April 2013 - Thunder Roads Texas Motorcycle Magazine

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ey, Hey, Hey good people. Welcome back to Thunder Roads Texas. It’s time for another bull session with the Pig. Yep, it’s me again, your favorite little pink porker with another dish of bacon just for you. (Hey there is no imitation bacon here, just the real deal.) Today I have great news but sadly, I also have some bad news. The good news is that I just returned home from the St. Valentines Day Massacre. Now don’t go looking at me like that, I know it was back in February, it just takes a while to get some things published, okay? Jeez. Like I said, I was at the St. Valentines Day Massacre and it was a great time for all. Those guys and gals from the Alamo City Gypsy’s really know how to throw a great party. Oh, and the sad news, I lost all my pictures from that weekend! Modern technology and pigs don’t mix very well. For three days, February 8-10, everybody lived high on the hog in God’s country - Hondo Texas. This year the Gypsy’s brought the Massacre back to Hondo and the town welcomed them with open arms. Unfortunately for us, we couldn’t make it out for Friday. It seems that Rainman’s work refused to let him off early that day. He came home all cranky and fussy and pissed off about it so Mama had her little boy lay down for a nap before he was allowed (Yes I said it, ALLOWED) to go anywhere. What a whimp. We finally got to go on Saturday morning. We brought along Rainman’s nephew Raymond AKA “Little Man”. He’s thirteen this year and this was his first rally. We knew we were about to open this young mans eyes to a whole new world. Since Little Man doesn’t have a father around, he and his Uncle Rainman share a special bond. Uncle Rainman has always been around for his nephew doing those dad-like things with him. We’ve taken Raymond all over Texas on the back of the bike so Rainman (with some specialized help from me) decided the rally would be a good time for Little Man to experience some grownup fun and maybe learn a lesson or two about being a man. As we headed out toward the wild and wicked west of Hondo, the first lesson we had to teach Little Man was trust. Every man has to know who he can trust and the first lesson in trust is: What happens at the Massacre stays at the Massacre! Little Man agreed but then he asked, “What about Pig?” I just looked up at him, smiled, and said “Kid, you just need to watch and learn.” We signed in and picked up ride pins at the registration tent. Rainman and I had one of the Gypsy ladies place our pins on our chests. Another lesson we wanted to teach Little Man was that it was an honor to have one of the host club ladies do this for us. We wanted to show Raymond that is was okay to trust a lady to stick a pin in his chest! The Gypsy’s had arranged a day full of fun and excitement with rides, field events for the kids, and vendors galore. We Page 14 H April 2013 It Was All a Massacre!! walked by all the vendors’ booths and rummaged through piles of patches and new leathers. We looked at knives to buy and jewelry to wear. Along the way we ran into all sorts of people we knew. The next lesson for Little Man was to use proper biker protocol when making introductions. Rainman explained who everyone was and what clubs they rode with. Several patch-holders showed Raymond their patches and explained each one to him so that he had a better idea about the people he met. This also allowed us to teach Little Man a little about love and respect among bikers. It was pretty exciting to see the look on the young man’s face as he took all of that in. It was a whole new world to him and he enjoyed every minute of it. Little Man was rather surprised to find out how many friends Rainman and I have in the biker community. With all that walking around, the meeting and greeting began to take its toll on us and we started getting rather hungry. It was time to find a couple of cold beers and some hot food from one of the roach coach vendors. We got a coke for the kid and beer for us and began to decide just what would cure our hunger. We stopped by one vendor and saw the sign for “Piggy Puffs” and decided to investigate. WARNING: The following information is a little graphic and may be unsuitable for some people! We walked up to the table and horror flooded my eyes! I could feel the bile rising in the back of my throat when I realized that “Piggy Puffs” are actually fried pork rinds! Arrrggggg! It looked like a massacre had really happened at the Massacre. Immediately my head started swimming and my mind went all crazy. What if they were made from someone I once knew? Oh how disgusting. I look over and, WTF, are Rainman and Little Man really… Yes, they are tasting some free samples, that’s what they were doing! I held back my vomit; I tried my best to keep from doubling over. I wanted to speak out in protest but the mere thought of someone eating fried pig was just too much for me to handle. I looked at my betrayer of a friend and said, “I sure hope that pork rind you have in your mouth is a piece of Cousin Wilbur’s ass.” Rainman just smiled and said back, “If it is, he sure is tasty. Here try one”, he offered. With that said, I just walked away as I could bear no more. As I walked away I turned to look behind me; Rainman was buying a whole bag of “Piggy Puffs”. Damn traitor! Rainman responds: Hey everyone, Rainman here. I decided it might be a good idea if I wrote this next part, who knows what Pig would say next. Well actually, he is refusing to write about what happened next since he cannot jeopardize his PG-13 rating. Well anyway, Pig walked off all in a huff about the Piggy Puffs. I do have to say in all fairness to the Piggy Puff people, those are some damn good pork rinds! They are light