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<strong>Marathon</strong> <strong>Maniacs</strong> News Letter – <strong>August</strong> <strong>2008</strong><br />
<strong>August</strong> Highlights<br />
22 new members for the month of <strong>August</strong> (total of 1073 members)<br />
Bekkie Wright is the female winner at the Frank Maier <strong>Marathon</strong><br />
Sean Meissner wins the Crater Lake <strong>Marathon</strong><br />
Sherry “MMM” Mahoney is the female winner of the Loop the Lake <strong>Marathon</strong><br />
Kay Evans is the female winner at the Run With the Horses <strong>Marathon</strong><br />
Steve “<strong>Marathon</strong> Freak” Walters comes in first at Michelle‟s “Grande Ass” <strong>Marathon</strong><br />
Kory Wheatley blisters the field at The Pocatello marathon<br />
<strong>Marathon</strong> Junkie Chuck Engle is victorious at the Tupelo <strong>Marathon</strong><br />
Leading Ladies in yellow: Janet Burgess, Annette Tomal and Annette Wulffe Starters at Michelle‟s Grande Ass <strong>Marathon</strong><br />
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<strong>Marathon</strong> <strong>Maniacs</strong>….At the Races<br />
<strong>August</strong> 3<br />
San Francisco Chronicle <strong>Marathon</strong>: David “Bart” Bartholomew, Robert Britain, Jon “Ice” Burg, Brian Bury, Alexander “Neomedic” Chin, Rajan<br />
Christian, Richard Ervais, Hope Fox, Bill Gross, Mark Haley, David Hammes, Boonsom “Lipstick Lady” Hartman, David Hartz, Yolanda “Walking<br />
Diva” Holder, Dean Hutchinson, Ed Indvik, Chester “Southernmost Walker” Kalb, James Klarich, Rick Korecki, Michael Larkin, John “Oskie”<br />
Lazaro, Mark Lehrmann, Karl Leitz, Jon “Coconutboy” Mahoney, Sherry “MMM” Mahoney, Little Leslie, Robert “SPIKE” Moreno, Andre<br />
O‟Donnell, Thomas “T.O.” Okazaki, Satiro de Oliveira, Les “Maniacles” Omura, Keith “Kip” Panzer, Jeanette Quintana, Guillermo Rios, Silver Rivas,<br />
Tom Rogers, Zander Ross, Dale Shoup, Carl Simons, Laura Skladzinski, David “<strong>Marathon</strong> Diet” Spooner, Ed Walsh, Hollywood, Amy Yanni<br />
Silver Rivas on the Golden Gate…from the SF Chronicle Boonsom “Lipstick Lady” with her husband on the BART<br />
The SF <strong>Marathon</strong> according to Dale Shoup: The San Francisco <strong>Marathon</strong> is one of my favorites, not just for the marathon itself, but also because it is a fun city<br />
to visit. The weather is usually perfect for running although it can be downright cold for tourist activities. This year was no exception for the running but the<br />
temperature for the rest of the day was pleasant. We even got to see most of the Golden Gate Bridge because the fog was higher and thinner than for previous<br />
years.<br />
In fact the weather was too good! Consequently I have no excuses for my poor showing. I had hopes, or maybe just illusions, of being able to finish in about<br />
3:50. I started out with the 3:50 pace group, but I decided to run in front of the group where there was more room. The route gets narrow in places by Fisherman's<br />
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Terminal as it goes through the edge of a park. I felt strong at this point but was soon passed by the group as they ran up the hill to the Golden Gate Bridge. I<br />
decided not to push myself and try to stay with them. Unfortunately I never caught up again as I continued to fade slowly.<br />
The out and back across the bridge is the highlight of the course. On top of the scenic beauty it offers a chance to see the leaders and other participants. In<br />
particular I got to see several other <strong>Marathon</strong> <strong>Maniacs</strong> and exchange greetings. There were other deads running but I didn't spot Sally or any of the other runners.<br />
I did say hello to Don who was helping at one of the water stops though!<br />
It felt like I was holding steady, however my watch told me otherwise. It was obvious when the 4:00 pace group passed and I had no answer. My legs were stuck<br />
