Preparing for Death and Helping the Dying

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training and preparation, a peaceful and positive death is possible for each and every one of us. It is important to examine the thoughts, feelings and attitudes we have regarding death and dying, to see whether or not they are realistic and healthy. How do you feel when you read or hear the news of a disaster where many people were killed suddenly and unexpectedly? How do you feel when you hear that one of your own family members or friends has died or been diagnosed with cancer? How do you feel when you see a hearse, or drive past a cemetery? What do you think it will be like to die? And do you believe in anything beyond this life, on the other side of death? There are two unhealthy attitudes people sometimes have towards death. One is to be frightened, thinking that it will be a horrible, painful experience, or that it means total annihilation. This fear leads to denial and wanting to avoid thinking or talking about death. Is this a good idea, considering the fact that we will have to go through it one day? Wouldn’t it be better to ix
accept the reality of death and then learn how to overcome our fears and be prepared for it when it happens? The other unhealthy attitude is a careless, flippant one where one might say, “I don’t have any fear of death. I know I’ll have to die one day but it will be OK, I can handle it.” I had this attitude when I was younger, but one day I sat through an earthquake and for a few moments truly thought I was going to die, and then I discovered that I had been wrong—in fact, I was terrified of death and totally unprepared for it! In The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying (p.8), Sogyal Rinpoche quotes a Tibetan master who said: “People often make the mistake of being frivolous about death and think, ‘Oh well, death happens to everyone. It’s not a big deal, it’s natural. I’ll be fine.’ That’s a nice theory until one is dying.” If you notice that you have either of these two attitudes, it might be a good idea to do more research into what death is all about. More knowledge about death and dying will help decrease x
Page 1: Preparing for Death and Helping the
Page 4 and 5: CONTENTS Preface To The Revised Edi
Page 6 and 7: PREFACE TO THE REVISED EDITION This
Page 8 and 9: INTRODUCTION Death is a subject tha
Page 12 and 13: the fear of death (because we tend
Page 14 and 15: And: 2 What is born will die What h
Page 16 and 17: turned to the Buddha, buried her ch
Page 18 and 19: die, for example, on an operating t
Page 20 and 21: may lead us to take birth in unfort
Page 22 and 23: 10 HOW TO PREPARE FOR DEATH THE FOU
Page 24 and 25: 12 “Every religious tradition emp
Page 26 and 27: death itself is one of the most eff
Page 28 and 29: 16 • keeping in mind an object of
Page 30 and 31: and making regular prayers for such
Page 32 and 33: correspond to the gradual dissoluti
Page 34 and 35: such as The Tibetan Book of the Dea
Page 36 and 37: Thus one of the most important skil
Page 38 and 39: and deal with turbulent emotions. I
Page 40 and 41: 28 Sogyal Rinpoche says (p.213): Al
Page 42 and 43: ence, dedicating the merit of these
Page 44 and 45: their religious beliefs and practic
Page 46 and 47: have stopped breathing. Remember th
Page 48 and 49: spiritual instructions. Among the p
Page 50 and 51: 38 CONCLUSION I hope that the ideas
Page 52 and 53: dark smoke. It comes into your hear
Page 54 and 55: person you love whom you want to fo
Page 56 and 57: 44 NOTES 1. Gary Zukav, The Dancing
Page 58 and 59: 46 You never think of death’s app
Page 60 and 61:
48 Driven by the winds, swept by th
Page 62 and 63:
50 RECOMMENDED READING BUDDHIST TEA
Page 64 and 65:
Dying. London: Papermac, 1988. Call
Page 66:
54 St Joseph’s Home & Hospice 921
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Preparing for Death and Helping the Dying

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