around in the production<br />
schedule.<br />
George Nagelmackers<br />
Publisher, Windmill Books<br />
* * *<br />
From: kathy@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
To: dev074@fastmail.com.au<br />
Subject: Problems in the Bourgeois Collective<br />
Dear Devin,<br />
In consideration of your recent phone calls and emails Windmill Books has<br />
exercised its right to terminate your contract for ‘The Bourgeois Collective’. We<br />
are sorry for any inconvenience or disappointment this might cause but your<br />
failure to provide adequate revisions by deadline means we have no choice.<br />
19
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong><br />
As an act of goodwill we have decided to allow you to keep the advance.<br />
We wish you luck on finding another publisher.<br />
Sincerely,<br />
Kathy<br />
Senior Editor, Windmill Books<br />
From: dev074@fastmail.com.au<br />
To: kathy@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
CC: publisher@windmillbooks.com.au<br />
Subject: Thanks for the good times<br />
Dear Rotating Retards,<br />
* * *<br />
Are you called Windmill Books because you rotate in circles, rooted to the<br />
spot, gibbering, paralysed by the limits of your mollusc-like brains? You’ve<br />
fucked me around from go to whoa. You couldn’t run a bath, let alone a publishing<br />
company. It’s just like my cousin said when he worked there on work<br />
experience — you’re as professional as a shit in a boot. I’m glad to be rid of<br />
you: just like owning a pen doesn’t make me a writer, knowing the phone<br />
number of a printer doesn’t make you a publisher. Your office smells of moral<br />
turpitude and poorly suppressed farts.<br />
I don’t need a publisher for my writing. Spray paint is cheap and walls are<br />
everywhere — look across the street, arseholes.<br />
Most sincerely,<br />
Devin Aaron Hughes<br />
20<br />
Won’t Stop
Simon Exley<br />
When my Brother Tore the<br />
Pages from my Book<br />
I gave up writing<br />
when I was maybe<br />
five or six<br />
when my brother<br />
tore the pages from my book<br />
I gave up writing<br />
again<br />
when I was twenty-four<br />
to become<br />
a religious clone<br />
Everything comes in threes<br />
so I will give up writing<br />
again<br />
when I die<br />
22<br />
Simon Exley<br />
Cul-de-sac Books<br />
Bernard O’Connor
Veronica Bauer<br />
Communication with Aussies<br />
My third day in Australia was coming to an end and somehow I had to get<br />
from the hostel to the central bus station with a twenty-five-kilogram backpack<br />
dragging me down. Why on earth did I pack four books? Probably to<br />
distract myself from the reality that I was totally lost and was beginning to<br />
think that spending a year backpacking Down Under was not the great idea it<br />
had seemed when I’d been bragging to my friends about it.<br />
I pay the rest of my fees, which leaves me enough money for lunch and<br />
the bus fare, but not a cent more. I turn to walk away and the girl behind the<br />
counter shouts after me, ‘See ya later.’<br />
I stop in my tracks, my giant backpack nearly bringing me to my knees.<br />
What? Slowly I turn around and waddle back to the smiling girl. I didn’t book<br />
another night by accident, did I?<br />
In somewhat muddled English, I try to explain that I am leaving<br />
Brisbane never to return in this lifetime. After two bone-dry days of failing to<br />
locate anything in this godforsaken town, I’ve had enough. I couldn’t even find<br />
a supermarket and had been living on snacks from the fuel station across the<br />
road.<br />
Her smile doesn’t waver. ‘Yeah, nah, you’re alright, where you headed?’<br />
I am slightly embarrassed to tell her that I am heading to a ‘farm stay’ in<br />
Gympie — where I will learn how to get on a horse, fall off a motorbike and<br />
not cut my arm off with a chainsaw or slice my face open with barb wire while<br />
putting up a cattle fence.<br />
‘Sounds great, have fun.’ I turn away again with a mumbled goodbye and<br />
am nearly out the door, when I am stopped again by a cheerful ‘See ya later’.<br />
I don’t get it. I really don’t. Is my English that bad? Didn’t I just explain<br />
that I was not coming back? Why does she think I’m coming back? Cursing<br />
every single book ever written, I drag myself and my luggage back to the counter<br />
for a second round.<br />
I ask her if I am mistakenly booked in for another night. She must be<br />
used to dealing with imbeciles because her smile stays firmly plastered on her<br />
round face.<br />
‘Yeah, nah, you’re all checked out.’<br />
Do I owe any more money?<br />
24<br />
25<br />
<strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
‘Nah, she’s alright.’<br />
What? Who is alright?<br />
I can’t deal with this; my backpack is cutting into my shoulders and,<br />
twenty minutes into my journey, I am already drenched in sweat. I’m leaving;<br />
to hell with it if she thinks I’m coming back. One final ‘See ya later’ trails after<br />
me as I shuffle away from the crazy lady behind the counter.<br />
I would like to say that after this I got it. But I didn’t. The scene repeated<br />
itself in a bakery and a fuel station on the way to Gympie, then one more time<br />
as I was saying my goodbyes at the end of the farm stay. The trainer there —<br />
maybe wise to my limitations after watching me fall off a standing motorbike<br />
and slowly roll down a muddy hill several times this week — finally takes pity<br />
on me.<br />
‘It’s just a phrase, Bubblegum. It’s what we say instead of goodbye.’<br />
I stare and silently relive many, suddenly very embarrassing, moments in<br />
my mind. Of course, I knew that.<br />
That’s lesson one: Australians do not mean what they say. Ever.<br />
‘See ya later’ means ‘goodbye’; ‘she’s alright’ means nothing at all; and<br />
‘fuck off’ means ‘what an interesting story that was — I can hardly believe my<br />
ears.’ ‘Don’t worry about it’ means ‘I am a very polite person, are you?’ Or it<br />
means, ‘you are an imbecile incapable of the simplest task, go away and let me<br />
do your job because you are clearly useless and I am so polite I don’t even say it<br />
aloud.’<br />
In case of doubt, just nod and smile.
Home<br />
Aaron Hughes<br />
‘I walked into a door handle.’<br />
‘I fell over.’<br />
‘I missed the swing of the punching bag.’<br />
‘It was my fault.’<br />
‘I made him angry.’<br />
I sat, staring at the other occupants of the room, listening to the excuses<br />
that these battered wives had used in the past to explain their injuries and<br />
bruises.<br />
I looked to my feet, thinking how stupid I was not to have realised what<br />
was happening to me every time ‘I love you’ was said. All the apologies. The<br />
remorse. I looked up to see the head of the group staring at me expectantly.<br />
‘Would you like to share your story?’ she asked me.<br />
I didn’t know what to say. When I go home I’m scared, but I didn’t think<br />
they would understand. I act calm, confident, in control. But my spouse scares<br />
me. I’m alone when I go home; my family doesn’t know, how can I tell them?<br />
How do I tell them that the day I said ‘I do’, I lost my soul?<br />
‘I married Jordan when I was eighteen. We were young and in love. I<br />
thought I was going to be that happy for the rest of my life. But something<br />
changed. Work got harder … or maybe we just weren’t old enough to realise.’<br />
I paused. How do I explain this? How do I explain what happened to us?<br />
What happened to me?<br />
‘It started when she wanted to have a baby.’ I thought back to that day.<br />
She had walked into the house and thrown me onto the bed. Our usual slow<br />
love-making was replaced by a fast, painful bout of sex. I only lasted ten minutes,<br />
but the torture she put me through felt like I had been restrained for<br />
hours. I had woken up the next morning covered in bruises, my ears filled<br />
with her apologies.<br />
‘She said she was at the right time in her cycle, and I believed her.’ Two<br />
months later she told me she was pregnant. I was going to have a child, when<br />
we were still children.<br />
‘Leslie, my sister, said I was too young, that we were fooling ourselves<br />
into believing we could take care of a child. She was right. We couldn’t.’ Jordan<br />
went back to work three months after Tara was born.<br />
27<br />
S.L. Higgins<br />
Jordan
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong><br />
‘I stayed for Tara. She was the only thing keeping me sane. I would have<br />
left, but I couldn’t leave her there. I didn’t know what Jordan would do if I left.<br />
What she would do to Tara.’ And I couldn’t take Tara with me. Me, with no<br />
support system, no money because I was a stay-at-home dad. And Jordan —<br />
with a politician for a dad and a mum who was a member of a freaking royal<br />
family. I was screwed.<br />
‘I thought it was over, that I would be submissive for the rest of my life.’<br />
But I got home one night to find him in our bed. Tied up the way she<br />
used to bind me. Gagged so he couldn’t talk. Blindfolded. He groaned. He was<br />
in pain. I could tell. His wrists were raw from the binds. His ankles, too.<br />
‘I got a divorce. And sole custody.’<br />
28<br />
Dusseldorf Trees<br />
S.L. Higgins
Mary Stephenson<br />
Behind Closed Doors<br />
30<br />
(novel extract)<br />
‘You like being a little sister, don’t you, Meri?’<br />
I had not given the subject much thought.<br />
‘Yes.’<br />
‘It’s nice with two girls. Isn’t it?’<br />
My mother looked up from the table. I nodded.<br />
‘It was for the best then.’<br />
I was about to ask her what she meant when she looked up at the clock<br />
and rose to her feet. She removed her apron, rolled it into a bundle, then<br />
shoved it into the kitchen cupboard.<br />
‘Sweep up the mess,’ she said, pushing me towards the broom.<br />
As I swept the debris of the garlic plants that she had been plaiting into<br />
wreaths, I heard someone at the front door. I hoped it wasn’t one of the yayas,<br />
the old Greek women who often turned up unannounced to pay their respects.<br />
Eleni called them witches.<br />
‘They’re not paying respect,’ she would say. ‘It’s the complete opposite;<br />
it’s downright disrespectful to just turn up like that, as if they own the place.’<br />
The yayas made Eleni angry, but they frightened me. There was something<br />
strange in the way they all dressed in complete black — black dresses<br />
with black cardigans and black stockings, which they rolled down to just<br />
below their knees. You could see their hairy legs when they sat down. Without<br />
exception, they wore gold crucifixes at their necks and carried large vinyl<br />
handbags — black, of course. From those bags they would produce sugarcoated<br />
almonds, bonbonniere that had been left over from a recent wedding<br />
or christening, which they sucked noisily behind their false teeth. Afterwards,<br />
they would reach inside their bags for a lace or embroidered handkerchief<br />
with which to wipe the spittle from their mouths. The yayas made me uneasy.<br />
It wasn’t all the black; it was their sameness. I wondered if all Greek women<br />
ended up that way.<br />
When I had finished sweeping, I took a peep into the front room to<br />
see who was calling. The front room was supposed to be the ‘good room’ for<br />
receiving guests, but it also housed the bed, which I shared with Eleni. Every<br />
morning we had to make it ‘visitor ready’ by spreading one of the heavy blankets<br />
— which our mother had woven in Greece — upon the bed. In front of<br />
31<br />
<strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
the bed, we would place two small armchairs and two wooden seats around a<br />
small table. Arranged in this fashion, the room made do as a living room.<br />
Sitting on one of those chairs, I immediately recognised Haricula. Of<br />
all the women who visited, this one I disliked the most. Her face was gaunt;<br />
time had sucked the flesh from beneath her skin, leaving her skin taut over<br />
her cheek bones and chin. Her nose dominated her face, tapering from her<br />
arched eyebrows down to a sharp point just above her tight mouth. A thin line<br />
of black facial hair grew above her top lip and a few longer whiskers were visible<br />
on her chin. Her skin was like the leather my father used for shoemaking,<br />
creased with wrinkles that crisscrossed every part of her face right down to her<br />
throat. Her hands, too, repulsed me. With their skinny fingers and long yellow<br />
nails, they reminded me of chicken feet. My mother beckoned me closer.<br />
‘Say hello to Haricula,’ she demanded.<br />
Not Aunt Haricula, not Cousin Haricula; she was simply Haricula. Up<br />
close, I noticed she smelt like the chicken and egg broth that mother cooked<br />
on Sundays. Haricula laughed her greeting and her false teeth gave a strange<br />
clattering sound. She’s cackling! She’s a hen! I shrank back.<br />
Haricula clucked her teeth again. ‘She has no manners. You need to<br />
teach her how to respect her elders,’ she declared to my mother. ‘You should<br />
cut the girl’s hair.’<br />
She spoke as if I had left the room.<br />
‘It is an affront to God to have such hair,’ she continued. ‘So white.’<br />
She crossed herself as if she was in church. I looked to my mother. I<br />
waited for her to defend me, but instead she told me to prepare coffee and<br />
cherry preserve. When I returned with the laden tray, they were sitting with<br />
their heads close together whispering. Haricula caught sight of me. She sat up<br />
straight, nodded her head in my direction to alert my mother, then folded her<br />
hands in her lap and pursed her lips. My mother rose and, taking the tray, told<br />
me to leave the room and close the door behind me.<br />
I could not remember ever seeing that door shut. The three-room cottage<br />
in which we lived did not have a hallway. The rooms were built one after<br />
the other with two shared doorways: one between the front room and the<br />
kitchen, the other between the kitchen and my parents’ bedroom. If privacy<br />
was necessary, the second door could be closed, but the first door was always<br />
left open.<br />
I stood in the kitchen and listened. The whispering and muttering ebbed<br />
and flowed; sometimes it was like the breeze rustling through the leaves and
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong><br />
then it would grow louder, more intense, like a biting winter wind. I thought<br />
I heard sobbing, so I pressed my ear to the door. My understanding of Greek<br />
was limited, but it was enough to comprehend that they were talking about a<br />
baby. One word, katastrepsei, I had never heard before and each time it was<br />
mentioned my mother’s sobbing grew louder and more plaintive.<br />
The conversation continued for a few more moments in muffled tones<br />
and then I heard the scraping of a chair. I jumped back and exited the house<br />
through the back garden gate. I went in search of my sister. Eleni’s Greek was<br />
better than mine. Perhaps she would know what katastrepsei meant.<br />
32<br />
I Met a Wizard Online<br />
Emma McVinish
Jodie Garth<br />
The Butcher<br />
He was a robust man with ruddy cheeks, and upon his spherical head perched<br />
a small tuft of hair: a handful of greasy salt-and-pepper strands, unwashed for<br />
many years for he was not one to invest in shampoo or care for his appearance,<br />
not when his head would be covered by a hat for so many hours of the day — a<br />
hat which, blue and white in colour, matched his apron, an apron which, contrary<br />
to his hair, he took great pride in, washing it meticulously at the close<br />
of each day to rid it of stray remnants of fat and sinew, eradicating the fingershaped<br />
blood stains smeared across his protruding middle, smeared by chubby<br />
fingers as he set about his work in the shop — his shop — day after day: his place<br />
of pride and joy — his sanctuary — once owned by his father but now solely his,<br />
where he chopped and carved and sold his wares to passersby (greeting them by<br />
name, and in return greeted personally), these customers, but more than that —<br />
companions, almost family — as they engaged in transactions of meat for money,<br />
sharing for the briefest of moments a passion for these delicacies of sausages and<br />
burgers and mince and steak before one would exit the store, the door’s bell dinging<br />
in their wake, and the other would proudly rub his large belly with his red<br />
hand and flash a smile on that large red face.<br />
34<br />
Bast<br />
Anne Bowman
Myron Lysenko<br />
Sarcoma<br />
(for Lucy Lysenko)<br />
many blossoms —<br />
the teenager is diagnosed<br />
with bone cancer<br />
Women’s Hospital —<br />
as a precaution she harvests<br />
her ovaries<br />
the surgeon<br />
removes her knee —<br />
summer heat<br />
transferred to Peter Mac<br />
to begin chemotherapy —<br />
perfect beach weather<br />
rose petals —<br />
the patient begins to lose<br />
her hair<br />
glorious sunset —<br />
teenagers at their windows<br />
in Oncology<br />
a blackbird<br />
flies towards the moon —<br />
cancer ward<br />
hospital chapel —<br />
we light a candle for all<br />
our dead family and friends<br />
36<br />
bloated and sick —<br />
she sends her parents away<br />
so she can cry<br />
closed coffin —<br />
the bald teenagers<br />
cry together<br />
remission —<br />
she books her flights<br />
for a holiday in Europe<br />
37<br />
<strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12
Hole in the Sky<br />
Veronica Bauer<br />
She sits silently, sucking her dummy.<br />
She’s tall for her age.<br />
She could be a six-year-old;<br />
I know she’s only four.<br />
39<br />
The Shy Observer<br />
I understand her shyness;<br />
she’s an observer.<br />
She told her mother about the other children.<br />
I recall her detailed descriptions of everyone.<br />
She’s so intelligent;<br />
I love her dearly.<br />
I feel her pain.<br />
She looks for me;<br />
she makes sure I’m still there.<br />
I know it’s hard to be so sensitive.<br />
She cries when it’s time for me to go.<br />
I could cry too; God, it’s so hard sometimes.<br />
I comfort her the next time she arrives.<br />
I suggest things for her to do.<br />
She does a painting, alone ...<br />
I know she trusts me completely.<br />
Tony Stark
Hold Still<br />
Emma McVinish<br />
41<br />
Anne Bowman<br />
After the Rain<br />
We had been waiting for the rain, something wet and cool to wash away the<br />
dust and quench the dry-throated whispers of recent months. That strange<br />
dust, suggestive of ground-up, mummified bodies and bones; that dust which<br />
seemed to coat everything in layers of death.<br />
We had grown tired of yet higher levels of water restrictions, tired of<br />
infrequent showers which hardly washed away the dust that gave everything<br />
a grey cast, settling into cracks and crevices, stone-like and reminiscent of<br />
unwashed old age. Weary of dead gardens and parks and the skeleton trees<br />
lining every path and roadway — the unwelcome sight which greeted us daily.<br />
Of course, our complaints at being affronted by the unaesthetic appearance<br />
the drought was causing to our neat, ordered suburbia seemed petty,<br />
given increasing food shortages — the results of years of our vanity affecting<br />
the land — were becoming of greater concern. At least bushfires were less frequent<br />
as there was precious little left to burn. Ash-like dust whirled, choosing<br />
its domain, and where it settled, nothing ever grew again.<br />
Strangely, it wasn’t entirely true that rain never fell anywhere during<br />
these arid times. Weak showers fell in some places: over the odd veggie plot<br />
in a suburban backyard, or over small patches of farmland. It was as though<br />
something wanted some of us to survive. And weirdly, rain only fell in places<br />
where the dust hadn’t settled.<br />
The dust was somewhat unusual, not only in composition, but in distribution.<br />
Satellite pictures revealed that it fell in strange patterns — selective<br />
it seemed — using the Earth as its canvas for cryptic images. But pictures of<br />
what? Some observers remarked that the pattern was one of a death’s head,<br />
which settled over areas like a movable stamp pressed onto the land, indelible,<br />
eternal. Sure, scientists had their say on the phenomena, but no answers were<br />
forthcoming.<br />
Then something happened: it began to rain.<br />
At first there was the appearance of cumulus clouds, quite distinguishable<br />
from the ever-present, mocking dust clouds. Rain came in tiny droplets,<br />
not really enough to do much in the way of replenishing dwindling water supplies.<br />
Not enough to wash away the dust.<br />
A homicidal, suicidal humidity built up. Constant power outages from
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong><br />
the overuse of air conditioning only added to the intolerable situation.<br />
Surprisingly, for all the problems faced, society hadn’t fallen into complete<br />
chaos. Restrictions and rationing were daily concerns, but we seemed to be<br />
coping.<br />
People had died in numbers equivalent to dwindling resources and harsh<br />
conditions. At first it was the usual — the old, the infirm, the very young.<br />
But there was something odd about the manner of their deaths. People just<br />
stopped. Instantaneous death became something of a relief, really, as hospital<br />
and medical services were stretched to the limits due to the increased occurrence<br />
of other ailments.<br />
Despite all of that, the dead were taken care of; bodies didn’t just pile<br />
up on the streets. Cemeteries had been overcrowded, and cremation was<br />
limited due to lack of resources, so laws were quickly passed allowing people<br />
to bury their dead at home, in gardens, backyards, and community spaces.<br />
Death was so commonplace that the usual conventions were relaxed or merely<br />
ignored. Simple rituals were practiced; everything stripped back, with even<br />
religion reduced to its most basic formalities. Almost back to the bones of the<br />
Palaeolithic.<br />
Then it finally rained. And the rain changed everything.<br />
A torrid, torrential downpour announced the breaking of the drought.<br />
Everyone who was able to ran into the streets. Funny thing, though: all who<br />
were touched by the rain dropped dead. Those indoors watched on in horror;<br />
the sinking realisation hitting like those cruel longed-for raindrops hadn’t.<br />
Salvation was not about to happen this day. It’s believed that many took their<br />
lives during those first hours — bereft of hope, their wills smashed from waiting<br />
for the reign of dust to end, only to result in yet more despair. But it didn’t<br />
end there. No, weirder things were to happen over the next few days.<br />
It rained for one full day, and then stopped. It was then the dead began<br />
to rise.<br />
It wasn’t those touched by the rain: only those who had been caught<br />
in the dust. As gravestones moved and little patches of earth in backyards<br />
cracked, the desiccated corpses of those who had died in the drought began to<br />
emerge. Once dried and crackled, rotting and decayed, the now rainnourished<br />
corpses plumped up and took to the streets. There, they gathered<br />
up the bodies of the newly dead. And took them home.<br />
42<br />
Have you seen Alice?<br />
Alice in her blue dress<br />
Over burnished copper skin?<br />
She walks ahead<br />
Looking back<br />
Only to smile<br />
Have you seen Alice?<br />
Her bare brown feet<br />
Slender ankles, grooves<br />
Like cupped lovers’ palms<br />
Skipping up dust<br />
With fierce white teeth<br />
I’ve seen Alice<br />
Curves<br />
Drawing my eye<br />
Horizon<br />
Of swollen line and stick<br />
A flatness that hums<br />
I’ve seen Alice<br />
The wicked sister<br />
Who walks about<br />
This way and that<br />
Seedpods splitting<br />
For a bushfire birth<br />
In Alice I’ve loved<br />
She lay quiet<br />
Gold dust<br />
Feathering<br />
Dense dark lashes<br />
Ochre-earth dreaming<br />
43<br />
Annerliegh Grace McCall<br />
Alice
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong><br />
In Alice I’ve slept<br />
The cicadas chattering<br />
Their heart attack chorus<br />
Song-lines echoed<br />
Unto the land<br />
And Alice awakes in fevered dusk<br />
So fine is Alice<br />
A devil bestowed upon her<br />
The gift of marbles<br />
So that she might roll them<br />
Between dry, loving fingers<br />
Serpentine charming<br />
So true<br />
Is Alice<br />
The waves<br />
Of russet sand<br />
Are both soft<br />
And hard<br />
I left Alice<br />
Drew my name in the land<br />
Sand that can never<br />
Be shaken<br />
From crevices<br />
In skin<br />
44<br />
Be Free<br />
Aaron Hughes
Aaron Hughes<br />
Leaving The Devil<br />
Enough is enough.<br />
No more.<br />
Time to go.<br />
Damian collapsed back onto the bed. He slowed his breathing, almost<br />
meditating. He turned his head on the side, waiting for any sound from the<br />
living room. Hugo would hopefully be knocked out for a while yet. He’d had<br />
more tequila than usual last night. But Hugo’s tolerance for it had increased<br />
lately. No telling how long Damian could rely on the alcohol to keep him out.<br />
Now for what the chatrooms talked about: an exit strategy. He didn’t<br />
have long; an hour maybe? He wouldn’t let himself stay this time. He knew<br />
that if he didn’t go now, he’d let Hugo persuade him to stay, again. He’d believe<br />
the apologies. He’d give in to the pleading, the tears. He’d wake up tomorrow<br />
evening to another expensive gift.<br />
Like that would make it all okay.<br />
The gift would be broken in a couple of weeks.<br />
And maybe I would be, too.<br />
Damian cradled his bruised left arm. He reached over to the bedside<br />
table drawer, thumbed a couple of Panadol and swallowed them dry. He<br />
looked down at the finger-shaped bruises on his arm. Hugo had large hands.<br />
They could be gentle hands. They could stroke his body until he cried out<br />
for pleasurable release. Lately, though, there was a ruthless quality to Hugo’s<br />
touch.<br />
So, it’s come to this, has it? Well done, you.<br />
He felt a warmth rise in his face. He could no longer deny what Hugo<br />
was. Worse, it defined him, too. He was a victim. A special type of victim, but<br />
a victim nonetheless.<br />
I’m a boring housefrau stereotype.<br />
Damian took another deep breath. Outside on the balcony, a cicada<br />
chirped. It would soon be sunset. This was his cue to get moving.<br />
He sat up on the edge of the bed, then stood up too quickly and stumbled,<br />
unsteady. As he waited for the dizziness to pass, he ran several tentative<br />
fingers over his left temple. He could feel the beginnings of an egg-shaped<br />
lump.<br />
46<br />
<strong>47</strong><br />
<strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
That was the edge of the bedside table. That’s what finally put me out for<br />
the count last night.<br />
Damian looked down at himself. He was still wearing last night’s tight<br />
black jeans and matching muscle top. The zip and button of his jeans were<br />
still done up. Looks like Hugo hadn’t touched him this time while he’d been<br />
unconscious.<br />
Small blessing.<br />
He looked around the room, blinking.<br />
What to do first?<br />
He took a step forward, but struggled to ignite his thought process. His<br />
hands twitched.<br />
Money.<br />
He would need money to get away. This spurred him into action.<br />
He took Hugo’s leather satchel from the dresser and found the wallet in<br />
it. He extracted all of the cash; about three hundred dollars. Damian took up<br />
his canvas backpack and checked he had his credit cards. As soon as he left, he<br />
would get the maximum cash advance on both of them. Once Hugo knew he<br />
was gone for good, he would cancel both cards straight away. He checked that<br />
he had his driver’s licence to prove his identity.<br />
Passport?<br />
He fumbled in the side of his bag. The dog-eared passport was there. In a<br />
pinch, he might need to get out of the county. It might be the only real way to<br />
get away. Unless Hugo chose to follow him.<br />
Phone?<br />
He stood, head cocked again. He thought he’d heard something. He<br />
paused for a moment, holding his breath. Nothing.<br />
Keep going, dickhead.<br />
Damian took up his bag, then ducked around to his side of the bed. He<br />
remembered Hugo had thrown his phone — and several shot glasses — across<br />
the room last night.<br />
At me.<br />
He found the phone, amongst broken glass, by the curtains.<br />
Miraculously, the carpet had protected it. Grabbing his iPad and MacBook by<br />
their cracked screens from the beside table, he pushed everything down into<br />
his backpack and zipped it up.<br />
Wallet. Check.<br />
iDevices. Check.
