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It’s such an epic apartment. I’m at sixes and sevens<br />
whenever the staff is on leave.<br />
Butler’s day off?<br />
BRIAN<br />
ERICA<br />
One wishes. I am reduced to nurse Bradford, and a most<br />
disagreeable housekeeper whose name escapes me.<br />
(beat)<br />
Felice.<br />
BRIAN<br />
<strong>The</strong> nurse or the housekeeper?<br />
ERICA<br />
My husband. Do you always find names so confusing?<br />
Not as a rule.<br />
BRIAN<br />
ERICA<br />
Felice Sericusano. He was a diamond broker.<br />
BRIAN<br />
My Uncle Norm is a jeweler.<br />
ERICA<br />
Felice was not a “jeweler.” He did not engrave bracelets.<br />
He was, as I said, in the diamond business.<br />
(BRIAN steps onto a faded Persian rug. SHE<br />
glares at his shoes. HE steps back onto<br />
the door mat and wipes his feet.)<br />
ERICA (continued)<br />
It was Papa’s Persian. Purchased in Persia. While I was<br />
performing. In Tehran.<br />
Ball or bag?<br />
I’m sorry?<br />
Tea bag or loose?<br />
(SHE motions for BRIAN to sit. HE surveys the<br />
room and finds the least uncomfortable looking<br />
chair. It groans under his weight.)<br />
Please, don’t bother.<br />
ERICA (continued)<br />
BRIAN<br />
ERICA<br />
BRIAN<br />
5
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