“My second mum and dad” - Grandparents Plus
“My second mum and dad” - Grandparents Plus
“My second mum and dad” - Grandparents Plus
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‘That would be a problem for me because… well yes I love them so I would be<br />
really upset if I couldn’t see them.’<br />
‘Yes I like seeing them… I’d rather have it, because they can help you can’t they?’<br />
‘Because well they’re my only gr<strong>and</strong>parents now, so they should be able to talk to<br />
me <strong>and</strong> things.’<br />
‘Yes, we should keep in touch because gr<strong>and</strong>parents are part of the family’<br />
A <strong>second</strong> theme was that gr<strong>and</strong>parents should keep in touch because they were<br />
different from other sort of relationships because they were part of the family.<br />
‘Yes they should, because they’re like gr<strong>and</strong>parents so they’re family so they should<br />
be able to have their own like, be able to be able to talk to them or keep in contact.’<br />
There were also strong feelings that parents should not be able to stop them<br />
seeing their gr<strong>and</strong>parents.<br />
‘No they shouldn’t be able to do that, (stop contact) no.’<br />
‘Yes definitely they need to stay in touch, yes.’<br />
They felt they should have the legal right to see them.<br />
‘Because well it’s their gr<strong>and</strong>child as well <strong>and</strong> it’s part of their family, just to keep<br />
in touch <strong>and</strong> help them out, that kind of thing.’<br />
‘They (young people) should have a chance get to know their gr<strong>and</strong>parents before<br />
they pass away.’<br />
It’s not the fault of children if parents row with gr<strong>and</strong>parents<br />
A strong theme was that disputes between parents <strong>and</strong> gr<strong>and</strong>parents were not the<br />
fault of gr<strong>and</strong>children <strong>and</strong> should not result in the gr<strong>and</strong>children losing contact<br />
with gr<strong>and</strong>parents. They felt the children would suffer as a result. When asked what<br />
should be done about it some young people reported that the law should changed<br />
to ensure that gr<strong>and</strong>parents could stay in touch with their gr<strong>and</strong>children.<br />
‘(Children should not lose contact with gr<strong>and</strong>parents). I think that’s not fair, because<br />
it isn’t the children’s fault.’<br />
‘I think they should get in touch because it’s not their fault; it’s not the gr<strong>and</strong>parents’<br />
fault, <strong>and</strong> not the children’s fault.’<br />
‘Yes because that’s like saying that you couldn’t see your kids, that’s unfair because<br />
they’ve had nothing to do with the divorce have they, so how is it their fault that<br />
they can’t see their gr<strong>and</strong>children?’<br />
‘They should change it (the law).’<br />
Contact even when parents do not agree<br />
A significant number of young people felt they would want to keep in contact with<br />
gr<strong>and</strong>parents even if their parents did not agree. Four of the older young people<br />
mentioned that they would actively pursue contact, if necessary in secret.<br />
‘But even if your <strong>mum</strong> had a fight with your gr<strong>and</strong>ma <strong>and</strong> you just don’t keep in<br />
contact, I think that the child should keep in contact with their gr<strong>and</strong>ma.’<br />
‘I don’t think it’s right (to stop contact), because if it was say <strong>mum</strong> had a fall out<br />
with dad, she might tell gr<strong>and</strong>dad that I’m not allowed to go to football with him<br />
anymore.’<br />
My <strong>second</strong> <strong>mum</strong> <strong>and</strong> dad / 29
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