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> <strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
Keys?<br />
Ah, now that might be a problem.<br />
Oh, crap.<br />
Hugo had taken them from him the night before when he’d threatened<br />
to leave. That was before Damian’s lights had gone out. He needed the keys<br />
because he needed the car. It was the only thing, apart from his personal<br />
credit card, that was in his name. He could sell it and start anew.<br />
But the keys were in Hugo’s pocket.<br />
Fuck.<br />
Fuuuck.<br />
Damian absently scratched at his neck with his good hand. He glanced at<br />
it, and found his nails crusted with dried blood. He darted over to the mirror<br />
behind the bedroom door. There were two ragged gashes on the right side of<br />
his neck, surrounded by purple bruises. But the wounds were healing already.<br />
Thank God.<br />
Hugo had been busy last night. Busy, mean, and thirsty.<br />
He stared at himself in the mirror. Dried blood, bruises, holding his arm<br />
protectively.<br />
This is what you’ve come to. Classy.<br />
Damian reached across to the dresser for a packet of moist wipes.<br />
Carefully, he wiped away all of the blood. Then he ran a towelette through his<br />
spiky hair. Better.<br />
Okay, get the keys.<br />
Damian willed himself into action. He slipped into his black bomber<br />
jacket, shrugged on his backpack and slid into his sneakers. Listening intently,<br />
he padded down the carpeted hallway to the living room.<br />
Hugo lay on the couch, snoring. Bare-chested, still wearing last night’s<br />
leather pants and biker boots — the very image of a rock god. His razorcropped,<br />
white-blonde hair stood out against the electric blue of the sofa.<br />
Dry blood trailed from the left side of Hugo’s mouth all the way down to his<br />
nipple.<br />
Damian touched the side of his neck again.<br />
Hugo really had guzzled last night.<br />
He watched the rise and fall of Hugo’s broad chest. Many a night he’d<br />
fallen asleep on his chest, listening to his own blood thrumming through<br />
Hugo’s veins, even if he couldn’t hear Hugo’s heart.<br />
48<br />
But that was the past now. If he could get away, he would spend some<br />
time healing. Then he would find himself a handsome new sugar-daddy master.<br />
Preferably one who wouldn’t use him as a punching bag, and who would<br />
protect him if Hugo came after him. He was happy living the life of a cylix — a<br />
drinking vessel.<br />
Damian spied the outline of his keys in the pocket next to the bulge in<br />
Hugo’s pants.<br />
All he had to do now was retrieve the keys from the hip pocket of a six<br />
foot four, two hundred and twenty pound, three hundred and seven year old<br />
vámpīr.<br />
Jesus fucking Christ.<br />
49
E Garmisch München<br />
S.L. Higgins<br />
the white chariot arrives on the dark street,<br />
illuminating me in its headlights.<br />
your face glows softly,<br />
strength and tenderness,<br />
man and boy<br />
blended in its contours and cleft.<br />
dark locks fall over weary, sweet kaleidoscopes;<br />
your broad chest carries vests and ruffles well.<br />
your hands, glimpsed in the light,<br />
are safe and caring,<br />
right here on the steering wheel.<br />
we ride into the small city enclave,<br />
fairy lights strung on early spring branches.<br />
a bewildered nursery rhyme moon cradles the darkness.<br />
read to me with your voice, both deep and light,<br />
glowing words that spin me out into the stratosphere<br />
of my Puck’s dreaming.<br />
take photos of your rose-lipped, Pierrot face<br />
and our happy adoration for each other.<br />
we will stride blissfully through the street,<br />
past fountains,<br />
beneath the lion’s arms,<br />
up secret stairs with doors for little people<br />
and white rabbits,<br />
fitted with silver bells and jazz music.<br />
floral footprints guide us into empty labyrinths with spinning songs.<br />
the last one comes on and we dance by ourselves;<br />
other secret suites await with tiny stuffed chairs,<br />
bowls of chocolate and strawberries on the windowsill,<br />
four dripping chandeliers,<br />
51<br />
Emma McVinish<br />
Changing Places at the Table<br />
Doesn’t Fool the Cards
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong><br />
and a quaint restroom.<br />
we could live here!<br />
with the cat that is asleep<br />
on the forest green lounge.<br />
i’d never find these spaces without your mischievous leadings.<br />
take my hand and go farther into night,<br />
homebound.<br />
sands shift under our feet,<br />
the light buzzes with electric currents,<br />
and sleeplessness intoxicates from your mind to mine.<br />
dew drips from leaf cups<br />
onto your glossy, laughing, sleepy head.<br />
the tiny path clambers up;<br />
vine stalk buds protrude lustfully through the fence.<br />
come sleep on my orange pillow.<br />
let me tell you bedtime tales.<br />
our fingers brush<br />
and my heart sounds like two mechanical mice<br />
making love in a spoon drawer.<br />
i press my face to your chest;<br />
now it’s time to sleep,<br />
only to wake to each other<br />
for a new adventure.<br />
52<br />
Bell Jar<br />
Emma McVinish
Jessica Morris<br />
Sacrifice<br />
The road that led Sister Ursula into the Congo heartlands was shaped like the<br />
diamond mouth of a Black Mamba. Though the dirt road was wide and sure,<br />
the dense olive green of the surrounding jungle gathered at a point in the<br />
distance. It suggested an end of the road, or a complete wild surrender. Ravi’s<br />
small hands were clamped tightly around Sister Ursula’s waist — his fingers,<br />
a pinching reminder not to increase the pace of the patient equine they were<br />
riding.<br />
The grey-haired mare had been a lucky gift from a missionary in Mabasa.<br />
Ravi had named him Miracle. He was a fit beast, not easily spooked. So far,<br />
their six-week journey had been determined by avoiding reasons to give<br />
Miracle up. Tribesman had offered hay-beds and cows in his stead; peasants<br />
had flocked to him with hungry, out-stretched hands; and nature had pushed<br />
Miracle to his limits with high rivers and territorial hunting packs. They were<br />
yet to find themselves lost. Sister Ursula had managed to keep them on the<br />
one long road, letting it snake them into the edges of the Congo.<br />
The fewer villages and painted faces they saw, the more Sister Ursula<br />
looked for God. She had been promised a country bountiful in faith and had<br />
no reason not to believe in it. The orphanages she had passed through were<br />
bursting with colours and paintings of dreams; paintings that had come from<br />
those whose lives were little more than dirt and famine.<br />
When Ravi’s pink hands had clutched at the hems of her skirt, a smile of<br />
possibility had stayed with her. Discovering he had been separated from his<br />
family by war, she felt she owed something to this place of light and dark. To<br />
take Ravi home was also another reason to leave her wooden desk and stilted<br />
shack behind in Sudan.<br />
Father John had been less forthcoming with her leave. As his long fingernails<br />
picked at his pocket-watch, he reminded her that she was a ‘woman in<br />
a black monkey’s nest’. She had told him she felt safer in God’s country than<br />
with the Arabs. Father John’s face had scrunched upwards as it often did and<br />
that was that.<br />
Sister Ursula’s new companion was young and progressive; Ravi was<br />
a peaceful little soul during the day. Small for his age, he passed for much<br />
younger than he was, which prevented the persistent slave hunters from<br />
54<br />
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<strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
reaching them; if disturbed, Sister Ursula would point harshly into Ravi’s<br />
skinny biceps and say: ‘Look at his skinny arms! He is no use to you!’<br />
They were usually left alone. It took several times before Ravi understood<br />
her trick. ‘You are my scavenger,’ she winked. ‘I can’t share you.’<br />
Yet, when night fell, Ravi became a fearful little boy. Sister Ursula told<br />
him stories of Moses and the Exodus, tracing circles on his forehead until<br />
he finally succumbed to sleep. Listening to Miracle’s steady breathing was<br />
enough of a reassurance to close her own eyes. But every night, they snapped<br />
open with the screams of Ravi’s night terrors. Sometimes it took hours to calm<br />
him. She often contemplated shaking him awake, but never acted upon this.<br />
His subconscious didn’t need a gaping hole. In the mornings, his night terrors<br />
were never spoken about and Ravi was uninhibited. ‘Here is your morning,’ he<br />
would say, smiling and passing her a banana.<br />
The day the rain came, Sister Ursula watched with unease as the sky<br />
poured onto her hands and into the mud beneath Miracle’s hooves.<br />
‘Perhaps we will find real shelter tonight. Offer work in exchange for<br />
board. This rain will do us no good.’<br />
Ravi didn’t reply, for once; his nightmares had exhausted him. They<br />
trudged for hours along the outskirts of the road.<br />
Sister Ursula focused on the distance, trying not to let the passing jungle<br />
distract her thoughts. There had never been a moment of doubt, but the<br />
rain created the sense of entrapment. Like she was washing alone in a corner<br />
somewhere. The torture lay in the knowledge that it wouldn’t stop for months;<br />
that they might not be dry for a long time.<br />
As her round brow furrowed in thought, she saw the first of the masked<br />
faces. Miracle had smelt them too; snorting and jostling at his rope reins. She<br />
squeezed his belly with her feet to silence him. Taking long breaths to slow<br />
her heartbeat, answers monopolised her thoughts: they were scouts protecting<br />
their ancient tribe; it was just a lone African practising a rite; a curious<br />
welcomer, watching them pass.<br />
Sister Ursula realised one lone tribesman couldn’t move that quickly;<br />
there were many masked people between the trees. She wanted to run, kick<br />
Miracle as hard as she could, but she feared a death arrow in her back. She<br />
feared the effect it might have on Ravi if Miracle were to take an arrow to the<br />
neck. She pulled at the reins, dismounted and faced the jungle.
Urban Luminescence<br />
William Hallett<br />
Caeli Mori (Prologue)<br />
I<br />
After fifty-nine days of gruelling interstellar travel, the mineral-farming vessel<br />
Still Legacy begins its descent. The ship’s captain, Attila Carne, regards his<br />
subordinates with a nod. The entire crew has completed this type of journey<br />
before — some as often as five times.<br />
Except young newcomer, Kipp Anderson. In a spell of awe, Kipp<br />
approaches the cockpit, which offers a panorama of the planet below. He<br />
presses his face against the glass.<br />
‘So, that’s Nasci,’ Kipp breathes.<br />
‘That’s her all right.’ Attila rests his hand on Kipp’s shoulder. ‘Ain’t much<br />
like Fusion, is she?’<br />
‘No, sir. Not a patch on home.’<br />
With just two and a half light years separating them, Nasci is Fusion’s<br />
nearest neighbour. Yet despite their proximity, the two worlds could not be<br />
more different. There’s a lustre to Nasci’s crust; Fusion’s exterior, however, is a<br />
drab charcoal colour.<br />
Kipp’s enthusiasm bests him. He shifts in his cabin position, like a terrier<br />
itching for a walk. In the background, the crew make jokes at his expense;<br />
Kipp — preoccupied with the magnificent view — is impervious to their<br />
barbed sense of humour.<br />
‘It’s so green.’ Kipp shakes his head. ‘Absolutely incredible ... Captain,<br />
d’you think Fusion ever looked like this?’<br />
Attila saunters back to the ship’s control panel. ‘It don’t look like no<br />
pictures of Fusion I’ve ever seen. And I been around a might longer than you,<br />
boy.’<br />
Attila has worked as an S-Class pilot for the Cartier Federal Space<br />
Corporation (CFSC) for most of his life. His wealth of experience has made<br />
space travel a smooth, intuitive process for this trip.<br />
Attila notes Kipp’s disappointment. ‘But, hey, I guess anythin’s possible.<br />
Galaxy’s old as time.’<br />
Kipp smiles, finding comfort in the thought.<br />
With a glance at the navigation grid, Attila confirms they are on the<br />
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Tom O’Connell
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> <strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
correct course. When he is satisfied, his hand glides across the terminal interface,<br />
settling on a small red panel. The landing alert sounds throughout the<br />
ship. He toggles a switch to initiate the landing protocol.<br />
‘Hey!’ says Kipp. ‘Look at that!’<br />
Below, Nasci seems to expand at their approach. From their current<br />
vantage point, it is a green orb with a trio of unremarkable moons. The closer<br />
their ship draws, the more distinct the surface details become.<br />
Still Legacy slowly infiltrates Nasci’s atmosphere. Kipp discerns the<br />
shape and texture of what his data files call ‘flora and fauna’. A rich, leafy canopy<br />
comes into focus. Rocky ravines and sweeping hillsides follow. Kipp spots<br />
a flock of tiny winged creatures foraging beneath a tree. He watches with<br />
admiration, until Still Legacy’s approach frightens them away.<br />
The ship’s boosters perturb the ground below. The trees shudder and<br />
bend, as though conceding an arm wrestle. Kipp steadies himself with the<br />
assistance of the control panel.<br />
Attila takes his place at the head of the group, then turns to address his<br />
crew. ‘Belvrey. Simmons. Head to the crew’s quarters. I want you to round up<br />
the stragglers.’<br />
Simmons raises his hand in salute. ‘And what should I tell them, sir?’<br />
Attila smirks. ‘Tell ’em vacation’s over.’<br />
II<br />
With Attila in command, the Delta Mole thunders out of Still Legacy’s cargo<br />
bay. The Delta Mole is a miner’s-issue industrial tank, with heavy-duty treads<br />
and a self-governing navigational A.I. With Still Legacy’s entire crew on board,<br />
the Delta Mole roars through the jungles of Nasci, steamrolling over rocks and<br />
trees alike.<br />
Inside the Mole, Belvrey has assumed the role of driver. Attila shadows<br />
him, his hands linked behind his back. Attila’s view alternates between the<br />
exterior view and that of his crew — the squabbling, twenty-man microcosm<br />
of Fusion.<br />
Kipp raises his hand to speak.<br />
Simmons glares his way. ‘What the hell is wrong with you, greenhorn?’<br />
he spits. ‘You got something to say, you just say it. This ain’t no goddamned<br />
basic training simulation.’<br />
Kipp bows his head, his cheeks glowing.<br />
58<br />
‘Kid was just bein’ respectful, Simmons,’ Attila interjects. ‘You oughta try<br />
it yourself some time, ’stead of always carryin’ on like a bitch with a bee sting.’<br />
Simmons purses his lips and folds his arms.<br />
Attila grants Kipp permission to speak with a wave of his hand.<br />
‘Sir!’ Kipp is overzealous. He composes himself with a short, heavy<br />
breath. ‘I was wondering what the plan was, sir? There don’t seem to be any<br />
workable mines in this area ...’<br />
Simmons winces at the question.<br />
Attila thrums his fingers along the back of Belvrey’s chair. ‘Kipp, you’ll<br />
find we’ve employed our usual post-landin’ procedure. This here Mole’s<br />
equipped with advanced navigational software. As we speak, Fusion’s satellites<br />
are beamin’ down information to lead us to a shaft.’ Attila gestures to the radar<br />
screen. ‘See that waypoint? That’s where we’re headed.’<br />
‘Ah …’ Kipp says, nodding to himself.<br />
Attila rubs his chin and gazes out the Mole’s porthole. ‘I dunno if you<br />
know this, kid, but Nasci’s a special place. It’s got what you might call a<br />
“planetary consciousness”. That’s the term the scientists have coined for it.<br />
Basically, Nasci’s aware of everything goin’ on across its surface. It even reacts<br />
accordingly.’<br />
Kipp’s mouth hangs open as he considers this thought.<br />
Attila smiles. ‘Don’t worry — planet ain’t hostile. What it does is, it<br />
regenerates itself. Can do it in a real short space of time, too. That’s why we’re<br />
just mowin’ down all these trees, y’see? Next time we’re down here, they’ll<br />
have grown back, good as new. Remarkable shit, really.’<br />
Kipp’s eyes widen. ‘Yeah,’ he says, finally. ‘Remarkable. A planet that can<br />
endlessly renew its own resources ...’<br />
Belvrey chimes in. ‘Captain, five minutes ’til approach.’<br />
Attila gives him a sardonic thumbs up. ‘Kip, there’s one other thing. Even<br />
though it can renew itself, Nasci still deserves our respect. We’re used to life<br />
on Fusion, where everything’s run by man and his machines. But things are<br />
different here.’ Attila locks eyes with Kipp. ‘On Fusion, we’re used to productivity<br />
and efficiency — brought up to think “take, take, take”. But we’re guests<br />
here on Nasci, so there’s rules. Fusion’s like one giant factory that we jus’ happen<br />
to live on. Sure, it’s a glowin’ example of everything man can achieve, but<br />
it also lacks what I call soul.’<br />
The crew rolled their eyes at yet another of Attila’s ‘new age rants’. Kipp,<br />
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<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> <strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
however, gets a giddy thrill from his theories. He has never heard anyone<br />
malign Fusion before. To him, Attila is a brazen heretic.<br />
‘Trust me, Kipp,’ Attila continues, ‘I’ve bin around. Spent most of my<br />
time out here, in transit. Gives a man clarity, y’know? Perspective. See, to the<br />
people of Fusion, Nasci ain’t nothin’ but an overgrown wasteland. The only<br />
people who can stand to live there are the hut-dwelling Cali.’<br />
‘The Cali?’ Kipp asks.<br />
Simmons, still listening in, slaps the heel of his hand to his temple.<br />
‘Yeah. The Cali are a peaceful tribe who help maintain the natural order<br />
on Nasci.’<br />
Kipp cannot believe this. How did he not know there were natives living<br />
on Nasci? ‘Do you think we’ll run into any while we’re here?’<br />
Attila smirks. ‘It’s possible, kid. Entirely possible ...’<br />
A moment of silence passes. Then something occurs to Kipp. ‘Are the<br />
Cali okay with us mining their planet for ore?’<br />
‘Boy, I couldn’t tell you,’ Attila says with a shrug. ‘They’ve seen us doin’ it<br />
before and … uh … nothin’s ever really come of it. They don’t seem to like confrontation.<br />
We just keep our distance, and they keep theirs. Live and let live.’<br />
‘Captain,’ Belvrey interrupts. ‘We’ve arrived at the site. Locals call it<br />
“Marné Polecheia” — Devil’s Hearth.’<br />
Attila flashes Kipp a look that lets him know question time is over. It’s<br />
time to for them to get to work.<br />
III<br />
The Still Legacy’s crew separate into three teams. Each establishes an excavation<br />
site and, working from one of three points of entry, attempts to infiltrate<br />
the catacombs below. Each miner is equipped with sophisticated tunneling<br />
tools — the very best Fusion and the CFSC can provide.<br />
Team Alpha farms the base of a huge crater, which is the resulting<br />
damage from a meteor strike. Team Bravo — containing Attila and Belvrey<br />
— penetrates the planet’s surface with the Delta Mole’s large drill. And Team<br />
Charlie — with Simmons and Kipp — sets to work down a pre-existing tunnel,<br />
the entrance of which had been blocked by natural disasters. Each of their<br />
sensors indicates that there is a noticeable spike in mineral ore readings here.<br />
The men labour on into the night.<br />
60<br />
When Kipp emerges, he slings his hardhat to the ground, greedily inhales<br />
the fresh surface air, then collapses by the open fire. The CFSC adrenaline<br />
shots have allowed them to work for a long stretch. But now that the effect<br />
has subsided, exhaustion creeps up on them and the miners fall into a sort of<br />
involuntary stasis.<br />
Kipp is buzzing: his first mining shift is over. His older brother had gotten<br />
him this gig and, with plenty to prove, he’d accepted. He has so much to<br />
reflect upon.<br />
But right now, he is dog-tired. He crawls over to the camp. The moment<br />
he lays down, he blacks out.<br />
Kipp’s eyes flicker open.<br />
Daylight.<br />
He sits up and looks around. It’s unbearable: every muscle in his body<br />
aches. He tries to stand, taking short, quick breaths as he does so. But he falls<br />
on his arse. He would laugh if it wasn’t so painful. He looks around. The rest<br />
of the crew are already up and prepping for work.<br />
‘Mornin’, greenhorn,’ Belvrey smiles.<br />
Kipp lifts a finger in acknowledgement. His face betrays him and he<br />
winces.<br />
Belvrey laughs. ‘Welcome to your second day of real work. Don’t worry —<br />
that pain means you’re doin’ it right.’ Belvrey reaches into his pack and pulls<br />
out a small canister. ‘Here.’ He throws it to Kipp. ‘Take one of these.’<br />
Kipp rattles the tin. He flicks it open, popping a pill into his open palm.<br />
It’s a struggle just to bring his hand to his lips. He fixates on the task, shuts his<br />
eyes, then swallows.<br />
The pain falls away. A pleasant numbness settles over him. He exhales,<br />
climbs to his feet.<br />
Belvrey smiles. ‘Good shit, ain’t it?’<br />
‘Not bad,’ Kipp laughs.<br />
Attila approaches, geared up and ready for work. He eyes Kipp up and<br />
down. ‘Come on, sunshine. We’re waitin’ on ya. Get your shit together and let’s<br />
go.’<br />
Kipp salutes him and rounds up his belongings. He is beginning to get<br />
the routine.<br />
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<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> <strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
IV<br />
Simmons leads Team Charlie to the entry point. Yesterday, they laid the<br />
groundwork tunnels; today, they farm for minerals. The light from Simmons’s<br />
hardhat torch points the way. They lower themselves deeper into the yawning<br />
chasm.<br />
Kipp is the first to speak. ‘Don’t you guys find it strange that this tunnel<br />
was already here when we first arrived?’<br />
Simmons maintains his pace. ‘What do ya mean, kid?’<br />
‘Well,’ Kipp swallows, bracing for their backlash, ‘I’ve been thinking<br />
about the entryway we used yesterday ... It was obvious it had been used<br />
before.’<br />
‘Why the hell would you think that? Took us an hour to laser through<br />
them boulders. They were blocking the opening, remember?’<br />
‘Yeah ... I know ... but … ’ Kipp struggles to articulate his theory. ‘It’s just<br />
that — apart from those boulders — it seemed like a pre-existing tunnel. And<br />
— and if that’s the case, well, why was it blocked off?’<br />
Simmons stops and regards Kipp face-to-face. He’s close enough for Kipp<br />
to smell the menthol on his breath. ‘Well, ’cause of the damn elements. Some<br />
sort of rockfall put them boulders there, didn’t it?’<br />
Kipp holds his breath, gnaws at the inside of his gum. ‘Maybe ... but I<br />
don’t think so ... ’<br />
Simmons takes a deep, dramatic breath, wrestling his temper to defeat.<br />
‘Then what do you think, Mr Conspiracy Theorist?’<br />
All the members of Team Charlie focus on Kipp.<br />
‘You’re gonna think I’m crazy, but … ’ Kipp swallows the lump in his<br />
throat ‘… I think someone blocked this shaft for a reason. I — I think they’re<br />
trying to keep us out.’<br />
‘Move it, Kipp!’ Simmons shouts, yanking on his cable. ‘We have to meet the<br />
Corp’s quota if we expect to get paid.’<br />
Kipp crawls through the narrow passage. ‘I’m going!’ His movement is<br />
slow and stilted; he is unsure of this whole operation.<br />
Simmons and five other miners tail him. They shuffle through the tunnel<br />
at an experienced pace.<br />
‘Really, sir, I saw them ... ’<br />
‘Boy, you better shut the hell up with all of them ghost stories!’<br />
62<br />
Simmons’s voice echoes through the tunnel. Kipp shudders. ‘I’m tellin’ ya, no<br />
one but you saw the Cali. And you’ve already spooked yourself half to death<br />
with all your stupid theories! Clearly, it was just ya mind playing tricks.’<br />
Kipp considers what Simmons is saying. It’s certainly possible. But he<br />
thinks he will try one more time to convince his team. After all, the worst<br />
that could happen is that he holds everyone up and opens himself up to more<br />
ridicule. If he’s right, though, he could be saving all of their lives. He just can’t<br />
shake the feeling that something about this tunnel is wrong.<br />
‘Okay, I get all that, Simmons. But Attila told me the Cali are kinda like<br />
Nasci’s guardians. They watch out for its wellbeing. I’m sure I saw someone —<br />
maybe from their tribe — spying on us from the undergrowth ...’<br />
Simmons clenches his fists, his blood boiling. ‘You’re lucky we’re in<br />
this tunnel, kid! I’m getting real sick of this. We checked the surrounding<br />
area! There was no signs that the Cali had ever been there! No footprints, no<br />
upturned rocks ... no nothin’!’<br />
‘But they know Nasci inside out! Of course they wouldn’t leave any evidence<br />
of their presence!’<br />
The floodgates open. Simmons clutches Kipp’s ankle and yanks him<br />
backwards. ‘That’s it, kid! I will not have you undermine my authori—’<br />
‘Captain!’ It’s Zach, another member of Charlie Team. ‘Look at this!’ He<br />
gestures to the ground in front of him.<br />
‘What is it?’<br />
‘It looks like ... ’ He smacks the ground beneath him with his open palm.<br />
It makes a heavy thud. He does the same to the ground ahead. ‘Yeah, just as I<br />
thought — it’s hollow.’<br />
‘Hollow?’ Simmons is beyond frustrated. ‘So? Just what the hell are<br />
you—’<br />
Zach whacks his closed fist against the false ground. It crumbles. He<br />
repeats the action, this time a little firmer, and the ground begins to fall away<br />
in large chunks.<br />