in slow motion and wouldn't speed up in spite of my desire. At about the same time the marathon runners were outnumbered and overtaken by the lead half<br />
marathoners running the second half. This had a very discouraging effect on me as I found it difficult to focus on any runners which I could 'pick off'. When the<br />
4:15 pace group passed me I was even more discouraged. I knew I wasn't going to have a good time, so I gave in to the temptation to walk part of the time. I did<br />
recover somewhat and ran in the final 1.2 miles, but it was still slow. My chip time was 4:27:05 which was at least not a new PW :-)<br />
Tantalus Trekkers Woo, Omura, Essenburg, McCafferty, Craven, Shaka, Fong Barbara Wnek at the ET <strong>Marathon</strong><br />
<strong>August</strong> 17<br />
Light at the End of the Tunnel <strong>Marathon</strong>…directed by Brian Pendleton<br />
Jenny Appel, Michelle Barnes, Margaret Barrett, Janna Barrick, Steve Barrick, Jonathan Bernard, Valerie Beyer, Barb Bumann, Francesca<br />
Carmichael, Benjamin Chan, May Cheng, Richard Cockrell, Mark Dahlby, Cheri Damitio, Paul David, Bob and Lenore Dolphin, Steve Duncan,<br />
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Lindsay Felker, David Forbes, Hope Fox, Andy Fritz, Paul Grove, Mary “mph” Hanna, Ric Hart, Christie Hayes, Jane “camelback” Herzog, Jill<br />
Hudson, Robert Jacobsen, Barefoot Jon, Dean Kayler, James Klarich, Phil “Uncle Philly” Kriss, Ashley “rogue Wave” Kuhlmann, “MMKuhl”, sancho<br />
jake lin, Jeff Loen, McLovin, Sarah Lynch, Gary “The Red Rabbit” Marr, Bob Martin, Marci Martin, Rich Menzel, Little Leslie, Bob „BobO” Obrien,<br />
Stacy “PoSSuM” Otter, Monte Pascual, Van “pigtails” Phan, Cheri Pompeo (Gillis), Mel Predy, Mike Pruyne, Jeanette Quintana, Sharon Reese, Bryan<br />
Robertson, sLuG, EatDrinkRunWoman, Marilou Russell, Cat Schwartz, Narv, Terry Sentinella, McGyver, David “<strong>Marathon</strong> Diet” Spooner, Jerry<br />
Thayer, Joseph Tompkins, Linda Walter, Hollywood, Mike Warren, Olaf Weckner, Larry Welch, Shawna Wilskey, Guy Yogi, Marie Zornes<br />
Mike Pruyne and new <strong>Maniacs</strong> Susan Cooley and Amy Begnal Larry Macon and Tara Tulley at the Park City <strong>Marathon</strong><br />
Here’s a short race report from Valerie Beyer. Being the hot weather wimp that I am, I couldn't get myself to go at all fast this morning. (Yesterdays 16 mile<br />
training run might have contributed to that also.) And then my stomach decided to give me the opportunity to add more minutes to my time. I haven't had that<br />
problem in a long time. By mile 20 I was really struggling with the temperature. Fortunately, right before the 22 mile aid station I saw some <strong>Maniacs</strong> who were<br />
nice enough to dump some ice cold water over my head. That and the last few miles being totally in the shade helped me get to the finish. I went straight for the<br />
ice and iced my arms and face. Amazing how quickly that helps.<br />
As for the lightening, it started at my house around 3 or 3:30. I stopped counting the seconds between the lightening and the thunder because it was all pretty far<br />
away. Then suddenly we had a couple of almost simultaneous ones. That was really loud and scary. Then the power went out. So I got ready by flashlight.<br />
Sigh. At least it wasn't a goal race for me.<br />
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Humpy’s <strong>Marathon</strong>: Dave Bell, Martha Corazzini, Tina Ellis, Jean “Mama Jean” Evansmore, Michele Smith-Harden, Boonsom “Lipstick Lady”<br />
Hartman, Claude Hicks Jr., Kathy Kass, Clare King, Ron “runnyknose” Knecht, Joseph Poliquin, David “Zen Runner” Reid, Rian Rosenthal, Tracy<br />
Strub, Steve Supkoff, Dick Vogt, Bekkie Wright, Fiona Wright, Wayne Wright. The race according to Tracy Strub Brief: Tina and I both finished (Woo-<br />
Hoo) and used this as a training race as it was Tina’s first race after a two year bout of double Achilles Tendonitis. We were on track for a subfour<br />
run but had to outrun an 800 lb bull moose at mile 12 of the race that took us into the woods and a little off course – seems the big guy was<br />
