Mini-lesson Writing Dialogue - Maupin House Publishing

Writing Dialogue
“said” stoppers
Mini-lesson
Using the word said too often in your dialogue gets boring—fast! Spice up your dialogue using
words other than said. Characters can reply, state, mumble, shout, respond—the number of words
you can use is surprisingly large. Match the words you use to describe dialogue to the emotion
of the character’s words. An angry person would yell, but not whisper. Also, remember that in
dialogue between two people, it isn’t necessary to use a said word after each line. Since the speakers
are taking turns, the reader knows who is speaking by whose turn it is.
WATCH how it’s done.
original dialogue, using said:
“I’m really getting angry,” I said.
“Really? I couldn’t tell by your red face,” she said.
“Stop it!” I said.
“You stop looking like a tomato first,” she said.
revised dialogue, using words other than said:
“I’m really getting angry,” I growled.
“Really? I couldn’t tell by your red face,” she teased.
“Stop it!”
“You stop looking like a tomato first,” she laughed.
HELP
with this dialogue:
original dialogue, using said:
“I’m so late! What time is it?” I said.
“Oh my. It’s 6 o’clock. You really are late,” she said.
“What am I going to do?” I said.
“I’d hurry up if I were you,” she said.
revised dialogue, using words other than said:
APPLY
this skill in your writing notebook. Write ten lines of dialogue. Try to use the word said
no more than one time.
MASTER this skill in your workstation.
104 the middle school writing toolkit | chapter 10

Writing Dialogue
“said” stoppers
Composing Techniques: Target Skill Lessons and Workstation Tasks
Workstation
Using the word said too often in your dialogue gets boring—fast! Spice up your dialogue using
words other than said. Characters can reply, state, mumble, shout, respond—the number of words
you can use is surprisingly large. Match the words you use to describe dialogue to the emotion
of the character’s words. An angry person would yell, but not whisper. Also, remember that in
dialogue between two people, it isn’t necessary to use a said word after each line. Since the speakers
are taking turns, the reader knows who is speaking by whose turn it is.
original dialogue, using said:
“I’m really getting angry,” I said.
“Really? I couldn’t tell by your red face,” she said.
“Stop it!” I said.
“You stop looking like a tomato first,” she said.
revised dialogue, using words other than said:
“I’m really getting angry,” I growled.
“Really? I couldn’t tell by your red face,” she teased.
“Stop it!”
“You stop looking like a tomato first,” she laughed.
TASK A
TASK B
TASK C
TASK D
Go through your reading book, and record as many other-than-said words as you can
find. Make a list for yourself to use in the future.
Write two lines of dialogue for each of the following emotions: joy, sorrow, fear,
anger, disgust. Use other-than-said words that match the emotion in your dialogue. For
example, if the emotion is love, you might write “You’ve got the cutest eyes,” she cooed.
Write an imaginary dialogue between two people who are having an argument. In the
first five lines of dialogue, have the characters speak angrily with each other. In the
last five lines, have them begin to make up. Remember that in dialogue between two
people, it isn’t necessary to point out who is speaking in every line.
Select a piece from your draft folder or your notebook that could be improved by
changing some other-than-said words in the dialogue or by eliminating such words
from dialogue where it’s already clear who is speaking.
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