Kipp struggles to see from his position. ‘It’s got to be some kind of<br />
chamber!’<br />
Simmons grins. ‘Could be the Cali’s treasure vault! Everybody: turn<br />
around — we’re going into the chamber.’<br />
Team Charlie explores the room below. Kipp studies the strange wall<br />
63
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> <strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
markings. Zach and the other men poke around, searching for other hidden<br />
cavities. Simmons, drunk on the idea that something valuable is buried there,<br />
considers the promotion he’s convinced he deserves.<br />
The chamber is dim and expansive. It is considerably wider than the<br />
narrow tunnels they passed through earlier. The dank odour of mildew rises<br />
from the earth around them. To all of them, it smells like the stench of death,<br />
though no one openly acknowledges this. The only light comes from their<br />
torches, and a glowing trickle of what appears to be phosphorus.<br />
‘Simmons!’ Kipp’s voice reverberates through the crypt. ‘I don’t think we<br />
should be here. These markings ... they must be from the Cali. I think they’re<br />
warnings.’<br />
‘Boy, I’m getting real tired of this.’ A grin spreads across his face — the<br />
mark of self-righteousness. ‘In fact, I’ve decided it’s in our best interests to<br />
purge you from this team. The second this shift’s over, I’m nominating you for<br />
a transfer. You can sully one of the other teams.’<br />
Kipp sighs, accepting the hopelessness of the situation.<br />
Zach approaches Kipp. From over his shoulder, Zach examines the Cali<br />
markings. ‘Hey … ’ he whispers. ‘I — I’m on your side. I believe you. I got a bad<br />
feeling ’bout being down here.’ He forces a laugh. ‘Call it miner’s intuition ... ’<br />
Kipp’s heart leaps in his chest. To him, Zach’s words are a confirmation:<br />
Team Charlie is trifling with things that don’t concern them. ‘What can we<br />
do? Simmons doesn’t care about anything but uncovering damned treasure.’<br />
Zach gives a half-smile. ‘Look, I don’t think we need to worry. He’ll get<br />
bored once he realises there ain’t nothing here.’<br />
‘What makes you think nothing’s here?’<br />
‘Oh, something’s here. I’m absolutely sure of it ... You see these markings?’<br />
Zach gestures to the Cali’s graffiti. ‘They’re like cave drawings. I believe<br />
this, here,’ he points to the hexagonal splash of paint, ‘represents this room ...’<br />
Kipp nods. ‘Yes! You’re right ... And this,’ he runs his finger along the<br />
wall, ‘seems to suggest there’s a hidden cavity. And these — these are definitely<br />
Cali warriors. Look at their expressions! They’re frightened. Terrified, even.<br />
Something’s sealed in here. I’d bet my life on it.’<br />
Zach raises his finger to his lips. ‘I — I know where that is ... That hidden<br />
cavity? I found it earlier.’ Zach draws Kipp to his size, their backs to the<br />
others. ‘It’s in the corner of the chamber, sealed by a rusted metal grate. No<br />
one knows about it but me. But I’ve covered it up. If we keep quiet, no one’ll<br />
64<br />
find it. Simmons will give up eventually. He’s hardly the most patient—’ Zach<br />
stops.<br />
‘Who needs patience,’ a voice cuts in, ‘when you guys’ve got such stellar<br />
detective skills?’<br />
Kipp spins around. It’s Simmons.<br />
‘We—’<br />
‘Save it. When we get back to the surface, both of you will be up for performance<br />
reviews. “Dishonourable discharge” sound good to you?’ Simmons<br />
rolls his head and cracks his neck. He is still smiling. ‘Now, show me where<br />
this grate is, and don’t even bother trying to stuff me around — no one’s leaving<br />
until I say so.’<br />
* * *<br />
65
Dog Tags<br />
Bernard O’Connor<br />
One day you want to wake<br />
And throw yourself<br />
Down the stairs.<br />
You feel so chippy you<br />
Lean<br />
Over the edge<br />
And you want to<br />
Jump; hope that the wind<br />
Holds you up.<br />
Skipping on a bridge, hope we<br />
Fall and submerge<br />
Beneath the damned concrete<br />
Of the world.<br />
Sink below and find<br />
Atlantis beneath our pale feet.<br />
Be in the middle of an<br />
Atomic Bomb<br />
And see the Godly light.<br />
67<br />
Gabrielle Balatinacz<br />
Happy Superman
High Notes<br />
Veronica Bauer<br />
Like Venus, on an Oyster Shell,<br />
A Pagan Maid, Alexandrite,<br />
Philosophy she teaches well ...<br />
She’s learnt her Trade and Science while<br />
The Empire balanced Left and Right<br />
Like Venus, on an Oyster Shell.<br />
Her Father Theon thinks she’s swell:<br />
‘These Chapters did my Daughter write—<br />
Philosophy she teaches well!’<br />
She’s quiet, mathematical,<br />
Whilst Governor and Bishop fight;<br />
So Venus, on an Oyster Shell.<br />
‘Love you my Beauty, or my Smell?’<br />
She sets a Love-struck Student right—<br />
Philosophy she teaches well.<br />
At Hands of Christian Mob she fell:<br />
‘Let’s strip her, straight to Hell tonight<br />
Like Venus, on an Oyster Shell—<br />
Philosophy she teaches well.’<br />
69<br />
Norman Jensen<br />
Hypatia of Alexandria<br />
(Venus Transit)<br />
(Villanelle)
Rhine Valley Castle<br />
S.L. Higgins<br />
Beside the flooded Danube’s Shore,<br />
oppressed by Huns and Alans, we,<br />
the humble Gothic Folk, implore<br />
the Roman Emperor’s Decree:<br />
the Status of a Refugee ...<br />
They’ll let us cross! There’s Work, they say.<br />
Our Wives and Children will be free—<br />
for Empire, what’s the Price to pay?<br />
Now crossed, at Marcianople’s Door,<br />
the Romans feel our Misery—<br />
they will sell us some Dogmeat for<br />
our Sons to live in Slavery ...<br />
But Fritigern, our Chief, breaks free,<br />
proclaims there is another Way;<br />
we’ll arm ourselves with Banditry;<br />
for Empire, what’s the Price to pay?<br />
Near Adrianople, the Emperor<br />
(who hunts us down, eventually)<br />
shows us his Legions, score and more ...<br />
Such Pity that he doesn’t see<br />
our Hun and Alan Cavalry!<br />
(It’s now a different Game we play.)<br />
We set that Emperor’s Spirit free ...<br />
For Empire, what’s the Price to pay?<br />
Envoi<br />
Their Emperors come fast and free;<br />
the latest one has said he’ll pray<br />
for us to join the Military—<br />
for Empire, what’s the Price to pay?<br />
71<br />
Norman Jensen<br />
For the Price of a Dead Dog<br />
BATTLE OF ADRIANOPLE, 9 AUGUST 378 C.E.<br />
(Ballade)
And They Shall Weep<br />
Anne Bowman<br />
Ben stretched. I followed suit. We both had slightly sore lower backs from<br />
sitting in the car for so long. We arched our backs, like cats in the sun, and<br />
looked out over the white-flecked ocean.<br />
It’d been a pleasant drive. One hour on the road, then Devonshire tea<br />
at Caldermeade Farm. Ben loved the freshly whipped cream on the scones. I<br />
gave him one of my scones so that he could use up both our portions of jam.<br />
Not good for his diet, but his weight-loss surgery wasn’t for another couple of<br />
weeks.<br />
It was another hour and a bit before we arrived at Cassandra and<br />
Norton’s. They welcomed us in their usual country way. Her elderly parents<br />
couldn’t get over how much weight I’d lost; her dad couldn’t believe it was me.<br />
Some days, I can’t believe I’m me, so I knew what he meant.<br />
Then, lunch with the whole Kennedy clan in one of the local cafés.<br />
Twelve of us, all chatting and catching up. Little Sharmaine kept cadging<br />
two-dollar coins from us for the Barney the Dinosaur ride in the arcade. For a<br />
child who’d received blood transfusions in utero just two years before, she was<br />
doing remarkably well.<br />
Ben and I had been given leave to spend the afternoon on our own, but<br />
were under strict instructions to be back for dinner at 6.30pm. We’d been<br />
promised roast lamb and veggies. Ben kept checking the clock on his iPhone<br />
to make sure we wouldn’t be late. There was no way on God’s greenest earth<br />
that he would be late for a dinner like that.<br />
Ben can be a bit of a rebel without a clue. The drive down had been<br />
spiced up a number of times when his hand lingered on my leg, his fingers<br />
brushing my crotch. I would turn to him and smile and he would look at me<br />
blankly and say in a bad Cockney accent: ‘Wot?’<br />
We’d driven down the cape road and gotten out to stretch our legs. I had<br />
been uncomfortably hard in my jeans and concealed myself behind the car so<br />
I could make some adjustments. Ben just flashed me a toothy, knowing smile<br />
and I felt a warmth in my cheeks. I felt very lucky. Lucky to have a boyfriend.<br />
Lucky to have a boyfriend who was, well, just so damned nice. Lucky to be able<br />
to get away for the weekend. Lucky to be sharing it with him.<br />
We got back in the car and drove down near the surf club. We pulled in<br />
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<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> <strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
just before it, staying away from the crowds at the newly built canteen. Our little<br />
grassy area was quiet; sun-dappled and warm. We took our shoes off, rolled<br />
up our jeans and walked down to the beach. The ocean glittered before us. A<br />
cool breeze ruffled his hair. This was no mean feat, considering the amount<br />
of product he used to control it. We wandered over to a wooden bench to sit<br />
down. Instead of sitting, he lay himself on the bench and put his head on my<br />
lap, ready for a nap.<br />
‘Wot?’ he said.<br />
I just smiled. I sat in the sun and took off my glasses. In the shade cast<br />
by my upper body, he started to breathe deeply. It was one of those perfect<br />
moments when everything is quiet and still. You frame moments like these for<br />
the years to come.<br />
He rolled over, then back onto his side, but I could tell it was getting too<br />
hot for him. I suggested we go and put down a blanket under the trees, so we<br />
walked back to the car. I took the two brightly coloured rubber-backed blankets<br />
from the boot and spread them out on the grass beside the car. He got his<br />
jacket to put under his head, and I got my backpack to put under mine.<br />
He started playing the soundtrack to Downton Abbey on the speakers<br />
of his iPhone. The sound of the piano rolled in time with the waves from<br />
the beach. He snuggled in along the length of my body and his breathing<br />
deepened.<br />
I looked up at the patches of blue sky and the white meandering clouds.<br />
A bird flew across the treetops. Another one started a gentle mocking echo of<br />
the piano. I thought to myself: I could say it now.<br />
I had made such a fuss about Valentine’s Day the previous week. Dinner<br />
out, and a large bottle of fancy cologne for him from his ‘To Buy for Myself<br />
Sometime’ list. And a nice card, which had taken ages to find, that said how<br />
much I valued what we had and how much he meant to me. It stopped short,<br />
though, of those three simple words. I just wasn’t ready to say it yet. I wasn’t<br />
sure when I would be. I wanted it to mean something.<br />
His card had been signed ‘Love, Ben’. Damn it: he’d said — or at least<br />
written — it first!<br />
But I thought that this might be what it is. Sharing a journey with<br />
someone. Flirting on the drive. Singing along to Katy Perry on the car stereo.<br />
Both of us laughing at me for almost getting us lost. Again. Eating ice cream.<br />
Walking in the sand. Lying on the bench next to the surf. Lying on a blanket<br />
74<br />
next to the beach, entwined, not caring who was looking at us. This could be<br />
what it is. This could be what it means. Sharing your life with someone, relaxing<br />
with them.<br />
‘I think I love you,’ I said quietly, then held my breath.<br />
He took my hand in his and kissed the back of it, lingering for a<br />
moment.<br />
‘One, four, three,’ he said.<br />
Pause.<br />
‘Um, what?’<br />
‘Take what you just said and count the letters,’ he patiently explained.<br />
I: one. Love: four. You: three.<br />
One, four, three.<br />
Very clever, I thought, and smiled.<br />
He snuggled in closer. I couldn’t see his eyes because of his sunglasses,<br />
but I could just make out the relaxed smile on his face. I closed my eyes and<br />
drifted. The music from his phone swelled in time with the ocean. And with<br />
my heart.<br />
75
Short-Lived<br />
Veronica Bauer<br />
It was our first Boxing Day in a new country and we were visibly excited. We<br />
were told that the place we were going shopping was so massive that it would<br />
be tiring just going from shop to shop. A chocolate cake was baked to counter<br />
any hunger pangs and we also made sure there were sufficient fluids on board.<br />
This was followed by a marathon brainstorming session, the end product of<br />
which was a list of things to buy.<br />
Chadstone Shopping Centre was earmarked as our Happy Hunting<br />
Ground, as it was flooded with heavily discounted goods. Once the chocolate<br />
cake had been carefully encased in an airtight container, we set out on the<br />
journey. We were chauffeured by our cousin, who had an extensive knowledge<br />
of the place casually referred to as ‘Chaddy’.<br />
Our destination was about an hour away and the sight of the chocolate<br />
cake in the container proved too hard to resist, so we started nibbling. Our<br />
cousin was worried he would miss out if he didn’t find somewhere to pull over.<br />
We were running late, though, so we assured him that we’d set him aside a<br />
piece. The container was now in the safe custody of my cousin’s wife, who —<br />
going by nuptial vows — was the only person my cousin could trust.<br />
Upon reaching Chadstone, we began a lengthy search for a parking spot,<br />
which would only conclude after scaling the entire Mount Car Park — or, as<br />
the sign read, ‘Multi-level car park’. Our cousin split us into two teams; my<br />
wife, myself and our fourteen-month-old daughter were to remain confined to<br />
a shop of our choice, while my cousin and his wife explored this jungle full of<br />
bargains and bargain hunters.<br />
We were overwhelmed by the mad rush of the masses; the joy and anticipation<br />
we’d felt had vanished. Boxing Day had turned into a boxing ring!<br />
Customers were competing against each other and salesmen were rewarding<br />
them with their best deals. Never in our lives had we had such an understanding<br />
of the term ‘survival of the fittest’.<br />
My wife and I barricaded ourselves inside our chosen shop. The clueless<br />
expressions on our faces made us sitting ducks. It wasn’t long before the<br />
shop attendant, armed with a smile on his face, saw us and pounced. He took<br />
us through aisles of heavily discounted clothing and, after a few minutes of<br />
intense scrutiny, we realised that even with all the price reductions, buying<br />
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Rattanbir Dhariwal<br />
Boxing Day
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong><br />
those clothes would move our coffers to bankruptcy and our family to tears.<br />
We decided to call in our cousin, the wise shopper that he was, to rescue<br />
us. But to our horror — and to the shop attendant’s delight — there was no<br />
mobile signal in the shop. Even Vodafone seemed to be conspiring against us.<br />
With the shop attendant hovering over us like a satellite, it didn’t take long for<br />
us to buckle under the pressure and withdraw our wallets.<br />
Then we heard a voice that was like music to our ears: it was our cousin,<br />
back from his shopping expedition, bringing news of the better offers that<br />
awaited us in other shops.<br />
We bid adieu to the cunning shop attendant, grateful that God was still<br />
around to heed our prayers!<br />
78<br />
Dresden Palace<br />
Bernard O’Connor
S.L. Higgins<br />
Orpheus and Eurydice<br />
A severed head bobs<br />
slowly<br />
down the river.<br />
The question<br />
‘What went wrong?’<br />
rolls around<br />
inside.<br />
His life<br />
flashes through his mind;<br />
his eyes focus on his body,<br />
sprawled<br />
along the river bank.<br />
Walking down the aisle,<br />
her face is<br />
graced with a smile,<br />
she waits to meet her groom.<br />
Her train sways with her glide;<br />
when they meet,<br />
her hands are enclosed in his.<br />
His wife rests on a stone tablet.<br />
She has lain there for days.<br />
He watches.<br />
Death doesn’t take her beauty.<br />
A snake bite, her only blemish;<br />
he can’t see through his grief.<br />
80<br />
He lives on,<br />
ignorant of the world surrounding him,<br />
wallowing in<br />
self-pity.<br />
He denies the world its pleasures;<br />
he’s consumed by his want,<br />
his need.<br />
He knows how to do it.<br />
He knows how to get her back.<br />
He just needs to make a deal —<br />
a deal with the god<br />
of the Underworld.<br />
A journey though the Underworld;<br />
he charms all those he meets.<br />
With his lyre,<br />
he charms Cerberus,<br />
Hades’s three-headed hound,<br />
and Charon,<br />
the ferryman of the River Styx.<br />
He makes his way through.<br />
He plies the god with his music.<br />
The deal is made;<br />
her life will be spared.<br />
All he needs<br />
is to not look back,<br />
to fight the<br />
urge to look upon her.<br />
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<strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> <strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
He finds her.<br />
She would follow his lead.<br />
He walks ahead, mindful<br />
of his steps,<br />
in case she falters behind.<br />
They traverse each plain,<br />
walking over smooth grass,<br />
cobble stones and rocky, unpaved roads.<br />
Upwards and upwards,<br />
they walk.<br />
He doesn’t know<br />
if they are going the right way,<br />
or if their fate will be to circle<br />
the Underworld<br />
for eternity.<br />
Something shines ahead.<br />
Light<br />
from the outside?<br />
An opening.<br />
He steps over the dividing rock.<br />
He blinks back the sunlight.<br />
He breathes in the fresh air.<br />
He waits for her to reach for his hand.<br />
He waits longer still.<br />
She never clasps his hand.<br />
He turns to<br />
look for her.<br />
He shouldn’t have.<br />
82<br />
She smiles<br />
as Hades drags her back<br />
towards the Underworld.<br />
He’s pulled from his reverie.<br />
The Thracian Maenads<br />
pay worship to Dionysus.<br />
He remembers his death.<br />
Painful.<br />
He was ripped to shreds<br />
by women worshipping a god.<br />
His head travels down the Hebrus,<br />
his lyre floating beside it.<br />
His mouth spills mournful songs;<br />
his destination: Lesbos.<br />
The Greeks hear the<br />
solemn melody<br />
and carry<br />
his head<br />
to Antissa;<br />
they build him a shrine<br />
and bury his head.<br />
The gods see his lyre,<br />
still floating in the river.<br />
They take it to the heavens.<br />
and transform it<br />
into a star.<br />
83
Jodie Garth<br />
Leaf it Alone<br />
‘Brendan!’ Mum’s voice rang through the house.<br />
‘Mu-um!’ I yelled back, equally as loud.<br />
Silence. I knew this scenario. Mum’s silence meant ‘Come here when I<br />
call you. I’m not going to yell again and I’m not going to come chasing after<br />
you.’ It was the first day of the school holidays and she was giving me things to<br />
do already.<br />
‘Coming!’ I called out as I plucked the new riff I’d been practising.<br />
‘Now!’ Mum again.<br />
I rolled my eyes and exited my bedroom, finding Mum in the kitchen.<br />
She was baking, and a batch of cookies was on a rack, cooling, on the bench. I<br />
reached out to grab one. The dough was hotter and softer than I’d expected it<br />
to be, and the cookie collapsed under my fingers.<br />
‘Ow!’ I exclaimed, shaking my fingers.<br />
Mum gave me her ‘serves you right’ look. ‘You’d be hot too if you just<br />
came out of the oven.’<br />
Parents say the dumbest things sometimes.<br />
‘Go on, take it.’ She waved her hand at the mutilated cookie.<br />
‘You called?’ I asked, shoving pieces of the gooey chocolate into my<br />
mouth.<br />
‘Yes,’ Mum replied. ‘I want you to get rid of the plant.’<br />
Now, we have more than just one plant at my house, but I knew exactly<br />
which one she was talking about. Our back door leads out onto a small<br />
porch and down some stairs. Next to the porch is this plant. It’s got a thickish,<br />
browny-green stalk that stands straight up out of the ground. Amongst<br />
its wide, bright green leaves are thin windy vines, reaching out and curling<br />
around whatever they can get their spindly fingers onto. The plant is so tall<br />
now that its top leaves are higher than the porch and the vines have wrapped<br />
themselves around the handrail. It’s even taller than me when I stand next to<br />
it. None of us have bothered to prune it since we moved here, and it’s now at<br />
the point that even I think it looks ridiculous and should be cut down. Just not<br />
by me.<br />
‘But Mum—’ I protested.<br />
I hate gardening. It’s so bad for guitarists’ hands. You end up with dirt<br />
84<br />
85<br />
<strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
under your nails, and your hands get scratched from twigs and prickly weeds<br />
and bruised from the rake or broom.<br />
She held her hand up. ‘No buts. I’m not having you slacking off around<br />
here for two weeks.’ Mum rinsed her mixing bowl and utensils. ‘I want it<br />
done by the end of the weekend, please. The Green bin is getting collected on<br />
Monday.’<br />
‘Okay,’ I grumbled. I turned to leave, intending to leave the task until<br />
Sunday afternoon.<br />
‘And if I were you,’ she continued, ‘I’d get onto it today. It’s supposed to<br />
rain tomorrow.’<br />
Dang. If there’s one thing I hate more than gardening, it’s gardening in<br />
the rain. Or after the rain. The ground gets sloppy and muddy, and I end up<br />
with bits of twigs and leaves stuck to my skin, making me itchy, and the dirt<br />
gets this yucky ‘wet’ smell.<br />
Looks like today’s the plant’s final day of life.<br />
I went back to my bedroom and my guitar. My room is at the back of<br />
the house, so out of my window I can see the porch and the plant. I picked up<br />
my guitar and strummed it. ‘Oh, plant, I’m coming to get you,’ I sang softly.<br />
I laughed and put my guitar down, glancing out the window. In the gentle<br />
breeze, the plant’s viney fingers looked like they were tightening their grip on<br />
the banister.<br />
I changed into my oldest clothes and headed out to the garage to get<br />
my weapons of destruction. I took a final look at my clean, uninjured hands<br />
before pulling on Dad’s gardening gloves. Armed with gardening tools of<br />
varying shapes and sizes, I went out to meet the plant. I dumped the tools on<br />
the ground then went round the side of the house to get the green waste bin.<br />
I wheeled it back to where the plant was, bent down to tie my shoelace, and<br />
when I stood up, nearly got stabbed in the eye by some secateurs.<br />
I jumped back, guarding my face with my arms. ‘What are you doing?’ I<br />
yelled at the plant. Gripped by its branches was the largest of the secateurs,<br />
the blade directed at me, as the branches moved back and forth, opening and<br />
closing the clippers. It was like a cartoon. Or one of those freaky movies —<br />
you know the ones where a plant comes to life, bursting out of the ground,<br />
clutching innocent people in its grip like a giant octopus. But this was no<br />
movie set. This was my backyard.<br />
In a moment of heroic courage, I grabbed another set of clippers and
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> <strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
decided to take this thing on. As the plant continued to wave its weapon at<br />
me, I waved mine, attempting to knock the secateurs out of its vines, or lop off<br />
some of its branches. It was a pretty good fighter, this thing. The usually rigid<br />
stalk was bending and swaying wildly, with the leaves and branches always<br />
just managing to avoid the snip! of my metal blade. Finally, with a sneaky<br />
movement, I cut through a small clump of leaves. The plant paused for a<br />
moment, then dropped the gardening tool.<br />
‘Ha! Got you!’ I thought, clenching my fist in victory.<br />
It was a short-lived victory.<br />
The viney branches reached out towards me and some wrapped themselves<br />
around my wrists. I shuddered as they made contact with my skin.<br />
Others went for my waist. I waved my arms, trying to free myself from this<br />
mutant plant, as its talons gripped me. With one sudden movement, they<br />
yanked, I yelped, and the plant released its grip, sending me backwards to the<br />
ground. It recoiled into its original position, and I was left sitting on the grass,<br />
my track pants around my ankles.<br />
‘You okay, my friend?’ a voice called out to me.<br />
Oh no. Franco. My next-door neighbour. He’s a nice guy, but now was<br />
not the time for friendly neighbourly interaction.<br />
‘Hey, what you doing with no pants on?’<br />
I turned to see Franco’s face with its crinkly smiling eyes and greying<br />
stubble peering over the fence. My face reddened and I stood quickly, pulling<br />
my pants up and tightening the drawstring. I gave a tentative wave. Franco<br />
chuckled and his face disappeared.<br />
I glared at the plant, which now sat innocently unmoving, as if nothing<br />
had happened. I stomped up the back steps into the house.<br />
Once in my room, I flopped onto my bed, my heart pounding. Did all<br />
that really just happen? I looked down at my track pants. I looked at my wrists<br />
which still had faint red rings around them. I looked over at the window and<br />
jumped, startled. The plant’s branches had stretched over to the window and<br />
were scratching at the glass. My own dumb song from earlier rang in my ears.<br />
‘I’m coming to get you.’ Yes. It did all really happen. We have a psycho plant in<br />
the backyard.<br />
Mum asked me about it over lunch.<br />
