Issue Three

The Laugher was in the front of the
fuselage, dominating the fracas. The
Screamer came from further back,
playing counterpoint. There was a
beating sound, too, like a boxer at a
punching bag. Adrian, seated in the
middle of it all, couldn't hear himself
talking.
"I stole a candy bar once, Snickers,
king-size," he confessed. His voice was
uncannily even, given the
circumstances. "I thought about my
pretty cousin a couple times. Maybe a
few."
The woman Adrian was speaking to, a
mousy blonde in a pants suit, stared at
him wordlessly, her eyes stupid with
fear. She looked like someone who
hadn't studied for a test, Adrian
thought. He didn't know if she
comprehended what he was saying, and
she sure as hell wasn't a priest, but
she'd have to do.
"I lied to get out of school, a few times,"
Adrian went on, shakily. "I looked up
some dresses. Wore one once."
Before Adrian could say more, The
Groper interrupted, storming the row of
seats Adrian shared with the blonde.
The pervert wasted no time with the
woman's chest, wearing a dazed smile
that fell short of sinister. She jumped at
first, but ultimately just let the freak do
his thing, lank in her seat like a crash-
test dummy. Adrian swung out, but The
Groper was already down the aisle, his
flabby body moving in a weird, complex
gait, like a skier in wedeln.
The Laugher continued his bizarre
chant: "Ha-ha-hee ... ha-HEE ... HA!
Ha, ha ... HA!" More terrified screams
came in answer, but not from The
Screamer; it seemed another was vying
for the title.
Adrian stuttered, "I ... um ...", but he'd
lost his rhythm. Damn.
After more mumbling, he at last
confessed a love triangle involving his
best friend's girl, which had culminated
with the loss of his virginity, as it
were. He had to abbreviate the story for
reasons obvious, but it was off his chest,
even if his audience was a makeshift
priestess -- in coach, no less.
The woman showed no response but for
a trembling bottom lip. A single,
bulbous tear spilled down her left
cheek. It clung to her jaw, and then
dropped tacitly to the floor.
"A-may-zi-ing grace, how suh-weet thuh
sound ...!"
The verse, sung in a high G and
surprisingly in-key, cut through the din,
relegating The Laugher and the
Screamers to a byplay. Adrian couldn't
CONFESSION