LOOM AND SPINDLE OR Life Among the Early Mill Girls WITH A ...

In the spring of 1840 there was a great revival in Lowell, and some of the little girls held
prayer-meetings, after school, at each other's houses, and many of them "experienced
religion." I went sometimes to these meetings, and one night, when I was walking home
by starlight, for the days were still short, one of the older girls said to me, "Are you
happy?" "Do you love Jesus?" "Do you want to be saved?"—"Why, yes," I answered.
"Then you have experienced religion," said the girl; "you are converted."
I was startled at the idea, but did not know how to deny it, and I went home in an exalted
state of feeling; and, as I looked into the depths of the heavens above me, there came to
my youthful mind the first glimmer of thought on spiritual themes.
It was an awakening, but not a conversion, for I had been converted from nothing to
nothing. I was at once claimed as a "young convert," went to the church prayer-meeting,
told my "experience" as directed, and was put on probation for admission to the church.
Meanwhile, I had been advised not to ask my mother's consent to this step, because she
was a Universalist, and might object. But I did not follow this advice; and when I told her
of my desire, she simply answered, "If you think it will make you any happier, do so, but
I do not believe you will be satisfied." I have allvays been very thankful to my mother for
giving me this freedom in my young life,--
"Not to be followed hourly, watched and noosed,"–
this chance in such an important matter to learn to think and to act for myself. In fact, she
always carried out this principle, and never to my recollection coerced her children on
any important point, but taught them to "see for themselves."
When the day came for me to be admitted into the church, I, with many other little girls,
was sprinkled; and, when I stood up to repeat the creed, I can truly say that I knew no
more what were the doctrines to which I was expected to subscribe, than I did about the
Copernican System or the Differential Calculus. And I might have said, with the disciples
at Ephesus, I "have not so much as heard whether there be any Holy Ghost." For,
although I had been regularly to church and to Sunday-school, I had never seen the
Articles of Belief, nor had I been instructed concerning the doctrines, or the sacredness of
the vow I was about to take upon me. Nor, from the frequent backsliding among the
young converts, do I think my case was a singular one, although, so far as I know, I was
the only one who backslid enough to be excommunicated.
And later, when I was requested to subscribe to the Articles of Belief, I found I could not
accept them, particularly a certain part, which related to the day of judgment and what
would follow thereafter. I have reviewed this document, and am able to quote the exact
words which were a stumbling-block to me. "We believe . . . that at the day of judgment
the state of all will be unalterably fixed, and that the punishment of the wicked and the
happiness of the righteous will be endless."
When the service was over, I went home, feeling as if I had done something wrong. I
thought of my mother, whom my church people called an "unbeliever;" of my dear little
brother who had been drowned, and whose soul might be LOST, and I was most