‘What were you doing in the yard before?’ she asked.<br />
‘Fighting the plant,’ was my response.<br />
86<br />
‘Well, for all the time you were out there, you certainly didn’t get much of<br />
it cut down.’<br />
I stabbed a cherry tomato with my fork and chomped on it loudly.<br />
I ventured back out into the garden in the afternoon. It was waiting<br />
for me. I had stupidly left the gardening tools within its reach. I laughed to<br />
myself as I thought this. Within its reach. From what I’d seen, anywhere was<br />
within reach for this monstrosity. I’d barely gotten to the bottom of the steps<br />
when it raised its branches, baring the variety of pruning devices I’d left on<br />
the ground.<br />
‘Whoa,’ I said, inching my way towards it. ‘Okay, plant,’ I said slowly. ‘Be<br />
nice. Don’t get angry with me — I’m just doing what my mum told me to do.’<br />
It didn’t move. ‘Put the tools down — that’s a good plant.’<br />
A gardening fork fell to the ground. I looked at the plant suspiciously as<br />
I bent to pick it up. Before I could escape, it lurched forward and snap went<br />
some hedge clippers. I gasped, touching my head and watching in horror as<br />
my fringe fluttered down in front of me.<br />
‘Right, you stupid plant.’ How dare it touch my hair. I stabbed angrily<br />
with the fork. It spat back at me. A lime-green snot-like substance squirted<br />
from its leaves onto my chest and started seeping through my shirt. It smelled<br />
so bad. I cried out in disgust and stormed off to the garage, kicked the door<br />
open and threw the fork onto the floor. I pulled my t-shirt off. The smell was<br />
horrible.<br />
Franco’s face popped up at the fence again. ‘Why the banging around, my<br />
friend?’<br />
I came out from the garage. He grinned. ‘No pants, no shirt.’ He sniffed<br />
and pointed to my shirt, which was rolled up in my hands. ‘You have wild<br />
plant.’<br />
I gave a small smile. ‘Yeah, it is pretty wild.’<br />
‘From Mongolia.’<br />
I shrugged.<br />
‘Wild plant,’ Franco repeated. He gave his usual chuckle and said, ‘You<br />
try to kill it, it try to kill you,’ as if that was a perfectly normal thing for a plant<br />
to do.<br />
I looked at Franco carefully. ‘You know about these plants?’<br />
‘I live here a long time. I know about all your plants.’<br />
Gee, what else is in this yard that I don’t know about?<br />
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‘Don’t worry. You look worried.’ Franco waved his hand. ‘You leave it<br />
alone, it’ll leave you alone. No problemo.’<br />
‘But ... have you seen how big it is? You want me to just let it keep<br />
growing?’<br />
Franco shrugged. ‘It grows, it shrinks. It does what it wants. Leaf it alone.’<br />
He looked at me with his serious dark eyes, then couldn’t help himself and let<br />
out a raucous laugh. ‘Leaf it alone!’<br />
I had to smile. ‘Okay. Thanks, Franco.’<br />
‘You’re welcome, my friend.’ He was gone again.<br />
The plant looked back to normal as I tiptoed back up the stairs into the<br />
house.<br />
Mum came into the bathroom just as I was finishing shaving my head.<br />
What had been left of my hair looked like a mullet. All my hard work in growing<br />
my hair had gone to waste.<br />
Mum raised her eyebrows. ‘Finally having a haircut?’<br />
‘Yeah.’<br />
Mum grinned. ‘Gardening and cutting your hair in the one day? Who are<br />
you and what have you done with my son?’ She laughed at her pathetic joke.<br />
‘Ha ha, Mum.’ I put my razor away and brushed my hand over my fuzzy<br />
head.<br />
‘Thanks for getting rid of the plant,’ Mum said, leaning on the<br />
doorframe.<br />
‘Well...’ I began. ‘It’s not actually gone.’<br />
She gave me a funny look. ‘What do you mean? Isn’t that what you’ve<br />
been out there doing?’<br />
‘I tried to cut it, but—’<br />
Mum didn’t let me finish. She snapped. ‘Brendan, I give you one simple<br />
task to do, and you can’t even do that.’<br />
‘Mum—’<br />
‘I don’t want to hear it.’ She stormed out. A moment later I heard the<br />
back door slam.<br />
I started to follow her, but then thought better of it. Instead, I hurried to<br />
my bedroom, pulled back the curtains just enough to peep out of, and waited<br />
for the show to begin.<br />
88<br />
With 5% Juice<br />
Emma McVinish
Bronwyn Lovell<br />
Phylogeny<br />
It’s those little animal sounds we make<br />
while fucking and eating — a casual<br />
swish of saliva, a gentle flick<br />
of the tongue.<br />
Our civilised mouths are quick to close in<br />
on those primal spasms — to muffle<br />
the creaking of rusty cages keeping<br />
chaos from our heads.<br />
Wilder wants are whipped and chained<br />
while tiny zookeepers zip round our brains<br />
chasing the synapses that fire too fast<br />
to be human.<br />
We wince against our devolution — so damn<br />
terrified a snarl or howl might rip out<br />
of our mouths and run away<br />
with our wits.<br />
90<br />
Last Peek<br />
Emma McVinish
Bronwyn Lovell Helen Krionas<br />
Mending<br />
Today I mended a dress<br />
with silver needle and blue<br />
thread, and I felt proud —<br />
somehow wholesome.<br />
The stitches were rough —<br />
crooked at best, which I didn’t<br />
mind; liked, in fact,<br />
for their character.<br />
Stepping out in the fabric<br />
with its cottage garden blooms,<br />
I knew the straps would not slide<br />
from the cliffs of my shoulders.<br />
And I felt capable.<br />
I was now self-made.<br />
I felt stitched together<br />
by my own hand.<br />
92 93<br />
Stroke<br />
A shrill whistle echoed across the fifty-metre pool. Will stopped swimming<br />
mid-stroke. He bobbed to the surface, removing his goggles. He blinked water<br />
out of his eyes; his coach came into focus, poolside. Robert looked the same as<br />
he did every morning before dawn: annoyed and dishevelled.<br />
‘Not bad, Will — think you shaved a bit off your breaststroke split,’ he<br />
said, trying not to sound too pleased. ‘Keep this up and you might top your<br />
PB.’<br />
Will nodded, pinching water from his nose.<br />
‘Wish I could say the same for your little mate, here,’ Robert went on.<br />
He marched around to the blocks at the head of the pool. ‘You’re killing me,<br />
Nathan,’ he declared, ‘I don’t know why you bother turning up here when you<br />
don’t seem to give a crap.’<br />
Nathan, who had been leaning over a lane rope, threw his arms up in<br />
protest. ‘I was doing a two-beat kick, like you asked!’<br />
‘Yeah, but your timing was way out. You need to pay attention when I<br />
talk, mate. And drop your hips a little — I don’t want to see your rear-end<br />
above the water again, got it?’<br />
Nathan nodded, like he’d heard it all before. ‘Anything else?’<br />
‘Yeah,’ Robert snapped. ‘Tomorrow you come here clean-shaven. You<br />
want to be the best?’ The coach pointed to Will, his star apprentice. ‘Take a<br />
leaf out of his book.’<br />
Nathan scratched at his three-day growth as Robert stomped off. Will<br />
swam over to his friend. ‘Break time?’ he suggested.<br />
They climbed out of the pool, legs unsteady, thighs burning. Their<br />
belongings were strewn across a bench and two plastic picnic chairs. Some of<br />
the girls from the AIS had arrived and dumped their own bags alongside the<br />
boys’. Will pulled on his windbreaker and sat down. He peeled open a banana<br />
and downed it in two bites.<br />
One of the girls waved at Will. He smiled back.<br />
Nathan had a gleam in his eye. Will knew instantly that a prank was on<br />
the horizon, and watched as Nathan scoped out his first victim.<br />
‘This could be hilarious …’ he said to himself. Nathan was a hulking figure,<br />
all bronzed skin and muscle, yet he had a boyish face that charmed even
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> <strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
the biggest cynic. He could get away with anything.<br />
Will could see him waiting for the opportune moment. Nathan slid open<br />
Emily Hartford’s bag and slipped a pair of pink goggles out. He stowed them<br />
under one of his towels. He zipped the bag closed; it looked as though nobody<br />
had touched it.<br />
Will couldn’t help feeling uncomfortable. ‘Dude, you know how she is<br />
about those goggles.’ A smile grew on his face in spite of himself. ‘She’s really<br />
superstitious.’<br />
‘She’ll get over it, when I give them back.’<br />
‘I’m telling you, she’s gonna lose it.’<br />
‘I know!’ Nathan said, giddy with excitement. ‘It’s so funny when her face<br />
goes all red and she starts breathing through her nose ... ’<br />
Nathan was part-way through a nasty but comical impersonation when<br />
Emily strolled over.<br />
‘What’s this?’ she asked of their collective wheezing (Nathan’s was part<br />
of his impression, but Will’s was due to being doubled over with laughter).<br />
‘What did I miss?’<br />
‘Nothing, babe. Just guy-talk,’ Nathan said, playing with one of his stray<br />
curls.<br />
‘Yeah, right,’ Emily said wryly. She slipped off her thongs, tucked them<br />
into her bag and began rummaging for her now-missing goggles.<br />
Nathan shot Will a gleeful look while holding up a finger, warning Will<br />
not to distract Emily from her pursuit. It took three more seconds for Emily’s<br />
search to become frantic. Half a second later — Will was especially conscious<br />
of elapsing time — she spun around to face Nathan. Will wasn’t surprised to<br />
note that Nathan had described her angry face to a tee.<br />
‘Give ’em,’ she said, extending an open hand to him.<br />
‘What?’ He gave an innocent sniff.<br />
‘Give me back my lucky goggles or I will seriously rethink this whole<br />
being-your-girlfriend thing.’<br />
Will could hear the anger in her voice now. He purposely avoided her<br />
gaze.<br />
Nathan shrugged. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’<br />
Emily seemed to struggle with herself for a moment. ‘You are insufferable,’<br />
she muttered. Nathan feigned offence. Emily shifted her attention to<br />
Will. ‘And you should know better than to let him do this kind of thing.’ Will<br />
94<br />
hung his head. ‘Now, where are they?’<br />
There was a beat.<br />
‘Under his towels,’ Will said in a low voice.<br />
Nathan exhaled impatiently.<br />
Emily retrieved her goggles. She glared at Nathan. Then, in a matter-offact<br />
tone: ‘You can fuck your hand for the next six weeks.’ With that, Emily<br />
strapped on her goggles and jumped into the pool. Nathan watched her with a<br />
frown.<br />
‘I told you it was a bad idea!’ Will picked up his headphones. ‘Her dad<br />
gave her those goggles before he died. You just can’t help yourself, can you?’<br />
Nathan cocked his head to one side. ‘Depends on what I want.’<br />
Robert emerged from the office. ‘Ten minutes, boys!’<br />
Will flicked his iPod on and focussed on the water in front of him.<br />
Nathan was one of those guys who got whatever he wanted, often with little<br />
effort. William Stephen Miller? Well … he was not one of those guys.<br />
Four gold, one silver and two bronze medals, over three Olympics. That was<br />
what Will had to thank for his enormous house. ‘House’, in fact, was too humble<br />
a word. It was actually a mansion worth over two million dollars. Kind of<br />
a waste, really, considering he really only slept there. The rest of his time was<br />
spent sweating at the gym, arguing with his coach and — of course — swimming<br />
thousands of laps.<br />
Will thought about this — his non-existent social life — while his<br />
mother buzzed around, cooking their dinner. The kitchen was open-plan,<br />
with mirror-finish black cabinets and a TV built into the fridge. Will sat at the<br />
counter, the smell of bolognaise sauce distracting him from the homework on<br />
his laptop.<br />
It was Will’s parents who had convinced him to get a degree. At twentyseven,<br />
his swimming days were drawing to an undeniable close. The next<br />
Olympics would be his last, though he hadn’t announced it to anybody yet,<br />
not even Nathan. Breaking world records would soon take a backseat to doing<br />
people’s tax returns. He squinted at the university’s website, not absorbing<br />
anything he was reading.<br />
‘Will, hon, it’s ready,’ his mother called.<br />
‘Cool. Thanks.’ Will crossed to the table. ‘If hunger didn’t kill me,<br />
95
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> <strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
boredom would have.’<br />
‘Come on — there’s nothing wrong with accounting,’ she chided.<br />
She missed him rolling his eyes.<br />
Will scoffed down his large serving of spaghetti while his mother filled<br />
the air with small talk. She visited several times a week, mainly to make sure<br />
he kept food in the house. Will didn’t mind her cooking for him, but their<br />
conversations had been uncomfortable of late. Will’s sister, Mandy, was pregnant<br />
for the second time and about to burst. Having a grandchild agreed with<br />
his parents, who had mellowed out over the last few years. But their eagerness<br />
for more little ankle-biters had resulted in them giving Will frequent, pointed<br />
looks, as if to say, ‘Your turn now, son.’<br />
He didn’t know how to tell them … he couldn’t tell them.<br />
At half-past seven, Will’s mother pulled on her jacket and grabbed her Louis<br />
Vuitton handbag.<br />
‘Little Tiffany’s waiting for Nanna.’ She hugged Will goodbye. She felt<br />
soft against his hard body. ‘I put a goulash thingy in the freezer. And—’<br />
‘Goodnight, Mum.’<br />
She smiled as Will closed the door after her. He waited, listening, until<br />
the sound of her car had faded away.<br />
Will returned to the kitchen and shut down his laptop. Studying was the<br />
last thing he wanted to do. Fetching the stereo remote, he turned on a mix CD<br />
Nathan had given him and cranked the volume up. The nearest neighbours<br />
were half a kilometre away. There he was, alone: the richest, fastest swimmer<br />
in the country, in his castle on a hill.<br />
Will sighed and shed his jumper. Anxiety was beginning to knot up his<br />
insides. There was only one sure way he knew to ease his mind. He looked<br />
through the glass wall that was the rear of the house, then paced through the<br />
lounge room and slid open the back door.<br />
It was a clear night. The rectangular pool was ten metres long; the warm<br />
yellow lights from its depths made it glow in the dark. Will pulled off his<br />
shorts, standing in his underwear for a moment. He threw the shorts in the<br />
direction of a deck chair but missed. He enjoyed the crisp breeze on his face<br />
for a second. Then he took a deep, measured breath and dived in.<br />
Will surfaced, shaking the hair out of his eyes. The cold water was<br />
exactly what he needed to remain in the present. He began to swim slow laps,<br />
96<br />
counting them off in his head. The music emanating from the lounge room<br />
came in and out: clear when he raised his head to suck in a breath; muffled<br />
when he was submerged.<br />
At some point, Will heard the music abruptly stop. He didn’t know how<br />
long he’d been swimming; he had counted 216 laps, though. Perhaps the electricity<br />
had gone out? He remained underwater but opened his eyes; the lights<br />
were still on. A figure stood in shadow on the pool deck.<br />
Nathan.<br />
Will broke the surface of the water, out of breath.<br />
‘Turn the stereo back on!’<br />
‘Don’t you ever get sick of swimming?’ Nathan grinned and un-paused<br />
the CD.<br />
Used to seeing Nathan in his usual training gear, Will thought his friend<br />
looked overdressed in designer jeans and a tight t-shirt.<br />
‘Right there … ’ Will snorted, feigning disappointment. ‘That’s why I’m<br />
faster than you.’ He floated backwards to the shallow end of the pool.<br />
‘Fuck off,’ Nathan laughed. Without invitation, he tossed aside the stereo<br />
remote and started pulling off his clothes.<br />
‘I’m getting out now,’ Will lied.<br />
Undeterred, Nathan draped his jeans over a cobwebby clothes-airer.<br />
Will stopped swimming when he noticed that Nathan’s undies were a pristine<br />
white.<br />
Nathan canon-balled into the pool with a juvenile yell. A small wave<br />
splashed up and hit Will in the face. Nathan’s undies were now see-through.<br />
Will adjusted his own, dark briefs as though trying to compensate. He channelled<br />
all his energy into not looking beneath the water.<br />
‘Let’s race!’ Nathan doggy-paddled over to Will.<br />
‘I’m too tired.’<br />
‘Pfft. Come on!’<br />
Will shook his head, knowing Nathan wouldn’t let up unless they<br />
attempted a race. They readied themselves, each with one hand on the brick<br />
border of the pool.<br />
‘Freestyle,’ Nathan smirked, ‘the length of the pool. No dolphin kicks. In<br />
three.’<br />
He counted down. They raced. It was over within ten seconds. Will<br />
let Nathan win. Nathan was so excited he did another couple of laps and<br />
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<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> <strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
slammed his fist into the water, cheering. Anyone would’ve thought he’d won<br />
gold. As far as ridiculous backyard swimming competitions were concerned,<br />
he had.<br />
‘Are you drunk?’ Will chuckled. ‘Where did you come from, anyway?’<br />
‘Launch party for some new lads’ mag,’ Nathan replied. ‘And I barely had<br />
anything. They had beer but … I don’t know, I have to be up early.’<br />
‘Uh-huh.’<br />
They were each treading water at either end of the pool now.<br />
The half-smile slid off Nathan’s face. ‘I know you think I’m a smartarse,<br />
but I do know where to draw the line.’<br />
Will didn’t like the serious tone in Nathan’s voice. ‘Hey, relax. I was<br />
kidding.’<br />
Nathan nodded; he was already over it.<br />
‘So I came to tell you — I dumped Emily.’ He looked unreasonably<br />
pleased. Will frowned; the confusion must have shown on his face. ‘She’s too<br />
much hard work, you know?’ Nathan explained. ‘I need someone who can just<br />
be chill and have a laugh sometimes … She never smiles. Have you noticed<br />
that?’<br />
Will had noticed, but he didn’t feel right saying so. Inside the house,<br />
the CD’s last song finished. Silence descended. The sound of the lapping pool<br />
water was amplified.<br />
‘Don’t date a swimmer,’ Nathan continued. ‘I swear it’s the worst thing<br />
you could do. They have no lives!’<br />
‘You mean we have no lives.’ Will’s eyes flicked underwater. Damn it.<br />
‘Well … I think I’ve managed to strike a balance.’<br />
Will passed a hand over his face, wiping water from his eyes. Nathan was<br />
deluding himself if he thought a balanced life was even an option.<br />
‘Was she upset?’ Will asked.<br />
Nathan thought about this. He laughed; it was soft, a whisper of a laugh.<br />
As though he’d just realised something. ‘No.’<br />
Will didn’t know what to say. ‘It’s probably for the best, man. Now you<br />
can really concentrate on Worlds.’<br />
‘And kicking your arse.’ Nathan smiled.<br />
Just like that — all thoughts of Emily forgotten. Will didn’t realise he was<br />
holding his breath until he felt the tightness in his chest. He breathed out. If<br />
only he could let go of his own feelings that easily. Like Nathan.<br />
98<br />
‘I want my spare key back, by the way,’ Will said, as though he hadn’t<br />
been thinking about it. Nathan laughed at first, stopping when he read<br />
through Will’s fake-casual tone.<br />
‘What? Where’s this coming from?’<br />
Their voices echoed across the water.<br />
‘Well, you’re abusing it — you’re like Kramer from Seinfeld,’ Will joked.<br />
‘What if I had company tonight?’<br />
‘You never have company. Read a paper: everyone thinks you’re a hermit.’<br />
‘They do not.’<br />
‘Seriously,’ Nathan insisted. ‘It’s been ages since you broke up with<br />
Sally—’<br />
‘Sarah.’<br />
‘—Sarah. People are starting to think—’<br />
Will kicked his feet up so quickly the water shot up like a geyser. Nathan<br />
wore a puzzled look. Ripples disturbed the water’s surface. Will’s eyes were<br />
closed; he wanted desperately to be outside of his body. Someone else.<br />
Somewhere else.<br />
He didn’t know how to tell him … he couldn’t tell him.<br />
Will said nothing. He opened his eyes to find Nathan staring at him. In<br />
a fluid, well-honed motion, Nathan disappeared underwater. His frame was<br />
distorted by the water’s movement and the dappled light. Nathan surfaced, a<br />
metre or so away.<br />
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’<br />
‘I couldn’t.’ The prickling in his eyes had nothing to do with chlorine.<br />
‘Does anyone know?’ Nathan sounded concerned. Will shook his head.<br />
Nathan drifted closer, disbelief painted on his face. ‘You can’t keep this quiet.’<br />
‘I have to! I’m “The Bullet” — remember?’ Despite his best efforts to control<br />
himself, he had begun to cry. ‘People have been throwing money at me to<br />
be their poster boy for ten years. Can you imagine what everyone’s gonna say<br />
when they find out?’ Will turned away. He couldn’t bear being emotional in<br />
front of Nathan. It was like being naked, but far, far worse.<br />
‘Are you kidding me? Look at— you’re fucking miserable! This is why you<br />
hardly ever talk, isn’t it?’ He gave an incredulous sigh. Will felt warm breath<br />
on the back of his neck; Nathan was too close. ‘Come out, man. You’ll be surprised<br />
how people are okay with it.’<br />
Will faced the edge of the pool, his hands braced against it. He was<br />
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<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong><br />
panting — a shuddery, post-race kind of exhalation that hurt his whole body.<br />
He felt, rather than saw, Nathan’s hands rise through the water and come to<br />
rest on Will’s chest. Nathan held this awkward embrace until he heard Will’s<br />
breathing regulate.<br />
Nathan finally spoke, his forehead resting against Will’s shoulder.<br />
‘You’re William Miller.’ He murmured his name like it was one word.<br />
Williamiller. ‘You’re not a machine.’<br />
Will couldn’t respond. He felt a strange sensation, as though Nathan’s<br />
words had freed him of some invisible weight. He reached up and touched<br />
Nathan’s hand; one stroke across his long fingers. The tension shifted — rose<br />
and ebbed — within a breath.<br />
‘You want me to go?’ Nathan said.<br />
Will allowed himself three seconds to memorise the feeling of Nathan’s<br />
skin against his.<br />
‘Yeah,’ he managed to say.<br />
Nathan’s strong forearms slipped away. The air around Will suddenly felt<br />
cold. The water trickled, making a sound like gentle wind chimes, as Nathan<br />
climbed out of the pool.<br />
Will didn’t turn around until he was sure Nathan had left. That’s when<br />
he spotted them, hanging from the clothes-airer: Nathan’s drenched, white<br />
undies.<br />
Will gazed at them for a long time before going inside.<br />
100<br />
Morning Smoko<br />
Veronica Bauer
Heather Troy<br />
Queering the Western: Brokeback<br />
Mountain<br />
The appearance of Brokeback Mountain (Ang Lee, 2005) within the canon<br />
of the Hollywood Western provokes a radical rethinking of the nature of the<br />
genre. Despite the director’s insistence that Brokeback is less a Western than<br />
a love story, its relationship to its generic forebears is fundamental to the ways<br />
in which it explores and destabilises notions of both masculinity and samesex<br />
desire in dominant American ideology. The film’s two queer protagonists,<br />
arguably the first to be openly depicted within the Western genre, both confront<br />
and subvert some of the dominant cultural stereotypes and prejudices<br />
of the tradition, and of Hollywood cinema as a whole. In ‘queering’ this genre,<br />
Brokeback Mountain forces an examination of its underlying ideologies —<br />
working to both destabilise and redefine its history. At the same time, some<br />
of its problematic queer representation serves to contain the progressive elements.<br />
This essay will suggest that Brokeback Mountain’s ‘queering’ of the<br />
Western works both to subvert and reinforce traditional notions of manhood,<br />
masculinity and same-sex desire in American film. Despite its shortcomings,<br />
Brokeback Mountain can be seen to generate a rethinking of sexuality in the<br />
Western, and further, to insert ‘queer’ into mainstream Hollywood, using the<br />
very vehicle which so often sought to suppress it.<br />
Brokeback Mountain’s situation within a generic history is central to its<br />
potentially subversive power. Historically, the film can be seen to mark a significant<br />
moment in both Hollywood and Queer Cinema — arguably, the point<br />
at which the two have intersected. Despite the director’s denial that the film<br />
belongs to either the Western genre or Queer cinema, popular discourse on<br />
the film has claimed that both of these genres are contained within Brokeback<br />
Mountain, which is a significant notion in itself, as traditionally the two could<br />
not be more ideologically opposed. As a genre that is founded upon the figure<br />
of the white heterosexual male hero, the traditional Western has vehemently<br />
disavowed any form of same-sex desire or homoerotic connotation. While<br />
viewers have frequently ‘queered’ traditional Westerns through reading<br />
homo-eroticism in their subtexts, the homophobia accompanying Western<br />
narratives serves to counteract such anxieties and reinforce dominant heterosexual<br />
readings. With the insertion of a ‘queer’ narrative into this tradition,<br />
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Brokeback Mountain marks a fundamental change in the representation of<br />
American masculinity which the Western strove to uphold. It achieves this<br />
through presenting same-sex desire between protagonists who are otherwise<br />
icons of an ideology that is antithetical to this desire — American cowboys.<br />
In Brokeback’s opening sequence, where we first see Ennis del Mar and<br />
Jack Twist, familiarity with the ‘cowboy’ of earlier Westerns enables us to<br />