and airy and seasoned just right. They practically melt in your mouth. I would highly recommend you get some at the next rally where you see Piggy Puffs. Be sure to tell them Pig sent you! We continued on, I made amends with Pig by agreeing not to eat the pork rinds in front of him and I bought him another beer. The world was at peace for us once again. Well, the truth is the peace only lasted until we came upon another vendor. We were looking for something to eat but couldn’t decide what. We came found this one particular food vendor trailer unlike all the other ones with their fancy paint jobs and signs galore advertising their menu. No, this place was a little different. It only had two small signs, Norm’s Place and Deep Fried Baby Back Ribs. It wasn’t very busy. As a matter of fact there wasn’t anyone around it when we strolled up. Norm stuck has head out the window and I asked him if the ribs were any good. He informed me that they would be the best ribs I’d ever had. Now let’s review the situation for a moment. Here we are at a biker rally, we’re drinking beer, hanging out with friends and about to order ribs from a rolling roach coach food vendor that has no customers, and this guy is telling me that he has the best ribs I’ll ever taste. Can anyone tell me what’s wrong with this situation? Yeah, that’s what I thought too. I looked at Little Man, he looked back at me and said, “Lets try them”. Words spoken like the dare of a true biker. “Give us a cheeseburger for Pig and ribs for Little Man and me”, I said. “I promise you won’t be disappointed”, Norm replied. A few minutes later Norm appeared at the window with our order and I thanked him as we began to walk away. “Hold on there boys”, Norm said. I thought maybe I forgot to pay him or something. “I want to see the look on your face when you take the first bite.” Raymond wasted no time in digging in on his first rib; a smile crossed his face as he nodded his approval. “Pretty good Sir”, he said. Now it was my turn. I looked over at Pig. With his mouth full of cheeseburger he attempted to say, “It’s Cousin Wilbur”. Not to be out grossed by a pig, I took a big bite out of the biggest rib. It was heavenly pleasing! A crusty layer of rib meat mixed with so many different seasonings it was hard to pin down all the different flavors. Every spice complemented the other. It was wonderful; I looked at Norm and he was smiling back at me! He was right; it was the best tasting rib I’d ever eaten. We all went and sat down to finish them off. I asked Pig about his cheeseburger. He said he was quite pleased with it as he chased it down with a beer. But Raymond and I could not get over how good those ribs were. After eating, we went back to talk to Norm about the ribs. We told him we were with Thunder Roads Texas and his jaw dropped with the excitement of a jack rabbit on a hot date. Norm then told us the story of how his ribs came about. On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the best), I would You can contact Pig or Rainman by e-mail at pig8080@LIVE.COM For more of Pig’s wild adventures, check out his blog at pigspage.wordpress.com or follow him on Facebook.com/pig.meinhardt ThunderRoadsTexas.com
give Norm’s ribs a 12! You need to look for Norm at the next rally and try his ribs, they are that good! Oh and Norm also does catering. Pig replies: Yeah, yeah, we all know the ribs were good Rainman but it is time to get back to the rally. Where was I? Oh yeah, so after that disgusting display of carnage, we finally got away from all the jackals of pork products and were able to enjoy the rally. We had a great time just hanging out with everyone doing things Raymond’s mama wouldn’t approve of. The trip home later that evening was filled with questions about the biker community, why we were not members of a club, how do clubs settle their differences, and why would there be any differences in the first place. We could tell the Little Man was very impressed with everything he took in that day. We returned to the rally early on Sunday morning. We saw that many of the partiers were not as frisky as they were the night before! Actually we came back on Sunday morning to attend church. The Open Road Biker Fellowship had been invited to provide church service to anyone interested. They brought their band and gear and they really rocked the place. The rally began to wind down as everyone was packing up to head home. Another opportunity to tell more war stories of legend. Rainman and I want to take a moment to thank the Alamo City Gypsy’s for all their hard work in putting together the rally this year. We would also like to thank all of our friends who made such a great impression on “Little Man”; you guys are the greatest! And last but not the least, I want thank Norm for assuring me that the pork ribs he serves do not contain any of my dead family members… or Cousin Wilbur. Knowing that makes me feel much better about the situation and I can honestly say that you should look up Norm and give his ribs a try. If not, then at least try one of his Black Angus cheeseburgers, now those are good! I hope to see you all real soon out there on the road, but until then… Ride HARD or Stay Home! PS... If anyone has pictures from the rally they’d like to share with our readers, please send them to Shelly@ThunderRoadsTexas.com and I’m sure I can sweet talk her into putting them into a future issue. Texas-based, Texas-focused, Texas PROUD! RALLY DONE! No pics, due to Pig-erator error. If anyone has pics of this rally they’d like to share, send them to Shelly@ThunderRoadsTexas.com for future publication. April 2013 H Page 15
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April 2013 - Thunder Roads Texas Motorcycle Magazine

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