hankering for a couple of good-looking blonds for a mid-morning snack. He finally bored of us and ran out into the street-side ditch providing a<br />
great picture for the passing traffic. Once back on track we came upon a rabid porcupine at mile 16 and had to wait for the wicked little fellow to<br />
move off the path – they did have some young boys from the ROTC group standing by to capture it, but it they took their time doing so. We also<br />
found a couple of gorgeous men standing by at mile 22 with a jar of Vaseline to slather on some hot spots, so we stopped for a few minutes to rub<br />
some on and have a few drinks. We eventually crossed the line with a double PW of 4:19 - though both of our Garmin’s showed 4:10 with a<br />
distance of 26.49 miles. Hmmm.<br />
Long: The Anchorage Running Club has officially renamed Humpy’s to the Big Wild Life Run but the historic Alehouse is still its main sponsor and<br />
has 50-something ales on draft (Try the Kenai Stillwater Stout!). They held a <strong>Marathon</strong> Walk, <strong>Marathon</strong> relay, <strong>Marathon</strong>, Half, and 5k with start<br />
times from 8-9:30am. There were about 2000 participants overall with plenty of munchies at the finish throughout the day. Not a lot, but enough<br />
to tie you over.<br />
Lipstick Lady, Michelle Harden, Tina Ellis, Tracy Strub, Bekkie Wright, Joe Poliquin Jim Bitgood in St. Petersburg, Russia<br />
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The weather was perfect for the 9am start time – 52-57 degrees and cloudy for the entire race. The route is a double out and back along a nice,<br />
forested walking/bike trail with some rolling hills reminiscent of Whidbey Island. Lots of places for spectators to walk or drive to throughout the<br />
course and Chris and Matt (husband running support staff) made it to a few of them to cheer us on. There were plenty of little tunnels to run<br />
through that allowed Tracy hoop, holler, and amplify the amount of miles left until BEER! (14 miles to BEER!) There were approximately 270<br />
marathoners, at least twenty 50-staters, and about 9 <strong>Marathon</strong> <strong>Maniacs</strong> wearing their colors tho the website showed more actually entered. They<br />
made a dramatic change this year by offering a fabulous long sleeve technical T-shirt in different colors for each event. The marathon has a<br />
purple t with black stripes with the sponsors along the right sleeve instead of the back of the shirt. The expo consisted of 5 registration tables and<br />
a table set up with last year’s shirts for sale. It took us about 12 minutes to get through packet pickup and a complete browse of the tables but<br />
about 11 minutes longer than it took the Anchorage Parking Attendant to place a $10 parking ticket on our rental car. Anchorage is small enough<br />
so if you stay in town you can get around w/o a rental, but we had a week’s vacation planned after the race. Splits:<br />
Too fast, a little faster, really fast (outrunning moose), dead stop, slower, walking, panting up the final hill at a snail’s pace, finish.<br />
Cascade Crest 100 miler: King Arthur Martineau Jonathan Bernard and Maniac #3 tp! tc* and Steve Stoyles<br />
<strong>August</strong> 23<br />
CCC 100 mile: Francis Agboton “El Maestro”, Gilles Barbeau, Jonathan Bernard, Ben Blessing, *tc, Rob “Rattler” Hester, Brandon Lott, King Arthur<br />
Martineau, Jess Mullen, Van “pigtails” Phan, tp!, Scott Tomchick, Joseph Tompkins<br />
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Michelle Barnes Cat Schwartz, Michelle Barnes, Robert Hester, Jenny Appel Winner – “<strong>Marathon</strong> Freak”<br />
<strong>August</strong> 31<br />
Michelle’s Grande-Ass <strong>Marathon</strong>: Jenny Appel, Michelle Barnes, Margaret Barrett, Marco Begola, Abi Brownell, Richard Gantman, Margaret Gorog,<br />
Rob “Rattler” Hester, Jill Hudson, Tory Klementsen, Phil “Uncle Philly” Kriss, Sarah McIntosh, Monte Pascual, Dan Pfunder, Van “pigtails” Phan,<br />