immediately identify them as such. Set against the haunting and desolate<br />
backdrop of rural Wyoming, classic frontier country, both men appear in<br />
western shirts, jeans with oversized belt buckles and classic cowboy hats and<br />
boots. As Ennis stands against a wall with his head down so that all we see is<br />
the top of his hat, Jack slouches against the side of his truck, peering out from<br />
under his brim. While both men silently ‘size each other up’ with sidelong<br />
glances, more importantly, the audience is given time to do the same. Through<br />
their costuming and body language, Jack and Ennis are presented as explicitly<br />
masculine. They are strong, silent, hard-working types, embodiments of<br />
the mythic American cowboy, a figure that has come to represent a national<br />
ideology. As Tom Sullivan suggests, the cowboy evokes an entire cultural<br />
ideal of masculinity and patriarchal society, one embedded in the American<br />
imagination through the Western film and its icons. Cowboys, those early<br />
American frontier heroes, were ‘independent, self-reliant, brave, skilled’ men,<br />
who brought moral order to untamed land, acting in support of the family<br />
and heterosexual community from which they came. The cowboy epitomises a<br />
white, straight, normative masculinity, which, as Eric Paterson has noted, is in<br />
its very nature ‘antithetical to same-sex desire’. Thus, from the very beginning<br />
of Brokeback Mountain, before a single word is even spoken, the first shots of<br />
Jack and Ennis become a visual portrait of an entire cultural mythology. This<br />
mythology, one which endorses heterosexuality and is ‘accompanied by rabid<br />
homophobia’, is thus set up to be radically challenged by the queer narrative to<br />
follow.<br />
The first forty minutes of Brokeback reinforce the traditional American<br />
masculinity of the protagonists. In a long montage depicting Ennis and Jack<br />
setting off on their sheep herding job, we see the men saddling up horses, riding<br />
through forests and along rocky ridges, chopping wood, setting up camp,<br />
hunting, using guns, and generally displaying a melange of rural ‘masculine’<br />
skills. Recalling Westerns such as Ride The High Country (1962) and The Big<br />
Sky (1952), Brokeback mimics shots of Jack and Ennis retreating on horseback<br />
into the wilderness, locating them as reincarnations of the ‘cowboy and his
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sidekick’ from earlier Westerns. As Paterson notes, Ennis almost perfectly<br />
embodies the ideal of the American man, while Jack serves as his less reserved<br />
but equally courageous sidekick. At this point in the narrative, their friendship<br />
is ‘akin to the bonding of buddies in Western and war films’, developing<br />
organically against the rugged Wyoming landscape, a site against which<br />
so many previous Western icons and their sidekicks have both worked and<br />
played.<br />
Brokeback ‘queers’ this traditional friendship over the course of Ennis<br />
and Jack’s stay on the mountain. In time, their nights by the fire, work and<br />
daytime ‘horseplay’ slide into a sexual and romantic relationship. As Cynthia<br />
Barounis notes, the development of male–male desire in Brokeback occurs<br />
organically; ‘it is figured as a natural corollary to male horseplay and the violent,<br />
almost primitive, crashing together of two male bodies’. This queering of<br />
traditional homosocial bonding in Brokeback Mountain has been described<br />
as a radical departure from earlier Westerns. It has also, alternatively, been<br />
described as only serving to make explicit the latent homoerotic desire that<br />
existed between cowboy ‘buddies’ in Westerns all along, in films such as<br />
Shane (1963) and Red River (1948). In Brokeback, Jack and Ennis’s relationship<br />
can be seen as the logical extension of the ‘buddy relationship’. It unmasks<br />
what can be seen as an artificial boundary between friendship and deeper<br />
‘emotional and physical intimacy’ which has always, if not sometimes flimsily,<br />
been maintained in earlier films. Same-sex desire in the Western can be seen<br />
to have finally been brought ‘out of the closet’ in Brokeback Mountain. The<br />
film forces us to re-examine the nature of male relationships over the course<br />
of the genre’s history and acknowledge the existence of the homoerotic desire<br />
which it has consistently denied. In re-appropriating the Western landscape<br />
and its traditional narrative into one of queer desire, the film challenges<br />
the idea of genre as a set of strict signifiers and conventions, supporting the<br />
idea that a ‘genre itself is something like a permanent state of revolution’. As<br />
Erika Spohrer suggests, if the film presents Jack and Ennis as ideal models of<br />
Western masculinity, it does so only to turn these ideals on their head, ‘forcing<br />
an interrogation of the male relationships that so define the Western genre’.<br />
Brokeback’s queering of the Western genre also manifests in its appreciation<br />
of the erotic power of the male body. As E. Ann Kaplan suggests,<br />
mainstream cinema has continually disavowed the existence of an erotic gaze<br />
upon the male body, which connotes objectification and feminisation. In<br />
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the Western, however, the male body is constantly depicted in a potentially<br />
erotic manner; it is displayed in action, revealing muscularity and masculine<br />
strength, and outfitted in costumes which further highlight these attributes.<br />
By depicting the male body in ‘dramatic physical action’, the Western genre<br />
consciously celebrates its strength while its sensuous or erotic nature is disavowed<br />
through action and an emphasis on its functional qualities. Brokeback<br />
works to expose this disavowal through its protagonists’ appreciation for each<br />
other’s bodies. While the film continually depicts Ennis and Jack’s bodies in<br />
action, as in early Westerns, their appreciation for each other’s physicality<br />
reveals itself through their gazes. As Paterson notes, Jack and Ennis ‘move<br />
from clandestinely appreciating each other to being able to gaze directly; to<br />
look and take pleasure in looking’. This reworking of the gaze is instigated<br />
in the opening scene, when Jack first looks at Ennis through his car mirror<br />
without his knowing, making Ennis the object of his voyeuristic gaze. Later,<br />
both Jack and Ennis take turns ‘looking’ at one another. Ennis looks at Jack<br />
as he leaves the campsite; Jack looks at Ennis as he rides off on his horse. It<br />
is through this myriad of gazes that erotic tension is built and then acted<br />
upon. In this way, Brokeback can be seen to queer, or rather to unmask, the<br />
erotic gaze that existed in the traditional Western. Once again, this works to<br />
deconstruct the conventions of the genre, destabilising the homosocial code<br />
between male characters which the Western sought to maintain.<br />
However, despite the fact that Brokeback can be seen to bring queer<br />
desire in the Western to light, the film can also be seen to subtly reinforce<br />
some of the genre’s long-standing ideologies. Same-sex desire between buddies<br />
in the Western has always been subservient to heterosexual relationships<br />
and marriage and it is problematic to note that this notion remains evident<br />
in Brokeback. Paterson notes that in earlier Westerns the cowboy’s desire to<br />
remain undomesticated indicates ‘a deep ambivalence towards the society<br />
he defends, and especially towards its most visible embodiments ... women’.<br />
To counteract this, the Western hero’s sidekick inevitably has to be killed off,<br />
usually in combat, to enable the cowboy’s reintegration into the heterosexual<br />
community. This plotline inevitably worked to disavow any suggestion of<br />
same-sex desire that the sidekick figure presented, allowing the cowboy to<br />
remain the icon and protector of the white, heterosexual community.<br />
Although queer desire between Ennis and Jack is acknowledged and<br />
acted upon, the film can be seen to nonetheless retain much of this traditional<br />
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ideology. While Jack is willing to leave his wife and ‘set up ranch’ with Ennis,<br />
Ennis refuses to leave his wife and children, or to identify as gay. He attempts<br />
to remain a husband and father, although his ability to perform this task is<br />
presented as being constantly undercut by his relationship with Jack. In these<br />
troubling scenes, Ennis is shown repeatedly deserting his neglected wife,<br />
Alma, leaving her in a claustrophobic domestic space so that he can be with<br />
Jack in the freedom of the mountains. Here, queerness is pitted against the<br />
heterosexual family, depicted as its enemy and destroyer, and the cause of its<br />
undoing. Furthermore, queerness can be seen to remain consistently subservient<br />
to the paradigm of marriage and the family. After his marriage falls apart,<br />
Ennis chooses to live alone rather than start a life with Jack, saying ‘two guys<br />
living together ... it’s not done’. Despite no longer being with Alma, Ennis<br />
still remains paranoid about his family uncovering his relationship with Jack.<br />
This aspect of the narrative serves to reinforce the traditional ideology of the<br />
Western; Ennis appears unable to shake the hold of the heterosexual family<br />
or community in favour of starting a life with Jack. He continues to fight an<br />
internalised homophobia, and Jack, just like the sidekick in the Western, is<br />
killed. Jack’s tragic death works to reinforce what has almost always been the<br />
fate of the homosexual in mainstream film — to die. This affirms D.A. Miller’s<br />
notion that homosexual desire in Hollywood ‘is shown to best advantage in<br />
the condition of having passed on’.<br />
The final scene of Brokeback is shown to affirm the ideology of the<br />
Western and the paradigm of the family, simultaneously killing off queer<br />
desire. In this tokenistic sequence, Ennis’s daughter announces her marriage<br />
plans, asking him to be present at the wedding. Ennis is shown as being<br />
redeemed and reintegrated into the heterosexual community through his role<br />
as a father, supporting the expression of normative sexual relationships. The<br />
last sequence depicts Ennis looking at a photo of Brokeback mountain and the<br />
shirt of Jack’s that he has hung in his wardrobe, before closing the door. Here,<br />
the queer desire Brokeback Mountain has unmasked is shown being returned<br />
to the closet, while the traditional heterosexual community of the Western<br />
genre is renewed and regenerated.<br />
As a mainstream Hollywood film, Brokeback Mountain can be seen as<br />
a significant achievement in the canons of both queer and Western cinema.<br />
The film works to challenge the traditional conventions of the Western genre,<br />
and indeed the nature of genre itself, by re-appropriating the Western’s<br />
106<br />
traditional signifiers of heterosexual society — cowboys — for its own queer<br />
ends. Through its exploration of the organic sexual relationship of its two<br />
protagonists, Brokeback calls attention to the homoerotic nature of earlier<br />
buddy films, destabilising the ideology of the entire Western genre. However,<br />
despite this, the queer desire Brokeback unmasks is also contained through<br />
its narrative. The plot ultimately adheres to conventional notions of sexuality<br />
and gender supported by earlier Westerns, culminating in the ‘death’ of queer<br />
desire and the regeneration of the heterosexual community that Jack and<br />
Ennis’s relationship challenged. Perhaps it can be said that by bringing queerness<br />
into mainstream cinema through the conservative genre of the Western,<br />
Brokeback Mountain acts as a marker: both of how far cinema has come in<br />
terms of representing same-sex desire and how much more there remains to<br />
do.<br />
Bibliography<br />
Barounis, Cynthia 2009, ‘Crippling Heterosexuality, Queering Able-<br />
Bodiedness: Murderball, Brokeback Mountain and the Contested Masculine<br />
Body’, Journal of Visual Culture, Vol. 54, No. 8, pp. 54-75.<br />
Clum, John M. 2002, ‘HE’S ALL MAN’ : Learning Masculinity, Gayness and<br />
Love from American Movies, Palgrave, New York, USA, pp. xix-93.<br />
Doty, Alexander 2000, ‘Queer Theory’, Chapter 15 in Film Studies: A Critical<br />
Approach, John Hill & Pamela Church Gibson (eds), Oxford University Press,<br />
UK, pp. 146-150.<br />
Kaplan, E. Ann 2008, ‘A History of Gender Theory in Cinema Studies’ in<br />
Screening Genders, Krin Gabbard and William Luhr (eds), Rutgers University<br />
Press, New Brunswick, New Jersey, pp. 22-27.<br />
Kitses, Jim 2007, ‘All the Brokeback Allows’, Film Quarterly, Vol. 60, No. 3,<br />
pp. 22-27.<br />
Leung, William 2008, ‘So Queer Yet So Straight: Ang Lee’s The Wedding<br />
Banquet and Brokeback Mountain’, Journal of Film and Video, Vol. 60, Issue 1,<br />
Spring 2008, p. 23.<br />
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Lugowski, David 2008, ‘Ginger Rogers and Gay Men? Queer Film Studies,<br />
Richard Dter, and Diva Worship’ in Screening Genders, Krin Gabbard and<br />
William Luhr (eds), Rutgers University Press, New Brunswick, New Jersey,<br />
pp. 95-101.<br />
Miller, D.A. 2007, ‘On the Universality of Brokeback’, Film Quarterly, Vol. 60,<br />
No. 3, pp. 50-60.<br />
Neibaur, James L. 1989, Tough Guy: The American Movie Macho, McFarland &<br />
Company Inc., North Carolina, USA, pp. 6-9.<br />
Osterwell, Ara 2007, ‘Ang Lee’s Lonesome Cowboys’, Film Quarterly, Vol. 60,<br />
No. 3, pp. 38-42.<br />
Patterson, Eric 2008, On Brokeback Mountain: Meditations About<br />
Masculinity, Fear, and Love in the Story and the Film, Lexington Books,<br />
Plymouth, United Kingdom.<br />
Pye, Douglas 1986, ‘The Western (Genre and Movies)’, in Film Genre Reader,<br />
Barry Keith Grant (ed.), University of Texas Press, Austin, pp. 144-157.<br />
Spohrer, Erika 2009, ‘Not a Gay Cowboy Movie? Brokeback Mountain and the<br />
Importance of Genre’, Journal of Popular Film and Television, pp. 26-33.<br />
Sullivan, Tom R. 1990, Cowboys and Caudillos: Frontier Ideology of the<br />
Americas, Bowling Green State University Popular Press, USA, pp. 44-<strong>47</strong>.<br />
Wood, Robin 1986, ‘Ideology, Genre, Auter’, in Film Genre Reader, Barry Keith<br />
Grant (ed.), University of Texas Press, Austin, pp. 60-61.<br />
Films<br />
Brokeback Mountain, Ang Lee, 2005<br />
Red River, Howard Hawks, 1948<br />
Ride the High Country, Sam Peckinpah, 1962<br />
Shane, George Stevens, 1953<br />
The Big Sky, Howard Hawks, 1952<br />
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Oscar<br />
Bernard O’Connor
Veronica Bauer<br />
Dick Lit.<br />
Wayne’s First Stop<br />
He arrives in town,<br />
covered in dust.<br />
Small town, one road,<br />
everybody looks up.<br />
Word’ll spread fast;<br />
they’ll be waiting for him,<br />
hungry<br />
for gossip.<br />
It’s entertainment they’re after,<br />
the kind only a stranger can bring.<br />
Three days since the last whiskey:<br />
his business can wait.<br />
Thirsty<br />
Five pennies<br />
for the boy<br />
who takes his horse.<br />
The doors swing in;<br />
all eyes on him.<br />
He walks slowly,<br />
avoiding their stares.<br />
He downs the first three shots without pause.<br />
‘Where from?’ the barkeep asks.<br />
‘Nowhere’ being the answer<br />
that marks a man as trouble.<br />
‘Looking for someone?’<br />
‘Tommy Hanson is his name.<br />
Short and nasty fellow,<br />
110<br />
moustache like a dead maggot<br />
trying to crawl up his nose.’<br />
The barkeep nods to the table by the door,<br />
where the fellows who end trouble<br />
play a game of cards.<br />
Hello Again<br />
He is drunk by now,<br />
can still walk,<br />
as long as he doesn’t try to stop.<br />
He throws stones at the windows,<br />
smashes two before the door flies open.<br />
Storming out of the front door<br />
the reason for his long ride:<br />
an ugly face<br />
begging for a bullet.<br />
Maggot-face is in his long johns,<br />
shotgun pointed at Wayne.<br />
He stops yelling when realisation dawns;<br />
the shotgun shakes,<br />
then drops to the ground.<br />
Wayne spits at Tommy,<br />
missing by a mile.<br />
‘Noon tomorrow.<br />
I’ll give you fair pay<br />
for what you did to my girl.’<br />
Noon<br />
Their backs together,<br />
the sheriff recites the rules.<br />
‘I hope she finds you,<br />
my bullet your ticket.<br />
She’ll haunt you on the other side,<br />
repay you herself.<br />
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She always liked,<br />
to hear a man beg.’<br />
Tommy’s moustache twitches,<br />
nearly disappears up his nostrils.<br />
‘I didn’t mean,’ he squeaks.<br />
It was meant to be a joke.<br />
They step towards<br />
the turning point,<br />
fingers itching to reach.<br />
Wayne smiles:<br />
he’s been waiting for this.<br />
The last thing he sees<br />
a wet patch on Tommy’s pants.<br />
Funeral<br />
The coffin is lowered<br />
in front of few eyes;<br />
the priest recites<br />
the usual drivel.<br />
The man on his crutch<br />
smiles to himself,<br />
picturing Maggie<br />
on the other side:<br />
waiting with open claws<br />
to tear the maggot apart.<br />
Death’s not enough,<br />
but she’ll do the rest.<br />
Wayne spits on the grave<br />
and is on his way:<br />
One down,<br />
five more to go.<br />
He knows his next drink<br />
is three days away.<br />
112<br />
The Land of Defeat<br />
Cleanliness and peace stir together. You can’t spot solid ground for miles.<br />
No mountains or ocean can be seen. There is only a series of small lakes and<br />
rocks cuddling together. Large stones, covered in moss, hide in the bushes<br />
that’ve sprouted from the wet soil. Ferns can be discerned all around. The sun<br />
is active as it shares its energy and camouflages in the cloudless grey sky. Oh,<br />
how the sky is bright.<br />
You can’t tell morning from afternoon; all sense of time is lost. It fleets<br />
into an illusion. The weather feels humid in this empty world — a vast, flat<br />
terrain that carries empty strains of extinction.<br />
Travelling is useless unless you want to find a way. One step into the tall<br />
leaves and up again. This feels like the grass is a pool of its own.<br />
Accidentally, feet soak into the unseen mud.<br />
You can’t see where you are, let alone what surface you’re walking on.<br />
There is a hint of solid soil, but how long will it last? Travelling along the<br />
deep, wet plain, rocks tower overhead like buildings. Perhaps climbing on top<br />
should provide a greater view of the land. Luckily, they aren’t too steep. They<br />
are easily climbed. Once at the top, the world seems to spread and the view<br />
becomes clear. But fog lingers and folds itself over the sky and horizon.<br />
Nature is testing the will. It wants to present itself as a hindrance — a<br />
barrier which you cannot escape from.<br />
The challenge is nature itself.<br />
Every game can be won, and victory is awarded with a prize. Sliding<br />
down the rock and lunging forward into the water, like a possum leaping<br />
out, begging itself to fly. The landing was soft and water splashed all around.<br />
Running over the humps and jumping over puddles can take someone so far.<br />
Ferns stand tall in all directions. No matter where the only attention went, it<br />
could only give it to the thick plants. The sound of the wind doesn’t scream at<br />
the slightest when it flies past the ears.<br />
Growing tired from expelling energy. The obstacles are difficult to conquer.<br />
Now at a walking pace, exhausted and fatigued, it can only summon<br />
opportunities for injuries. It doesn’t warn the mind; it only wishes to drive forward<br />
out on the endless plain.<br />
Trip! Tumbling over the grass knots and flying into the pool. The splash<br />
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is awesome. Water erupts without any guide to measurement of how deep it<br />
is. Until now … It feels as if the water has grabbed on and is dragging prey into<br />
its stomach. It gets darker. It’s getting harder to see. The body can’t move. It<br />
can’t breathe. It can’t live.<br />
Eyes close … Willpower … Disappearing …<br />
Slam! The floor shakes silently. Getting up, I notice myself facing the<br />
carpet. The blanket covers me. The pillow, on the other hand, stays still on the<br />
bed. I get up, realising that the sun is shining through the curtains. As I stand<br />
up and snap myself out of my daze, I reach for the watch on my bedside table.<br />
It’s 2.05 p.m.<br />
I must’ve overslept.<br />
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Pussycat Northcote<br />
Norman Jensen
Simon Exley<br />
Every Time I Close My Eyes<br />
Every time I close my eyes<br />
I can see him hanging there<br />
He was my brother<br />
My best friend<br />
Why is life so unfair<br />
Now every time I close my eyes<br />
I can see him hanging there<br />
Why was I left alone?<br />
Why weren’t my parents there<br />
Why is it<br />
Every time I close my eyes<br />
I can see him hanging there<br />
He lived such a fulfilling life<br />
He lived without a care<br />
So why is it<br />
Every time I close my eyes<br />
I can see him hanging there<br />
I can remember<br />
All the good times we had<br />
For me he was always there<br />
But now<br />
Every time I close my eyes<br />
I can see him hanging there<br />
116<br />
Lost on Another Planet<br />
Bernard O’Connor
Sonia Sanjiven<br />
I Call My Dog Sugar<br />
I never had a chance. I never had a chance. I was always going to be like this.<br />
I’m not sure what type of daughter my parents thought they would have but I<br />
feel like they did not expect this. The thoughts in my head are not born from<br />
the pictures the universe sets in front of me, but rather the ones that have<br />
been sprawled out and tattooed to the walls of my mind, my insides.<br />
I think about standing out in a crowd and kissing tiny dog teeth and<br />
people who accidentally sing out loud on public transport and bushes named<br />
Whoopi Goldbush.<br />
I think about spelling and grammatical errors and how they’re very<br />
irritating and how their appearances in everyday media creates a sad misrepresentation<br />
of my generation that simply should not be there.<br />
I ponder about underage mothers and the dignity one loses in the wearing<br />
of fake brand merchandise and the name Sal Paradise and boys in tight<br />
jeans. I care about my mum’s depression and my dad’s depression and my<br />
brother being a slut and my hair.<br />
I feel for strangers who look lost and think about their lives and hope<br />
they find their way and then I think to myself, ‘Well at least they’ve broken<br />
away from the monotony of knowing.’ Knowing where you are, who you are,<br />
where you’re headed and what lies there waiting.<br />
I daydream about drugs and sex and music and rain and dancing and<br />
laughing. I always, always, always think about laughing. Laughing aloud in<br />
public and smiling to yourself at a joke and clutching your stomach and crying<br />
tears of ecstasy, ecstasy from the laughter. I think about a boy I once liked and<br />
I wonder how he is and where he is and to whom he’s talking and envy how<br />
lucky they are. Lucky to be friends with him. Then I think about him laughing.<br />
Then I smile too.<br />
I remember that I have no luck, but I’m so very lucky and wonder<br />
whether luck is real and if it is, where is it? I recall being left out by the girls<br />
in temple and being popular in high school and feeling insecure when I was<br />
younger and drowning in overconfidence now. I wonder why I’ve always found<br />
it more fun to make people hate me and how I always manage to surround<br />
myself with whomever it is I want, and when I became this way and whether<br />
it is good or bad. I ask myself why I don’t care. I have no answer.<br />
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<strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
I think about my hands and how they are like my mother’s and my lips<br />
and their likeness to my father’s and I think of the things I’ve done with these<br />
hands and lips. I wonder how my parents would feel if they ever found out<br />
and how I would feel if they ever found out and how I feel when I’m doing<br />
these things and then I come to the conclusion that I regret nothing.<br />
I regret nothing and I do everything and I say yes to anything and no to<br />
everyone. I hate with so much force sometimes that I tire myself out, but then<br />
I think that perhaps I have to hate because when I love, and there are just a<br />
few who truly know my love, it’s far too strong and my heart becomes far too<br />
light and I misjudge the sharp pangs of reality. Then I remember that I’ve seen<br />
sadness and I’ve felt sadness and I know sadness and that it scars and you<br />
never forget it like the ending to a favourite story.<br />
I think about moving in closer to him and feeling the warmth of his<br />
chest on mine and leaning in for a kiss and the feel of lips on my neck. I recall<br />
hair being swept off my face and intertwined fingers and hands on thighs and<br />
deep breathless kisses. I imagine hundreds of thousands of millions of people<br />
and silence and darkness and two people alone.<br />
I relive the dropping of a stone in my stomach when bad news is found<br />
out and the fleeting moment of hysteria when a step is missed down the stairs<br />
and the sharp pain of a paper cut that draws no blood and the electric spark of<br />
a meaningful touch. The touch of our lips.<br />
I think about the thoughts people have and the things that come to their<br />
minds and the kind of moments and wishes my parents relive and then I think<br />
to myself, ‘Surely they knew I never had a chance.’<br />
And then I think about the summer time.
Isabelle Dupré<br />
Innocent Infliction<br />
‘... back to the mother, back to God, back to the All.’<br />
Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse<br />
A state of non-living<br />
mentored by society — away from the self<br />
living-ness is reflected<br />
through the disturbances, encountered<br />
struck as an animal by torchlight<br />
orienteered<br />
through a dedication to craft<br />
as is the dried ice used for the final numbing of cold toes<br />
let me reach out for your hand<br />
your last affordable appenditure<br />
to me.<br />
120<br />
Fluorescent Lights<br />
121<br />
<strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
Fluorescent lights insects of the summer love face their angry love-r after<br />
being brutalised by ants leaving scars deep fried on the whiskers of a praying<br />
mantis<br />
Off a building morse morse morse coding my weakest subscription to the<br />
world below above the squeak of sneakers screeching they cry not like the rugged<br />
wolf prowling hungry for breast milk<br />
Over-gross creatures leave their bald patch at home with the magazine I left<br />
on the floor yesterday
Samuel Gillard<br />
Isolation<br />
The kerosene lamps faded and the room became black. The mansion creaked<br />
and, outside, the old oak trees blew with the wind.<br />
The man rose from his chair and relit the lamp on the wall. The bookcase<br />
had piles of books neatly placed with each other. The walls were white.<br />
No dust smoked the room. He sat back down on his chair and lit the other<br />
kerosene lamp on the table. The wooden chair was red-brown; it belonged to<br />
his father who vanished long ago. The man sat perfectly still reading his book,<br />
never adjusting himself. A breeze crept in as the door screeched open and<br />
Clarke entered the room.<br />
‘Mr Isaac, your dinner is ready.’<br />
‘You will address me as “sir”.’<br />
‘Give me your pardon, sir.’<br />
Isaac turned around on his chair and motioned for Clarke to leave.<br />
Clarke wore a black top hat and morning coat with a white shirt underneath<br />
and gloves to match. When Isaac’s parents disappeared, Clarke was the only<br />
one he had left; he was the butler of the household. Clarke had taken care of<br />
him since he was a child.<br />
‘I shall await you in the dining room, sir,’ recited Clarke. He bowed and<br />
closed the door behind him.<br />
In the dining room, the wooden floor reflected Isaac. The table stretched<br />
from one side of the room to the other and was covered with pristine white<br />
sheets. He was the only one who ever used this table. The next room was the<br />
kitchen; the fire in the cast-iron stove kept the house warm. Clarke hunched<br />
over him and cut the meat and poured wine into Isaac’s glass.<br />
‘There is no mail for you today, nor has anyone come to visit, sir.’<br />
Isaac bit his tongue while chewing his meat. He tried to hide it with a sip<br />
of his wine. ‘Clarke, you may retire for the day after I’ve finished.’<br />
‘Very well, sir.’<br />
Isaac woke up and looked out the window. The grass in the field danced with<br />
the rocks and trees. He rubbed his eyes to dispel the illusion, but nature kept<br />
dancing. The grass and rocks closed in on the window. The trees stretched<br />
their branches, and leaves broke off and twirled in the wind.<br />
122<br />
123<br />
<strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
‘Morning, Mr Isaac. Breakfast is prepared for the day.’ The interruption<br />
halted the leaves and rocks.<br />
Isaac squeezed his pillow. ‘It’s “sir”. I don’t want to have to remind you<br />
again.’ Isaac went into his room. Not tonight, he thought.<br />
In the night, Isaac heard a loud thump. The window. Isaac rose quickly. He<br />
looked outside. The stars were still out, but the leaves and rocks weren’t dancing.<br />
He heard drums pounding outside. Beating away. Boom, boom. Boom,<br />
boom.<br />
What on earth is Clarke doing? He rolled out of bed and opened the<br />
door, but the noise had stopped. He stood there for a moment, but all he<br />
could hear was the wind blowing through the crack beneath the front door.<br />
He closed the door and the noise started again. He laid his ear on the ground,<br />
but couldn’t feel any vibrations. The drums began to subside. Perhaps it was<br />
just his imagination.<br />
When it stopped, Isaac returned to bed.<br />
‘Morning, sir. Your breakfast is prepared.’<br />
‘Did you hear a noise last night?’<br />
‘What noise, sir?’<br />
‘It was like someone was banging on a wall, but it wasn’t coming from<br />
inside the house.’<br />
‘Perhaps you were dreaming, or it could have been the horse, sir. It grows<br />
restless.’<br />
‘Since when did we have a horse?’ He hadn’t felt like this before; his stomach<br />
was turning.<br />
‘We’ve always had the horses, sir. I use them to ride into town.’<br />
Clarke stepped forward and placed his hand on Isaac. It was a subtle<br />
reminder for Isaac to go to the living room.<br />
‘What’s in the town?’ said Isaac. He shrugged Clarke’s hand off. ‘Why don’t<br />
you take me?’<br />
‘It is much too dangerous for you! You belong in here.’<br />
Isaac rose from his chair and kicked it towards Clarke. ‘But why?’ Isaac<br />
crunched the page and slammed his book shut. He threw the book at the window,<br />
shattering the glass.<br />
‘The town took your parents!’ Clarke reminded him. ‘What if it took you?’<br />
The summer air drifted in from the broken window. The scent of flowers
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> <strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
tingled Isaac’s nose. It was a sensation he’d never felt ... It seduced him.<br />
He looked through the hole and saw how crisp the brown in the trees had<br />
become; how vivid the blue sky was; how much brighter the grass was. Isaac<br />
walked over to Clarke. His fist was clenched. ‘I won’t be eating breakfast today.’<br />
‘I recommend that you eat your breakfast. It is important for your health.’<br />
‘You will do your best to keep your opinions to yourself. You’re a servant<br />
— don’t you forget it. Leave, now.’<br />
Clarke hesitated. Staring at the window, he approached the table. ‘Let<br />
me fix that for you. I will border the window.’<br />
‘Leave it.’<br />
‘But, sir, flies will get into the house. ’Tis the summer season.’<br />
‘It’s fine.’<br />
‘Sir, we can’t just leave it. The house will become foul.’<br />
‘Get out!’<br />
Clarke stood back and gazed at Isaac. Sunlight dripped through the broken<br />
window. It was the first time Isaac had felt warmth on his skin.<br />
Isaac swung around and looked straight into Clarke’s eyes. Storming past<br />
Clarke, he headed for the backdoor.<br />
Outside, he could hear the birds on his roof and saw their nest made<br />
from branches. One of the birds flew away into the distance, and Isaac wondered<br />
if it would come back.<br />
The sun was much brighter than he had thought. He opened up the double<br />
wooden door that led down into the cellar. The sun revealed the stairs. He<br />
took a few steps down and closed the door the behind him. Inside, it was pitch<br />
black. As he traced the walls, grime and cobwebs stuck to his finger. He pulled<br />
the kerosene lamp off the wall and lit it. The cellar was dusty and the stone<br />
tiled floors were covered in dirt. He saw broken spider webs across the room,<br />
though no real sign that anything was alive down there. He didn’t want to go<br />
back into that mansion, so he remained in the cellar for the rest of the night.<br />
Isaac dreamed about the night of his parents’ disappearance. He felt alone,<br />
even with Clarke there for him; it wasn’t the same without his parents. Ever<br />
since his parents had left, Isaac had been too afraid to go outside. He was<br />
afraid he’d meet the same fate as his parents. That was twenty-five years ago.<br />
Isolation ravaged his mind; Clarke only provoked it with his restrictions. Isaac<br />
was imprisoned.<br />
‘Sir, are you down here?’<br />
124<br />
The light gleamed over Isaac’s face. He shielded his eyes.<br />
‘Sir? Hello?’<br />
‘Have I any letters or visits?’<br />
There was a pause. Isaac took a few steps down. ‘Not today, sir.’ His voice<br />
echoed down clearly.<br />
Of course not, he thought with a sigh. He erupted into a coughing fit.<br />
The dust was building up in his lungs. Isaac climbed the stairs. Each step left a<br />
dusty footprint.<br />
‘Sir, may I suggest a bath? That will rest your mind. It will help if you stay<br />
in for the night with me.’<br />
‘I stay in every night.’<br />
‘As you should, sir.’<br />
Perhaps not tonight.<br />
After his bath, Isaac looked at his watch. He grabbed his formal evening<br />
tails, black top hat and white shirt from the cabinet. Isaac looked into<br />
the mirror, brushed his clothes and placed a white bow tie around his neck.<br />
He finished his outfit with his polished black trousers. His thick moustache<br />
pointed outwards.<br />
‘Sir, where may you be going?’<br />
‘I’m heading for town.’<br />
‘Are you sure, sir? It may be better to stay here.’<br />
‘I’ve stayed here for as long as I can remember.’<br />
‘And it’s a good thing. Why go to the town? You have me, and everything<br />
you want, right here. I take care of everything for you.’<br />
Isaac grabbed a bucket of water from the kitchen and dipped his comb<br />
inside. Clarke followed him. Isaac looked into the mirror and combed his hair<br />
into an even part.<br />
‘I need to leave.’<br />
‘No, you don’t.’<br />
‘What is the matter with you? You’ve been acting strange lately.’<br />
‘Strange?’ The room grew darker around Clarke. ‘I only do what’s best for<br />
you. Why is that strange?’<br />
‘Perhaps not always. I’m beginning to think you do what’s best for you.’<br />
Isaac passed through the hallway and headed for the front door. The hovering<br />
hall-lamp swayed.<br />
Is this another dream?<br />
125
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> <strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
Before he could place his hands on the knob, Clarke pushed in front of<br />
him.<br />
‘I cannot allow you to leave.’<br />
‘Have you gone mad? Move!’ Isaac raised his eyebrow and looked into<br />
Clarke’s pale face. No movement from either of them. They stared at each<br />
other.<br />
‘If you don’t move, I will make you,’ Isaac said.<br />
The hovering lamp only revealed half of Clarke, but Isaac could see the<br />
smirk on his face. Isaac grabbed Clarke’s shirt and pushed him against the wall.<br />
Clarke kicked himself free. He charged at Isaac, but Isaac stepped aside.<br />
Clarke crashed into the wall with his shoulder and grunted.<br />
‘You’ve gone crazy!’ Isaac shouted.<br />
Clarke held his shoulder and panted. He wiped the sweat from his brow<br />
and looked at Isaac. Then he charged again. Isaac punched Clarke in the<br />
face and threw him to the ground. Clarke latched onto Isaac’s leg, but Isaac<br />
shrugged him off with ease.<br />
‘Don’t leave me, sir. I need you, please!<br />
‘I want you gone when I come back!’ Isaac shut the door behind him.<br />
His caravan was amongst the tall grass under the tree. He wiped away the<br />
dirt and noticed how worn it was. The wheels were stiff and unstable.<br />
This is not fit for use.<br />
Clarke barged out of the front door screaming nonsense at him. Isaac<br />
saddled up the horse, jumped on and rode to town.<br />
Upon arriving, he looked down the cobblestone street. Lamp posts were lit on<br />
each corner. Everywhere he looked, people walked around. Houses lined the<br />
street and windows glared from the inside. Men, dressed like himself, walked<br />
around the streets wearing bowler or homburg hats. Women wore afternoon<br />
gowns that covered them from their necks to their ankles. Others had elegant<br />
half-crinolines. Isaac couldn’t keep his eyes off them. The dress was like nothing<br />
he had ever seen before.<br />
Isaac approached a lady on the sidewalk. Isaac felt his heart beating<br />
uncontrollably. His hands shook.<br />
‘Hello,’ he said. ‘May I ask where I can find a place to rest?’<br />
‘Well, mister, it depends on what type of rest you’re after.’ Her voice was<br />
clear and soothing.<br />
126<br />
‘A place to drink, perhaps. I’m thirsty from the ride.’<br />
‘You know what, mister? I wouldn’t mind a drink myself!’ She erupted<br />
with laughter. Isaac looked around and laughed awkwardly with her, unsure of<br />
just what was so funny.<br />
‘The name’s Violet Bouchard.’ She reached her arm out. Isaac shook her<br />
hand.<br />
‘Isaac Smith,’ he said. She laughed again. Isaac felt sweat running down<br />
his sides.<br />
‘What is so funny? Is it my name?’ he asked<br />
‘No, darling. Rest your horse by the tavern. Come inside with me?’<br />
‘It would be my pleasure.’ Isaac gazed upon her blue eyes and her long<br />
brown hair that had been tied up in the bonnet around her head. Her figure<br />
stood out in her purple half-crinoline dress.<br />
Inside, men cheered and drank and sang along to the band. A few young<br />
men huddled together and played their instruments: a piano, a harmonica<br />
and a banjo. Old men sat in the corner playing dice. A man with burly arms<br />
carried barrels from the cellar. Another pack of men sat at a table playing<br />
cards and smoking tobacco from their pipes. The scent of tobacco caught<br />
Isaac’s nose. They found a place to sit.<br />
‘May we have two glasses over here?’ she asked the bartender. ‘So,’ she<br />
said, turning back to Isaac, ‘what brings you here? I know you’re not from<br />
around here.’<br />
‘You’re right. This is my first time in this town.’<br />
‘Where do you live?’<br />
‘About three miles down the road. Once in a while, I see caravans go by<br />
my house. Hauling goods for the town, I suppose.’<br />
‘So, have you lived there your entire life?’<br />
‘Yes, as long as I can remember.’<br />
‘By yourself?’<br />
Isaac looked away. He fixated on his glass of beer, then looked up. ‘Yes,<br />
by myself.’ The glasses were brought over and filled to the brim. They each<br />
took a sip.<br />
‘I’ll have you know the alcohol here doesn’t compare to anywhere else in<br />
the land.’<br />
Isaac didn’t realise he had drunk the whole glass so quickly. ‘I would have<br />
to agree.’<br />
127
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong><br />
For the majority of the night he glued himself to the chair, not wanting<br />
to leave Violet. The night air grew colder and they knew it was time to depart.<br />
‘Shall I see you on the morrow, sir?’<br />
‘It would be my pleasure.’ She gave him her hand and he shook it again.<br />
She laughed.<br />
‘My pardon.’<br />
‘You’re not the first,’ she said with a smile. His heart felt composed at<br />
that very moment.<br />
On the way back, Isaac’s stomach turned again. He felt queasy at the thought<br />
of returning home.<br />
‘Clarke?’ He got no response.<br />
Maybe he really did leave ... But where would he have gone to? Isaac<br />
checked upstairs, downstairs and all around, but there was no trace of Clarke.<br />
He had vanished. Isaac went into his room and passed out on his bed.<br />
He woke the next morning with no interruptions from Clarke. It felt<br />
liberating.<br />
No-one likes to be alone.<br />
He climbed onto his horse and headed for the town. Hooves kicked<br />
through the dusty road as the trees waved side to side. Behind, the grass and<br />
rocks twirled along in the wind and, for once, Isaac smiled.<br />
128<br />
How to Make Love Stay<br />
#1. Tell love you are going out to pick up a delicious cake and, if love<br />
stays, it can have half.<br />
It will stay.<br />
#2. Tell love you want a memento of it, then obtain a lock of its hair.<br />
Burn the hair in a dime-store incense burner that has yin/yang symbols<br />
on three sides.<br />
Face southwest.<br />
Talk fast over the burning hair in a convincingly exotic language.<br />
Remove the ashes of burnt hair and use them to paint a moustache<br />
on your face.<br />
Find love.<br />
Tell it you are someone new.<br />
It will stay.<br />
#3. Wake love in the middle of the night.<br />
Tell it the world is on fire.<br />
Dash to the bedroom window and throw out a pre-prepared bucket of<br />
water.<br />
Casually return to bed and assure love that everything is going to be<br />
alright.<br />
Fall asleep.<br />
Love will be there in the morning.<br />
129<br />
Emma McVinish
E.M.<br />
Tom O’Connell<br />
the chemo room<br />
is filled with oversized chairs<br />
with footstools and big armrests<br />
so patients can imagine that<br />
they are there just for<br />
a social visit<br />
Tom Jones is blaring through<br />
the speakers ‘what’s new pussycat’<br />
and patients tap their feet<br />
nervously as nurses<br />
double-check dosages<br />
against each patient’s file<br />
a lady visits the chemo room<br />
carrying a basket filled<br />
with oils and cream<br />
and offers foot massages to patients<br />
so they can act as though they’re<br />
just visiting their local masseuse<br />
but nothing can take away<br />
the burning sensation in the<br />
nose and throat of patients<br />
as the dark red fluid<br />
drips into their bodies<br />
this spring they won’t be<br />
able to smell the daffodils<br />
131<br />
Maria Leopoldo<br />
The Chemo Room
Tom O’Connell J. Richard Wrigley<br />
The Matador and the Bull<br />
Brittany shoves him once, twice, spits in his direction.<br />
Her boyfriend, Glen, leaps back, stumbles on the lip of the kerb. His<br />
arms make sad little windmills. A passerby sidesteps the spectacle and<br />
Brittany laughs, first at the passing stranger, then at Glen. She thinks long and<br />
hard about ways to hurt him. She compares him to his father, but the words<br />
falter against him; he has heard this one too many times. She brings up that<br />
fat sheila again, the one he ‘rooted last month’.<br />
Finally, his frustration bests him. He bites back, lists — for the fourth<br />
time that week — his reasons for the indiscretion. It was, he explains, a<br />
knee-jerk reaction, the unfortunate consequence of months of compounding<br />
stress. He reminds her that she is far from innocent herself. Her list of follies<br />
is lengthy: there was the handjob she gave Markus, their mutual friend, at the<br />
football; the phone abuse she inflicted on Glen’s family (because of an innocuous<br />
remark Glen’s father had made over dinner); the gross mismanagement of<br />
their welfare money; her endless stream of criticisms; the broken tail-light she<br />
never replaced; the way she refused to find work, despite dire financial straits;<br />
and the ... the ...<br />
He is shaking, has made a scene. The reasons why they shouldn’t stay<br />
together cascade over him. The Bundoora-bound 86 pulls up behind them.<br />
Brittany — red-faced and full of piss and vinegar — boards via the front<br />
entrance. On the second stair, she stops, turns, a tear trickling down her<br />
cheek, and says: ‘Well, you’re a fuckin’ dud root, you are! Stay away from this<br />
piece of shit, girls! Never once made me come in two years!’<br />
The doors close and the tram pulls away. From the middle of Smith<br />
Street, Glen watches Brittany exit his life. When at last she’s gone, he turns,<br />
walks the five paces to Woolworths and relays his story to anyone who’ll listen.<br />
He misses her already.<br />
132 133<br />
A Sunday Morning in 2040<br />
Novel Extract<br />
The old man saw the word faith emblazoned on the wall near the reception<br />
desk. It startled him anew each time he saw it. The old folk’s home, despite its<br />
motto, was generally no more religious than a chocolate Easter egg. For that he<br />
was grateful.<br />
Today, though, passing by after breakfast, he saw the warning signs of<br />
yet another Sunday: the television mute and blank, and the foot-high wooden<br />
cross being set up centre stage. Soon, the same few white heads would gather,<br />
bowed over large-print hymnals. He kept away. He retreated to his room,<br />
pushing his walking frame before him, and dressed for a walk, his second that<br />
morning.<br />
Returning, still too early to avoid the round up, the old man came up<br />
behind a woman. He thought she was called either ‘Heather’ or ‘Barbara’. She<br />
stood with her hand lingering on the doorknob closing his door, as if lost in a<br />
reverie.<br />
‘Caught you,’ he said.<br />
At the sound of his voice she turned. Her smiled broadened at the sight<br />
of his own twinkling grin.<br />
‘Fancy a hymn or two?’ she asked.<br />
‘ “Rock of ages, cleft for me,” ’ he quoted, in a creditable imitation of a<br />
Welsh accent. ‘I love the old hymns, isn’t it?’<br />
His references escaped her, as they often did.<br />
‘Come along then,’ she said, urging gently.<br />
‘Thanks, love, but I’m a practising heathen.’ This was one of his stock<br />
lines.<br />
Her eyebrows lifted at his choice of words. ‘What, you? Shenanigans<br />
under the full moon?’ she said.<br />
‘I keeps me boots on,’ he said with a wink and stepped past her, reclaiming<br />
his room.<br />
She took the hint and let the old man be.<br />
Once inside he dropped his hat onto the bed and walked over to the chesthigh<br />
shelf in the corner. He gazed at his shrine — So small these days, he
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> <strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
thought, so diminished — the gilded brass Buddha-image on its wooden stand<br />
and the row of eggcup-sized offering bowls in front of it, all resting on brocade.<br />
And behind the statue, the framed photo of his Teacher hung on the wall.<br />
He brought out the small bunch of rosebuds from where he had been<br />
hiding them, cupped in his hand. He balanced them on the lip of one of the<br />
bowls and stood, palms together, dipping his head in a bow.<br />
He is transported back to the room where, in his forties, he spent years in<br />
robed retreat. His room is small, low-ceilinged and cell-like. The rooms on the<br />
floor above project out and hang cantilevered over the verandah beyond his<br />
door. His room is deeply shaded, cave-like. It is his sanctuary. The small space<br />
is dominated by his elaborate altar and the many photos and prints populating<br />
the walls around it. The shrine keeps him company; he is happy here.<br />
There is a knock on the door; something vanishingly rare during retreat<br />
but, in this instance, expected. It is the Centre’s manager whispering, ‘He’s<br />
coming.’<br />
Richard is relieved to abandon the latter of this morning’s two sessions,<br />
which have been made near-impossible by churning anticipation. He takes up<br />
the gong; his is the fortnightly office of marking the hours.<br />
He marches around the property, gong held high, striking out a crescendo<br />
every few steps. The eight other retreatants seem just as eager for deliverance.<br />
Even before he reaches their doors some emerge, legs adjusting to standing and<br />
eyes adjusting to the light. This disruption of their strict routine, after so many<br />
months, is extraordinary. The Rinpoche is coming.<br />
So well-established is the daily round of practice — meditation, visualisation<br />
and chanting — that it has become their way of life. The Retreat Master,<br />
who instructed them, will be away for several weeks yet. He is taking advantage<br />
of this time outside Tibet to visit his family who, long ago, fled to Nepal. It is,<br />
Richard supposes, a vote of confidence that the retreatants are trusted to carry<br />
on unsupervised.<br />
They have all that they need: lunch each noon; soup each evening; and<br />
detailed instructions on what to do, while seated for the largest portion of each<br />
long day, cross-legged in front of their brocade-draped altars. Conditions are<br />
the closest to ideal that their Teacher could devise. The greatest disturbance,<br />
here on the edge of the National Park, is the shrieking of the local band of<br />
cockatoos, or the roar of high winds. Life is pared down to its simplest form,<br />
allowing them full immersion in their practice.<br />
134<br />
As the sound of the gong is carried away on the wind they quickly gather,<br />
robes flapping yet otherwise silent. They stand under the deep shade of beech<br />
and oak where the concrete meets the gravel car park. The surface is — for<br />
once — free of possum pellets, having been swept for the Rinpoche’s arrival.<br />
They wait, disciplined despite the adrenaline roiling within them and cooling<br />
their fingers.<br />
The car — a suitably splendid burgundy Lexus — blows past them and<br />
grinds around a circle in the gravel. The driver holds the doors open. He<br />
makes no eye contact with the retreatants.<br />
Their Teacher — high-ranking and world-travelling — has arranged this<br />
visit of his colleague and friend, the Rinpoche. He wants his retreatants to<br />
receive a particular initiation, maximizing the benefit of the retreat. So, here<br />
is the Rinpoche walking towards them.<br />
This is the Rinpoche? Richard had not expected a man in his forties<br />
wearing cowboy boots and jeans and sporting a ponytail. Neither had he<br />
expected him to be accompanied by a lovely blond Westerner. The assumption<br />
he makes shames him. My own dirty face in a mirror, he thinks.<br />
No time is wasted. The Rinpoche goes straight to the nearby shrine-hall<br />
and sets to work. A Tibetan monk, usually a resident of the city, is also present<br />
by prior arrangement. The monk and the Rinpoche’s attendant — the blond<br />
woman — co-operate with quiet efficiency in setting up for the ceremony. The<br />
Rinpoche takes his place, seated on a simple foot-high plinth in the middle of<br />
the floor. From his briefcase — which is stuffed to bursting — he takes the<br />
cloth-wrapped text and ritual implements. Holding these — the bell and the<br />
symbolic thunderbolt — he intones the liturgy. Around the Rinpoche, the<br />
ornate carved altar and the richly decorated walls and ceiling fade to a mere<br />
background. He sits, self-luminous, in an island of light. The text on the low<br />
table seems unnecessary; the syllables of the liturgy flow from him like water<br />
from a spring. The large room fills with the ringing of the bell, the drone of his<br />
chanting, and the thick resinous incense smoke. If there is any magic at all in<br />
this world, it is gathered here.<br />
The retreatants crouch attentively, moving forward when beckoned, one<br />
by one, to receive the empowerment. It is quickly done. The Rinpoche follows<br />
the short ceremony with a few words. Speaking softly, with his head inclined<br />
and a gaze that each feels to reach into them, he entreats them to do their<br />
best. The retreatants, their armour dissolved by months of intensive practice,<br />
135
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong><br />
feel his words as the gentle touch of a fingertip on the tenderness inside their<br />
chests.<br />
One of the retreatants is married to their Teacher. For this she receives no special<br />
consideration from him. During the retreat, her role as retreatant trumps<br />
that of wife.<br />
Nevertheless, the following day at breakfast, the Centre’s manager<br />
announces to them that their Teacher has telephoned the Centre and asked to<br />
speak with his wife. He rang to tell her he was alright.<br />
Alright, they wonder. What do you mean, alright?<br />
The Centre’s manager tells them that she has been authorised to give<br />
them news of outside events. Ordinarily this does not happen, but these are<br />
exceptional circumstances.<br />
‘Two passenger planes have been hijacked. They have crashed into the<br />
World Trade Centre,’ she tells them. ‘The towers have fallen. Thousands have<br />
died.’<br />
There is more. They can barely take it in. Their Teacher is in New York<br />
and, as anyone could guess, he is not alright at all. Nobody is. The world has<br />
— they all feel it — undergone some tectonic shift towards greater mistrust.<br />
Before the Rinpoche leaves that day, he composes a Long Life prayer<br />
for his friend, their Teacher. Such prayers are commonplace in the Tibetan<br />
tradition. With their Teacher there, in New York City, witnessing the trauma<br />
firsthand, the short verse takes on even greater meaning.<br />
The old man gazed at the faded photo of his Teacher, robed and raised on an<br />
ornate throne. It came to him that he had been present when that portrait<br />
was taken. He recalled his Teacher joking, swathed in the immensity of the<br />
inherited robe. Without thinking, the old man, his palms still together, began<br />
intoning the prayer — the Rinpoche’s short four-line verse. It came to his lips<br />
as easily as it had during the many years he had recited it daily.<br />
In sonorous, long, drawn-out syllables he intoned, ‘Om svasti …’<br />
Then, realising what he was doing, he stopped. Long-life prayers were<br />
not for the dead.<br />
136<br />
Hello Kitty<br />
Aaron Hughes
Jodie Garth<br />
Up the Garden Path<br />
It was a cold day: the biting wind swirled amongst the leaves scattered on the<br />
path and blew ripples across the glistening water of the man-made pond. A<br />
solitary gold fish skimmed just below the water’s surface, passing the day in<br />
aquatic pleasure. The pond was bordered by a single line of bluestone blocks,<br />
neatly slotted side by side like a colourless mosaic, not dissimilar to those<br />
forming the path on which the rustling leaves danced.<br />
The moist, freshly fallen golden leaves fluttered amongst the crisp brown<br />
ones, long detached from their branches and, no doubt, soon to be crunched<br />
and crushed by wanderers down the path.<br />
The wind stopped. The leaves settled into new positions on the ground<br />
and flowers ceased their waving to one another. Against the bleak backdrop<br />
of the grey April sky the flowers’ vibrant petals chirped and sang to one<br />
another, declaring that No, winter is not yet here and their spirits would not<br />
be quenched.<br />
Climbing out of the ground on stems of varying lengths, the flora<br />
splashed magenta and tangerine and crimson against the otherwise dreary<br />
landscape of green, brown and grey. One could not help but smile in the presence<br />
of such creation.<br />
A canopy of trees with outstretched arms and interlocking fingers<br />
lined the bluestone path, which led to a simple structure at the rear of the<br />
garden. The rotunda, having stood beneath the varied temperaments of the<br />
sky, observing many a passing moon, was faithful. It offered shade from the<br />
scorching heat, and shelter from angry storms. The ever-changing weather,<br />
however, had not treated this rotunda kindly; its once-white paint was now<br />
chipped and stripped from its wooden frame.<br />
Inside the rotunda sat Mrs Simpkin, hands loosely clasped in her lap.<br />
Below the bony, wrinkled fingers, across frail legs, a quilt was draped: a gaudy,<br />
geometric calamity. Mrs Simpkin’s silver hair tossed and turned in the breeze<br />
which had returned from its brief slumber. Wisps blew across her face,<br />
though she did not attempt to brush them away. She sat peacefully, a slight<br />
smile upon her lips. Mrs Simpkin had spent many afternoons in this garden,<br />
her senses refreshed by all that was on offer.<br />
Another figure entered the garden. Waddling down the path in flat<br />
138<br />
139<br />
<strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
leather shoes, her timepiece bouncing against her left breast with each step, a<br />
nurse approached.<br />
‘Oh, Mrs Simpkin, my dear. You still out ’ere? In this frigid weather?’ The<br />
nurse reached Mrs Simpkin, tucked the quilt around the old woman’s legs and<br />
set about reordering the dishevelled silver hair.<br />
Mrs Simpkin did not hear. She remained motionless, eyes fixed ahead in<br />
the direction of the cacophony of petals.<br />
‘Flowers are pretty, ain’t they? Pity winter’s on the way. These flowers<br />
won’t be ’ere much longer. Still, best enjoy ’em while we can, eh?’<br />
Mrs Simpkin did not respond.<br />
‘Ain’t that right, Mrs Simpkin?’ The nurse flashed a smile and looked<br />
into the old sapphire eyes. ‘Mrs Simpkin? ... Mrs Simpkin!’<br />
The nurse stepped back abruptly, her hands first rising to her mouth,<br />
then clasping at her chest.<br />
‘Oh, Mrs Simpkin,’ she murmured.<br />
The solitary gold fish skimmed below the pond’s surface. The leaves fluttered<br />
on the path. Mrs Simpkin sat peacefully, a slight smile upon her lips.