Nic Plemel, Cat Schwartz, Steve Stoyles, Linda Walter, Steve “<strong>Marathon</strong> Freak” Walters, Marie Zornes<br />
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Nic Plemel Tory Klementsen and Marie Zornes Van “pigtails” Phan Jill Hudson and Linda Walter<br />
Tupelo <strong>Marathon</strong>: Kevin Abraszek, Jim Collins, Mike Dooley, <strong>Marathon</strong> Junkie, Eric Fuller, Sara Hacker, Claude Hicks Jr., Valerie Hower, Chester<br />
“Southernmost Walker” Kalb, John “J Lo” Lopez, Matt Manning, Phil Min, Shawn Newton, Jon O‟Neil, Brantley Padgett, Trent Rosenbloom, Cathy<br />
“MiniCat” Saylor, Greg Terry<br />
Phil Min and Trent Rosenbloom Sara Hacker, winner <strong>Marathon</strong> Junkie and new Maniac Valerie Hower Greg Terry<br />
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Sara Hacker, Eric Fuller, Phil and Trent, Brantley Padgett and Greg Terry Cathy “Minicat” Saylor and husband<br />
New Mexico: Mike Herrin and Dean Peterson Adam Shank, Mike, Beth, Dave, Janet, Charles Sayles Janet Burgess and Dave Bell<br />
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New Mexico <strong>Marathon</strong>: Dave “Bart” Bartholomew, Gary Beaty, Dave Bell, Cowboy Jeff Bishton, Janet Burgess, Greg Goebel, Boonsom “Lipstick Lady”<br />
Hartman, Mike Herrin, Suzy Holt Goodwin, Lou Karl, Todd King, Mary Lenari, Manaic Mel, Denis McCarthy, Little Leslie, Max M., Keith “Kip”<br />
Panzer, Dean Peterson, Misty Pilgrim, David Rikke, Guillermo Rios, Ray “Crazy Ray” Rowehl, Henry Rueden, Adam Shank, Doug Shanks, Johnny<br />
“The Animal” Spriggs, Mark Stodghill, Dick Vogt, Marina White, Barb Wnek, Fiona Wright, Catherine “Aunt Fun” Wyman<br />
Headlands Ultra: Thomas Tan, Troy Windsor 5-Time NODM Maniac Finishers Steve Supkoff, Prez, Tim Bruce and Bob Dolphin<br />
Noteworthy Accomplishments / Promotions / Omissions / Maniac Stuff:<br />
Please let the Prez know if you reached a higher Maniac level and want the recognition in the Newsletter!<br />
Iridium (4 star) <strong>Maniacs</strong>: Stephen Hamilton (2 marathons in 2 days)<br />
Silver (2 star Maniac: Rodolfo Lucena (8 marathons in 11 months), Richard Gantman (6 marathons in 6 months)<br />
100 th marathon/ultra: Keith Whited (Laurel Highlands 70 miler)<br />
8/01 – Harold Lanham #1052 (Harrodsburg, Kentucky): Bronze<br />
8/04– Jennifer Allen #1053 (Ashland, Massachusetts): Bronze<br />
8/04 –Heather Leeman #1054 (Taunton, Massachusetts): Bronze<br />
New Members for the Month of <strong>August</strong><br />
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8/05 –Graham Gallemore #1055 (Huntsville, Alabama): Graham is a true warrior as he’s 65 years young and the majority of his Maniac qualifying runs have<br />
been of the tough 50 km versions. Starting with the 2007 Bizz Johnson and ending with the Bartlett Park 50km, Graham has trudged his way to Gold level<br />
Maniacdom with his streak of 12 marathons in 11 months.<br />
8/05 –Steve Pavao #1056 (Hilo, Hawaii): Another Maniac from Hawaii, but this time from the Big Island, Steve qualified for Bronze level by completing the<br />
Kilauea Volcano and San Francisco <strong>Marathon</strong>s on successive weekends. He has 7 lifetime marathons to his credit in 2 states. No doubt he was “pressured” into<br />
joining from the always happy Hawaiian <strong>Maniacs</strong>.<br />
Graham Gallemore Steve Pavao (left) with Mike Brigolia and “Shaka” Landeza Valerie Hower<br />
8/05 –Valerie Hower #1057 (Atlanta, Georgia): Valerie started her marathoning career in 2004 innocently enough with the “standard” three in one year, but so<br />
far this year she’s mixed in marathons with ultras to qualify for the bronze level with 3 in 3 months (Hog’s Hunt 50km, Frederick <strong>Marathon</strong> and Mayor’s<br />
<strong>Marathon</strong>). She has run 13 marathon and 2 ultras in 14 states and is excitedly trying to move up to the next maniac level this year.<br />
8/10 – Jeff Bollman #1058 (Billings, Montana): Jeff completed his Bronze maniac streak in Germany as his completion of the Koenischlosser Romance<br />
<strong>Marathon</strong> coupled with his previous 2 month marathons at Fort Collins and Deadwood. He is planning to achieve Silver status with his plans of running<br />
Pocatello, Two Bear and the Twin Cities <strong>Marathon</strong>.<br />
8/10 – Mark Swanson #1059 (Arlington, Texas): Iridum<br />
8/11 –Anthony Portera #1060 (White Plains, New York): Anthony is a Silver level Maniac with his best streak of 6 marathons in 6 months. Some of hs<br />
completed marathons include the Disney World, Chicago and New Jersey marathons.<br />
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8/14 – Abigail Brownell #1061 (University Place, Washington): Abigail is a member of the famed Puyallup Y Run Club and we have seen her at many of the<br />
local marathons lately. She finally submitted her information to become a Maniac so she is a procrastinator no more! A few months ago she ran the Green River<br />
and North Olympic Discovery <strong>Marathon</strong>s on back to back days to enable her to be a 4-star Iridium Maniac.<br />
Jeff Bollman Anthony Portera Abigail Brownell<br />
8/19 –Stephanie Bailey #1062 (Arlington, Washington): Bronze<br />
8/19 –Scott Shafer #1063 (Cypress, Texas): Bronze<br />
8/20 –Tracy Brown #1064 (Seattle, Washington): Tracy recently completed her Maniac streak of 3 in 3 months to qualify for Bronze level. Included in that<br />
streak is the super tough and Insane White River 50 miler. She has completed 6 marathons and ultras in 2 states.<br />
8/20 – Rodger Funk #1065 (Bellingham, Washington): Rodger says that he’s hooked on marathons and finally met the Bronze level criteria of 3 in 3 months<br />
(Crescent Forest Ultra, Haulin Aspen and Light at the End of the Tunnel). Trouble is, now his family and friends thinks he’s nuts but we know that is just<br />
“normal” Maniac behavior.<br />
8/20 – Marco Begola #1066 (Puyallup, Washington): Iridium<br />
8/21 – Holly Koester #1067 (Cleveland, Ohio): A big welcome goes to Holly, whom is the first wheelchair Maniac. She first heard about the maniacs through<br />
our favorite Maniac spokesperson Lenore Dolphin and she is also a member of the 50 states club (has completed the circuit) and was just recently inducted in the<br />
100 marathon club (total of 102 marathons completed). She qualifies as a 6-star Osmium Maniac with her awesome streak of 18 states in 1 year. Also a member<br />
of the marathon geeks, she’s a wheelsRme geek!<br />
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Tracy Brown (photo taken by Glenn T.) Rodger Funk Holly Koester<br />
8/23 –David Rikke #1068 (Indianapolis, Indiana): David has had a busy last 5 months by travelling and completing 10 marathons in that time. Those races also<br />
included his first back to back marathons (Pacific Crest and Seafair). Those 2 streaks gives him the coveted 4-star Iridium level in the Insane Asylum.<br />
8/25 – Susan Cooley #1069 (Oak Harbor, Washington): Susan recently qualified for Bronze Maniac induction by completing the Seafair, Light at the End of the<br />
Tunnel and the Redmond watershed <strong>Marathon</strong>s within 2 months. She’s so excited to become a member and can hardly wait the don the yellow singlet at her next<br />
marathon.<br />
8/26 – Amy Begnal #1070 (Oak Harbor, Washington): An exact duplicate to Maniac #1069, Amy is also a Bronze Maniac with her 3 marathons in 2 months.<br />
They both hail from Oak Harbor and are friends with Maniac Mike Pruyne whom joined the Insane bunch last month. The 3 of them are looking forward to<br />
sporting MM gear and running in the upcoming Baker Lake 50km.<br />
8/27 –Brian Hampsch #1071 (Seattle, Washington): The Light at the End of the Tunnel and Redmond Watershed seem to be popular races for Maniac<br />
qualification as they apply to Brian’s Bronze level membership. He has run 6 lifetime marathons in 3 states.<br />
8/27 – Carol Goslin #1072 (Kansas City, Missouri): Silver<br />
8/30 – Sarah Jacobs #1073 (Liberty, Missouri): Iridium<br />
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David Rikke Jessica Bienvenue, Amy Begnal, Susan Cooley and Mike Pruyne (Redmond Watershed)<br />