Dusseldorf Lake<br />
S.L. Higgins<br />
141<br />
S.L. Higgins<br />
Misandry<br />
I’ve never known heartbreak. I always prided myself on ending a relationship<br />
before I got hurt; I never got emotionally involved. I made a wall around my<br />
heart: three inches thick and ten metres high. But he got through. He swept<br />
me off my feet and made it harder to breath. He made all the clichés true and<br />
all those silly love songs make sense.<br />
But one day I caught the early train one day and saw him — and her.<br />
Michelle. I guess I had it coming: she was easy; I wasn’t. I envisioned scenarios<br />
of walking over and making a scene, or saying hi because it didn’t bother me;<br />
even though it did. But the truth is, when I saw them, it felt like someone had<br />
… it felt, as clichéd as this sounds, as though someone had sucker-punched<br />
me in the stomach.<br />
I ran off the train and waited thirty minutes in the pouring rain for the<br />
next one. I got three texts from him in that time. I ignored them. He’s with her<br />
— either hiding the fact that we’re an ‘us’, or making fun of me.<br />
When the next train arrived, I grabbed the most secluded seat I could.<br />
I’m sure I’d frighten little kids with my smudged makeup. My hair — once<br />
intricately braided into a bun — was now a destroyed plait, only half resting<br />
on my shoulder like it should.<br />
I took out my iPod and scrolled through my playlist.<br />
‘Nothing Compares 2 U’ — Sinead O’Connor<br />
‘I Will Always Love You’ — Dolly Parton<br />
‘This Kiss’ — Unknown Artist<br />
‘Unchained Melody’ — Righteous Brothers.<br />
Really? As if my day couldn’t get any worse. I kept scrolling until ‘I Hate<br />
Everything About You’ by Three Days Grace came on. Still a love song, but it<br />
works. Why did I change my playlist when I was happy in my relationship with<br />
Sebastian? Where’s my Linkin Park, Green Day, RZA, Chester Bennington —<br />
my pump up music?<br />
Ugh, this is not my day. The train was nowhere near full yet this arse<br />
decided to sit next to me. I sneezed on him, thinking he might be afraid of<br />
germs.<br />
Nope. God damn him. Why wouldn’t he piss off?<br />
‘Hi, I’m James.’ The annoying man reached out his hand.
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> <strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
‘That’s nice.’ I stared at his hand. I looked like crap: hair and make-up,<br />
clothes. Everything about me was saying ‘go away’, and he wanted to say hi?<br />
‘You are …?’<br />
‘So not in the mood to deal with an ignorant male. Thank you very<br />
much.’ His height would usually intimidate me — when he walked through<br />
the carriage he had to duck under the handle bars attached to the roof of the<br />
train — but today it just infuriated me further. Sebastian is the same height.<br />
I hoped he would take the hint. I stared out the train window; we’d<br />
just passed Footscray station. The eyesore of a bridge loomed overhead, its<br />
rounded metallic supports marring the otherwise pleasant view. How is it that<br />
all the druggies get on at St Albans? I thought it would have been Footscray or<br />
Sunshine.<br />
‘Bad break-up?’ He shuffled in the seat to get comfortable. His bag rested<br />
next to mine on the seat between us.<br />
‘Because my life revolves around men?’<br />
‘Well, your statement was pretty misogynistic.’<br />
‘I think you mean misandrist. Misogyny is the hatred of women; misandry<br />
is the hatred of men. And I don’t hate men; I hate one — well, right now,<br />
two. The cheating bastard and the one who won’t take the hint to rack off.’<br />
I just wanted to be miserable in peace. I didn’t need some random guy<br />
to solve my man troubles. Any advice from him would just backfire. Because<br />
Sebastian would think the same way. It would just blow up in my face.<br />
‘Make him jealous.’<br />
Oh ... kay. And how many times has that really worked? ‘No thanks. I will<br />
just sit here and fester for a little while before I have to see him at work with<br />
that office secretary slut. God! Why did I inter-office date? I am so stupid.’<br />
I slammed my hand against the window. I realised afterwards how much it<br />
hurt.<br />
‘You’re right. Relationships between colleagues never work. I find it<br />
easier just to sleep with them. No strings.‘<br />
Right. I should slap him, but he’s making a weird sort of sense.<br />
‘Exactly,’ I said. ‘No strings. No attachments. No feelings.’<br />
God, I must really need sleep if I agree with him.<br />
‘So, why did you let him get to you?’ He turned his knee towards me,<br />
then rummaged in his bag for an apricot yoghurt bar.<br />
‘I am not talking to you about an extinct relationship. I wouldn’t even<br />
142<br />
talk to you about an active one. I have no clue who you are.’<br />
‘Well, you know my name is James, and that I can’t tell the difference<br />
between misandry and misogyny, and that I sleep with people I work with.<br />
Anything else?’<br />
Oh, God. Do not smile. Do not smile. Do not smile. Shit. I smiled. I<br />
turned my head to look out the window so he couldn’t see.<br />
‘Where do you work? For all I know it’s at a mental institution. That<br />
would make it weird if you slept around.’<br />
‘I am the proud owner of an electricity company.’<br />
‘Because that really makes panties drop. You sleep with your clients?’ So,<br />
this guy does have half a brain.<br />
‘Surprisingly, yes. It’s like being a pool boy and working for a cougar<br />
housewife.’ He shuffled closer. ‘It’s also great for mending a broken heart.’<br />
‘Well, that wouldn’t help me. I’d need an epic rebound for that to work.’<br />
My phone beeped with an email before we entered the city loop tunnel.<br />
‘He was good?’ James wiggled his eyebrows, making me half giggle.<br />
‘Top Five. But not that … because he knew how to please, I mean<br />
payback.’<br />
‘Fool me once, shame on you?’ He rearranged his bag.<br />
‘Now arriving at Parliament Station,’ the train speakers announced.<br />
‘Well ... my stop ...’ James rose from his seat.<br />
‘Mine, too.’ I took a moment to check my reflection in the window.<br />
‘You look gorgeous.’ He handed me his card and moved towards the<br />
doors. ‘Call me if you need a rebound.’<br />
143
Anne Bowman Cassandra Andreucci<br />
The Blind Toymaker<br />
(Anti-Intelligent Design sonnet written for<br />
Albert Einstein’s birthday)<br />
Shall I compare thee to a clockwork toy?<br />
With each intricate piece designed to work,<br />
Filling its creator with pride and joy,<br />
And never so much as a random quirk?<br />
This perfect toy lives on a perfect world,<br />
Made for it through some creator’s fancy;<br />
And when the universe first churned and whirled,<br />
The plan did not include anything so chancy —<br />
As evolution, random mutation;<br />
You propose to rewrite biology?<br />
To fit your specific computation<br />
Of irreducible complexity.<br />
Okay, you might have a different take;<br />
But pure belief does not a science make.<br />
144 145<br />
Destruction<br />
The wind blows from the east as I walk home from the corn fields. The ground<br />
under my feet is blood-red and scorching hot. The sun beats down on my<br />
cheeks and sweat trickles down my back. The satchel my mother made for me<br />
is filled with corn and is very heavy as I break out from the grasses and onto<br />
the dirt road.<br />
The wind changes and picks up the dust from the earth. I start to cough;<br />
the dust tastes different in the back of my throat. I take in another breath;<br />
the choking air isn’t dust, but smoke. I look up and see some billowing ahead<br />
from the direction of the village.<br />
I start to run. My satchel bounces wildly as the smoke gets closer —<br />
that’s when I hear the scream and the gunshots.<br />
I am near the village edge and wedge myself into a crevice of the great<br />
Elder Tree. I hope that none of the rebels spot me. The howling screams from<br />
mothers in the tribe pierce my ears; is my mother one of them? Have they<br />
taken my brother?<br />
A hot tear runs down my cheeks as the curses and gunshots of the rebels<br />
draw closer. My bottom lip quivers; more tears race down my face and neck.<br />
But the gunshots and shouting suddenly stop. All that is left is the twinkling<br />
sun through the leaves on the floor, a rustling silence in the branches and the<br />
soft mournful whimpers of the mothers. I take a moment, take a few breaths,<br />
then I force myself out of the tree’s safety and onto the threshold of the<br />
village.<br />
There are bodies before me. And blood. Houses in the village centre<br />
blaze the colour of the setting sun. Black smokes plumes up into the crystal<br />
blue sky. I look down at the young men lying in the village centre. Large<br />
gashes expose their guts and smile up at me. Many bullet-holed women lie<br />
here too; blood oozing from their bodies. Pools of blood seep into the dry<br />
earth. Mothers and elders mourn over the dead and try to save the ones that<br />
hold on.<br />
This place — once a place to come together as a community and feast; a<br />
place to pray — is now desecrated by evil. I take a few more steps into the village,<br />
trembling, trying to remember something important. But all I can think<br />
of is death. I walk in the direction of my house and my neighbour cradling her
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> <strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
daughter. She is only my age, but the rebels have taken her life with a single<br />
click of their triggers. The bullet has hit her heart and blood is covering her<br />
mother’s face as she rocks her baby back and forth, waiting for her to wake.<br />
But she will not. She will never see day again.<br />
I swallow the bile rising in my throat as I hurry towards my house; there<br />
is no blood here. A small smile crosses my face and my trembling stops as I<br />
stumble into my door.<br />
‘Iyoo.’<br />
I call out to my mother in our language, rather than English. She looks<br />
up in shock. A moment passes before she breaks down into tears. She runs<br />
over and crushes me into her arms.<br />
‘My child! You are safe!’<br />
Hysterical laughter escapes both of us as we hold each other. For a while,<br />
we stay like this. We are safe. Father comes in soon after and has the same<br />
reaction as Mother. It is a strange reaction. I pull myself out of my parents’<br />
embrace.<br />
‘Where is Lukiya?’<br />
I ask for my brother but they do not answer me. They look at each other<br />
warily. Mother begins to cry again; not in joy, but in deep sorrow.<br />
Father drops his face into his hands ‘They took him. They took all of<br />
them: the boys and the young girls. The children of the village are gone, or<br />
dead. Except for you.’<br />
He goes over to his wife to stop her from fainting, but I am the one that<br />
collapses. My brother — only twelve — has been taken by those monsters.<br />
They will make him do bad things; they will make him kill.<br />
For the rest of the night, Mother and I stay huddled up together, sleeping<br />
and waking often in tears. Father helps the elders to prepare the dead and<br />
help the injured in the village centre. I think of my brother the whole night;<br />
his innocent face and kind nature.<br />
Will he survive the torture he will endure? Will they kill him for not<br />
being brave? Will they break him? An image of my sweet brother holding a<br />
gun — blood spattered all over him — creeps into my mind. When I awaken,<br />
I’m screaming. Mother wakes, too. I tell her about the image and we both cry<br />
for brother.<br />
Father comes back for the night. He curls up on the other side of me and<br />
we all fall into a tiresome and dreamless sleep.<br />
146<br />
I wake to the beat of drums. For one moment, my heart races; maybe it<br />
was all just a dream. I jolt up, a smile on my face, and listen closely to the beat.<br />
It is the beat of the dead. As I bring myself to my feet, my face falls and I walk<br />
out into the blistering sun. I squint at the sudden brightness and make my<br />
way to the village centre. I walk towards the Elder Tree; the tree itself appears<br />
in mourning for its people lying under it, lifeless.<br />
I swallow and join the elders, surviving tribe members (both injured and<br />
not), and my parents. We are amongst the dead. The Chief Elder belts out<br />
prayers for the Elder Tree and the Earth to take these dead into its arms and<br />
bring them peace. The drums beat slowly, sombrely, in the background, and<br />
the remaining villagers sing slow songs of sorrow and peace.<br />
After the funeral service, the men in the village take the dead to their<br />
resting place just out of the village’s boundary. The Elders and the rest of the<br />
village take shelter under the Elder Tree in a loose circle.<br />
Chief Elder starts the meeting by discussing the absence of youth in the<br />
village. Mothers begin to sob; some look at me strangely. I feel uncomfortable,<br />
but try to focus my attention on Chief Elder. He smiles at me with a pained<br />
expression; his great grandchildren were taken from him. Chief Elder brings<br />
the attention back to him and discusses the restoration of the village buildings<br />
that were destroyed in the attack.<br />
I zone out for these mundane discussions and watch the sun’s rays<br />
through the tree leaves. They seem to dance and play in the leaves like the<br />
children once did in the giant limbs of this tree. A single tear runs down my<br />
cheek as the memory clouds my eyes. It brings a smile to my face.<br />
Then the loneliness hits me; I look away from the dancing rays, to the<br />
road leading out of the village. I see the men returning to the circle.<br />
They sit beside their wives and throughout the group, keeping strong<br />
expressions even though they are hurting as much as — or even more than —<br />
the women. Once the men settle in and the restoration discussion comes to an<br />
end, the Chief Elder gets to the big question of whether or not to go after the<br />
rebels and rescue the children.<br />
Everyone is silent for a moment. Then chaos erupts through the entire<br />
circle. The injured are fearful and condemn the idea. Some men get up, ready<br />
to go after their children; some shake their heads. Some women beg their husbands<br />
not to risk their lives; others beg for them to save their babies.<br />
My heart starts racing again. Brother can be saved. But will the men of<br />
the village save him?<br />
1<strong>47</strong>
Akosombo Quartet<br />
William Hallett
Aftermath<br />
Bernard O’Connor<br />
Flooded<br />
Veronica Bauer
Bronwyn Lovell Rattanbir Dhariwal<br />
Recipe<br />
Preparation time: 21 years<br />
Cooking time: 10 years<br />
Ingredients: Bones, guts, whimsy<br />
Method:<br />
1. Combine ingredients and mix together in a bowl until they form<br />
a spongy dough.<br />
2. Cover with a tourist tea-towel and leave in a moderately warm<br />
suburban family until risen twice as tall.<br />
3. Send to school daily. Allow the mixture to be pushed down<br />
repeatedly until it reduces to half its size. Let it rest and rise again.<br />
4. Remove from family. Toss and stretch until its shape begins<br />
to bounce back quickly.<br />
5. Bake until a thick skin forms. Then enjoy. Best served with<br />
a movie and glass of red wine. Flavour will improve with age.<br />
152 153<br />
Grandpa<br />
The year was 1907, and Grandpa was born into a family of wealthy landlords.<br />
His place of birth was called Kot Lakha Singh. It was named after his greatgrandfather,<br />
who had been rewarded with the ownership of that land on<br />
account of the valour he had shown in one of the wars during the eighteenth<br />
century.<br />
Grandpa was the only son, so he had a privileged upbringing. He grew<br />
up to be a fine horseman, a wise farmer and a well-built, handsome young<br />
man. There was an aura of invincibility around him and he became a much<br />
respected person of the area. His fame would also attract foes, ever-conspiring<br />
to eliminate him and take his land. There was an attempt on his life, the<br />
marks of which were permanently left on his body in the form of three sword<br />
wounds.<br />
Life, as we all know, is a great leveller that does not necessarily wait for<br />
judgement day to deliver justice. One of the great certainties of life is uncertainty<br />
and my grandfather, despite being in the good books of lady luck, was<br />
not going to be an exception to the laws of nature.<br />
The year was 19<strong>47</strong>: Grandpa was forty, Grandma was thirty and my father was<br />
one year old. The British left India; the new people in charge exulted that the<br />
British crumbled under the pressure created by their peaceful agitations. But<br />
the fact was, affording India was now a luxury for the Crown, who was already<br />
reeling under the stresses of World War II. A new country, Pakistan, was created<br />
and the Indian subcontinent witnessed the largest human migration in<br />
mankind’s history. Under the new transfer of land laws, people moving from<br />
India to Pakistan would get a multiplied proportion of the land they left in<br />
India, whereas the land share of people moving from Pakistan to India was to<br />
be divided.<br />
We were the unfortunate ones; for us, there was a cruel definition for this<br />
new so-called freedom. From being the proud possessors of more than two<br />
hundred and fifty acres of fertile land we were reduced to being the humble<br />
farmers of a mere twenty-five acres — and that too was in split locations. So<br />
the smaller farms were sold off and the family built a house near the largest<br />
block of farmland. Grandpa was now faced with the daunting task of raising
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong><br />
four children with limited resources. Education for his children was topmost<br />
on Grandpa’s agenda, and he did not let financial restraints get in the way of<br />
his children’s academic ambitions. My father requested that Grandpa let him<br />
work on the farm, but he was told to focus only on his studies.<br />
The year was 1979 and I was born. My father was now a college professor and<br />
my mother was also working, so we moved to the accommodation provided by<br />
the college. My grandparents, however, stayed in the village and our weekend<br />
trips there gave us immense joy. Our grandparents showed us genuine love<br />
and affection.<br />
Old age was now fast catching up with my grandparents, so my father<br />
decided to bring them to the city to live with us. Grandpa missed the village<br />
and so my father made a point of taking him to the village once every<br />
fortnight.<br />
The year was 1997 and Grandpa was now ninety. He had lost his memory and<br />
struggled to recognise his wife, his son and his grandchildren. All he could<br />
remember was his glory days; the days when he was a maverick. Suddenly<br />
we would hear names — names that were known only to Grandma, and to<br />
some extent, my father. These names were of my grandpa’s friends and girlfriends<br />
who once again made an entry into his life even though only in his<br />
imagination.<br />
Grandma passed away in July of that year, followed by Grandpa in<br />
December. Their memories still follow us.<br />
The year was 2007. My daughter was born. Life goes on.<br />
154<br />
Awesome Anderson played his legendary riff.<br />
The crowd cheered.<br />
The crescendo reached ever higher<br />
As Euridium’s voice effortlessly matched his notes.<br />
‘We’ve never been better,’ Awesome said later.<br />
Back at the hotel, the coke appeared.<br />
Somehow, this time, the peak was easier ...<br />
Lights so bright, their eyes were burning.<br />
Awesome turned to look at the TV.<br />
When he looked at Euridium again,<br />
He found her lying across the bed ...<br />
Next day, he rehearsed alone.<br />
She came to in time for the show,<br />
Her voice as angelic as always.<br />
Awesome wondered how she did it ...<br />
Half spaced, but unfazed.<br />
That night the lines were snaky,<br />
Premonitions plagued Awesome’s mind,<br />
Yet nothing seemed out of place ...<br />
Must be getting paranoid, he told himself.<br />
Euridium didn’t stir when he got into bed<br />
Her breathing shallow ...<br />
Awesome was too stoned to notice.<br />
When he woke up, he saw her lips were blue.<br />
The ambulance sped her to safety<br />
‘Another hour and she’d have been dead,’ the doctor said.<br />
Hospitals aren’t always depressing, Awesome thought.<br />
Should’ve listened to my intuition.<br />
155<br />
Tony Stark<br />
Awesome and Euridium
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> <strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
‘Due to a family emergency, tonight’s show has been postponed ...’<br />
The official line that no-one contradicted.<br />
They both recovered well from the scare<br />
And let the performances provide their thrills.<br />
Six months later, temptation led to danger.<br />
A lethal combination,<br />
With no ambulance to save the day;<br />
Euridium took a one-way trip.<br />
Awesome wanted to join her.<br />
‘It’s not your time,’ the light told him.<br />
‘You have to go back.’<br />
He thought of Euridium every time he played.<br />
He dedicated all his shows to her ...<br />
Played better than anyone could ever wish.<br />
It was like Euridium’s spirit inhabited his body ...<br />
New inspirations came easily.<br />
Solo artistry fired his soul ...<br />
Increasing popularity and loneliness;<br />
Two sides of the coin, with depths no-one else could touch,<br />
He saw her in his dreams.<br />
He talked to her photo,<br />
He remembered her kisses.<br />
The emptiness deepened ...<br />
Yet the despair inspired creativity.<br />
He’d been clean for two years,<br />
Then he had an offer he couldn’t refuse.<br />
The needle stuck tight as he felt the rush<br />
No-one to save him this time.<br />
156<br />
The TV blared his latest video clip.<br />
No-one heard his last words ...<br />
His voice soared,<br />
Unearthly choirs joined in.<br />
The moon and stars seemed brighter<br />
And peace descended.<br />
Time stood still ... at least for Awesome.<br />
Millions mourned the world’s biggest star.<br />
‘He reached depths no-one else dared to,’ the TV said.<br />
His songs played around the clock<br />
And no-one forgot ...<br />
An inspiration to all who came after him.<br />
Centuries later he was still acclaimed ...<br />
The greatest musician who ever lived.<br />
Awesome ... no name more apt,<br />
No tune too hard.<br />
157
Rock Angel<br />
Bernard O’Connor<br />
159<br />
Mary Stephenson<br />
In Trouble<br />
‘So, what happened?’ Miss Lowell leaned over the desk towards him.<br />
Daniel tried to focus on the carpet. It looked the same as the carpets at<br />
home. He brushed his shoe against it, but he wasn’t sure.<br />
‘Daniel?’ Was she becoming impatient? He couldn’t tell.<br />
His tongue felt thick against his teeth. He was finding it difficult to see,<br />
let alone speak.<br />
She pushed a tissue into his hand. He looked up and almost caught her<br />
eye but turned away just in time. Damn, it was reflex to look at her, a way of<br />
saying thanks. He wiped his mouth and checked the smear; he couldn’t tell if<br />
it was blood or dirt. Daniel inspected his knuckles, and then turned over his<br />
hands to look at the palms. Scrunching up the tissue, he began to brush away<br />
the tiny bits of gravel embedded in the skin.<br />
‘Okay, Daniel, first things first: let’s get you cleaned up. What have you<br />
got now?’<br />
He reached into his pocket for his timetable and tried to make sense of<br />
it. For a second he wasn’t sure what day it was, let alone the period.<br />
‘Daniel, it’s Wednesday, period three.’<br />
His head remained bent over the piece of paper.<br />
‘Are you going to ring my parents, Miss?’<br />
‘They’ll want to know what happened.’<br />
‘Do you have to?’ His voice quavered, betraying him. He lowered his head<br />
closer, willing the shapes on the paper to form into letters.<br />
‘It’s school policy, Daniel. Your parents have the right to know.’<br />
‘I’ve got double English, Miss.’<br />
‘I’ll let your teacher know that you are with me.’<br />
When she returned he followed her to the sick bay.<br />
‘You had better wash your hands.’<br />
Daniel pushed back his sleeves. He took his time, avoiding his reflection<br />
in the small mirror above the basin. Miss Lowell pulled on a pair of gloves and<br />
began to dab disinfectant on his hands.<br />
‘Your teacher says I should ask you about Lionel. What’s going on<br />
between you two?’<br />
Daniel shrugged his shoulders. ‘Nothing, Miss.’