Brian Hampsch Paula Erdle (July Maniac)<br />
14
Rhetorical Revelations and W(Rites)…from the Rambunctious Rev<br />
“Rev” sort of runs marathons. Technically, he finished two marathons in two weeks a few years back, and paid his ten<br />
dollars, so we had to let him in. He has not anywhere near the ability of our more esteemed members, like Chuck Engle and Annie<br />
Thiessen, who seem to win a third or more of the marathons they enter; nor like the Pigtails and Leslies and Larry Macons and<br />
others, who actually can run entire marathons weekly through the year; nor of the likes of TC and TP, who can compete in ultramarathons<br />
as well as they do in marathons, as impossible as that seems. But Rev reminds us of when we were all awed by simply<br />
participating in our sport. Also, as God evidently ordained him, we figure it best to humor him and let him jabber on about whatever<br />
he likes.<br />
Seriously, we mean to have fun here, and we love what we do. Tony P. (member #3) is a consultant for race directors.<br />
Member S.R. Lopez for years found us discounts into races. The list goes on. Bottom line, we founders of the <strong>Marathon</strong>maniacs<br />
(Steve, Chris, and Tony) did not start this club around “competing about times,” though we celebrate the amazing accomplishments<br />
of some of our best friends! Simply, we wanted to welcome happy, nice people, like the Barefooters and the Reeses and the Reids<br />
and the Hargetts and all of you, who like to run marathons frequently, into a club of the like-minded. So, Welcome! You are a<br />
<strong>Marathon</strong>Maniac!<br />
Dear Mr. President,<br />
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Hey, my Presidential friend of the <strong>Marathon</strong><strong>Maniacs</strong>, I need your crucial help at this critical time in our<br />
country’s history, but we have to keep it quiet just a little bit longer.<br />
I have figured out … hooboy, I need to take a deep breath here … that I have … all the qualifications…no, not<br />
for the Maniac Hall of Fame, that is Engle-Thiessen-Pigtails-Macon-TC-TP territory; get serious, will you?<br />
I have been watching the conventions, and it seems that I have all the credentials “both sides of the aisle”<br />
want! Stevie boy, right after the election, at the NYC marathon, on a bridge to Brooklyn, we will announce the start<br />
of my 2012 run to be the next “next President of the USA!”<br />
Qualified? Sure! See, first of all, in case you missed it, the operative word is “run.” Do I have that part<br />
down or what, huh? Yes, yes, I am sure the media will speculate endlessly that all I do is jog. Pay them no<br />
attention.<br />
Next, demographics are everything. By 2012 the great need will be to find candidates of the most intriguing<br />
minority-type to nominate, and by then that minority-type will be? White males! I am in!<br />
And having you, my Oriental Omniscient Oracle, as my V.P., together we will be over the top in the diversity<br />
category! As a bonus, you already ARE a President, so together we have already answered the “experience”<br />
question, eh?<br />
Get Pigtails to manage the campaign. She is already famous in the northwest, for running! (There’s a theme<br />
here, kid, pay attention.)<br />
Next: Strength of character, by biography. The secret there? Tonight they touted the strength of character of<br />
one candidate by stating simply: “she runs marathons!” Shazaam!<br />
We take it a step further. If a Hollywood chimpanzee was part of President Reagan’s background, then<br />
having completed the Disney marathon clearly strengthens our case for the White House!<br />
They will scrutinize my life, but what would they find? 1) I have never once lied about my times. Besides, if<br />
the race clock was already turned off, who would know? 2) Only once did I ever run as a bandit, but hey! They<br />
ALLOW that in Boston. They allow a lot of things in Boston. 3) I don’t think we have to worry about that whole<br />