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> <strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
She dabbed lotion under his eye. He kept his eyes shut.<br />
‘Do you normally hang around together? Tip your head back and look at<br />
the wall behind me.’<br />
Miss Lowell pulled down his lower eyelid lid.<br />
Daniel found the eye drops soothing.<br />
‘So,’ said Miss Lowell, ‘what’s Lionel got to do with this?’<br />
‘Nothing, we’re just in the same English class, Miss.’<br />
‘Do you sit near him?’<br />
Daniel could taste the bitterness of the drops at the back of his tongue.<br />
He swallowed.<br />
‘He usually sits in front of me and Jude.’<br />
‘Do you talk to him?’<br />
‘No.’<br />
‘What about Jude?’<br />
‘Sometimes Jude asks him to move his head so he can see the board.’<br />
‘Does he say it nicely?’<br />
‘Nah.’<br />
‘So, he would say something like, “Hey, move your big, fat, ugly head?” ’<br />
‘Something like that.’<br />
‘Or worse?’<br />
‘Maybe.’<br />
‘What does Lionel do when Jude asks him to move his head?’<br />
‘He turns around and swears at us.’<br />
‘And what do you do?’<br />
‘Nothing, Miss.’<br />
‘And Jude?’<br />
‘Jude says it wasn’t him and just laughs.’<br />
‘And what does your teacher do about all this?’<br />
‘Nothing, Miss’<br />
‘Doesn’t he notice anything?’<br />
‘He doesn’t know how to control the class, Miss.’<br />
‘You know what I always say about that, don’t you?’<br />
‘Yes, Miss,’ but Daniel couldn’t remember all of it. Something about<br />
power and self-restraint something or other.<br />
‘Is that all? What happens after Jude laughs?’<br />
‘Nothing?’<br />
160<br />
‘What? You just stop?’<br />
‘Well, sometimes Jude might push the back of Lionel’s chair or knock his<br />
hat off.’<br />
‘What does Lionel do?’<br />
‘He says to cut it out. Sometimes he threatens to get us.’<br />
‘Both of you?’<br />
‘Yeah, but he always looks at me.’<br />
‘So, what happened today?’<br />
‘Jude and me went to the canteen and we were just sitting down near the<br />
oval. Lionel comes up and he asks for a bite of Jude’s sausage roll. Jude breaks<br />
off a bit and throws it on the ground and says, ‘’Eat that!” and he calls him an<br />
effin’ c-word — sorry, Miss — and then he just runs off.’<br />
‘Who runs off? Jude?’<br />
‘Yeah.’<br />
‘Then what?’<br />
‘Then, Lionel asks me for some of mine. I go to give him some, Miss, and<br />
he grabs the whole sausage roll. I was shocked, Miss. I go, “What the fuck!”<br />
Oh! Sorry, Miss!’<br />
‘It’s alright; go on.’<br />
‘So, I stand up and I go to hit him, but when I see his face I suddenly<br />
stop. He calls me a sick c-word, and then he just punches me in the mouth.’<br />
‘O—kay ... Jude starts it and you get punched?’<br />
‘Nah, yeah.’<br />
‘Then what?’<br />
‘Then the next thing I know, Lionel hits me in the eye and grabs me<br />
around the neck.’<br />
‘Then what?’<br />
‘Can’t remember, but I’m on the ground and Lionel’s gone. And then,<br />
yeah, and then Jude comes back and he’s trying to help me up. Then the yard<br />
duty teacher, Mr— Mr— the Woodwork teacher with the glasses ...’<br />
‘Mr Hardiman?’<br />
‘Yeah, Mr Hardiman. He comes over and tells me and Jude to stop fighting.<br />
Jude goes, “We’re not fighting, sir.” And then he says, “Just get to your<br />
coordinator, now.” ’<br />
‘Why didn’t Jude come with you?’<br />
‘Don’t know.’<br />
161
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> <strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
‘Are you right to come back to my office? I’ll have to write this down.’<br />
When they reached the office, Miss Lowell continued to probe. ‘What<br />
stopped you from hitting him?’<br />
Daniel focussed on the bandage on his hand. ‘It felt weird, Miss. I can’t<br />
explain it. I wanted to real bad, but I couldn’t. There was something in his<br />
eyes. I don’t know. It didn’t feel right, you know? I don’t know; it just didn’t<br />
feel right.’<br />
‘Have you left anything out?’<br />
‘No, Miss. Maybe a few swear words.’<br />
She picked up the phone.<br />
‘I’ll have to let your parents know that you’ve been in a fight.’<br />
Daniel looked at the carpet. His vision was still a bit blurry.<br />
‘Could it be my mum, please?’<br />
He could hear the house phone ring out. Then Miss Lowell dialled his<br />
mother’s mobile and he listened as that too went to Messagebank.<br />
‘There’s no answer, Daniel. I don’t like leaving messages about matters<br />
like this. Parents tend to panic and think the worst. I’ll have to call your father.’<br />
Daniel thought the carpet looked a bit clearer. ‘Do you really have to,<br />
Miss?’<br />
Miss Lowell began to dial.<br />
‘It’s okay, Daniel. You’re not in trouble. I don’t think you’re at fault.’<br />
‘You don’t understand, Miss. He’s a sergeant in the army.’<br />
She paused.<br />
‘Aren’t they allowed to accept personal calls?’<br />
‘No, it’s not that. I’ll get into trouble.’<br />
‘But you’re the one who got beaten up!’<br />
‘Yeah, Miss.’<br />
Daniel raised his head and looked at the noticeboard on the wall behind<br />
her.<br />
‘Didn’t even throw a punch, did you?’ she continued.<br />
‘No. That’s the problem.’<br />
‘I see.’ Miss Lowell replaced the hand-piece. He was grateful that she<br />
didn’t push for more.<br />
‘Well, I don’t have to do it straight away. As long as I do it before you get<br />
home. Maybe your mum will pick up before then. I’ll try again later. You can<br />
sit here until the next bell.’<br />
162<br />
She began to write her report.<br />
Daniel’s gaze returned to the carpet. He thought of Lionel. It was weird.<br />
When he had gone to hit him, they had locked eyes. He hadn’t looked at<br />
Lionel before — well, he had looked at him, but he hadn’t really noticed him,<br />
hadn’t taken him in. It was as if he was seeing him for the first time. Lionel<br />
had looked kind of apologetic. Sad, too; almost as if he didn’t want to punch<br />
him. Yet he had still gone ahead and done so and more! Why would he do<br />
that? Why do something if you don’t really want to do it? He thought of his<br />
dad. Daniel scraped his foot along the carpet. He could see better now —<br />
yeah, it was exactly the same colour as the one at home. It even had those tiny<br />
white flecks through it. He continued to stare at the carpet and thought of<br />
Lionel. He straightened himself in the chair.<br />
‘Miss?’ He looked her straight in the eyes. ‘It’s okay, Miss.’ He pulled back<br />
his shoulders, holding her gaze. ‘Go ahead, phone him, me dad.’<br />
163
Luneberg<br />
S.L. Higgins<br />
165<br />
Danielle Gori<br />
The Beach<br />
I remember that day on the beach like it was yesterday. The sun on my skin,<br />
slowly turning me a warm brown, the colour of summer. They say a tan is<br />
only skin deep, but I disagree. That summer I felt as though the warmth of<br />
the sun tanned my whole being and transformed me. Carefree and young, I<br />
had nothing to lose and wasn’t yet worried about gaining anything.<br />
I climbed to the top of the rocks and walked carefully along their jagged<br />
surface. Most people wore thongs or reef shoes to protect their feet,<br />
but I didn’t. I had been walking down my street shoeless for months, building<br />
up my soles for that very moment. I continued on alone, breathing in<br />
the sea air and looking out over the ocean that I would someday cross. At<br />
that moment however, I was perfectly content where I was.<br />
I stopped in a small cove — one of the best places to collect seashells.<br />
I sat cross-legged with a small bucket that I had brought along for the purpose<br />
and started sifting through the sand. I found them: tiny little shells<br />
which had once been home to tiny little creatures. I favoured the shells<br />
with small holes in them; they were the ones that I could use to make a<br />
necklace.<br />
Braiding the threads from my towel — which I had carefully pulled<br />
free with my teeth — I wove the shells in one by one. I tied the necklace<br />
around my neck and as I did so I made a wish, as was my tradition. I<br />
believed that when the threads wore down and the necklace finally came<br />
apart that my wish would come true.<br />
I continued on along the rocks, climbing higher and higher. I spread<br />
my arms wide and closed my eyes, tilting my head up toward the heavens. I<br />
took a deep breath, then walked on my tiptoes along the very edge. I knew<br />
that I wouldn’t fall; I’m sure it was that faith that kept me safe. I spotted<br />
a rock pool below and made my way towards it. The water was clear and<br />
blue, and I knew that it would feel as good as it looked. The pool was twice<br />
as deep as it was wide. I lowered myself in and allowed myself to sink to<br />
the bottom. The water was crisp and comforting, like a familiar embrace.
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong><br />
Small fish swam around my feet, and the seaweed that danced and swayed at<br />
the pool’s edge clung to my skin. I could taste the ocean: a mixture of salt and<br />
sea plants. I swam up toward the light and broke through the surface. Then I<br />
climbed out of the rock pool and walked slowly back towards the beach.<br />
166<br />
The shattered vase of consciousness pours out<br />
the dribs and drabs of dreams forgotten,<br />
the leftover childhood fancies,<br />
the deeply buried hopes.<br />
Sing it again.<br />
The shattered vase of consciousness pours out<br />
the filthy side of everyday people,<br />
the shameful thoughts no-one has,<br />
the violence within.<br />
Sing it again.<br />
The shattered vase of consciousness pours out<br />
that love is just dependency,<br />
that friendship is acceptable extortion,<br />
that hatred is what drives us all.<br />
Sing it again.<br />
Here’s to you, my shattered friend — broken down into molecules.<br />
Here’s to you, you illusion robbed — the truth will come out eventually<br />
Here’s to you, reality, my friend — crush them all to dust.<br />
Sing it again.<br />
Here’s to you, what they call home — an empty box.<br />
Here’s to you, what they call career — a set of chains.<br />
Here’s to you, what they call motherhood — feet in cement.<br />
Sing it again.<br />
Here’s to you — let us rejoice.<br />
Here’s to you — for we are nearly there.<br />
Here’s to you, and me, and them, for we are all denied.<br />
Sing it again.<br />
167<br />
Veronica Bauer<br />
Sing It Again
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong><br />
What was that? The suits ask their desks.<br />
What was that? The heaving belly asks the heart.<br />
What was that? The typing fingers ask their head.<br />
Sing it again.<br />
That was me, the rule of thumb replies.<br />
That was me, the taxman says.<br />
That was me, the politicians shout.<br />
But it was me.<br />
Sing it again.<br />
168<br />
Skulls<br />
Bernard O’Connor
Bukowski<br />
Bernard O’Connor<br />
Shakespeare and Co.<br />
Bernard O’Connor
Warwick Sprawson<br />
Biofictography<br />
Warwick Sprawson<br />
Since completing RMIT’s Professional Writing and Editing Course, Warwick’s<br />
writing has appeared in numerous publications including The Moreland<br />
Leader and The Frankston Standard. He is currently working on a fiction<br />
novel.<br />
Warwick Sprawson<br />
Warwick is an acclaimed Australian novelist. He has published three novels<br />
and two books of poetry, including his most recent, Allow Myself to Introduce<br />
Myself (Pepper Publishing, 2009). He has twice won the Tony Towers Tidy<br />
Town Award and teaches creative writing at Victoria University.<br />
Warwick Sprawson<br />
Warwick’s recent biography Shades of Me won the inaugural Furlong Fiction<br />
Award and has subsequently been produced as a confusing play. He was<br />
awarded the Pascall Prize for Criticism in 2011, although he thought it sucked.<br />
Warwick Sprawson<br />
Warwick used to write good stuff, long ago, sometime in the early 90s.<br />
Publishers continue to print his work in the hope a familiar name on the cover<br />
will increase sales. Everybody humours him.<br />
Warwick Sprawson<br />
Warwick lives in Brunswick, likes gardening and patting his dog, Spike.<br />
When not writing, he makes a living being nice to people and selling organic<br />
oranges.<br />
Warwick Sprawson<br />
Earwig monkey bars flyscreen-door. Earwig heirloom toenail broomcloset.<br />
Handkerchiefs. Tendril silk doorknob hand grenades. Blistered headlight<br />
twigs.<br />
172<br />
173<br />
<strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
Warwick Sprawson<br />
Warwick Sprawson knows the publisher, or else they’d never publish his<br />
arrangements of turgid stools. He plugs their stuff on his blog and they occasionally<br />
print one of his stories. Get over it, people. It’s the way the world<br />
works.<br />
Warwick Sprawson<br />
Warwick lives in a gently crumbling terrace house in the inner-city. A recipient<br />
of a generous Arts Victoria grant, he spends his days writing, drinking<br />
tea and petting his beloved chickens, Galli and Betty. A bidding war over his<br />
acclaimed first novel meant that he could buy a large estate somewhere warm,<br />
like Queensland or Vietnam, with spending money left over. Since finding<br />
inner-peace he has stopped receiving rejection letters.<br />
Warwick Sprawson<br />
Warwick’s just this guy, you know? He’s not really this or that, he just kind<br />
of is. Whatever. He’s had some stuff published, I guess, but he’s really more<br />
into other things, you know, more real things, things with heft and weight like<br />
painting and carpentry and smoking and shit.<br />
Warwick Sprawson<br />
1.) Warwick Sprawson is A) 21 B) 53 C) 37 D) 12<br />
2.) He has been published in A) Southerly B) Unusual Works C) On the<br />
Internet D) On walls<br />
3.) Warwick Sprawson is a teacher of A) Yoga B) Safety with Hammers<br />
C) Creative Writing D) Insolence<br />
4.) & 5.) He divides his time between A) London B) New York<br />
C) Frankston D) The Laundromat and A) Castlemaine B) Paris<br />
C) Frankston D) Homelessness<br />
6.) Warwick Sprawson is currently working on a A) Chicken burrito<br />
B) Computer C) Young occult novel D) New hairstyle
Author Bios<br />
Cassandra Andreucci<br />
Some years ago a baby was born, named Cassandra Andreucci. And now<br />
that she’s older, she has no fucking clue how she’s survived this long and not<br />
been locked up for her filthy mind. Between daydreaming of her one true<br />
love (locked up in handcuffs) and accidentally falling into the minds of her<br />
characters — it’s a wonder she has a job or a social life. How does she do this?<br />
Because she’s awesome.<br />
Gabrielle Balatinacz<br />
After moving around so much, Gabrielle has settled here in Melbourne. She<br />
enrolled in the Writing and Editing course to follow her interest in writing<br />
after her life-plan backfired and she had left nothing else but her dream.<br />
Veronica Bauer<br />
The immigrant country-bumpkin from Bavaria did not come on a boat, but<br />
could build one with all the paper from chucked-out first drafts. While her<br />
career is still under construction, Veronica lives with her partner and two dogs<br />
in domestic bliss in Northcote.<br />
Anne Bowman<br />
Anne Bowman’s anagram is: ‘I own an amber name’, and she wears amber to<br />
represent the Baltic side of her origins. In the land of her birth, Emily Brontë’s<br />
ghost whispered across the moors into her mother’s womb, and thus the child<br />
grew up with a liking for all things dark and spooky.<br />
Rattanbir Dhariwal<br />
Rattanbir Singh Dhariwal is an extremist to the core. The lesson he has learnt<br />
after three years of full-time taxi driving in Melbourne is that one has to stick<br />
to a lane to reach a destination.<br />
174<br />
Isabelle Dupré<br />
My, myself, the selves of I.<br />
Simon Exley<br />
Simon Exley is a poet, a student and a contributor to <strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong>.<br />
175<br />
<strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
Jodie Garth<br />
Jodie enjoys writing stories and poems to entertain children. She hopes to<br />
work as a freelance editor around entertaining her own children.<br />
Samuel Gillard<br />
Samuel Gillard has a passion for writing, e-sports and K-pop (though some<br />
would argue he is more interested in the pretty Korean girls). He enjoys<br />
fantasy but isn’t afraid of other genres. One day he will achieve his dream of<br />
finishing his novel, hoping the book will inspire people.<br />
Danielle Gori<br />
Danielle Gori is a world traveller, a collector of books and a writer. She is<br />
always seeking out new adventures and experiences and then writing about<br />
them. She currently lives in her hometown of Melbourne with her loving boyfriend<br />
and their rabbit, Bunnykins.<br />
William Hallett<br />
Enjoys writing and photography above all else. He loves dinosaurs, and he’ll<br />
continue to love and study dinosaurs until the day he discovers a way to resurrect<br />
them from their fossils and unleash them upon the world. Then he will<br />
reign supreme as ‘The Dinosaur King’! He also loves cats.
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> <strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
S. L. Higgins<br />
As she types this, Shevon Higgins is arguing with her insurance company. She<br />
has smoked with Norman Reedus, Jonathan Frakes and Nicholas Brendon.<br />
She’s drooled over Adam Baldwin with Sean Maher. On occasion she writes<br />
stuff. Her latest literary adventure has been described as ‘Downton Abbey<br />
meets Sherlock Holmes’.<br />
Aaron Hughes<br />
Editor-in-training. Aspiring writer. Former PA. Olympic Speed Typist. Weightloss<br />
success story. Recovering Queenslander. Shower singer. Chocoholic. Neat<br />
freak. Chatterer. Member: Tall Show-Tune-Queens of Australia (TSA). Motto:<br />
‘Try everything except incest and folk-dancing.’<br />
Norman Jensen<br />
Norman was born to poor but honest parents in 1963 (he still remembers the<br />
1st Moon Landing) in Geelong. He fled to Melbourne in 1984 and has habitually<br />
associated with musicians, artists and poets. He considers himself a poet<br />
and is a co-convenor of the Poetry Readings at the Dan O’Connell Hotel in<br />
Carlton every Saturday.<br />
Helen Krionas<br />
Helen Krionas is a storyteller from Melbourne. She never learned how to<br />
swim. When she grows up she wants to be Elaine Benes.<br />
Maria Leopoldo<br />
Maria has been doing a creative writing class for about four years and thought<br />
it was about time that she experienced the highs and lows of submitting her<br />
work to literary journals. This is her second poem to be published. She’s really<br />
enjoying the highs.<br />
176<br />
Bronwyn Lovell<br />
Bronwyn Lovell is an emerging poet living in Melbourne. Her poetry has<br />
been published in Antipodes, Cordite Poetry Review and the Global Poetry<br />
Anthology. She was shortlisted for the 2011 Montreal International Poetry<br />
Prize. www.bronwynlovell.com<br />
Myron Lysenko<br />
Myron Lysenko is a well-known Melbourne poet and former teacher of poetry<br />
at <strong>NMIT</strong>.<br />
Emma McVinish<br />
Emma McVinish believes in love, red dresses, and the Power of Three. She also<br />
thinks that the jerk who designed the Water Temple should be pushed down a<br />
flight of stairs. In a tricky situation, she asks herself ‘W.W.N.D.D?’<br />
Jessica Morris<br />
Jessica is 5 ft 6 in, with blue eyes and a serious stance. A keen lover of life, she<br />
enjoys taking deep breaths and putting pen to mouth. She also likes to drink<br />
Manhattans and open mail. Jessica has thoroughly loved her year at <strong>NMIT</strong>.<br />
Tom O’Connell<br />
Tom O’Connell honours his lineage by averaging twelve cups of English<br />
Breakfast tea a day. Incidentally, he often has trouble sleeping. His biggest<br />
aspiration is to find work as a professional editor.<br />
Bernard O’Connor<br />
Bernard O’Connor began the year wanting to learn about writing and ended<br />
up taking photos of imaginary places and thinks he should have done a photography<br />
course instead.<br />
177
<strong>INfusion</strong> <strong>47</strong> <strong>Summer</strong> Edition ‘12<br />
Annerliegh Grace McCall<br />
Annerliegh is an emerging writer. She is studying a creative writing degree at<br />
Melbourne University and finds inspiration in ordinary people and everyday<br />
experiences<br />
Sonia Sanjiven<br />
Despite her killer looks, sultry charm, enviable style and Colgate smile, Sonia<br />
Sanjiven ain’t so bad at writing, really. Her aim in life is to be one of the ninetynine<br />
problems in a very attractive musician’s life. Sometimes, the bitch is one.<br />
Warwick Sprawson<br />
See pages 170-171<br />
Mary Stephenson<br />
Born in Greece, 1954. Survived Collingwood. Thrived in Nillumbik Shire.<br />
Retired English teacher. Now enjoying the creation of stories, rather than the<br />
correction of essays. Once a romantic but now a realist who has occasional<br />
lapses into sentimentalism.<br />
Tony Stark<br />
Tony Stark is enjoying the intellectual challenge of the Diploma of<br />
Professional Writing and Editing. Learning the rules of different writing formats<br />
is a stretch, but he is endeavouring to continue raising his standards as<br />
he makes his way through the course.<br />
Heather Troy<br />
After completing an undergraduate degree in creative writing, Heather is currently<br />
gearing up to hand in her honours thesis in cinema studies. She enjoys<br />
writing on issues around gender and sexuality in film, and hopes to continue<br />
this work next year in a PhD.<br />
178<br />
J. Richard Wrigley<br />
Was born in Yorkshire in 1953. By a series of fortunate incidents he finds himself<br />
now living in Melbourne, retired from nursing, impassioned by writing and supported<br />
by a wonderful patron of the arts, to whom he is married.<br />
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