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“kissing Wellesley girls” story. We just claim it was exaggerated by the press. We put a smiling SluG and a Possum<br />
or two up on stage as character witnesses, and my bio will be the new presidential standard!<br />
My record speaks for itself. I am plenty organized, so I can go to communities to run marathons. I have run<br />
in my home state, and also in Washington. I have never entered an election I haven’t won.<br />
I feel young, look middle-aged, and identify at the end of races with the elderly.<br />
My wife smiles a lot, even when nobody knows what she’s thinking. I have a cute son, a son who is<br />
“interesting,” and a son who can wave. We’ve got the whole package, I’m telling you.<br />
Then, we get down to business with our Message of Hope and Change. Of all the candidates, I am the one<br />
most familiar with hope, for every single marathon I line up at, I hope I will finish. That sort of experience sticks<br />
with a guy.<br />
Now, we need a strong platform. Yee, I think I’ve got one that reeks of change, real change, that ordinary<br />
Americans (sorry, Engle) are crying out for.<br />
History tells us the marathon was first run in Europe….somebody measured it, and came up with 26 on the<br />
distance, but what got lost in the translation is that Europeans do not use miles, they use kilometers. 26 kilometers<br />
translates to about 16 miles, so we will change all marathons to 16 miles! Now there’s Real Hope for ordinary<br />
Americans!<br />
This reform will decrease the natural resources we use at races. Think of the savings in Gatorade alone!<br />
Fewer miles will mean fewer traffic jams, so we will immediately bring one-third of our uniformed policemen home!<br />
Simultaneously, we will be freeing up roads to be roads again for cars and trucks, which will invigorate trade and<br />
stimulate the economy!<br />
Shorter, baby, shorter! Shorter races reduce the health risk for all Americans, which will lower health<br />
insurance costs!<br />
Shorter, baby, shorter! Shorter races reduce entrance fees and taxes!<br />
Shorter, baby, shorter! Shorter races speed up getting to the… libations.<br />
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Furthermore, I will introduce legislation to require all races to include, for all Americans, rich or poor, enough<br />
root beer, both regular and diet, because you, not government, know what you need and what is best for your life!<br />
And enough with government waste: no more Gu! {Remember to pause during wild ovations.} We will serve<br />
real NJ tomatoes, Idaho potatoes, Florida oranges, Georgia peaches, Texas beef, Wisconsin cheese, Alaskan salmon,<br />
and California tofu, creating jobs for American farmers all across the land.<br />
I’m thinking of asking Macon to be my Secretary of States, for obvious reasons. Tony knows how to organize<br />
races, so we’ll get him for Atournament General. For Surgeon General: AnniE. She’s a veterinarian. Close enough.<br />
Chief of Staff: Lopez: maybe he can get us discounts on lunch.<br />
Hope you’ll join me in this campaign, Prez. Just hide the cat, somehow, some way. That creature is the only<br />
skeleton we’ve got, and the thing even freaks me out.<br />
Love ya,<br />
Prez Rev<br />
dgkienz@yahoo.com<br />
DARKNESS?? NO PROBLEM FOR THE MANIACS<br />
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Keith Whited – Laurel Highlands Claude Hicks Jr. and Matt Manning Robert “Rattler” Hester – CCC 100<br />
Maniac Ongoing Discounts<br />
$10 off marathons put on by Bob Green (his next one is the Halloween <strong>Marathon</strong>?).<br />
15% off shoes, apparel at the Balanced Athlete (Kent, Wa); ask for Eric Sach<br />
10% off any running shoes, apparel at the Foot Zone store (Bellevue location only, ask for Jenny)<br />
discount on CROC sandals (contact Tony at tony@marathonmaniacs.com for details)<br />
More to come in the September <strong>2008</strong> Newsletter and to the web site soon. The President has written…<br />
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